The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Hi Stut,  Thanks for your kind words. My problematic  legs are a pre - existing condition.  All other symptoms started during the benzo period. My legs are getting more jelly by the day at the moment,  almost feeling paralysed at times, so I ' m extremely worried about that. Neurologists were unable so far to figure out was it is. They can tell me what it's not, but not was it is. But there is something very, very wrong. Hard to believe I went for a 13 minute walk yesterday. Today I can hardly manage 13 steps. Ughh.

[[Gu...]]

Good morning LHSG.

 

Hi Troch, glad neuro went well.  Our problem with Pdoc is they have no understanding how hard it is to taper these meds and refuse to listen to our symptoms. They believe once med is out of your system then something else must be the problem. 

 

Good luck with your pdoc Pebbles.  You know what to do now.

 

I am still visiting hell but gradually improving at a snails pace. 

 

My heart rate is worrying me as it has been between 44 and 57 bpm with 52 being average.  I’m scheduled for sleep study in January but pdoc has said if I have apnea I can’t take either benzo or z drug.  If he yanks me I will be a mess.  I’m trying to slowly taper Ambien from 10 and am currently at 9.  Going slower cuz 7.5 threw me over the edge.  I really need to get to 5 and hope my heart rate improves.

 

Lost and scared.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Stut,  Thanks for your kind words. My problematic  legs are a pre - existing condition.  All other symptoms started during the benzo period. My legs are getting more jelly by the day at the moment,  almost feeling paralysed at times, so I ' m extremely worried about that. Neurologists were unable so far to figure out was it is. They can tell me what it's not, but not was it is. But there is something very, very wrong. Hard to believe I went for a 13 minute walk yesterday. Today I can hardly manage 13 steps. Ughh.

 

Troch, the walking thing is very common.  I have never had it, but I have read about it on many threads and we both have a friend, Suzy, on this thread , that has had strange symptoms with her legs, comes and goes.  You may want to talk to her about it.  .  She may can shed some light or at least let you know , others here have that problem too.  Mary ♥️

[[Ma...]]

Yea Suzy, don't listen to that hussy! Haha Mary you crack me up! I actually laughed out loud when I read that.

Troch, so happy to hear you had a good visit at the neuro! That Lyme can be stubborn, I'm happy to hear you beat it down. Now to focus on healing from the benzo.

Trishy, thanks for the love! I do hope your son stays away from alcohol, I know this season can be triggering. Have fun in NYC!!!!! OMG I love it there. I had the good fortune to work there for a couple of months back when I worked in TV production.. my office was right next to Wall St and I was staying in a friend's 5 million dollar apartment in the financial district.. ooh Lala! I felt like such a jet setter. That was the beginning of my benzo journey.. ugh. I think back to then and want to go back in time and tell myself to never start them! But alas. Anyway, have so much fun in the Big Apple with your Big Apple 

Mary I'm so sorry to hear you had  a migraine, you don't deserve that!!!!! Glad to hear it's clearing up.

Love to you all Stut, GP, ValiumNM, Final, Intend, Bill, Seems, Magnolis, Suzy, and everyone else...

 

Oh, living near Wall Street in NYC, I could really get into that for awhile  :D. Maybe not at this time .  But one day! 

[[Tr...]]

Thank you,  Mary. Let's hope you're right about it. BTW,  strangely enough, things got a little better again,  so I went for a 10 minute walk. Made it home in one piece!

 

Suzy, could you perhaps shine your light on this scary phenomenon? Would be great.

[[Fi...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Janice anxiety still much the same sometimes more pronounced but always there.l don't really expect it to go completely however l try not to let it dictate to me.l have a few people that l could put forward for offerings if you run out of people 😜.l found when l got to .5mgs it definitely lifted me for a period of time however now it's just commonplace and l still see a mountain in front of me.l think it would be different if once you were off you would feel better however we all know that is just the beginning of our journey.l am still very busy with Sis etc so thankfully don't have a lot of time to dwell.Still tricky and hard but l am still doing what l can each day.l really hope you start to see an improvement however it will take a long time and there will be a lot of times when you think this is never going to end.Part of the recovery process sadly however it does end.Patience and acceptance will get you through this.Hang in there my lovely.love you.X

Morning Troch good news l think everyone thinks there has to be more going on it couldn't just be withdrawal? Now l will never say don't get things checked out however l will say once checked let it go.Remember the brain regulates every system in our body and that is why all the withdrawal symptoms are so varied.Try to keep busy honey and celebrate all your achievements no matter how small.love to you X

