The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Morning Twin, I hope you enjoyed the company of your nephew's yesterday and I hope you at least served some butter or jam with those stale crackers, you're too funny! 😂😂

 

I haven't seen Bill around I hope I haven't scared him off. I think he knows by now we do a lot of kidding around here.

 

I may be disappearing from here myself. Honestly Stut I don't think anyone would notice! Lol but that's ok I think I can do this now with minimal support. While I love everyone here and always will I just don't feel a part of the group anymore. Maybe this is wd talking but I've been feeling like this for a long time. Oh well anyway I hope you have a great weekend and go get some food in that house woman! 😁

 

Love you much!

LST❤️

 

[[St...]]

Morning Twin, I hope you enjoyed the company of your nephew's yesterday and I hope you at least served some butter or jam with those stale crackers, you're too funny! 😂😂

 

I haven't seen Bill around I hope I haven't scared him off. I think he knows by now we do a lot of kidding around here.

 

I may be disappearing from here myself. Honestly Stut I don't think anyone would notice! Lol but that's ok I think I can do this now with minimal support. While I love everyone here and always will I just don't feel a part of the group anymore. Maybe this is wd talking but I've been feeling like this for a long time. Oh well anyway I hope you have a great weekend and go get some food in that house woman! 😁

 

Love you much!

LST❤️

  Awe twiny l have just read this l have to say you are wrong honey.l for one would miss you my lovely.l can't see anything that would have made you feel this way so l imagine it's withdrawal.Give yourself time honey.Listen l have at times more than l would like to admit have seriously considered leaving not just this group but the forum.l probably will do that but not now l care for everyone here and l like to see how everyone is doing.

  Now think about this my lovely yes you certainly can do this on your own however it is also good to have that little bit of support to keep us grounded.

  I also want to remind you your contract won't be finished for several years so this isn't an option 🎆. Right l just wanted to say this and now l am away to do a bit of shopping.No crackers left 😭. Have a good weekend honey and l hope you reconsider and l see posts from you when I come back.

Love you my lST X 😘

[[AZ...]]

Morning Twin, I hope you enjoyed the company of your nephew's yesterday and I hope you at least served some butter or jam with those stale crackers, you're too funny! 😂😂

 

I haven't seen Bill around I hope I haven't scared him off. I think he knows by now we do a lot of kidding around here.

 

I may be disappearing from here myself. Honestly Stut I don't think anyone would notice! Lol but that's ok I think I can do this now with minimal support. While I love everyone here and always will I just don't feel a part of the group anymore. Maybe this is wd talking but I've been feeling like this for a long time. Oh well anyway I hope you have a great weekend and go get some food in that house woman! 😁

 

Love you much!

LST❤️

 

Trishy, I’m still around, but quite busy at work nowadays.  As I feel more and more and more able, I seem to get busier and do more.  I feel like I am still gradually stabilizing from last January as I slowly taper, so overall things continue to go well.  Mornings are still the worst time, a little depression, but even they are improving.

 

I agree with Stut, you are a part of the group and I think it’s important to have this group for support as you taper down.  Never know how things will be until you’re off.  I hope you don’t disappear.  Seems like there are more new members on here and that makes it seem different, but you’re still a part of this.  Plus I’ve got to get my apple pie!

 

Mary I know you’re not feeling well, but hang in there on the liquid.  You will eventually stabilize.

 

Love you all

Bill

[[va...]]

Olive kitty, if you read this : I was reading your signature and I see that since you've resumed your taper you've chosen quite a fat tapering speed. I'm in no way questioning your decision, but I just wanted to know what made you decide to go with this taper peace instead of the 10% a month. I hope you don't mind the question. I assume your symptoms are allowing this speed and I'm so happy for you. I hope to be in your shoes one day.

[[De...]]

