The Long Hold Support Group

[[Sh...]]

Well I have made it to 4 months holding. I've actually jumped and am at 0 but this is the first ever time I've really given my body a chance to stabilise. So it's pretty much a long hold after a 9 month taper, and I don't know where else to post so I'm kind of just joining in here. The early months were very, very difficult. I saw basically no improvement at all for 2 months. That just goes to show that 2 months is no where near enough time for your body to normalise. I started to improve in month 3 and at month 4 I'm feeling a lot healthier. When I'm distracted I basically completely forget about my mental sfxs now. I am however, still very frustrated that my alone time is still very difficult as the intrusive/ocd thoughts bombard me. I cannot wait for the day where my mind can rest. This is the most challenging thing anyone could ever do. The constant suffering. Sometimes I wonder how I've even made it through the last year (as I bet most of us are wondering). Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.

 

Hope everyone Is okay,

Shamo.

[[An...]]

Hello everyone,

I posted here a bit ago, and am grateful for the responses and care, I received.

I was in a hold of 28 days, I then tapered for 10 days.

The first 8 days symptoms seemed to settle. But the following 2 days I started to experience the usual symptoms.

It seems that neither tapering or holding is providing any relief. This is a new pattern that has emerged.

I continue to go through a tough time, with nonstop heart palps, dizziness, anxiety, elevated BP, and complete unwellness

I am holding again, hoping that this uptick will settle.

Can anyone share any thoughts please?

I hope that all of you are doing well.

Congratulations Valley for your half way accomplishment Well done

 

[[He...]]

Anoushka,,I'm sorry you are struggling.

IMO Perhaps you need to hold longer than 28 days to stabelize before you startyour taper again. Perhaps you started to cut again when your brain had not caught up to your cuts. The wdfx you are experiencing may possibly be your brain saying " You are going too fast! I am healing. I need time to adjust before you cut again."

If you are experiencing very bad wdfx, it could be your brain telling you that you have tapered down too quickly, by making too many cuts, too fast. Maybe you need to give your brain time to heal and catch up to a taper that was too fast or too aggressive for you. It may need a hold of longer than 28 days. Maybe three or four four months. But most importantly, listen to your body and don't make any cuts based on a calendar. Cut on the basis of how you feel. Cut when you are feelingmuch better. Don't make cuts when you are having bad wdfx.

 

I had that happen to me, and a long hold, giving my brain time to adjust and heal, is working very well for me. Wdfx still come and go, but they are much more manageable.

.

You have to do what is best for you. But a hold of 28 days is not really a long hold. Maybe you need to hold much longer.

Rushing ahead only gives you bad wdfx. A slow and steady taper with long holds if necessary, listening to your body and how you feel, not a calendar, will most likely keep your wdfx at a minimum.

 

Good luck, don't rush your taper. Slow and steady will make your taper more bearable.

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Well I have made it to 4 months holding. I've actually jumped and am at 0 but this is the first ever time I've really given my body a chance to stabilise. So it's pretty much a long hold after a 9 month taper, and I don't know where else to post so I'm kind of just joining in here. The early months were very, very difficult. I saw basically no improvement at all for 2 months. That just goes to show that 2 months is no where near enough time for your body to normalise. I started to improve in month 3 and at month 4 I'm feeling a lot healthier. When I'm distracted I basically completely forget about my mental sfxs now. I am however, still very frustrated that my alone time is still very difficult as the intrusive/ocd thoughts bombard me. I cannot wait for the day where my mind can rest. This is the most challenging thing anyone could ever do. The constant suffering. Sometimes I wonder how I've even made it through the last year (as I bet most of us are wondering). Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.

 

Hope everyone Is okay,

Shamo.

Congrats for making it this far Shamo! I really believe at 6 months, you'll feel almost 100%.  --V

[[Va...]]

Hello everyone,

I posted here a bit ago, and am grateful for the responses and care, I received.

I was in a hold of 28 days, I then tapered for 10 days.

The first 8 days symptoms seemed to settle. But the following 2 days I started to experience the usual symptoms.

It seems that neither tapering or holding is providing any relief. This is a new pattern that has emerged.

I continue to go through a tough time, with nonstop heart palps, dizziness, anxiety, elevated BP, and complete unwellness

I am holding again, hoping that this uptick will settle.

Can anyone share any thoughts please?

I hope that all of you are doing well.

Congratulations Valley for your half way accomplishment Well done

It's the waxing and waning that gets us every time Anoushka. You can feel good for a few days and then out of the blue feel terible again. Usually holding until you feel consistently better is the way to determine the length of your hold. Heath probably put it best.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Well I have made it to 4 months holding. I've actually jumped and am at 0 but this is the first ever time I've really given my body a chance to stabilise. So it's pretty much a long hold after a 9 month taper, and I don't know where else to post so I'm kind of just joining in here. The early months were very, very difficult. I saw basically no improvement at all for 2 months. That just goes to show that 2 months is no where near enough time for your body to normalise. I started to improve in month 3 and at month 4 I'm feeling a lot healthier. When I'm distracted I basically completely forget about my mental sfxs now. I am however, still very frustrated that my alone time is still very difficult as the intrusive/ocd thoughts bombard me. I cannot wait for the day where my mind can rest. This is the most challenging thing anyone could ever do. The constant suffering. Sometimes I wonder how I've even made it through the last year (as I bet most of us are wondering). Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.

