The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

:

Guys, you are such a comfort and support to me that I can’t put into words my gratitude!

 

:mybuddy:

[[Ol...]]

Hi all,

I took a few days off for Thanksgiving, my bf and I drove from Grass Valley to Santa Cruz, and he got to meet my family for the first time, cousins and all. Then we came back to my mom's house and spent a couple of days together here. It was fun to introduce him to my mom and her cat, and show him the house I grew up in. And thankfully I was feeling pretty good the whole time! Good enough to enjoy being social rather than just endure it, BIG change from last year!

Love to all of you.

[[Ma...]]

Hi all,

I took a few days off for Thanksgiving, my bf and I drove from Grass Valley to Santa Cruz, and he got to meet my family for the first time, cousins and all. Then we came back to my mom's house and spent a couple of days together here. It was fun to introduce him to my mom and her cat, and show him the house I grew up in. And thankfully I was feeling pretty good the whole time! Good enough to enjoy being social rather than just endure it, BIG change from last year!

Love to all of you.

 

That sounds great OK, glad you had such a good time  . Welcome back, Mary ♥️♥️♥️

[[AZ...]]

Hello everyone

I haven’t been on in a while.  I had a terrible setback in early November when I had the flu.  It hit me hard.  I’m feeling much better the last couple weeks, and I’m continuing my taper down.  It’s amazing how slowly and gradually things have improved for me over time.  I have setbacks, but the long hold, and slow liquid microtaper have really worked for me.  each month I feel a bit better when I look back a month but it is SO gradual and slow.  But now I feel so much better, have patience everyone it does get better but it can take a long time of stable dosing.

 

Sounds like most folks had a good thanksgiving holiday despite the withdrawal nastiness.  We had a nice day, I smoked a turkey on a wood pellet smoker and it was great, everyone loved it.  Had the whole family including granddaughters here.  It was a very nice time.

 

I hope everyone has a good weekend.  Keep marching we will get better, it just can take a very long time.

Bill

[[St...]]

I have been in a downward  wave for last 7 days. I haven’t changed anything except take 3 small dosages if mirtazapine, 3 days apart, not consecutively because I was losing it from insomnia. I also take trazadone, which wasn’t helping. Yesterday I was sick and had the most severe symptoms since I updosed 4 weeks ago. And I got an additional symptom of throat tightening chest anxiety. Do you think the mirtz caused this? I know this takes 3 months to stabilize but is it typical for symptoms to get worse? No updose, right?  Thanks you all seem so happy and I have dp so I’ve stayed off last few days.

  Morning Mags l wasn't going to be on today however l read your post and l had to respond l really hope you read this.You said it takes 3 months to stabilise l have to say this takes as long as it takes there is no guarantee that in 3 months you will be stable.Sadly no one can predict this.l am saying this as l do not want you setting timelines.Remember you are no worse than anyone here we have all suffered through this and held.Now stability is getting to a point where symptoms are manageable and it does tend to get worse before it gets better however it will always ebb and flow.Keep a journal my love because sometimes we forget and feel we are not moving forward.Hang in there.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better Sunday.I will be back next week thinking of all here.Stay strong.Love and hugs Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,  yesterday was a better day. I went for a drive because it was nice and sunny (plus having to recharge the car battery, because I don't use the car much these days.) In the afternoon I went for a short walk twice. Evenings are usually OK.

Today is a bad day: I am cold, have belly pain,  muscles are hurting, I feel weak, anxiety is back again. What a difference a day makes...Hoping things improve after I have had lunch. Wishing us all a good sunday.

[[Fi...]]

Hi all,

I took a few days off for Thanksgiving, my bf and I drove from Grass Valley to Santa Cruz, and he got to meet my family for the first time, cousins and all. Then we came back to my mom's house and spent a couple of days together here. It was fun to introduce him to my mom and her cat, and show him the house I grew up in. And thankfully I was feeling pretty good the whole time! Good enough to enjoy being social rather than just endure it, BIG change from last year!

Love to all of you.