Aww tt,

No we all love you! You are a very important part of the group. I ferl that way too. I think its hard because some ppl dont ferl well enough to keep up. I have alot of days like that. Also, some are in windows some are in waves so none iif us feel the same at tge same time.we need you here. You too stut. I am so glad the bius is letting up. I look forward to your post every morning. You have helped me so much. I think bb can be a fouble edge sword. Sometimes it can be very triggering. I guess we have to limit our time. It really is tough to revover online for sure. Love yoy both very much and yoy both are an.inportant part of the group. Now im thinking im not like im invidible eomen

See we all do. 

 

 

 

[[De...]]

Mmmm,

I hope you are feeling better. You just rest and let yourself heal. I am always worried about you. I know you are going to be ok and heal. You also have the best husband in the world! We are here if you need us. Love u ufo mary..dd

Oh i love that. My favorite post ever a classic 

[[Me...]]

Hey all, haven’t been on here for a bit.  Trying to catch up and as I read posts my heart is falling sad that some of us are in such pain.  Our path is all at different places but the one thing we have in common is we are healing from this bullshit poison.  I still don’t know you guys much and I’m new but you have no idea how much I rely on this forum.  Really from my heart I do.  My path right is so F’d up. I’m in a wave big time.  My diet has been bad.  Just trying to eat what I have.  Food shopping is a nightmare.  Taking a shower is so hard.  I had chicken nuggets last night with ranch dressing and had MSG.  Plus some lemonade that had fake sugar substitute but it was so flavorable and cool. Anyways I know you guys know the deal.  Someone, I think it was Mary, who was talking about diet, sugar and vitamin D.  I truly believe proper nutrition like protein and veggies and no caffeine and sugar is helpful.  Also personally I don’t smoke but chew the nicotine gum.  Anyways I can go on and on.  I’m all over the place.  Didn’t sleep well.  Woke up in cold sweat.  Dry heaving.  Much love to you guys and big healing hugs.  We are truly warriors. 

~meems

[[Fi...]]

Trishy and Stut,

 

I hope you both stay till you get off the medication. You both contribute so much and you also have the right to take a break.

 

I know sometimes I need a break because I spend too much time on on the site.  I come here for support and I suppose I'm still looking for the secret answer to off when I know the secret is how we are all doing it now. 

[[es...]]

Trishy, you aren’t going anywhere. Mary and I know where you live. Espy

[[Va...]]

I hope you all are doing well. I will try to catch up in a few days. It is the end of the month deadline time and it takes all of my time.  —V

[[va...]]

Hey all, haven’t been on here for a bit.  Trying to catch up and as I read posts my heart is falling sad that some of us are in such pain.  Our path is all at different places but the one thing we have in common is we are healing from this bullshit poison.  I still don’t know you guys much and I’m new but you have no idea how much I rely on this forum.  Really from my heart I do.  My path right is so F’d up. I’m in a wave big time.  My diet has been bad.  Just trying to eat what I have.  Food shopping is a nightmare.  Taking a shower is so hard.  I had chicken nuggets last night with ranch dressing and had MSG.  Plus some lemonade that had fake sugar substitute but it was so flavorable and cool. Anyways I know you guys know the deal.  Someone, I think it was Mary, who was talking about diet, sugar and vitamin D.  I truly believe proper nutrition like protein and veggies and no caffeine and sugar is helpful.  Also personally I don’t smoke but chew the nicotine gum.  Anyways I can go on and on.  I’m all over the place.  Didn’t sleep well.  Woke up in cold sweat.  Dry heaving.  Much love to you guys and big healing hugs.  We are truly warriors. 

~meems

 

Meems, from last June to end July I was in acute wd and sleeping ZERO TO TWO hours a night. Two hours was a good night. Once a week I got a five hour night. I decided to updose and hold indefinitely. You're sleeping something so probably you just need to hold. For most people a hold will improve things, but think months, not weeks. I'm telling you this because it took three months for me not to have DP/DR 24/7. I still have too many symptoms to resume my taper but I'm much better and so will you be if you take the same dose consistently for enough time. There are exceptions but most people benefit from holding. I sure did, although back in summer, most of the time I was absolutely sure I'd never get better. I try not to obsess too much about food but I try to cook and eat as natural as possible. But I really don't obsess with that either. The only absolute prohibitions for me are alcohol and caffeine. I do drink decaf coffee and I know it has some caffeine but I still drink it. I'm a kamikaze I know.