 

Hope everyone Is okay,

Shamo.

Congrats for making it this far Shamo! I really believe at 6 months, you'll feel almost 100%.  --V

 

Thanks a lot vally. I hope you're right. If you are...the finish line is not far away!! What makes you think 6 months?

[[Va...]]

Well I have made it to 4 months holding. I've actually jumped and am at 0 but this is the first ever time I've really given my body a chance to stabilise. So it's pretty much a long hold after a 9 month taper, and I don't know where else to post so I'm kind of just joining in here. The early months were very, very difficult. I saw basically no improvement at all for 2 months. That just goes to show that 2 months is no where near enough time for your body to normalise. I started to improve in month 3 and at month 4 I'm feeling a lot healthier. When I'm distracted I basically completely forget about my mental sfxs now. I am however, still very frustrated that my alone time is still very difficult as the intrusive/ocd thoughts bombard me. I cannot wait for the day where my mind can rest. This is the most challenging thing anyone could ever do. The constant suffering. Sometimes I wonder how I've even made it through the last year (as I bet most of us are wondering). Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.

 

Hope everyone Is okay,

Shamo.

Congrats for making it this far Shamo! I really believe at 6 months, you'll feel almost 100%.  --V

 

Thanks a lot vally. I hope you're right. If you are...the finish line is not far away!! What makes you think 6 months?

That seems to be the magic number tossed around on another forum I'm in lol. It was also the amount of time it took me to stabilise after cutting 8.5mg in 5 weeks which is pretty close to a ct without having come off the drug.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Oh cool. Ive also seen the 6 month mark noted in another write up ive read about benzo wd. It said most people even after doing a slow taper should expect 6 months to a year. Gosh where has the last year gone?

[[Va...]]

Oh cool. Ive also seen the 6 month mark noted in another write up ive read about benzo wd. It said most people even after doing a slow taper should expect 6 months to a year. Gosh where has the last year gone?

Ain't that the truth lol.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Ive defintely reached a new phase. I call this the frustrated/annoyed phase. Im not longer really depressed and scared anymore. Ive improved to the point where I know Ill get there now and its not far away. Now Im just annoyed that Im still healing and not there yet. And still have to deal with these shitty mental sfxs.

[[...]]

Congrats ValleyUm on reaching 1/2 way! Well done!  And Wannabe on your jump

 

Thanks Heathcliff, Anne, Begood  , Valley, and everyone who left encouraging words for me. I send you all the same... Keep going and expect miracles !

 

I am doing ok..... More steady and not so many symptoms . Would definitely like to feel better than this before I start tapering again. But better overall...

 

Hope everyone is hanging in there and may you all have better and better days. 

[[be...]]

Hi everyone, I just read the link below, and I thought it would be good to place here, so we have another view about long holds. I am going to post to buddie, but need to do my chores.

 

                                                                            http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=167680.0

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone, I just read the link below, and I thought it would be good to place here, so we have another view about long holds. I am going to post to buddie, but need to do my chores.

 

                                                                            http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=167680.0

Thanks for the link BG! It definitely shows the power of using long holds.  --V

[[ga...]]

Thanks, BG!

[[He...]]

Does anyone have a suggestion about how I can make family understsndthat a slow taper is JUSTIFIED for benzo withdrawal?

They seem to understand when I explain over and over again, but, they keep comparing benzo withdrawal to heroin and opioids withdrawal .they just don't understand why I dont just push on ahead and get it over with. I inderstand their frustration with how I feel. But I am doing my best.

 

Is there a really good article I can give the,? I have given them information in print before but they just don't get it!

 

Suggestions?

 

Heathcliff

[[fr...]]

  Heath,  I don't think anyone can get it unless they go through it.  My husband is beside himself with worry as to how sick I am.  He keeps pushing for me to see yet another Dr. and I don't have the energy or inclination to hear one more Dr. say oh you can stay on these for life etc. etc. and don't get it.  I hate the way I am, I am a useless lump of what I was and I don't blame them as I know it is so worrying.  If I had to watch my husband go through what I am I wouldn't handle it well either.  He doesn't understand how upsetting it is to hear this from him and when Drs. don't even get it well, you know.  So I am just holding and trying to act as best I can that it isn't as bad as it is when in truth I am in hell right now with so many horribble symptoms and pain.  I pray one day I can feel better but i also am losing hope it it all.  I'm so tired and worn down, I can't even cry in front of them, too upsetting etc.  I hope you feel better soon.  I don't even get windows, just one day will be a little less horrible and then back to completely horrible and barely living.  Bless you and hope all are doing better than I am. 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Heath,

 

I say very little to my husband or family about any of this.  I keep my own counsel.  They would not/could not fathom what we are going thru.  I had 25yrs of misery and torture with the depression and gave up talking about it early on.  I talk to my pdoc - he is paid to listen and was very supportive over the years.  I think that anyone (except the buddies here) would quickly become exhausted hearing  this day in and day out.  After a while I imagine people would simply avoid us, worn out and depressed by unending despair.