 

That sounds like an achievement.  Travel and socializing.  So glad you are feeling better and can notice it. 

 

 

[[De...]]

Hi.Bill,

Glad you are feeling better and had a nice Thanksgiving! It feels good when you finally get to enjoy things again with family

Mine was good too. I mostly played with my neice. I always end up playing with the kids.  They are so adorable. Jope you co.tinue to get better and no.more setbacks. Ly dd

[[De...]]

Hi ok,

So glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. It must have been nice to see your family!! Hope you are still feeling ok. I kmow the moods come and go. I notice the weather for me makes a difference. No sun today. Boo. Ly Suzy

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hey everyone!!  Bill so glad you are back around that nasty corner and had a good Thanksgiving.

 

It's so good to come on Long Hold and see most of you talking back and forth.  We are a group to be proud of, we care for each other and quickly suck any newbies right into the group 

 

I miss you English, Lil, and Georgie.  I hope everyday we get a little good news from you guys.  Thinking of you all.  Love Mary ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️.  :smitten:

[[De...]]

 

[[Ol...]]

Hi ok,

So glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. It must have been nice to see your family!! Hope you are still feeling ok. I kmow the moods come and go. I notice the weather for me makes a difference. No sun today. Boo. Ly Suzy

 

Thanks Suzy! I hope your pain is manageable today, you are such a sweetheart you deserve to feel good.

I did have a good time over Thanksgiving, Yesterday I felt off again, my main symptom is digestive, I had acid reflux and was generally uncomfortable, and that sets off my anxiety. It wasn't too bad, manageable, but I am just so tired of finally feeling a bit better and then I'll have another bad day just to remind me that I can never count on feeling good. Today a bit better though so far.

Tomorrow I leave for Portland, I'll be there most of December. I hope yesterday was a fluke!!!! It's always a rollercoaster for me but on a general upward trend over the last year.

Love to Stut, Mary, GP, ValiumNM, Valley, Final, Intend, Bill, Troch, Trishy, Magnolis, and all of LHSG.

[[De...]]

Hi Olivek,

I totally get it! It makes mo sense. Good one day bad the next. Drives me crazy.  What a healing process. We will get through this and we will get back to balance again. It is hard to take when you know feeling good is temporary for now. Have a great time in Portland. It could have been a fluke. All that Thanksgiving food! Your last trip went well so I am sure this one will too!! Ly Suzy

[[va...]]

Hi everyone. Just popping in to say hi.

Trishy apple butt you sound happy lately in spite of all the odds. I hope you are and that you’ve found some interesting bargains in the black Friday. I got myself a cellphone with more gigas because I had no space for all the apps we need now to function. The discount was fine but not great. I hope all the troubles at home are starting to settle and that you can have a good Christmas like you love so much.

Magnolis I know you’re suffering so badly and as Stutt says there’s no guarantee that you’ll feel much better after three months but usually people do get better with holding and everyone will be reluctant to tell you a timeline because it’s impossible to predict, but usually people get better ok? Hold on tight and find distraction. I haven’t seen you in the game section. Trust me it’s a great one.

Mary yes you’re right we can be proud of this group and you’re one who keeps it alive that’s for sure. I hope your hold starts to give you some relief. Otherwise what can we do? Just survive and stay alive as I suppose if the universe put us here it must be for a reason although if it weren’t to raise my daughter and how good she is to me,  I’d believe the universe is filming some kind of drama movie based on my life and that this benzo crash is the dramatic culmination of it. Anyway we just keep on keeping on and see what the hell is waiting for us in the future. There might even be some good stuff who knows although I’m definitely not in the mood today to count too much on it, but I have better days. You have Tim and you have each other and that’s something bwd will not take away from you.

Suzy it’s also raining here all day for three days. We need the rain badly but I’m really depressed. I have a satanic, really satanic wave just when I was starting to think that maybe I was finally stabilizing. I have to stop doing that (thinking that I’m stabilizing), for crying out loud. I’m so glad you had a good time with your little niece. She must be delighted to have an auntie like you.