[[De...]]

Haha...a kamikaze!!! I am to. I really need to elimate caffeine. All i ask is i get my.two cups in the morning. 

[[va...]]

Haha...a kamikaze!!! I am to. I really need to elimate caffeine. All i ask is i get my.two cups in the morning. 

 

Suzy do you take decaf? Please take decaf dear one, we're too sick for the real stuff ATM 

[[De...]]

Ok i will. I can really feel it revving  me up. Im going to do it. Sugar too. No more chocolate. It is such  a comfort food. 

[[va...]]

Ok i will. I can really feel it revving  me up. Im going to do it. Sugar too. No more chocolate. It is such  a comfort food. 

 

Suzy I have ONE little square of dark chocolate 75% cocoa chocolate a day. Sometimes I have something sweet like cereal or a croissant. But please no coffee. My psychiatrist said absolutely no coffee but because fear /anxiety is my worst symptom. Maybe your case is different? That one ounce of chocolate doesn't hurt me, at least I don't think so. But it's minimum 75% cocoa, optimally more, up to 80%.

[[Ol...]]

Morning Twin, I hope you enjoyed the company of your nephew's yesterday and I hope you at least served some butter or jam with those stale crackers, you're too funny! 😂😂

 

I haven't seen Bill around I hope I haven't scared him off. I think he knows by now we do a lot of kidding around here.

 

I may be disappearing from here myself. Honestly Stut I don't think anyone would notice! Lol but that's ok I think I can do this now with minimal support. While I love everyone here and always will I just don't feel a part of the group anymore. Maybe this is wd talking but I've been feeling like this for a long time. Oh well anyway I hope you have a great weekend and go get some food in that house woman! 😁

 

Love you much!

LST❤️

 

Hi Trishy I really felt your last message, I know it is just w/d because from my perspective everyone on here loves you so much and appreciates your fun attitude and definitely your pies. I think we can all feel a little bit like an outsider on BB and it seems like everyone else is so connected but really we are all feeling the same. I was a part of this group 2 years ago and then I took a year and a half BB break and when I came back I did not feel like I belonged anymore but jumped in anyway.. it's kind of awkward but I know everyone here is here for the same reason.. to get support and support others. You are a valued part of this team!

 

Stut- I am in constant awe of your ability to keep everyone in your thoughts and messages, and your individual care for everyone. Have a wonderful time off with your daughter, I hope you are both feeling better.

 

Mary- I'm so sorry you are going through it, I hope you can get stabilized on this liquid since that is what you want. I you have to go back to pills that's ok too.

 

VNM - Yes, this last bit of taper is going pretty quickly because I have not felt any w/d symptoms since I did my year and a half hold at 2mg. I am wary, but I feel like I could just stop taking it all together and I would be fine. However I am not pressing my luck! I am going to go down by .25V every 7-30 days depending on how I feel and what is going on in my life. And of course I am open to longer holds if need be.

 

Suzy- Yes coffee is the devil for me! I used to love it so much.. but when I went into w/d I cut out all stimulants including chocolate and sugar  :'( :'( Someday I hope to incorporate coffee back in but for now it is just not worth it. I have started eating sugar again, I know it is bad but it is so gooooood. Just a little. I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

 

Meems- I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch  :'( I wonder if the nicotine gum could be messing with your stomach? I quit smoking mid taper and I immediately felt so much better. Then I started vaping just to get the nicotine, I did that for almost 2 years... I quit that about a month and a half ago and I have noticed a drastic change in how I feel. I feel so much better without nicotine! 'Withdrawal' is nothing compared to benzos! 

 

Much love to Valley, Final, Espy, Bill, Guinea Pig, and anyone else I forgot on here. 

[[va...]]

Olive kitty thanks for sharing. You make me want to hold even more than I initially planned to.

