The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Thanks Heathcliff! I just pop in every so often to check on everyone, and if you folks bring up something I feel I can help with, or something I am experiencing (like the 2-4 pm drop) I will chime in. I study neuro chemistry as I am inclined, the more knowledge, the more I can rationilize and not be overwhelmed by the withdraw experience.

 

I am going to read the entire section on

HOW BENZOS CAUSE HPA AXIS DYSREGULATIONonhttp://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44373.0

 

I am getting into a rythm with my wd. Anxiety and panic mornings, alleviated by extensive exercise, fubar afternoons, and being a complete air head in the evening, but not really caring. Just laughing at how much I cant remember what someone said 5 minutes ago. Sleep, well, hit and miss, sometimes not much, but I am getting more 4-6 hour periods than I did 2 months ago.

 

I still get waves of intense anxiety or depression, but have learned to hold on, they will pass.

 

I am no longer experimenting with dose 2 (the dreaded afternoon time) just did it a while back to see if the xanax had anything to do with it, it did not seem to. I literally tried all kinds of things: holding off on my exercise until the afternoon (I would fall off my bike, vomit, or get the drunken sailor) fasting, eating an apple and peanut butter for protein and good blood sugar, everything. Nothing changed it. This were all experiments to detemine if I could do anything to alleviate this intense period, nothing changed it.

 

I care about you all, and have a bit more taper time under my belt, so am not so desperate or freaked out as I was a few months ago.

 

One interesting thing, another source from the UK advocates at least 3 weeks holding before a cut. http://cepuk.org/withdrawal-advisers/

 

I have learned my body needs 5/6 weeks to adjust, that's just me. Just dropped my dose 2 weeks ago, and based on experience , I anticipate that having waited 6 weeks, it wont hit with such an extreme kick back.

 

I suppose I am just a bit more experienced, have learned to read my cns and symptoms, and am accepting that  this is just what life feels like when tapering. I now know from experience, that the bad hours, and bad days will settle. I didn't know that when I started this journey. It makes a huge difference.

 

When I saw you folks posting about the afternoon shit storm, I had to jump in, I really thought I was the only one. More studying coming up!( some say it's circadian, some say it's adrenal, some say hormone, it's probably all of them and about 28 other things, as complex as our nervous systems are.)

 

Hang on everyone, we are all so strong, so motivated, and have come along, even if we started out foolishly (as I did.)

 

I have been studying this excellent paper on glutamine and gaba balancing, just throwing this out here. As a result, I am changing to a modified paleo diet to decrease nutrition stress, it is helping.I just started the new nutritional regime however, it will take time to se if it helps. I don't eat meat, so each meal has an egg, some homemade peanut butter, or nuts, so I get protein, and fruit for blood sugar, veggies for other nutrients. Was shocked to see some very common foods I think we all consume are antagonists (like tomatoes, walnuts, broccoli, and others, have cut them from my diet.)

 

http://www.holistichelp.net/blog/how-to-increase-gaba-and-balance-glutamate/

 

My best to all of you.

 

Baddove, thanks for chiming in on the afternoon symtoms crazies. I read also that in Chinese medicine 3 pm ish is brain time, something in the system that is happening to do with brain around that time of day. Could explain something ?

Let us know if you find anything of interest .

MIYu

[[Va...]]

HI everyone , I ve been out of the loop for a few days, week maybe. I reached a point where psychologically I couldn't hold anymore. I think I held about a month and definitely felt some stabilization , but not great or even very functional , but a bit better. But I felt like I had to do something, which I think was a good move for me  at this point.i was making myself crazy worrying about not tapering!

So I started my daily microtaper again (dry cutting with scale). Today is day 7 and symptoms definitely worsening , feel stressed and burning back , walking , talking difficult , but I do feel the hold helped me to taper a bit more.

Tonight I feel I have to hold again now.... I guess I almost made it to 1/4 mg cut! Two more .001 gm cuts and I would have. But don't want to get any worse than this.

I wasn't doing great on the hold , and actually some of my brain fog and DP have lifted with cutting again. It's the burning and stress that it is horrible, I don't leave the house anyway in general , but still it's good when symptoms are a little less.

So , I had hoped to get down 1/2 mg but I don't think it'll happen. 

Not sure how long to hold......I know no one can really answer this , but it seems like we have to make choices daily!

