The Long Hold Support Group

[[Lo...]]

hope everyone is having a somewhat sx free day. Im.ok just kind of lazy. 

 

Dehy - Same here. Yesterday I left the house THREE times and today I'm a bit drifty... Hard to break inertia.

 

But relative few sx... I soOo want the the "new meh" to NOT be lazy, is very hard to not punish self days I get like this.

 

We will now attempt to visit "The Outside World"

 

 

LC

[[Lo...]]

LC- I’m chewing a piece of nicotine gum as we speak.  Yikes!  First one all day.

 

No way could I make it that long off Nic, bad things happen. My "default level" is pretty high.

 

I have noticed that my blood sugar doesn’t spike so bad with the protein powder but because of my GI issues I can’t have a lot of it. 

Somehow I've managed to "not" get blood sugar stuffs, but I feel ya on the GI. Never had heartburn before "Xan wd" ... So far, when the FIRST thing "down the tube" has some of the P.P., everything seems smoother rest of the day... I'm locked in on Oatmeal, mostly - with a light meal in the evening.

 

I did cut out coffee and have the worst coffee headache 🤕 right now.  I LOVE ❤️ coffee.  I might just have a small cup of it when I get home.  With my almond milk creamer.  I know, but, just a little....

 

Coffee hasn't been problematic, (Nor - oddly - has my Ritalin) but when I committed to stabilize / taper, I've been far more cautious. Like instead of my usual "Navy-type, india-ink", I'm drinking a better Arabica at about 1/2 usual strength - only once in the AM. Then I go to green tea.

 

Suspect much of what "triggers" the Tremors has to do with our "baseline" (what we had to begin with) ... Same for sx, I never had anxiety, but the crying-jag paralysis was beyond "Depression"... It's far less (so far today) than it was...

 

 

LC

[[Tr...]]

Hey everyone, hope today has been good to you guys. I've got a little bit of fear creeping in, not taper related. My 3 month Dr appt is Monday. This is the xanax Dr. Always, without fail I start to get nervous and think he's going to tell me to taper. He's never done this to me and I know it's bc of what my former Dr did that has me on edge. I'm terrified of ever being given a taper schedule again, one that's impossible to do like former Dr wanted me to do. I'm sure this is just PTSD from what happened with former Dr over a year ago and how sick as mother F 'in dog I got from trying to meet his demand. Last time I saw my current Dr we decided to just maintain me. He does not know I'm tapering and I'm not going to tell him so I can hoard as many pills as possible just in case the benzo apocalypse happens. 😲 Lol! Other then this fear it was a good day, very busy.

Trish AKA TT too many T'S Trish🎃

[[Me...]]

Trishy, that was the same fear o had today before my appointment.  That she would tell me to taper on and I read her an actual list of my sxs and I said that yes I want off the V but I just couldn’t continue on a taper right now.  She agreed.  I too have tapering PTSD from when that neurologist I saw after the seizures planned a detox center type of taper and I knew I couldn’t do it so I’m sticking with my psychiatrist who actually RX’d the Klonopin (that I myself without telling her I CT’d) and crossed me over to V.  She follows Ashton method but we are going slower than that.  I went from 10 mg to 5 mg where I am now and where I hit a wall.  So we’re holding and so grateful she is not pushing me.  It’s amazing how that neurologist I went to, knowing I had a Klonopin CT seizures she would want to taper me at a rapid two week speed.  Anyways some Doctors just don’t know how to do this.  Ah well... hang in my fellow warrior!!! 

~meems

[[De...]]

Glad it worked out well meems. That is good she follows the ashton tapet! Mine dont even believe in wd! Most just dont have a clue. Mine is a witch!

[[De...]]

I know lc,

Im feel lazy sleepy snd blah. I cant wsit to be back to.me too. This is so long! 

[Guest [Lo...]]

Trishy, that was the same fear o had today before my appointment.  That she would tell me to taper on and I read her an actual list of my sxs and I said that yes I want off the V but I just couldn’t continue on a taper right now.  She agreed.  I too have tapering PTSD from when that neurologist I saw after the seizures planned a detox center type of taper and I knew I couldn’t do it so I’m sticking with my psychiatrist who actually RX’d the Klonopin (that I myself without telling her I CT’d) and crossed me over to V.  She follows Ashton method but we are going slower than that.  I went from 10 mg to 5 mg where I am now and where I hit a wall.  So we’re holding and so grateful she is not pushing me.  It’s amazing how that neurologist I went to, knowing I had a Klonopin CT seizures she would want to taper me at a rapid two week speed.  Anyways some Doctors just don’t know how to do this.  Ah well... hang in my fellow warrior!!! 

~meems

Good for you for going from 10 to 5!  How was the crossover to Valium?  I heard that can be tough for some.