[[De...]]

Thank Janice,

Anxiety fear and trembling and muscle pain are my worst.  So caffeine is bad news for me too. I will yry the chocolate as a treat. I dont eat alot of sweets. Its only when i freak out i want the chocolate.

[[Ol...]]

Olive kitty thanks for sharing. You make me want to hold even more than I initially planned to.

 

It was a vary rough year and a half and I was never sure I was doing the right thing, and everyone close to me thought I should just 'rip the bandaid off' (HATE that) but I held my ground and kept holding until I eventually felt better. And I was hoping beyond hope that this last bit of taper would be easier.. and so far it has! You know your body, don't let anyone pressure you into tapering too fast! They don't understand.

[[va...]]

Thank Janice,

Anxiety fear and trembling and muscle pain are my worst.  So caffeine is bad news for me too. I will yry the chocolate as a treat. I dont eat alot of sweets. Its only when i freak out i want the chocolate.

 

Suzy dear switch to decaf please! It really makes a difference. I think you'll have less fear and anxiety. I'm terrified of coffee, and I've always been a coffee addict but you get used to decaf because the fear hurts worse.

[[va...]]

Olive kitty thanks for sharing. You make me want to hold even more than I initially planned to.

 

It was a vary rough year and a half and I was never sure I was doing the right thing, and everyone close to me thought I should just 'rip the bandaid off' (HATE that) but I held my ground and kept holding until I eventually felt better. And I was hoping beyond hope that this last bit of taper would be easier.. and so far it has! You know your body, don't let anyone pressure you into tapering too fast! They don't understand.

 

Thank you Olive kitty 

[[De...]]

Thanks Olivekitty,

You are right. Coffee is the devil. I can feel it right away. I am going to pick up decaf. I will probably just have a cup in the morning. This is so hard. I feel like my diet is so blah. I font eat junk food. Every once in a while but then i ferl guilt sick snd fat. I know us as women we always think we are fat.  Lol. I wish I had ny own personnal chef that cooked ne healthy meals. It is hard for me to cook now. It depends on the day. Congrats on your taper. It sounds like your in s good place. I think you should take the rest of it slow just to be safe. 

[[Me...]]

Olive Kitty, thank you.  You are so full of love and consideration for all.  Yes I think nicotine gum can be messing me up.  And def coffee.  Stress doesn’t help either.  Just got to current real quick - got a cat who just had radioactive iodine treatment for her hyperthyroidism and she also has kidney disease so I have to give her subcutaneous fluids.  I have done it twice now.  So my mom helps me to make sure the fluid in the bag is going down to its ml level (talk about measuring liquid) and she freaked on me about me the placement of the needle and then the cat moved and the needle came out and she scurried away and I got so mad.  My anxiety level went through the roof.  And what comes to mind is “damn a Valium or Xanax would be nice”. I screamed at her cause my emotions are through the roof cause of withdrawal.  But living without benzo’s is the goal.  No matter what.  So I turned on my pink Himalayan salt lamp, got the lights turned down, got the World Series baseball game on (sound low) for distraction and just gonna make it through another day.  Oh and BREATHE! 

Much love to you all. 

~Meems. 

[[Ol...]]

Oh Meems that is stressful! I had to give my cat subcutaneous liquids in the past and it was horrible. I'm so sorry! Good on you for getting out the salt lamp etc..

I am watching the World Series too.. I'm not really into sports but my mom and I like to watch baseball together.. it reminds me of growing up.

[[va...]]

Meems, I answered your post a few posts back in case you haven't seen it and you want to check. I hope your cat gets better and you will be slowly improving with the hold as most people usually do.

 

Stutt, o think you're not checking in today and that's great, that you spend life with your daughter. I'm sorry your taper is so hard and that you always have difficult symptoms. Let's hope you hold enough before the next cut so that you can minimize the wd when you jump? I'm sure you'll know what's the right thing for you. I'm really hoping the virus is leaving you by now. Sending all my love to the doggies, as I know you love them back. I hope they're responding to the treatment.