GP I’m so happy you enjoyed wicked. Enjoying a good play in spite of all this makes life really worth living for two hours. Did your bf go and did he like it?

Bill I’m so glad you popped in to say hi. It’s great to know that you’re getting better as you go lower and it will be a dream come true when we’re all off this. Your granddaughters must love to be around their grandpa and you cook too, that’s a plus.

Olive Kitty I’m glad you could enjoy being with your bf and mom. It’s great that you’re stabilizing it really gives me hope in spite of not being especially hopeful today. In that year and a half, I wonder if you thought you’d never stabilize, because I certainly do think so about my own withdrawal. I’m suddenly better and suddenly much worse. Yes, nothing as bad as July but surely bad enough to consider it “stabilizing”. And I know what wd is trust me my June and July was literally the pit of hell. So I’m of course better now but well enough to ever consider tapering again? Nope.

Meems I hope you’re doing ok with mom and cat and with your own withdrawal.

Final Healing I hope you’re getting better too.

 

Also missing Gilly, Lilgma and I bet there are a few I don’t remember now but I also miss.

 

Stutt I hope you had a decent weekend and that you find freedom very soon.

 

Love,

 

Janice

 

[[Ol...]]

You are so sweet Janice.. Yes, I definitely thought I would never stabilize. I held for a year and a half having no idea if it was the right thing or not. But I did it anyway and I did eventually stabilize. And you will too!

[[De...]]

Hi Janice,

You have a great sense of humour! You had me laughing. All yhe apps we need to survive! I hate those satanic waves.  Why cant we have a break. At least more than a say a month. This is so evil! The rain gets me down. There was a flurry mixed in so that was  pretty. I am having a wavy  day too. One more day closer to freedom! Ly Suzy

[[Jo...]]

I'm joining the long hold support group.  I didn't know it existed.  My first cut was on April 28th, 2019.  My second cut was on October 30, 2019.  Does this qualify for a long hold ?  I'll probably be holding even longer on the rest of my cuts.  Both cuts were 1/4 of a 5mg pill of Valium.  (1.25mg Valium each with 6 months between the first one and the second one)  My current dose is 2.5mg Valium.  I've been on benzos almost 30 years.  I was on Klonopin for over 21 years.  I've been off Klonopin for 7 years.  I used to take a siezure med, too ... and I've been off that for about 8 years.

 

(I'm also currently taking 150mg Bupropion, and 600mg Lithium which I also want to taper off of)

 

Kindly,

j

[[Tr...]]

Hi all, my nights are getting worse,  just like the rest of the day. Sleep was very disturbed,  not at all refreshing.  After awaking at 4.30 am. anxiety and pain set in. Tossing and turning a zillion times. Got up at 7, feeling run over by several trucks. After breakfast nausea sets in.  Has been the case since shortly after  the start of my taper. Stiff as a board. Very unsettled on my legs. Need to get some groceries today, but don't think my legs will be able to carry me. I hate benzos.

[[Tr...]]

Update: although I was feeling like crap and very shaky on my feet, I threw caution to the wind, drove to the supermarket and made it back home in one piece again! Pfew! Proud of myself. Had a talk with a guy that works there. His wife is in the same boat as me ( and most of us): she's trying to taper off  benzo (Diazepam). Things didn't go well, so the Dr. put her back on a higher dose again. Almost her original dose. So sad to hear that. All that suffering for nothing.  Hope you all had a good sleep. Wishing you a symptom free day!

[[St...]]

I'm joining the long hold support group.  I didn't know it existed.  My first cut was on April 28th, 2019.  My second cut was on October 30, 2019.  Does this qualify for a long hold ?  I'll probably be holding even longer on the rest of my cuts.  Both cuts were 1/4 of a 5mg pill of Valium.  (1.25mg Valium each with 6 months between the first one and the second one)  My current dose is 2.5mg Valium.  I've been on benzos almost 30 years.  I was on Klonopin for over 21 years.  I've been off Klonopin for 7 years.  I used to take a siezure med, too ... and I've been off that for about 8 years.