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, that was the same fear o had today before my appointment.  That she would tell me to taper on and I read her an actual list of my sxs and I said that yes I want off the V but I just couldn’t continue on a taper right now.  She agreed.  I too have tapering PTSD from when that neurologist I saw after the seizures planned a detox center type of taper and I knew I couldn’t do it so I’m sticking with my psychiatrist who actually RX’d the Klonopin (that I myself without telling her I CT’d) and crossed me over to V.  She follows Ashton method but we are going slower than that.  I went from 10 mg to 5 mg where I am now and where I hit a wall.  So we’re holding and so grateful she is not pushing me.  It’s amazing how that neurologist I went to, knowing I had a Klonopin CT seizures she would want to taper me at a rapid two week speed.  Anyways some Doctors just don’t know how to do this.  Ah well... hang in my fellow warrior!!! 

~meems

Hey meems,

I get like this every time a few days before the appt. I wonder if a lot of the bb's feel like this before their appt. It's probably common especially for those of us who have experienced a rapid taper speed and entered the 7th circle of hell while trying. Or like you, poor thing, cold turkey! Omg!!! I need a couple more years or so before I can kiss this poison goodbye. 🤦

[[De...]]

Hi Tt,

I always have that fear. I think it has been because we were so traumatized. I am sure it is going to be fine.  I feel like tgat everytime and it bever happens.  Dont worry. Love dd

[[va...]]

Good night everyone. I don't have time to read but I hope everyone is doing alright. I'll try to catch up when I'm a bit less busy. Please keep going and don't give up anyone 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Tt,

I always have that fear. I think it has been because we were so traumatized. I am sure it is going to be fine.  I feel like tgat everytime and it bever happens.  Dont worry. Love dd

Thanks DD.. I dread it every time 🤦 can't wait to just get it over with.

TT ♥️

[[Tr...]]

Good night everyone. I don't have time to read but I hope everyone is doing alright. I'll try to catch up when I'm a bit less busy. Please keep going and don't give up anyone 

goodnight V 

[[Tr...]]

Hey English where have you been? I think you must be feeling better since you haven't been on. I hope that's the case girl friend. Thinking of you 

[[Ol...]]

Hey everyone, hope today has been good to you guys. I've got a little bit of fear creeping in, not taper related. My 3 month Dr appt is Monday. This is the xanax Dr. Always, without fail I start to get nervous and think he's going to tell me to taper. He's never done this to me and I know it's bc of what my former Dr did that has me on edge. I'm terrified of ever being given a taper schedule again, one that's impossible to do like former Dr wanted me to do. I'm sure this is just PTSD from what happened with former Dr over a year ago and how sick as mother F 'in dog I got from trying to meet his demand. Last time I saw my current Dr we decided to just maintain me. He does not know I'm tapering and I'm not going to tell him so I can hoard as many pills as possible just in case the benzo apocalypse happens. 😲 Lol! Other then this fear it was a good day, very busy.

Trish AKA TT too many T'S Trish🎃

 

Omgosh Trishy I get this EVERY time! Like he's suddenly going to be disappointed in me and make me taper really fast (Like my old Dr did) yes I definitely have PTSD from my old doctor cutting me off, which is why I did some deep deep research and found this doc who would never do that to me. But I am always scared anyway. And then I am scared again when I drop off my prescription, because I have had trouble with Rite Aid, my insurance would only pay for a small amount of Benzos each month and then Rite Aid said it was illegal for them to sell the rest to me as a cash pay. WTF? My Dr had prescribed it! I took my business to another pharmacy and signed up as a cash pay client. I don't even care about insurance paying for it, I need it to be reliable! Anyway all that to say that I have Dr. PTSD and then Pharmacy PTSD, and then I am good for 3 months until my prescription runs out again. And I ask my Dr. to prescribe more than I am actually taking so I can have a little stash in case of apocalypse. I'm sure most of you can relate.

Love to all!

 

[[Lo...]]

Trishy, that was the same fear o had today before my appointment.  That she would tell me to taper on and I read her an actual list of my sxs and I said that yes I want off the V but I just couldn’t continue on a taper right now.  She agreed. 

 

YAYYY Good Dr. Glad it went well Meems

 

[[Fi...]]

Hey everyone, hope today has been good to you guys. I've got a little bit of fear creeping in, not taper related. My 3 month Dr appt is Monday. This is the xanax Dr. Always, without fail I start to get nervous and think he's going to tell me to taper. He's never done this to me and I know it's bc of what my former Dr did that has me on edge. I'm terrified of ever being given a taper schedule again, one that's impossible to do like former Dr wanted me to do. I'm sure this is just PTSD from what happened with former Dr over a year ago and how sick as mother F 'in dog I got from trying to meet his demand. Last time I saw my current Dr we decided to just maintain me. He does not know I'm tapering and I'm not going to tell him so I can hoard as many pills as possible just in case the benzo apocalypse happens. 😲 Lol! Other then this fear it was a good day, very busy.

Trish AKA TT too many T'S Trish🎃

 

Omgosh Trishy I get this EVERY time! Like he's suddenly going to be disappointed in me and make me taper really fast (Like my old Dr did) yes I definitely have PTSD from my old doctor cutting me off, which is why I did some deep deep research and found this doc who would never do that to me. But I am always scared anyway. And then I am scared again when I drop off my prescription, because I have had trouble with Rite Aid, my insurance would only pay for a small amount of Benzos each month and then Rite Aid said it was illegal for them to sell the rest to me as a cash pay. WTF? My Dr had prescribed it! I took my business to another pharmacy and signed up as a cash pay client. I don't even care about insurance paying for it, I need it to be reliable! Anyway all that to say that I have Dr. PTSD and then Pharmacy PTSD, and then I am good for 3 months until my prescription runs out again. And I ask my Dr. to prescribe more than I am actually taking so I can have a little stash in case of apocalypse. I'm sure most of you can relate.

