The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

MIYU, I have the terrible weakness in my legs too MIYU. It is NOT really pain. Just so so weak and wobbly.  I was told to keep  walking as much as possible to keep my muscles strong.

I was afraid I was going to collapse on three occasions  but I didn't. Actually , muscle weakness is a common wdfx in withdrawal. Ive had it, and it still comes and goes, in my low back, neck, buttocks, thighs. Right now it's only in my legs and neck. It seems to travel around. Sometimes it stays for a few days, but sometimes, like now it is hanging around in my neck and legs for a good long time. I hate it!

Fir wobbly legs though, I think the fear is the worst part of it. I have had this, they call it JELLY LEGS, for at least three weeks now. I wish it would go away.

I have been told that sometimes when you make just the slightest cut, some troublesome wdfx  disappear. But I can not make a cut right now because I am in a hold that seems to be working very well.

 

So I am just hanging in right now. But I sure can relate to how you feel. For me, the fear makes it worse. So I am trying to remember that it IS a wdfx and it WILL go away, in time.

 

I hope your "jelly legs" go away fast and don't last long. Everyone is different, but at least you know it is nothing more than a wdfx.

 

You have been hit with so many different wdfx. I hope they ease up soon and you won't have to struggle so much.

Hang in there. It will get better.

 

And IMO  don't give up on your hold. I didn't see real improvement until a good 7 weeks. I am at two months now, but I am still going to hold another month at least.

 

Peace and healing to you MiYu

Heath

[[ga...]]

Thanks, V, BG. I am holding 2 weeks before I liquefy another. Not sure after that. I'm really in chicken mode.

[[Va...]]

Getting worse the last few days on this hold... Day 13 since 1/4 mg V cut. Today I have difficulty breathing and hard to stand and walk..... Scary ..... Encouraging words anyone  :'(

Thank you

Weak jelly legs are pretty common. Catching your breath sometimes is also hard. It will pass.  --V

[[...]]

Thank you heathcliff and Valley , I feel so weak it really bothers me. I get hot stress sweats too when I move around s that doesn't help matters. Hoping it will pass by tomorrow ...I still don't like holding at this early point in my taper but I don't feel it would be a good choice to make another cut 

[[Sh...]]

Shamo my guess is that most of your prevailing sxs will resolve around the 6 month mark. That seems to be the common theme. Hope it's sooner though.  --V

 

Vallyum I will aim for the 6 month mark. The more I read, the more Im starting to believe that it's more around the 1 year mark people stabilise and their sfxs disappear. Hopefully its a lot sooner for me though and this all ends in the next couple of months.

 

By the way...I tried L Tryptophan for the first time yesterday. Wow! What an improvement. It kind of felt like id drank 2 red bulls with the energy and mood lift it gave me. Apart from the heart palpa and bad sfx you get from too much caffeine. I went straight to the gym and did a big workout. I felt better than I have in a long time. It helps convert chemicals in your brain to seratonin. Only downside was I think it kept me awake longer than usual. But its hard to tell cause my sleeping pattern is screwed anyway atm.

[[Ex...]]

My period came early and I noticed before I started all of my symptoms came back for a moment. Ugh! When does this end. Right when I started feeling better, I'm hit with an early period and symptoms. 

[[He...]]

Hello, just popping in to say hello. Hasn't been much activity for two or so days. I hope that means everyone is doing ok? I hope so!

I'm doing ok. Had a bad wave today of hard to catch my breath while walking and very wobbly. Scary, but it passed in two hours. Funny(not really funny!) how those bad waves jusrpt pop in when you least expect them. I'm lad the only last -an hour or two! Then back  to a pretty good day.  I've been pretty good for the past four -5 days except for those short waves. Of course the neck is still a problem.

I am still  holding because I definitely am seeing progress and better days. Hope it lasts. I am past the two month time now...but not ready to cut...not at all! Not stable yet.

