The Long Hold Support Group

[[De...]]

I need another heating pad. Do you do moist heat? I m8ght try it. I with I had a sauna or steam room or hor tub in the house. That would really melt the muscles! Ahhhhhh.  I will ask Jim if he will get me the Mat. I am pretty broke. 

 

Hope they take a long break 

[[De...]]

Omg Stut! Yoy are cooking for 17 ppl! Ahhh. I couldnt even do that without a benzo brain!!! Lol

[[Fi...]]

Glad you are feeling a little better Fh. I lnow the walks are hard in this cold weather but I really think it helps. We cant sit on our asses all day and next thing you know your mind goes crazy being at home. Lol. Ly dd

 

Yes, I get very scared when I spend to much time in my head.  Going to wear tights and layer my clothes.  Hope it clears my head. 

[[De...]]

I do.the same thing fh. When I get out it clears my head. If I am in the house, my.mental sx get worse. We have to get out of our heads. I am glad you are taking a walk. 

[[De...]]

I have only been home for an hour and my anxiety has kicked up.

 

[[Tr...]]

Hello all!

Just a quick pop in! Hope you're all hanging in there today. Thinking of everyone. Will read the posts when I get some time.

 

I think I have names for the kitties and they are ... Drum roll please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 and the winners are!!!

 

JASPER JAX AND LUNA PETUNIA 😁🤗

 

YES I GAVE THEM MIDDLE NAMES, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO IS KNOWN AS TOO MANY T'S! 😂😂

 

LOVE TO ALL,

TT and too many tracks behind her🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾😻😻

 

[[Fi...]]

Made it out for a walk. 

 

Mood dropped midday and I have been feeling a lot of anger about what has happened to me.  The good news is last night I had a real clear thought that this was not my fault.  It doesnt change anything about this experience but it did ease my mind last night.

 

Love the name of the kitties Trish. 

[[Ma...]]

I need another heating pad. Do you do moist heat? I m8ght try it. I with I had a sauna or steam room or hor tub in the house. That would really melt the muscles! Ahhhhhh.  I will ask Jim if he will get me the Mat. I am pretty broke. 

 

Hope they take a long break 

 

They have been here rest of afternoon, on this side of house, and Sly has been terrible, want a dog :D.    I have brought up to hot tub to Tim, but he doesn't trust me to use it, and he knows me pretty well  :laugh:  I use moist heat .    I need to check my emails again !! 

[[Ma...]]

Hello all!

Just a quick pop in! Hope you're all hanging in there today. Thinking of everyone. Will read the posts when I get some time.

 

I think I have names for the kitties and they are ... Drum roll please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 and the winners are!!!

 

JASPER JAX AND LUNA PETUNIA 😁🤗

 

YES I GAVE THEM MIDDLE NAMES, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO IS KNOWN AS TOO MANY T'S! 😂😂

 

LOVE TO ALL,

TT and too many tracks behind her🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾😻😻

 

I bet they end up being Jax and Luna  .   

[[De...]]

Ohh poor Sly  I hope yhey leave at dont come back. Ohhh a hot tub. I would be in it all the time. I guess its the bathtub for now!!! Keep checking. It will be soon!!! Ly dd

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Intend, I am defeated, I can not watch another minute of MSNBC.  Now, everything is just getting repeated over and over.  I know more about politics than I ever wanted at this point.  I was looking at my kalenchos out back, one of our pots has half that grows the orange flowers, the other half the red.

They have much different leaves , but they both root like crazy.  I had a Christmas cactus for years that has bloomed like crazy, but something happened to it this summer and I think I am going to loose it . I hate it when I loose one of my dads plants.  Having all those plants makes me feel near to my parents, so it really bothers me when I loose one. 

Hope Dan isn't making you go to Lowes too often, and Pepper is getting lots of warmth from fire place.

Love you Intend, Mary 🌹🌹🌹. 🐈🐈🐾🐾.  🚂🚂🚂

[[In...]]

Intend, I am defeated, I can not watch another minute of MSNBC.  Now, everything is just getting repeated over and over.  I know more about politics than I ever wanted at this point.  I was looking at my kalenchos out back, one of our pots has half that grows the orange flowers, the other half the red.