Valleyum , what is your strategy now? I see you said something  about your holds working .... But not sure which you were referring to?

Heathcliff , glad you feel resolved for now to hold longer !

Thank you! 

Hi Miyu. So glad you got some relief from holding. I held for a loooong time and was able to stabilise. I then started out cautiously by cutting for 5 days and holding. I then moved it to 10'days and held for a few days each time. I'm now cutting daily and have pretty close to no symptoms at all. I am cutting slowly but it seems to be working and my dose is going down even if it will take a couple of years at this rate. I refuse to go back to revisit the beginning my taper and tape too fast. In fact, my taper is not interfering with my life at all now. The patience to hold is difficult but well worth it IMO.  --V

[[Va...]]

Holy mackerel, V. Your collection is almost a novella! 

LOL. I had to quit adding to it as it takes a few hours to read through especially with benzo brain. 

[[He...]]

HELLO BUDDIES!

 

Well, what do you know!

 

I had a good day today.

Woke up with a bit of trembles but they went away. And they did not come back all day! No sickish feeling. Today was almost one big window. I didn't even get the wave that usually comes at about 3 or 4 0clock!

I even drove pretty far to the auto store to get a hubcap that I had lost on my car.

 

Didn't sleep too well last night and my neck and back still bother me and my legs are still weak and wobbly (still wearing neck collat) but I cant be too greedy. My day was not perfect, but I'm certainly happy with my day.  ( I'm going to neurosurgeon next week to check my neck and back just to be sure it is not my spine that is causing my pain and that it is indeed benzo withdrawal)

 

Hold hold hold. Just have to keep that in my mind. And have to remember that healing is not linear so I don't get tempted to cut when the going gets rough and I am tempted to do ANYTHING to just get off the Valium.

 

Hope tomorrow is a good day too.

 

Thanks buddies, for your help. 

 

 

MiYu,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time still. The same thing happened to me when I cut after a 6 or 7  week hold. I was feeling a lot better so I started to microcut .001 for 5 days. Boy did  I hit a wall! And then I messed up my dose so I cut again -.08 to correct it... boy did I get into hell!

 

When I went back and took a good look at my journal and made a spreadsheet, I realized that if I cut again now, I'd be doing the same thing I did back then, because again I am at 6 1/2 weeks.

That's why I decided to give the hold a better chance of working. And not just feeling better, but really feeling stable fir a few weeks. I will probably hold a good three or four months if this hold proves to work, or even longer. V gives me good advice and so do the other buddies, but foolishly I don't always listen.

I hope I learned from my previous mistakes and don't repeat them!

 

I hope you get over your recent bump in the road very quickly. Perhaps a longer hold will get you to a better place? I know everyone is different, and you have to do whatever you feel is the correct way for you, but if my foolish mistakes can help you, I'm glad of that!  Holding would be a piece of cake if we didn't have to do nothing and just wait and watch the days slip by. Seems like nothing is happening! But we have to remember...things ARE happening. Our brains are healing. And that takes time. CERTAINLY EASIER SAID THAN DONE!l

 

Best to you. MiYu  and  everyone else for a good day tomorrow. Aha..it's my hubby's birthday!

 

Heath

 

[[Va...]]

HELLO BUDDIES!

 

Well, what do you know!

 

I had a good day today.

Woke up with a bit of trembles but they went away. And they did not come back all day! No sickish feeling. Today was almost one big window. I didn't even get the wave that usually comes at about 3 or 4 0clock!

I even drove pretty far to the auto store to get a hubcap that I had lost on my car.

 

Didn't sleep too well last night and my neck and back still bother me and my legs are still weak and wobbly (still wearing neck collat) but I cant be too greedy. My day was not perfect, but I'm certainly happy with my day.  ( I'm going to neurosurgeon next week to check my neck and back just to be sure it is not my spine that is causing my pain and that it is indeed benzo withdrawal)

 

Hold hold hold. Just have to keep that in my mind. And have to remember that healing is not linear so I don't get tempted to cut when the going gets rough and I am tempted to do ANYTHING to just get off the Valium.

 

Hope tomorrow is a good day too.

 

Thanks buddies, for your help. 

 

 

MiYu,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time still. The same thing happened to me when I cut after a 6 or 7  week hold. I was feeling a lot better so I started to microcut .001 for 5 days. Boy did  I hit a wall! And then I messed up my dose so I cut again -.08 to correct it... boy did I get into hell!