Morning Suzy just be you honey now you don't have to say you feel great however stay away from the cause.l know you want her to agree with you however she won't so let it go.Let us know how it goes.love you.X

. Morning GP all l have to say to you ball gowns 😵😕. Tell me more 🤔😁.l hope you are feeling better honey?love you.X

Morning Feeling how are you honey?Have you cut or are you holding?l hope you find relief soon my love.love to you.X

Morning Twiny l really hope you enjoy Xmas l know we all feel anxious when we cut however you will be ok.lf rocky you know what to do.Just stay put.Enjoy your parties and your trip to NYC.You deserve it my lovely.As for your son l really hope he stays away from the booze.One day at a time.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary another damn migraine l wish they would just bugger off.Hopefully that will be the last for some time.l hope you are settling back into your routine honey.love you my lady Mary Hen.X

Morning Olive how are you?Still feeling ok?I think we all regret taking these pills however l also believe we will be a lot stronger when we get off.love you.X

  Everyone here thinking of you and hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.X

 

Hi Stut,

 

 

Thanks for checking in and I'm sorry it's been tricky and hard for you. I hope your sister is doing all right and that she continues to stabilize.

 

I relate to getting to a certain point and knowing there is a mountain in front of me.  I'm feeling my recent cut so I'm holding now for a bit.  It continues to be up and down but when I feel the cut it feels like I'm back at the beginning. 

 

Hope everyone is doing okay.

 

 

[[De...]]

Hi everyone!

Thank.you all for your good advice. It helped ke so much. I just talked to the hussy and didnt bring up benzos! Lol. Let her lead the conversation and as long as i dont have any issues she can disagree with she is happy. Loser. So I dont have to see her again for three months!! Yay. I did stop at the dr on my.way home and told her my sx. She said i didnt have any ted flags and didnt think i had sciatica. So hopefully im ok. My.sx ate crasy but i told her them all. She was actually very nice. So I am supposed to make an appt with physiatry. They have no openings to feb. Great. So she pres me a muscle relaxer which i an pretty sure i cant take. I hate benzo life..it is not fun. Catch 22 prison is what it feels like to me.

 

Troch, my legs are bad too. Plus a painful spot on my.lower left side of back. My hips kill. They cramp up and walking is hard. It has to be the.benzo. i never had this problem up last April. I switched from x to v incortectly and I was like woah! Pins and needles in legs and feet and bad cramping. Anyway, it was like dynamite to my body. Along with other sx. I could barely walk. Started getting better and was switched to teva generic. Then I got this new muscle cramping. I can walk but not for long. It has gotten better while holding. I think the walking helps and listen to your body if you cant you cant. It is crazy!! But i still get the health anxiety too. I teally think its the benzos thw sx we have are kust to syrange. Like Mary says benzos attack the muscles. I dont know what it is about the.legs. I never had an imjuty in my l8ge..ohh until benzos!! Your going to be ok. Ly Suzy

 

[[Tr...]]

Thanks, Suzy! Hope we all get well soon.

[[De...]]

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

I am sorry you are having so much anxiety. I read somewere that once you get to a low dose you have a brief windows of normalcy and it can be very dissapointing when sx come back. If that makes sense. I understand anxiety for sure. It is awful. More than awful.  Had it since  a child. I hope is lessons for you very soon. Love you Suzy

 

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Janice anxiety still much the same sometimes more pronounced but always there.l don't really expect it to go completely however l try not to let it dictate to me.l have a few people that l could put forward for offerings if you run out of people 😜.l found when l got to .5mgs it definitely lifted me for a period of time however now it's just commonplace and l still see a mountain in front of me.l think it would be different if once you were off you would feel better however we all know that is just the beginning of our journey.l am still very busy with Sis etc so thankfully don't have a lot of time to dwell.Still tricky and hard but l am still doing what l can each day.l really hope you start to see an improvement however it will take a long time and there will be a lot of times when you think this is never going to end.Part of the recovery process sadly however it does end.Patience and acceptance will get you through this.Hang in there my lovely.love you.X

Morning Troch good news l think everyone thinks there has to be more going on it couldn't just be withdrawal? Now l will never say don't get things checked out however l will say once checked let it go.Remember the brain regulates every system in our body and that is why all the withdrawal symptoms are so varied.Try to keep busy honey and celebrate all your achievements no matter how small.love to you X