They have much different leaves , but they both root like crazy.  I had a Christmas cactus for years that has bloomed like crazy, but something happened to it this summer and I think I am going to loose it . I hate it when I loose one of my dads plants.  Having all those plants makes me feel near to my parents, so it really bothers me when I loose one. 

Hope Dan isn't making you go to Lowes too often, and Pepper is getting lots of warmth from fire place.

Love you Intend, Mary 🌹🌹🌹. 🐈🐈🐾🐾.  🚂🚂🚂

 

Yes, I’m pretty sick of these hearings myself. I turned on the tv at 6:45 am this morning, and it seemed like they were going strong. And now it’s almost 6 pm here, and the dopey ones just won’t shut up. Well, we have a super dumb downed population unfortunately, so I’m sure they are all mixed up by now. But that’s all they’re really up to-mix up the general population more than they’re already mixed up.

 

I think I don’t like Dan much today. And Pepper is laying in front of the fireplace right now. And my kalanchoe plant is doing fine right now. It will be orange blossoms for this plant this spring and summer if it survives and if I survive.

 

I won’t blather on as most here do not know me, and I’m not sure they ever will. It’s complicated as “they” say. 🌹 🥀 🐾 🐈 🚂 🔧

[[co...]]

Anyone get worse during a long hold--as though staying at a certain dose for too long led to tolerance?

 

I have been holding a few months.  It started out as a short hold due to wanting to stabilize, but I got hit with a lot of life and health issues (dental surgery, etc) that led me to stretch it out.  My plan now is to hold until after the after the holidays are over.

 

It seems that I have been experiencing more days with high anxiety for no reasons--the level just short of an anxiety attack, as well as being jittery..  I am also experiencing loss of appetite and racing thoughts about my past and fears about the future. 

 

I dose with Valium once a day--early in the day with 2.28 mg of Valium.  I seem to be worse for the early part of the day, but feel much better as in almost normal later in the day.  I am wondering if the valium is becoming paradoxical.

 

I would be interested in everyone's thoughts and experience?

 

thanks

[[Tr...]]

Hi confuseduser,  I' m still not sure myself, wether I should hold for a long time ( 3 or more months) or should taper a little and hold again after that for a few weeks. I didn't feel anything yet after holding for about a month. Although my morning anxiety seems to settle down, which is of course great. But my pain is increasing. People on here say it takes much longer to stabilize.  Maybe it's my unrest and desire to get of this poison. I've been warned that this is the big struggle while holding: the wish to get off the benzos and the need to stabilize first. I take my dose just before bedtime. I sleep some 5 hours and wake up in pain. My mornings are awful with pain, stiffness and some nausea,  things improve in the afternoon, the evenings are mostly "fine". Hope this helps a bit. Good luck with your quest! 

[[va...]]

Confused, I've read many here reporting that their holds got them feeling worse before they felt better. I dont know how long you've been holding. A long hold is three months or more. I think we hold when we know we're tapering into hell. This is very individual. If you have decided to do a long hold to give your cns time to stabilize, remember one month is nothing really.

[[va...]]

Trochsy good morning. Where in the globe are you? I had quite a bad night. At least in the day time I can distract with all the things that need to be done.

 

Stutt I'm SO INTRIGUED by what kind of activity you're planning on for your future. I have a dream. If I ever heal I'll travel with my daughter. I'll go see your business, I'll go visit Suzy (and meet Jim  ), I'll go visit chinchuk, I'll go visit Estee in Poland, and who knows, maybe I will visit more people. Don't worry I'm no scrounger and I'll book Airbnb everywhere. And I don't want anyone sleeping in my living room either, this is no rehab clinic!

 

So mysterious stutt, I see you're keeping it a secret. This is good. Often when you talk about things they lose power. Just tell us about it when you feel like it. Or pm me, but I know you won't.

 

The news here talks about brexit a lot now, well, only the two percent of the share they don't bore us to death with the independentists in the north of my country. Really, this country is barely four square feet big and they still think we can divide it into pieces. So sick of it.