 

When I went back and took a good look at my journal and made a spreadsheet, I realized that if I cut again now, I'd be doing the same thing I did back then, because again I am at 6 1/2 weeks.

That's why I decided to give the hold a better chance of working. And not just feeling better, but really feeling stable fir a few weeks. I will probably hold a good three or four months if this hold proves to work, or even longer. V gives me good advice and so do the other buddies, but foolishly I don't always listen.

I hope I learned from my previous mistakes and don't repeat them!

 

I hope you get over your recent bump in the road very quickly. Perhaps a longer hold will get you to a better place? I know everyone is different, and you have to do whatever you feel is the correct way for you, but if my foolish mistakes can help you, I'm glad of that!  Holding would be a piece of cake if we didn't have to do nothing and just wait and watch the days slip by. Seems like nothing is happening! But we have to remember...things ARE happening. Our brains are healing. And that takes time. CERTAINLY EASIER SAID THAN DONE!l

 

Best to you. MiYu  and  everyone else for a good day tomorrow. Aha..it's my hubby's birthday!

 

Heath

That's great Heath!  Fingers crossed that every day is a window! --V

[[ba...]]

Not comprehensive on the afternoon episodes from hel, but did find this. l don't think it's the complete picture for us, but many people not in wd experience an afternoon slump. Will continue adding information as I come across it.

 

I am thinking we should all eat an apple around 1:00, they are great for low blood sugar without being too sugary, just see if it helps at all.

 

https://www.thebalance.com/reactive-hypoglycemia-or-afternoon-slump-3514762

[[He...]]

ValleyUm,

 

Thanks for the good wishes that hopefully everyday will be a window from now on.

No such luck!  Shaking and trembling as of 9.00 am. Of course insomnia makes it worse too.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm hanging in.

 

Not funny how I can be so positive and hopeful when I'm feeling good and so hopeless when things go bad the very next day. What a rollercoaster

 

Heath

[[...]]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Heathcliff , very happy you had a window! Yeah !

ValleyUm, when you had your WD hell in February before your long hold , what kind of symtoms did you have? Were you disabled like I am?

I'm still afraid to hold in case my GABA receptors get even more down regulated and my WD becomes more of a ordeal. I don't think my month hold was enough to really find out....

I guess m going to have to try it .....valley .... Do you know others in this orum who have success with long holds? I've read the propaganda thank you! Are those quotes taken from this support group? 

[[Va...]]

Not comprehensive on the afternoon episodes from hel, but did find this. l don't think it's the complete picture for us, but many people not in wd experience an afternoon slump. Will continue adding information as I come across it.

 

I am thinking we should all eat an apple around 1:00, they are great for low blood sugar without being too sugary, just see if it helps at all.

 

https://www.thebalance.com/reactive-hypoglycemia-or-afternoon-slump-3514762

Not saying this is exactly what is happening to us in withdrawal but doesn't  it all sound so familiar?

 

https://adrenalfatiguesolution.com/cortisol-levels-change-throughout-day/

 

--V

[[...]]

ValleyUm,

 

Thanks for the good wishes that hopefully everyday will be a window from now on.

No such luck!  Shaking and trembling as of 9.00 am. Of course insomnia makes it worse too.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm hanging in.

 

Heath

 

Damn! So sorry , frustrating... Did you overdo it with your husbands bday do you think? 

[[Va...]]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Heathcliff , very happy you had a window! Yeah !

ValleyUm, when you had your WD hell in February before your long hold , what kind of symtoms did you have? Were you disabled like I am?

I'm still afraid to hold in case my GABA receptors get even more down regulated and my WD becomes more of a ordeal. I don't think my month hold was enough to really find out....

I guess m going to have to try it .....valley .... Do you know others in this orum who have success with long holds? I've read the propaganda thank you! Are those quotes taken from this support group? 