Morning Suzy just be you honey now you don't have to say you feel great however stay away from the cause.l know you want her to agree with you however she won't so let it go.Let us know how it goes.love you.X

. Morning GP all l have to say to you ball gowns 😵😕. Tell me more 🤔😁.l hope you are feeling better honey?love you.X

Morning Feeling how are you honey?Have you cut or are you holding?l hope you find relief soon my love.love to you.X

Morning Twiny l really hope you enjoy Xmas l know we all feel anxious when we cut however you will be ok.lf rocky you know what to do.Just stay put.Enjoy your parties and your trip to NYC.You deserve it my lovely.As for your son l really hope he stays away from the booze.One day at a time.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary another damn migraine l wish they would just bugger off.Hopefully that will be the last for some time.l hope you are settling back into your routine honey.love you my lady Mary Hen.X

Morning Olive how are you?Still feeling ok?I think we all regret taking these pills however l also believe we will be a lot stronger when we get off.love you.X

  Everyone here thinking of you and hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.X

Thank you my lovely twin. I will try my best to enjoy the next couple of weeks. My son is still sober as of today, I have my fingers crossed🤞 and my hands placed together 🙏 that he'll remain so. I'm trying not to dwell on my upcoming cut.. Will deal with it as it comes 🙄 love you much tiny one 😁

LST♥️♥️

[[Tr...]]

Yea Suzy, don't listen to that hussy! Haha Mary you crack me up! I actually laughed out loud when I read that.

Troch, so happy to hear you had a good visit at the neuro! That Lyme can be stubborn, I'm happy to hear you beat it down. Now to focus on healing from the benzo.

Trishy, thanks for the love! I do hope your son stays away from alcohol, I know this season can be triggering. Have fun in NYC!!!!! OMG I love it there. I had the good fortune to work there for a couple of months back when I worked in TV production.. my office was right next to Wall St and I was staying in a friend's 5 million dollar apartment in the financial district.. ooh Lala! I felt like such a jet setter. That was the beginning of my benzo journey.. ugh. I think back to then and want to go back in time and tell myself to never start them! But alas. Anyway, have so much fun in the Big Apple with your Big Apple 

Mary I'm so sorry to hear you had  a migraine, you don't deserve that!!!!! Glad to hear it's clearing up.

Love to you all Stut, GP, ValiumNM, Final, Intend, Bill, Seems, Magnolis, Suzy, and everyone else...

Hey Olive,

Wow!! I wish I was you living in NYC in TV production! Sounds like it was an exciting time in your life. Sorry you got bit by the benzos back then though, total bummer 😔

Lolol!! I will bring my big ol 🍎 to the big 🍎!  :laugh:

TT ♥️

[[Tr...]]

Hey ladies and gents of the LHSG, thinking of you all and sending healing thoughts.

Love to all,

TT ♥️♥️

[[De...]]

HeyTt,

Have a wonderful time in NYC!! That is going to be so.much fun!!

We are here if you need us.  I know your  little worried about the cut. Your last two went so well. Try not to stress to much. You could also wait until you came back home. Just a thougt. Ly Suzy

❤❤❣

[[Tr...]]

Good morning, everyone!  Hoping we all had a good night and wishing us all a good day. May our healing be just around the corner. 

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning GP l feel for you sweetheart you are in a difficult position.Now if it were me l would postpone the sleep trial until l was on a lower dose on my other meds.l would not take the risk of being cold turkeyed off the Ativan and lorazepam.l know it is frustrating however l don't want you to be thrown into hell after you have come so far.

As for your pulse are you on any other medications eg bp meds?lf so they can be contributing to the problem regarding your pulse rate.If you are not it is probably just another withdrawal symptom however don't hesitate to get it checked out.Try not to panic my love you have been through a lot recently so just stay put and let things settle down please.love you.X

Morning Troch l can relate to the weak jelly legs etc and l have no underlying disorders.l think definitely benzo withdrawal hits us all at our weakest spot and exacerbates the condition.For now just do what you can my love and see if things improve with a good long hold.love to you.

Morning Final been there done that l think we all feel that.lt seems impossible most of the time however you will get off these drugs.My advice would be to hold until after Xmas.This is a very stressful time of year so just try to hold for now and then very slowly and carefully taper off.You can do this.love to you.