 

I have really NASTY symptoms. Not like summer but this feels in no way like healing. I think I'm screwed Stutt. Bromazepam since my thirties, then Valium CT twice, back on it, a rapid taper, then more years on it, and finally this taper attempt and crash plus Paxil CT before pregnancy plus twice on and off Lexapro. I'm screwed. I'm thinking I'll be on this dose forever plus my worst symptom is zero stress tolerance. Let's see what happens. Have a good day as much as the weather allows there. At least you'll never have a drought.

[[Tr...]]

Hi Valiumnomore,  you probably mist my response to you about where I live. It's in the Netherlands.

[[St...]]

Trochsy good morning. Where in the globe are you? I had quite a bad night. At least in the day time I can distract with all the things that need to be done.

 

Stutt I'm SO INTRIGUED by what kind of activity you're planning on for your future. I have a dream. If I ever heal I'll travel with my daughter. I'll go see your business, I'll go visit Suzy (and meet Jim  ), I'll go visit chinchuk, I'll go visit Estee in Poland, and who knows, maybe I will visit more people. Don't worry I'm no scrounger and I'll book Airbnb everywhere. And I don't want anyone sleeping in my living room either, this is no rehab clinic!

 

So mysterious stutt, I see you're keeping it a secret. This is good. Often when you talk about things they lose power. Just tell us about it when you feel like it. Or pm me, but I know you won't.

 

The news here talks about brexit a lot now, well, only the two percent of the share they don't bore us to death with the independentists in the north of my country. Really, this country is barely four square feet big and they still think we can divide it into pieces. So sick of it.

 

I have really NASTY symptoms. Not like summer but this feels in no way like healing. I think I'm screwed Stutt. Bromazepam since my thirties, then Valium CT twice, back on it, a rapid taper, then more years on it, and finally this taper attempt and crash plus Paxil CT before pregnancy plus twice on and off Lexapro. I'm screwed. I'm thinking I'll be on this dose forever plus my worst symptom is zero stress tolerance. Let's see what happens. Have a good day as much as the weather allows there. At least you'll never have a drought.

Morning Janice no l am not having that you are not screwed.l know you are looking back at your history however without a shadow of a doubt everyone has a drug history.This is a case of holding for as long as is necessary and sadly that will be a very long time.l don't believe you will never get off these drugs and to be honest with you my love it doesn't matter at this time.Now everything you talk about is withdrawal and that will lessen the longer you hold.l know you are struggling honey we all are however I have saw lots of people here going through absolute hell and coming out the other side and you are going to be one of those people.Your mind is just painting the darkest outcome however that is not fact.

I have to say l am keeping this under wraps for now however l believe it will be the best change for me.l just can't face the indoor work so l am doing what is best for me.

You are very welcome to my neck of the woods however just a little heads up you probably won't understand a word any of us are saying 😂.Try to enjoy some of your day my lovely and stop feeding into those thoughts please.loge you.X

[[St...]]

Anyone get worse during a long hold--as though staying at a certain dose for too long led to tolerance?

 

I have been holding a few months.  It started out as a short hold due to wanting to stabilize, but I got hit with a lot of life and health issues (dental surgery, etc) that led me to stretch it out.  My plan now is to hold until after the after the holidays are over.

 

It seems that I have been experiencing more days with high anxiety for no reasons--the level just short of an anxiety attack, as well as being jittery..  I am also experiencing loss of appetite and racing thoughts about my past and fears about the future. 

 

I dose with Valium once a day--early in the day with 2.28 mg of Valium.  I seem to be worse for the early part of the day, but feel much better as in almost normal later in the day.  I am wondering if the valium is becoming paradoxical.

 

I would be interested in everyone's thoughts and experience?

 

thanks

Morning Confused l think if you read back everyone has said yes it does get worse.lf you were in tolerance before you tapered you will always be in tolerance however what you are dealing with is plain old withdrawal.It takes a long time to stabilise and withdrawal symptoms ebb and flow and sometimes new ones kick in.That is normal for withdrawal.It is very hard to hold as we really don't know how long it will take for things to improve so if you are going to hold commit to the hold and let your brain do what it has to do to get back to some kind of normal.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Confused, I've read many here reporting that their holds got them feeling worse before they felt better. I dont know how long you've been holding. A long hold is three months or more. I think we hold when we know we're tapering into hell. This is very individual. If you have decided to do a long hold to give your cns time to stabilize, remember one month is nothing really.