Hi Miyu. I had just about every symptom there was. I was close to being bed bound but had to forge ahead with my job. At least it was flexible as I'm an independent contractor. I'll try to find the post I made a while back listing  all the sxs. There are many who benefited from a long hold on BB. This thread has quite a few and we've read many others who have never posted here. Some of them never got into bad shape from tapering as long holds were regularly incorporated during the taper. The quote list has some from BB and some from  other sources. I would research holding while I was holding to keep me from giving up on it. It requires a lot of patience because the sxs are so non linear. If you are having windows it it's a very good sign the hold is working. The problem is you may not get a window for a few months. With that being said, there are some who don't seem to improve during a hold. I would say there are more who do than do not but only if they hold long enough. Holding is a strategy to use during tapering just like updosing, microtapering, etc. We all use these tools to help with the tapering process although some find certain tools are not effective. I believe there see so many variables at play such as polydrugging, outside stressors, individual biochemistry, life circumstances, etc. that all play a part in personal tapering experiences. Some may have difficulty just due to circumstances beyond their control. Sorry for the long response lol. I get carried away sometimes. Hang in there!

 

I wrote this at four months into my hold regarding sxs I had experienced:

 

List of sxs experienced during this 4 month hold:

Electric shocks in legs, feet and hands

Severe sweating (anybody have a portable dryer handy?

Muscle and nerve pain in shoulders, neck, feet, legs and back

Excessive DP/DR

Extreme fatigue

Terrible depression and suicidal ideation

Vertigo

Muscle fasciculations

Frequent urination

Anhedonia

Apathy

Activity intolerance

Insomnia

Tinnitus

Blurry vision with floaters

Hands shaking

Feeling like I live in a dream world

--V

[[He...]]

V,

 

In your opinion, or do you know, if gabba receptors keep getting more and more down regulated when you hold?  I see MiYu mentioned that she was afraid that would happen. Is that a possibility? Scary thought!

 

Heath

 

 

[[He...]]

MiYu,

Ha ha, no I didn't over due my husbands birthday! I wish I was in better shape so I could!

 

I hope you find a way to taper that finds you relief of symptoms as you cut.

 

It is so difficult. Yesterday was great for me but today is not.

Maybe a window is yet to come today, for both of us.

I know it's the end of the day for you in UK, but I am in USA so it is just before noon. So I hope your evening and tomorrow will be good for you.

 

Your question to V about gabba receptors down regulating during a hold, got me concerned. So I asked him the same question, it's a scary thought and I hope it isn't so.

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

MiYu,

Ha ha, no I didn't over due my husbands birthday! I wish I was in better shape so I could!

 

I hope you find a way to taper that finds you relief of symptoms as you cut.

 

It is so difficult. Yesterday was great for me but today is not.

Maybe a window is yet to come today, for both of us.

I know it's the end of the day for you in UK, but I am in USA so it is just before noon. So I hope your evening and tomorrow will be good for you.

 

Your question to V about gabba receptors down regulating during a hold, got me concerned. So I asked him the same question, it's a scary thought and I hope it isn't so.

 

Heath

Hi Heath and Miyu. I don't believe that our gaba receptors get down regulated any more than they already are during a hold. If we follow the logic we're holding because we cut too fast for the CNS to keep up and that's why we have such severe sxs. The hold is allowing the brain and body to catch back up. We sometimes end up in the same shape as a rapid taper or ct without having come off the drug. That's why it may take some time for stabilisation to occur. It took me the full 6 months to stabilise. I believe this would play into those who have concerns about tolerance. My personal opinion is tolerance is not an issue once a taper has started. After the taper starts, it becomes more about how you tolerate the symptoms of the taper rather than the side effects of the drug no longer being effective anymore. Hope that helps.  --V

[[He...]]

ValleyUm,

Yes it does make sense.

Thanks,

Heath

[[...]]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Heathcliff , very happy you had a window! Yeah !

ValleyUm, when you had your WD hell in February before your long hold , what kind of symtoms did you have? Were you disabled like I am?

I'm still afraid to hold in case my GABA receptors get even more down regulated and my WD becomes more of a ordeal. I don't think my month hold was enough to really find out....

I guess m going to have to try it .....valley .... Do you know others in this orum who have success with long holds? I've read the propaganda thank you! Are those quotes taken from this support group? 

Hi Miyu. I had just about every symptom there was. I was close to being bed bound but had to forge ahead with my job. At least it was flexible as I'm an independent contractor. I'll try to find the post I made a while back listing  all the sxs. There are many who benefited from a long hold on BB. This thread has quite a few and we've read many others who have never posted here. Some of them never got into bad shape from tapering as long holds were regularly incorporated during the taper. The quote list has some from BB and some from  other sources. I would research holding while I was holding to keep me from giving up on it. It requires a lot of patience because the sxs are so non linear. If you are having windows it it's a very good sign the hold is working. The problem is you may not get a window for a few months. With that being said, there are some who don't seem to improve during a hold. I would say there are more who do than do not but only if they hold long enough. Holding is a strategy to use during tapering just like updosing, microtapering, etc. We all use these tools to help with the tapering process although some find certain tools are not effective. I believe there see so many variables at play such as polydrugging, outside stressors, individual biochemistry, life circumstances, etc. that all play a part in personal tapering experiences. Some may have difficulty just due to circumstances beyond their control. Sorry for the long response lol. I get carried away sometimes. Hang in there!