[[fr...]]

  I also try to say nothing but when you are couchbound and never go out and everyone has to do everything for you there is no way around trying to hide how bad it is.  If I could be more mobile I would.  The agony of this neuropathy burning is awful and my back is so bad again.  I wish I could hide it.  I don't tell them anything about how hopeless I feel.  I leave that to here also.  Then sometimes someone will say something to you and we all know we can take it to heart so I really don't post much about how bad I am.  Who wants to hear it or read it continually?  I'm so happy for the ones who can go on with a semi normal existence but unfortunately I can't and even on here, there are no answers.  Not for me anyway.  I'm am just trying the best I can and that is all I can do.  Hanging in there with you all. 

[[Va...]]

I try not to discuss the difficulty of withdrawal with family as it's been stated, no one understands unless they've been through it. I did obsess over it in the beginning but learned talking to family was going nowhere. They want to be supportive but say "you look good to me". Unfortunately this is not something visible to others. What many of them don't understand is staying on the drugs is not an option due to the tolerance issue and the side effects which most here have experienced. Some days I will make a comment that I have a terrible headache and feel worn out because at least they understand that.  --V

[[ga...]]

Heath,

 

An article everyone should read. Fantastic investigative journalism.

 

http://www.bendbulletin.com/localstate/2119922-151/benzodiazepines-treat-anxiety-cause-long-term-problems#

 

Gard

[[ba...]]

Does anyone have a suggestion about how I can make family understsndthat a slow taper is JUSTIFIED for benzo withdrawal?

They seem to understand when I explain over and over again, but, they keep comparing benzo withdrawal to heroin and opioids withdrawal .they just don't understand why I dont just push on ahead and get it over with. I inderstand their frustration with how I feel. But I am doing my best.

 

Is there a really good article I can give the,? I have given them information in print before but they just don't get it!

 

Suggestions?

 

Heathcliff

 

I don't discuss it with my grown children or friends. My husband is aware, and he encourages me, but I spend a lot of time alone in my room or on my bike  to deal with the wd. It is hard on family and friends, and as others have said, they can't comprehend the intensity, nor the duration. I have told those who need to know that I am tapering off my medication, it's a difficult process, and I wont be traveling or socializing during this time.

 

As to my spouse, I set aside time just to watch a tv show with him, or take a walk, or cuddle, no matter how I feel, he needs to feel connected. He understands that the intensity of my feelings at any given time will dictate what I can do. I also tell him it's ok to be cross and unhapppy and irritable himself, it's difficult on a spouse, too.

 

I also tell them this is a very long process, as in years, and it will be hard on them as well, but it's worth it, and while going through this, many aspects of my life are changed so I can get through the experience and heal. I just laid it out in simple language. I am doing this, it's ha very long process, and I will be unavailable often, I wont be able to do many things I once did, and I will have to cut myself off from everyone during bad spells until they pass. I still talk to my grown children daily, we generally text, as it is easier on me. I don't discuss my experience, we talk about their kids, science, normal things. That is how I maintain those relationships.

 

Your family might be more accepting if he understood the science behind benzo withrawl:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

https://www.discoveryplace.info/benzo-withdrawal-ultimate-guide-symptom-relief

[[ly...]]

 

BD,

 

I agree with you 100%.  Why would I tell my son about this?  That would only cause him to worry or feel badly.  Why would I want to do that?  I wouldn't.  Same with family and friends.  The very most I would ever say (when I can't do something) is "medication change".

[[Va...]]

Heath,

 

An article everyone should read. Fantastic investigative journalism.

 

http://www.bendbulletin.com/localstate/2119922-151/benzodiazepines-treat-anxiety-cause-long-term-problems#

 

Gard

Great article gard!  The article does a good job of documenting the difficulty of tapering. We are somewhat trapped in that staying on the drug will continue to cause difficulty in functioning and conversely tapering will cause more intense symptoms and interference with daily functioning. I've definitely hit a rough patch. I got down to 10mg without much difficulty and intuitively thought I should hold for a few days. Yesterday I was hit with the worst headache I've ever had since I started. I also felt lethargic and tired. I slept most of the day and night. Must be lag time because I've felt fine until now. I wish there was a perfect taper lol.  --V

[[be...]]

Thanks Gard for the link, I will look later, tired right now. Hope you are doing alright.

 

Valley how many days since your last cut, sounds like it is just catching up,. I now know that in 6 days I will usually feel something with my 14day taper. Hope you feel better.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hey Gard,

 

Thanks for the article.  Isn't that about someone who is here?  A moderator? 

 

V,

 

Sorry about the wd.  Hope you feel better!