Love to all!

 

I'm hoarding as much as I can.  My doctor is allowing me guide the taper but I worry in case she walks away from her practice or anything else my benzo mind can imagine. 

 

Its terrible what everyone has to go through to get what they need.  I'm too sick to advocate much now but I will in the future.

[[Me...]]

Lookinup, sorry I don’t know how to do quotes from my phone.  The crossover from Klonopin to Valium (10mg) was not hard.  It only got hard when I hit 6mg.  It took me 5 months to go from 6mg to 5mg and even that might have been to fast.  Because I’m at 5mg and not fully stable.  Been at 5mg since August.  This is a f-in nightmare. 

Lotsa love,

~meems

[[Ol...]]

Final- Yes, we do worry about things like our Dr's leaving the practice and apocalypse. Can't wait to be free of this ball and chain!

 

Lookinup- I crossed over from K to V and did not have any problem with it. V made me a bot more sleepy at higher doses but other than that it felt similar to me. And I didn't mind sleeping more, less time to be in benzo hell. 

 

[[De...]]

I have dr ptsd too. It has spread to all drs now. My trust is gone. I am going to start hoarding too. I really csnt believe we have to l7ve in fear of drs. It is crazy!

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

I haven't caught up but l do see my twin and lady Mary have posted woohoo 🎊🎉🎆. Well twiny are you feeling any better honey? Have to say l wouldn't be cutting anymore for a few more weeks.Yes we all feel somewhat detached when in withdrawal.I see you are worrying about the doctor's appointment well l believe you will be ok.Try not to overthink it my lovely.We all have our stories about doctors and thankfully l have no dealings with them where my taper is concerned.Stay strong my lovely and l am so glad you are back.love you my lST.X

. Morning lady Mary l am delighted to see a few posts from you.l really hope this pain eases off honey and l believe you need a very long hold.l know you are holding for 3 months however you are changing over to liquid which is having an effect like everything does.Let us know how you are doing honey.l am worried about you.love you my lady Mary Hen.X

.GP, Suzy, Janice, Feeling, Meems, Look, Intend , Olive, Gilly,Bill Free Valley l really hope everyone is doing ok and l will hopefully catch up with everyone.Hang in there my friends.love to all.X

[[Lo...]]

I'm lovin'  this group. I hope your days go good.

 

MY Doc is later this afternoon - "fear"??  So to be sure "taper" was Do-Able - I stopped @ my Phramacist yesterday...

 

Told him what's going on, & I'd heard I can't just "wean off" in a few weeks, and asked will .5's be a probl..? He interruptied: "Like white on rice" - Briefly hit all the "Key Points" probably left out 'cross over' cause I'm not there yet... ending with it's vital to make smaller cuts at end... (DAMMIT) Maybe he's done this before? More will be revealed.

 

ISYN - it seemed the young Pharmacist knew 'Ashtons' from the inside out

SMH! It's not "plain luck" - surely there's lesser Pharmacist's out there, but if where you "shop" seems impatient, or doesn't have time? Take your business down the street... Find a Pharma that's invested in communicating & being available for you...

 

Hope this helps others... 

LC

[[De...]]

Thanks lc,

Thst is reslly good advice. Mine pharmacists look at me dumbfounded.  I gave up. I will go somewere else. If I talk about is with my phychs they look at ke like im crazy. And! They always say have you been online.  I need t9 stop talkimg about it and move on with my life. That happened st my last appt. It is still in my headblike maybe this isnt happening and it is something else. It cant be. I never felt lile this befote and the way i feel doesnt fit witj anything. I have impro ved since i came to bb. Sorry im tambling very anxious and dont know why. Ugh. Im runnimg into the store.  Hopefully my nerves will settle. This is rediculous 

[[Gu...]]

Oh good grief.  Yesterday I went to pet store, not gone for more than an hour.  When I came home Reba ate my daily pill reminder.  Some pills were on the floor and I was due to restock the week.

 

I have another AM pill reminder for my Synthroid.  That was ok.  But I ended up taking 2 doses of thyroid meds. Don’t know what that means for me today. 

 

Off for my dogwalk.

[[Fi...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Having an incredibly tough day today.  Extremely depressed and very sad. 

 

I'm so discouraged right now that I will ever get off this horrible medication.  The side effects make me depressed and lethargic and the withdrawal makes me depressed and scared.

 

I made a small cut on Saturday and it's been really tough some then. 

[[Gu...]]

I’m sorry to hear that FH, you’ve had such a tough struggle.  I don’t think I would know how to handle the mental sxs but you are doing a fine job of it.  Look at that bunny go.  You know it’s a slow process and you are showing such courage.