 

I wrote this at four months into my hold regarding sxs I had experienced:

 

List of sxs experienced during this 4 month hold:

Electric shocks in legs, feet and hands

Severe sweating (anybody have a portable dryer handy?

Muscle and nerve pain in shoulders, neck, feet, legs and back

Excessive DP/DR

Extreme fatigue

Terrible depression and suicidal ideation

Vertigo

Muscle fasciculations

Frequent urination

Anhedonia

Apathy

Activity intolerance

Insomnia

Tinnitus

Blurry vision with floaters

Hands shaking

Feeling like I live in a dream world

--V

 

Wow, ValleyUm, thank you for that . And for taking the time to write and find your symtoms list. Your responses are always welcome no matter the length!

You have a way of being very reassuring . It's so too bad we can't predict what will happen, however , I have felt that the holds I've done , even if short , some only a week have been absolutely necessary . So if I have the courage I will hold longer this time. Your explanation about GABA receptors not down regulating further does make sense... If we increased the dose they might ?

I have to keep reading what you write because it does make sense to me, and I really do believ that going too fast will end up being a horrid situation coming off, hence the acute and prolonged healing that some people go through .

Thank you again, I'm glad you are here helping us all! 

[[Va...]]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Heathcliff , very happy you had a window! Yeah !

ValleyUm, when you had your WD hell in February before your long hold , what kind of symtoms did you have? Were you disabled like I am?

I'm still afraid to hold in case my GABA receptors get even more down regulated and my WD becomes more of a ordeal. I don't think my month hold was enough to really find out....

I guess m going to have to try it .....valley .... Do you know others in this orum who have success with long holds? I've read the propaganda thank you! Are those quotes taken from this support group? 

Hi Miyu. I had just about every symptom there was. I was close to being bed bound but had to forge ahead with my job. At least it was flexible as I'm an independent contractor. I'll try to find the post I made a while back listing  all the sxs. There are many who benefited from a long hold on BB. This thread has quite a few and we've read many others who have never posted here. Some of them never got into bad shape from tapering as long holds were regularly incorporated during the taper. The quote list has some from BB and some from  other sources. I would research holding while I was holding to keep me from giving up on it. It requires a lot of patience because the sxs are so non linear. If you are having windows it it's a very good sign the hold is working. The problem is you may not get a window for a few months. With that being said, there are some who don't seem to improve during a hold. I would say there are more who do than do not but only if they hold long enough. Holding is a strategy to use during tapering just like updosing, microtapering, etc. We all use these tools to help with the tapering process although some find certain tools are not effective. I believe there see so many variables at play such as polydrugging, outside stressors, individual biochemistry, life circumstances, etc. that all play a part in personal tapering experiences. Some may have difficulty just due to circumstances beyond their control. Sorry for the long response lol. I get carried away sometimes. Hang in there!

 

I wrote this at four months into my hold regarding sxs I had experienced:

 

List of sxs experienced during this 4 month hold:

Electric shocks in legs, feet and hands

Severe sweating (anybody have a portable dryer handy?

Muscle and nerve pain in shoulders, neck, feet, legs and back

Excessive DP/DR

Extreme fatigue

Terrible depression and suicidal ideation

Vertigo

Muscle fasciculations

Frequent urination

Anhedonia

Apathy

Activity intolerance

Insomnia

Tinnitus

Blurry vision with floaters

Hands shaking

Feeling like I live in a dream world

--V

 

Wow, ValleyUm, thank you for that . And for taking the time to write and find your symtoms list. Your responses are always welcome no matter the length!

You have a way of being very reassuring . It's so too bad we can't predict what will happen, however , I have felt that the holds I've done , even if short , some only a week have been absolutely necessary . So if I have the courage I will hold longer this time. Your explanation about GABA receptors not down regulating further does make sense... If we increased the dose they might ?