Morning Suzy yes anxiety is horrible l know people say it's just anxiety however anxiety is crippling to live with.l should know l have lived with it for many years.I used to think l was weak in some way however l now realise l am actually very strong and so are you my love.l don't get windows and that's ok l will settle for not being dragged into hell.I am glad your appointment went well my love.You don't need those people you will do this on your own terms.love you.

Morning Trish l am praying for your son as well.l know you want to help him however he has to do this for himself and he will.l know you will have a good time in NY and please buy your twiny something expensive and nice 😘. You are doing so well honey and l am so proud of you.love you my lST X

. Morning lady Mary how are you honey?Are you feeling any better?l hope so.l miss our wee chats hopefully we will get one in a some stage.l am always chasing my tail however l am delighted to see you back posting.love you my lady Mary Hen.

Morning Intend,Free, Janice, Esperanza,Meems,J,Nova, Olive,MiyuValley Bill Gilly and everyone here would love to hear from you all.l hope everyone is hanging in there.Thinking of you and hoping you all have a withdrawal free day.

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

I always felt weak because of anxiety too and hated myself for itm My self esteem went down.  It is crippling. We are very strong not weak. We have to push so hard thru it everyday.  The anxiety attacks and shaking . I felt like it held me back if life because I was avoiding and hiding from things that  caused those anxiety attacks. I really did push through alot of it. It was hard sometimes I felt as if I would collapse but.i didnt and learned to cope. It is a hard way to live. I def think.the benzo made it worse though. The anxiety became to the point were you felt you could not step our the front door or work without the benzo. I have found though the more you push through it gets better. I really dont get the anxiety attacks the way i used to. Not sure why but i am still a nervous wreck..lol. I guess everyone has something.  Still I hope when we are off we have built up so many new coping skills we will handle it. I am a little afraid at the same time how its going to be without the benzo as much as i hate it. I could go on forever about it. I have had it so long like you have. People dont understand just how awful it is. Love you and hope you are feeling less anxious today and hope sis and daughter and puppies are all well.  sorry i am rambling lately. I hope i am making sense. Ugh I get jelly legs too with anxiety you ferl like you might tip over. Bye ly

[[Tr...]]

My dear friends please pray in your way for my sister she is going for an emergency scan today the Dr is concerned about pancreatic cancer. We have a genetic mutation that me and all my sisters carry that cause breast, pancreatic and a few other cancers. The gene is called ATM and there's one called pms1 and I think 2 we carry them. I'm a complete wreck and want all prayers I can get. I also want prayers for a missing one year old in my state of Connecticut. Her mother was murdered in her home and the baby was taken. Police want Connecticut residents to share this everywhere on social media, everywhere. There is an Amber alert on this little girl. She could be anywhere. Being a mother and a grandmother this hits my heart hard 😭.. please send your prayers up for this child that she be brought home safely and for my sister.

Love to all,

Trish 😭😭

[[Fi...]]

I'm praying for your sister Trish and the safe return of the baby. 

 

May God watch over both your sister and this baby and keep then safe at this time. 

[[De...]]

Omg Tt,

I am so sorry about your sister. I will pray for her. Please keep us posted if you are able. I will pray for the safe return of the baby. That is horrifying. My god the poor baby. Please keep her safe. Ly dd

[[fr...]]

Praying Trishy.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[[Ol...]]

Oh Trishy I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I hope that they find nothing and it was a false alarm. Sending you and your family love. My sister had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy and chemo and radiation at 34 yrs old, and came through it all healthy and cancer free, it can happen!

Hoping for the safe return of baby, what a sad story.

 

Hi Stut thank you for asking, I am doing pretty well, I'm in Portland now and have seen a few friends here who know my whole story and are very supportive. I hope your sister and daughter are wells and I hope you get some windows sometime soon. Love

 

And love to all.

 

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Suzy, free FH, Olive!

She's in the clear!! Thank God Almighty. She has some sort of deuodenal inflammatory process going on but no mass!! Praise the Lord 🙏🙏

 

Thank you guys I was really losing it today.

 

I love you so thank you for your prayers 😘♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[[Tr...]]

Please keep prayers going, however you pray, for the baby girl. May God bring her home safely 🙏🙏🙏🙏

 

Love you guys so much ❤️

 

Be well everyone. Be back later hopefully.

Trish ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[[Gu...]]

Oh Trishy.  I’m so relieved your sister is in the clear.  Prayers for you, your son, your family and that poor little girl.