Morning Troch l hope you do commit to a hold my love l do believe it will help relieve your pain however it really is your choice.You can stay with us while you taper and remember taper slowly and listen to your body.l know holding isn't for everyone so do what you believe to be best for you.That is all any of us can do.l have to say your English is exceptional.love to you.X

[[va...]]

Hi Valiumnomore,  you probably mist my response to you about where I live. It's in the Netherlands.

 

Troschetter I'm sorry I missed your post. The Netherlands. I've been there but only the typical weekend where you go and see the typical places in Amsterdam and smoke some legal weed. I was on valium and lexapro back then so I didn't even suspect the lovely withdrawal future that was awaiting me. We saw that tulip market, took a boat through the canals, went to a painters' street market and well, you know, the typical Amsterdam stuff. Very nice, I loved it.

[[va...]]

Confused, I've read many here reporting that their holds got them feeling worse before they felt better. I dont know how long you've been holding. A long hold is three months or more. I think we hold when we know we're tapering into hell. This is very individual. If you have decided to do a long hold to give your cns time to stabilize, remember one month is nothing really.

Morning Troch l hope you do commit to a hold my love l do believe it will help relieve your pain however it really is your choice.You can stay with us while you taper and remember taper slowly and listen to your body.l know holding isn't for everyone so do what you believe to be best for you.That is all any of us can do.l have to say your English is exceptional.love to you.X

 

And I bet he speaks French and German too, apart from Dutch and English. The Dutch are known for Speaking five languages in spite of smoking marihuana. A gifted race.

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Lady Mary were they doing a remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 😵? Just keep an eye out for old leather face or as we know him better as King 😉.l hope you have a quieter day my lovely and please control your pup 😏.l hope your m has gone? love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Suzy yes 17 😵.Do you fancy coming over and giving me a hand 😛.l swear if l could rent a cottage in the middle of nowhere l would do it in a heartbeat.Awe well l can dream.l hope you have a better day today honey.You can do this.love you.X

Morning Final l don't know why you are angry at yourself however l am glad you let it go.l know it doesn't change the withdrawal however l think it is one less thing to focus on.You will get through this honey.love to you.X

Morning Twiny do you not like the kittens?Why do you hate them so much? Whatever floats your boat my love.As long as your happy l'm happy.When are you getting them? Will they be with you for Xmas? love you my LST.X

Morning Intend, Gilly Valley Free Meems Nova Bill Miyu EsperanzaGP Breck and everyone here sending you my love and hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.X

[[St...]]

Confused, I've read many here reporting that their holds got them feeling worse before they felt better. I dont know how long you've been holding. A long hold is three months or more. I think we hold when we know we're tapering into hell. This is very individual. If you have decided to do a long hold to give your cns time to stabilize, remember one month is nothing really.

Morning Troch l hope you do commit to a hold my love l do believe it will help relieve your pain however it really is your choice.You can stay with us while you taper and remember taper slowly and listen to your body.l know holding isn't for everyone so do what you believe to be best for you.That is all any of us can do.l have to say your English is exceptional.love to you.X

 

And I bet he speaks French and German too, apart from Dutch and English. The Dutch are known for Speaking five languages in spite of smoking marihuana. A gifted race.

Very intelligent people and dare l say very handsome as well 😜. Never visited know a lot of people who have and absolutely loved it.X

[[Tr...]]

Thank you for your compliments, ladies. No, my French isn't what it used to be. But I do speak ( and read and white) Frisian ( my native language) , Dutch, English and German. That's one of the benefits of living in a small country. Stut, I am holding, but still find it hard to do. Three months is a long time,  but holding is probably going to be the best thing to do right now. Thank you again for your support. I must say, I really enjoy being a small part of this gang. This thread is by far the most active one on BB,  almost like a chat site.