I have to keep reading what you write because it does make sense to me, and I really do believ that going too fast will end up being a horrid situation coming off, hence the acute and prolonged healing that some people go through .

Thank you again, I'm glad you are here helping us all!  :

Glad I can be of help. I wish I had all the answers. This process is so unpredictable and makes no sense sometimes. I just know we'll all get through it and hopefully walk off completely healed.    --V

[[ba...]]

Morning friends. I have some questions, and some concerns. First, just the nuts and bolts, so you know where I am at:

 

Current dosing:

3 equal doses of about 1.4 mg of xanax every 6 hours, then a bedtime dose of 1 Mg. (4 doses a day) Total is just about 5.5 mg. This is a cut from about 6 mg. I have been dosing at 6 hours for a while, it took me a long time, and I had to minute my way up there over about 2 months. Worked my way from 4 hour dosing, to5 hours to , to 5,5, and now 6 hours. My objective was to go from 5 doses a day to 4, this accomplished that. Increased the dose to keep the total med count from plunging. And that wait is HARD. But, I am willing to put myself through it, because for me it is the most effective way to taper.

 

I increased these doses a bit to compensate for the lower quantity of dose 4, so as not to reduce too much.

 

I am 2 hours into my first dose. At this point, I start getting panic attacks. They will go where they want. Lately, I feel like I don't know what I am doing, and I am just making a mess. That is my current thought that the panic attaches too. The idea that my panic wraps around is irrelevent, they simply hit at 2 hours into dose 1. I usually stat to exercise around hour 3 of this dose, and that can go on for a few hours (bike riding) It does get me through it. Winter is coming fast here, so I am moving to indoor exercise, and staying busy.

 

Dose 2 is the worst of the day. I feel the 2-4 pm shit fest, and experience a great deal of sxs and anxiety through it. I usually try and stay active as a distraction. Even before tapering, this was always the worst period, from noon to around 5 pm of my day.

 

Dose 3 is usually better, and I tend to red or watch tv, or other quiet activities.

 

I am too sleepy to wait the full 6 hours for dose 4, but hold out as long as I can, I try to make it to at least 5 hours, but 4 is more common. This is the reduced dose, I actually find I sleep better with the smaller amount at night since starting this. I take 150 mg of seroquel with this dose. I usually wake up after a few hours, but am able to go back to sleep. Mostly, just determination.

 

I have 2 scales, they both don't work properly. I have sent them back numerous times. I think it could be my high altitude, who knows, they simply do not work effectively, and I found that eyeballing has worked better. I have been in increased sxs since making this cut, and don't have the patience to spend 2 hours fighting with the scales anymore.

 

I am really feeling the drop that comes with a cut. Mostly, I am afraid that I am doing everything wrong, and am never going to feel better, and am stuck. The method of reducing the dose by micro tapering the dose did not work well for me, I found that stretching the doses did, just my own weird physiology. However, with a stretch, I needed to bump up the dosage a bit.

 

I really wish I had a knowledable medical practitioner to guide me, but I don't. My physician has chosen to let me figure this out on my own, he admits he is not a big fan of me tapering, and not very qualified at tapering advice.

 

Am I doing it ok? Is this going to work? Am I going to be able to get off the xanax. Mostly, I'm afraid that I am just putting myself through agony for nothing, and nothing will ever change.

 

I am ok with waiting 6 hours between doses, and a smaller evening dose, but is this tapering, or just making a mess. I worked so hard to accomplish this stretch, and I don't want to back track it. However, it's not how Ashton or other guides lay out a taper program. They present gradual dose reduction by cutting each dose. I, instead have lengthened dose time, but in the end, it is still a reduction in xanax quantity.

 

Be gentle with me, I am in the panic place. And, I am afraid that I am not accomplishing anything, that it's all stupid and wrong.

I am panicking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Va...]]

Morning friends. I have some questions, and some concerns. First, just the nuts and bolts, so you know where I am at:

 

Current dosing:

3 equal doses of about 1.4 mg of xanax every 6 hours, then a bedtime dose of 1 Mg. (4 doses a day) Total is just about 5.5 mg. This is a cut from about 6 mg. I have been dosing at 6 hours for a while, it took me a long time, and I had to minute my way up there over about 2 months. Worked my way from 4 hour dosing, to5 hours to , to 5,5, and now 6 hours. My objective was to go from 5 doses a day to 4, this accomplished that. Increased the dose to keep the total med count from plunging. And that wait is HARD. But, I am willing to put myself through it, because for me it is the most effective way to taper.