 

(I'm also currently taking 150mg Bupropion, and 600mg Lithium which I also want to taper off of)

 

Kindly,

j

Morning Joz and welcome to the LHSG.Yes you are doing long holds however you are doing large cuts which seem to be working for you.Well done on getting so low on your dose.As you get lower l would advise you cut less as some people find lower doses more challenging so be careful you don't cut too much.l think you have a good handle on this so listen to your body and please take your time.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Update: although I was feeling like crap and very shaky on my feet, I threw caution to the wind, drove to the supermarket and made it back home in one piece again! Pfew! Proud of myself. Had a talk with a guy that works there. His wife is in the same boat as me ( and most of us): she's trying to taper off  benzo (Diazepam). Things didn't go well, so the Dr. put her back on a higher dose again. Almost her original dose. So sad to hear that. All that suffering for nothing.  Hope you all had a good sleep. Wishing you a symptom free day!

  Well done Troch you can do more than you think you can.l think you must keep challenging yourself and believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to.If l just waited around to feel better l would do nothing so keep on keeping on.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Janice you will improve honey it takes a long time.l always think l should be better than l am and l can become very frustrated which really doesn't help.l have to practice acceptance every day and l know it doesn't come easy to me.Glad you got something in the sale l didn't buy anything l will wait until January then l will pick up a few bargains l hope.Stay strong honey.love you.X

. Morning Olive enjoy your trip my love.You really have come a long way and you are proof that holding does help.l see you have a new bf could you give Janice some tips 😜.Let us know how it goes.love to you.X

Morning Twiny apple butt l swear everytime l lift a granny smith l think of you 😵.Let us know how you are getting on you must be away on your trip soon ? love you my lST X

Morning Suzy how are you honey feeling any better? Remember not to overstretch and be kind to yourself.l hope the pain eases soon my love.love you.X

Morning Bill l am delighted you had a good Thanksgiving you definitely have benefited from your hold and slow taper.l can't say l am finding lower doses easier however some do.l really hope things continue to go well for you.love to you.X

Morning GP l read you enjoyed wicked woohoo 🎊. You are doing so well.l hope you didn't lose yourself in the black hole (your handbag 😏). Now don't taper anything else and let everything settle down for a while.Love you.X

Morning lady Mary have you got your decorations up yet?l did mine yesterday thank God.l hate doing them but once they are up l love them.l hope you will soon feel a little better honey.love you my lady Mary HenX

. Morning Intend, Esperanza, Gilly Valley Free Meems, Final and everyone here thinking of you and l hope you drop us a post soon.Love to you all.X

[[Tr...]]

Thank you, Stut. Glad I went early, because I' m not feeling so great right now. Fatigue set in again as well as more muscle rigidity and pain.  Hope to be able to go for my daily walk ( albeit only 10 minutes) this afternoon. So right now I' m saving energy for that. There's only so much I can do in a day. Pain drains my energy big time. A huge pitfall is to be wanting to do more on a good day. This will always kick me in the teeth the next day. Last Saturday I took two walks because I was having a small window. Sunday was horrible. So I' ll stick to one as long as it takes. Doing too much is like tapering too fast.

[[St...]]

Thank you, Stut. Glad I went early, because I' m not feeling so great right now. Fatigue set in again as well as more muscle rigidity and pain.  Hope to be able to go for my daily walk ( albeit only 10 minutes) this afternoon. So right now I' m saving energy for that. There's only so much I can do in a day. Pain drains my energy big time. A huge pitfall is to be wanting to do more on a good day. This will always kick me in the teeth the next day. Last Saturday I took two walks because I was having a small window. Sunday was horrible. So I' ll stick to one as long as it takes. Doing too much is like tapering too fast.

Couldn't agree more pacing ourselves is really the best thing which is difficult when you are feeling a little better.l believe as time passes we can do more however until that time just do as much as you can without overstretching yourself.X