 

Hope everyone is still doing well in tapers and holds and side effects are minimal.

 

Here's to all my buddies! 

Heathcliff

[[Va...]]

Hello, just popping in to say hello. Hasn't been much activity for two or so days. I hope that means everyone is doing ok? I hope so!

I'm doing ok. Had a bad wave today of hard to catch my breath while walking and very wobbly. Scary, but it passed in two hours. Funny(not really funny!) how those bad waves jusrpt pop in when you least expect them. I'm lad the only last -an hour or two! Then back  to a pretty good day.  I've been pretty good for the past four -5 days except for those short waves. Of course the neck is still a problem.

I am still  holding because I definitely am seeing progress and better days. Hope it lasts. I am past the two month time now...but not ready to cut...not at all! Not stable yet.

 

Hope everyone is still doing well in tapers and holds and side effects are minimal.

 

Here's to all my buddies! 

Heathcliff

Hi Heath. Glad the hold is working so well for you! The thread does have some slower times but we're always reading. I'll probably be holding again as soon as I hit the half way mark in a few days. Hope your neck pain clears up soon!  --V

[[ga...]]

Dang neuropathy just won't let up, but it's usually tolerable enough that I get the housework done. Going to dissolve another capsule soon. Need three dissolved to move forward.

 

Gard

[[...]]

Dang neuropathy just won't let up, but it's usually tolerable enough that I get the housework done. Going to dissolve another capsule soon. Need three dissolved to move forward.

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard , hope you are doing ok.... What is Q? I just wanted to know what it is you are tapering 

[[Va...]]

Dang neuropathy just won't let up, but it's usually tolerable enough that I get the housework done. Going to dissolve another capsule soon. Need three dissolved to move forward.

 

Gard

Hi gard. I hate the neuropathy. I had it before the benzos. It's just worse with the taper. I'm also having pain start to migrate to my left side. The problem with his whole mess is trying to understand what is real and what is temporary from benzo withdrawal. I have a progressive spinal condition but have no idea which sxs are which and probably won't until this stupid taper is over lol. Just had to rant a bit. It's good to get that off my chest.  --V

[[He...]]

SHAMO

 

That's interesting whet you said about the tryptophan. I thought tryptophan was to help sleep. But it could be in a different dose, Or I. Ould be absolutely mistaken.

I'm glad it works for you.

 

 

MIYU,

 

I hope you wont be discouraged.

My hold didnt start to really work until honestly 6-7 weeks.

 

And  also , I dont want you to think I am in a bed of roses! Because I am NOT!

 

I am much better than when I started this hold. It is definitely working, however, dont think it's a Miracle cure for wdfx ! I still get waves here and there but they are short lived, I still have weak jelly legs , but now they come and go, sleep is better, but I still have about a day a week when I can't sleep. My neck pain is still there and lower back pain comes and goes.

 

So, yes! I know how you feel!

 

I am s so so much better, but I am still on a rollercoaster, but the ride is definitely less bumpy. Hills and valleys are smaller. I am able to go out with friends for short periods. But I still can not make plans for even the next day. I have to wAit until I wake up to See how I feel and how I think my day will be.

 

I believe that this  HOLD needs to be held longer. I know it will still get better, but I also know that bad times will pop in. I am not completely stable yet.

 

It is sooo hard to hold. I want to cut just maybe .01 or .02.  But I know it may mess up the whole thing. So I am holding at least another month and then re-evaluate how  I feel. ( I am wanting to cut, but I am also afraid of a cut. I want to hold, but I am afraid of wasting time! And I don't want to go back to the way I fest even three or four weeks ago when I was so sick with wdfx I mainly had to just lay on the sofa and watch tv.

 

Yes I look forward to tapering again, but I am also scared to death that my horrible side effects will return with even a tiny cut and hold.

 

So here I hold.

You have to do what you think is best for you. Am I  positive that a hold will work for you? No, I don't know!