 

I increased these doses a bit to compensate for the lower quantity of dose 4, so as not to reduce too much.

 

I am 2 hours into my first dose. At this point, I start getting panic attacks. They will go where they want. Lately, I feel like I don't know what I am doing, and I am just making a mess. That is my current thought that the panic attaches too. The idea that my panic wraps around is irrelevent, they simply hit at 2 hours into dose 1. I usually stat to exercise around hour 3 of this dose, and that can go on for a few hours (bike riding) It does get me through it. Winter is coming fast here, so I am moving to indoor exercise, and staying busy.

 

Dose 2 is the worst of the day. I feel the 2-4 pm shit fest, and experience a great deal of sxs and anxiety through it. I usually try and stay active as a distraction. Even before tapering, this was always the worst period, from noon to around 5 pm of my day.

 

Dose 3 is usually better, and I tend to red or watch tv, or other quiet activities.

 

I am too sleepy to wait the full 6 hours for dose 4, but hold out as long as I can, I try to make it to at least 5 hours, but 4 is more common. This is the reduced dose, I actually find I sleep better with the smaller amount at night since starting this. I take 150 mg of seroquel with this dose. I usually wake up after a few hours, but am able to go back to sleep. Mostly, just determination.

 

I have 2 scales, they both don't work properly. I have sent them back numerous times. I think it could be my high altitude, who knows, they simply do not work effectively, and I found that eyeballing has worked better. I have been in increased sxs since making this cut, and don't have the patience to spend 2 hours fighting with the scales anymore.

 

I am really feeling the drop that comes with a cut. Mostly, I am afraid that I am doing everything wrong, and am never going to feel better, and am stuck. The method of reducing the dose by micro tapering the dose did not work well for me, I found that stretching the doses did, just my own weird physiology. However, with a stretch, I needed to bump up the dosage a bit.

 

I really wish I had a knowledable medical practitioner to guide me, but I don't. My physician has chosen to let me figure this out on my own, he admits he is not a big fan of me tapering, and not very qualified at tapering advice.

 

Am I doing it ok? Is this going to work? Am I going to be able to get off the xanax. Mostly, I'm afraid that I am just putting myself through agony for nothing, and nothing will ever change.

 

I am ok with waiting 6 hours between doses, and a smaller evening dose, but is this tapering, or just making a mess. I worked so hard to accomplish this stretch, and I don't want to back track it. However, it's not how Ashton or other guides lay out a taper program. They present gradual dose reduction by cutting each dose. I, instead have lengthened dose time, but in the end, it is still a reduction in xanax quantity.

 

Be gentle with me, I am in the panic place. And, I am afraid that I am not accomplishing anything, that it's all stupid and wrong.

I am panicking.

Hi BD. I think what you're doing is fine. I'm actually tapering only my morning dose and plan on eliminating it so somewhat similar to what you're doing. As far as giving you advice, I think lynn and others on Xanax would be able to guide you. I do know that by changing the dosing, it may be felt as if you actually made a cut and your body will need to adjust (which it will). It will just take a little time to get used to the change. Try not to panic and do what you can to distract like you are doing and you'll be fine.  --V

[[ba...]]

TY TY TY!!!!!!

 

I am working on eliminating dose 4, but slowly, thank goodness I am not the only one. If I completely cut it out, it would be too much of a drop, hence, the slightly larger first 3 doses, and reduced bed dose. I didn't know if this was a good way to taper. Thank you, that I am not the only one. I am actually sleeping better with the smaller bedtime dose, the days are just harder to get through.

 

I know I am feeling the reduction (increased wd) , even though I like it (a much smaller bed dose.) From experience, I know it takes me at least 6 weeks to adjust, and my new modus operandi is wait until it settles, then cut again. I am just shy of 3 weeks into this cut.

 

Just panicked that I am doing the taper wrong. Panic is panic. It's attached to this right now.  Looking forward to others input.

[[...]]

Baddove, im sorry you feel panicky and awful. I don't have any experience to offer you on this I'm afraid . Just hang in there... Sounds like ValleyUm confirmed for you that this is a way you can taper. Just go slow as you are doing. You are lucky you can get out and bike ride! I can't exercise.