Am I positive that this hold will make my wdfx much more manageable when I start to taper again? No, I don't know!

I don't know anything for sure. But I have to give it a shot, because so far, it is working. And if there is a slow way to getvof this drug with less pain, I am surely going to give it it's due chance.

 

From what I have read on this forum, everyone who holds has doubts along the way. It's because, the healing is not linear and at any given moment, things can window or things can wave.

What a horrible place these benzos have put us in.

 

So we have to be strong and hang in there. Be tough,  be kind to yourself. Be brave. You can do it.

If I had a dollar for every time I questioned what I was doing, I'd be a rich lady!

 

Take good care MIYU! You are a good person! You deserve the best!

 

heathcliff

[[He...]]

Valley UM,

What's the half way mark, you mean from 20mg to 10 mg?

Wow that's great! Good luck. Hope it goes  really smooth and less than a blip. :

 

Also I know what you mean about neuropathy.

I don't have neuropathy but I do have arthritis in my spine and spinal stenosis.

Neurologist does not THINK MY NECK Pain  IS FROM MY CERVICAL spinal condition BUT DID NOT REPEAT AN MRI. Last one I had was sept 2015. He thinks it's the benzo  withdrawal that is causing the weak muscle and therefore pain. But if it gets worse, he wants to see me again. I guess no one will know for sure unless I have another MRI or scan or something. So right now I am wAiting to see what happens.. I can't imagine wAiting to be off the benzos to finally have another MRI!.

We shall see what happens. Mean while, the neck collar is my best friend,

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Valley UM,

What's the half way mark, you mean from 20mg to 10 mg?

Wow that's great! Good luck. Hope it goes  really smooth and less than a blip.

 

Heath

Hi Heath. Yes. I'll be at 10mg from 20. It will have taken 10 months to cut half. I think I would actually be down further if I hadn't destabilised so bad and had to wait to get back to baseline. Tapering has definitely been easier since the hold. I do have some days that are so so but other days are almost perfect. I had planned a hold at 10mg but I might just keep cutting as the rate seems to be about right. I'll be halfway in 4 days! --V

[[Sh...]]

You're on pace with me Vally. It took me 9-10 months to get off 10mg. And same thing, it would have been quicker had I not tried some things along the way like a MT and starting and stopping an SSRI. But how are we to know things without trying? I've always been one to learn a lesson the hard way

[[ly...]]

 

 

Shamo,

 

I read of your problems with depression and wanted to comment.  I am very, very familiar with that particular torture and can tell you, in my experience, depression is far worse than any physical sxs that are/have been thrown my way.

 

Hold strong and know that this will go away.  :smitten:

[[Va...]]

You're on pace with me Vally. It took me 9-10 months to get off 10mg. And same thing, it would have been quicker had I not tried some things along the way like a MT and starting and stopping an SSRI. But how are we to know things without trying? I've always been one to learn a lesson the hard way

The sad thing is I'm figuring on another 2 years although I'll take it if I can keep most sxs at bay. So far so good. Im hoping to evade the acute stage but who knows with these drugs lol.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Lyn...couldn't agree more. Ive dealt with chronic pain for 2 years a while back. That was tough. But nothing compared to chemical mental sfxs.

 

Vally...2 more years?? So youre gonna take it real slow and steady? Fair enough mate. What ever you need to do. Youve got more inner patience than me though. I was so friggen done after my 9 month taper. I probly would have cold turkeyd anymore i had left haha.

[[Va...]]

Lyn...couldn't agree more. Ive dealt with chronic pain for 2 years a while back. That was tough. But nothing compared to chemical mental sfxs.

 

Vally...2 more years?? So youre gonna take it real slow and steady? Fair enough mate. What ever you need to do. Youve got more inner patience than me though. I was so friggen done after my 9 month taper. I probly would have cold turkeyd anymore i had left haha.