 

I'm having a day from hell myself . I microtapered not quite a 1/4 mg Valium this last week, and it's hitting me really hard today. All those feelings that I'll never get through this at this rate and am I going to have to suffer like hell forever with this drug And tapering and never heal.

All the crazy fearful thoughts that can come with benzo WD .

I hope for you , for me and everyone here that we can find our way to some ease through this process. I held for a month prior to this last attempt at tapering and thought I was ready , I'm going to hold for longer this next time and hope it helps. Can't go through too many days like this one....

Hang in there.....

[[He...]]

Hello all.  Good news in the up and down roller coaster!

 

Today I woke up and got  the shakes and back ache within the first hour . But I decided to push through it because family were coming over. I had to get the house in order and I had to distract myself.

So I vacuumed the rugs and cleaned the floors. Made some soup. Set the table. I was pooped!

 

Then about 4:00 0 clock  I felt better.

 

At about 5:00 I felt "normal" !  I couldn't believe it! It would have been good to be  able to just get rid of the shakes But  to actually feel NORMAL, like I wasn't even in a taper, like I was really back to my old self before the Valium debackle! Was I dreaming? What a gift from god! It was incredible!

 

Of course I might feel like crap again tomorrow. What a letdown that will be!

 

But what a great surprise and what an encouraging event this is. Im still in this state if normalcy.  Don't want to go to sleep because my mornings are quite bad and I never know what tomorrow will bring.

But i have to go to sleep!

So here's to tomorrow morning. Maybe it will be good!

 

And here's to a good tomorrow for MIYU and BADDOVE  who I know are suffering.  May your better days be just around the corner. 

 

I'm still holding,  45 days so far, and it seems to be working. Even though I have my ups and downs and they make me crazy.

 

Heath

 

[[an...]]

Hello all.  Good news in the up and down roller coaster!

 

Today I woke up and got  the shakes and back ache within the first hour . But I decided to push through it because family were coming over. I had to get the house in order and I had to distract myself.

So I vacuumed the rugs and cleaned the floors. Made some soup. Set the table. I was pooped!

 

Then about 4:00 0 clock  I felt better.

 

At about 5:00 I felt "normal" !  I couldn't believe it! It would have been good to be  able to just get rid of the shakes But  to actually feel NORMAL, like I wasn't even in a taper, like I was really back to my old self before the Valium debackle! Was I dreaming? What a gift from god! It was incredible!

 

Of course I might feel like crap again tomorrow. What a letdown that will be!

 

But what a great surprise and what an encouraging event this is. Im still in this state if normalcy.  Don't want to go to sleep because my mornings are quite bad and I never know what tomorrow will bring.

But i have to go to sleep!

So here's to tomorrow morning. Maybe it will be good!

 

And here's to a good tomorrow for MIYU and BADDOVE  who I know are suffering.  May your better days be just around the corner. 

 

I'm still holding,  45 days so far, and it seems to be working. Even though I have my ups and downs and they make me crazy.

 

Heath

 

Hi Heath,

 

So glad to hear you had a window.  That "normal" feeling is wonderful, isn't it?  Makes you wonder why people want to get high when feeling normal is so incredible.

 

Enjoy,

Anne   

[[ga...]]

Hello, Gang. All chicken-me did was dissolve one capsule and in less than 24 hours my symptoms ramped up again. Could this happen this fast from just dissolving one capsule? I will say that these capsules are very tough things. I tried dropping one in water-nothing. In vinegar-nothing. In vodka-nothing. So when I dissolve, I have to carefully open each little capsule and dump the powder into the jar. I wonder if it hitting my stomach as a liquid instead of as a hard-to-dissolve capsule makes a difference. Or is stomach acid so strong it doesn't matter what the capsule is?

 

Gard

[[be...]]

Heath, such good news, isn't wonderful to get a glimpse of [glow=red,2,300]"NORMAL"[/glow], hold on to it and remember that when times get tough, you will succeed, just keep as busy as you can and distract, distract, and just go with your plan.

 

Gard, I am not sure about Librium but when I started my lig taper the first day and for about 6-7days out I had bad nausea, and I finally stopped for a week, then I restarted, your case is different, but I felt it the first time also and I was in no way thinking it would not work, I was gung ho, and then whoa it hit, so I am sure others will chime in, but I would not give up on it right away. I tried to continue, but it was bad, but then after a week it was fine. Best to you.