Patience is very difficult. The thought of cold turkey crosses my mind once in a while and I have to push it back out and remember the nasty start to my taper. I want to get it over with but have to recertify this year and keep contracting for schools. Last year I almost didn't make it to the end of the school year. I don't even remember the last 2 months lol. All I remember is sitting in meetings drenched in sweat and trying to be coherent when speaking.  It was a disaster in the making. Luckily I crawled across the finish line and had the summer to regroup. Hope your current symptoms pass soon!  --V

[[be...]]

Hey Valley, I think you are doing well on your taper, do not be swayed by going faster than you want, I have found that yes we can have a plan, but it sometimes has to be fine tuned and sometimes when we remember what it was like before, as I can attest to, it leaves no doubt in my mind about following my plan. I am wondering why we are being affected with the Neuro sensations, is it just because that part of our Brain is trying to heal, so far I am fine right now. Blips, but disconcerting for sure.

 

Hi Lynn glad to see you here, I have not visited for a while and I thought I would drop in. Have a wonderful day My Friend.

 

Hi Heath, I still read, but I do not always post, so don't feel like no one is around, sometimes I am doing other things also, I think you are doing very well and stay your course and breathe and just be Heath.

 

Hi Gard, and MiYu, thinking of you both, Stay Strong. Regards [glow=red,2,300]"THE TURTLE".[/glow] 

[[ga...]]

Dang neuropathy just won't let up, but it's usually tolerable enough that I get the housework done. Going to dissolve another capsule soon. Need three dissolved to move forward.

 

Gard

Hi gard. I hate the neuropathy. I had it before the benzos. It's just worse with the taper. I'm also having pain start to migrate to my left side. The problem with his whole mess is trying to understand what is real and what is temporary from benzo withdrawal. I have a progressive spinal condition but have no idea which sxs are which and probably won't until this stupid taper is over lol. Just had to rant a bit. It's good to get that off my chest.  --V

 

Exactly! I have an autoimmune condition that can use neuropathy. I hate not knowing if I did something to trigger my immune system or if it's from the taper and should slow it down. Grrr!    Thanks for the "rant," BTW. Good to know someone understands. My doctor sure doesn't!

[[ga...]]

 

Hi Gard, and MiYu, thinking of you both, Stay Strong. Regards [glow=red,2,300]"THE TURTLE".[/glow]

 

Hi Turtle. We can do this!

 

Hugs!

the Chicken-Turtle

[[He...]]

Glad to see you both here, Lynne and Begood.

 

Hope you both continue to have good days and easy tapers.

 

GARD ..so sorry to hear your neuropathy is still plaguing you. I agree it is a real pain, pun intended, but I also agree, it's better than the depression. I hope ALL your wdfx ease up soon.

 

MIYU...How are  things going?  I'm thinking about you and hope you are having easier days.

 

Heathcliff

[[ga...]]

Hi Heath. Today has been better than the whole past week (so far). Hoping this is a trend! Hope you are doing better, too!

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley, I think you are doing well on your taper, do not be swayed by going faster than you want, I have found that yes we can have a plan, but it sometimes has to be fine tuned and sometimes when we remember what it was like before, as I can attest to, it leaves no doubt in my mind about following my plan. I am wondering why we are being affected with the Neuro sensations, is it just because that part of our Brain is trying to heal, so far I am fine right now. Blips, but disconcerting for sure.

 

Hi Lynn glad to see you here, I have not visited for a while and I thought I would drop in. Have a wonderful day My Friend.

 

Hi Heath, I still read, but I do not always post, so don't feel like no one is around, sometimes I am doing other things also, I think you are doing very well and stay your course and breathe and just be Heath.

 

Hi Gard, and MiYu, thinking of you both, Stay Strong. Regards [glow=red,2,300]"THE TURTLE".[/glow]

Definitely Staying the course with the turtle route BG. I still have PTSD from the beginning of my taper. I'm not going there again if I can help it!  --V