The Long Hold Support Group

[[li...]]

And Please--has there been anytime when it's been better?  Maybe the doctor could introduce back in a little bit of ativan to see if you're brain is still looking for it. I've not done this myself so I have no idea if it would help but since these symptoms began with ativan withdrawal it may appease your brain. No idea--just trying to offer some help and hope. You are loved!

[[li...]]

Please--are you doing anything that could be detoxing you accidentally?  Are you using green drinks that detox the body or anything like that?  It may sound like the right thing to do but not when you're on a med that needs to stay stable in your system.  When you started the klonopin things weren't this bad correct?  Not saying it a great med but maybe it is rushing through your system because this also sounds like withdrawal as much as it sounds like paradoxical.

[[Pl...]]

Liza and free thank you my angels.......

 

I was wondering if I missed a dose if I would feel better.... An experiment.... I always feel better BEFORE my dose.... so much better...

 

The drug half way works... It keeps certain things at bay from the ativan  injury but seems 100 percent paradoxical in other ways ....so intolerable inhumane suffering... :'( I am afraid to ever use ativan again.... If I knew I could taper off of it and it would work I would do anything to get rid of these symptoms.....but severely terrified....

 

All the stuff in my face is so severe I look maimed....and severely painful... I'm convinced I have severe td.... Alot of the time when I try to talk I have to fight my mouth from moving in other directions.....sometimes my whole face will start moving on its own.. It's everywhere on my face.... I am in pure hell...

 

 

And yes... I've been getting foot detox baths just with salt and an electric current that runs thru the water with essential oils rubbed into the feet.... and drinking chlorophyll .. Once a week only for 3 weeks now.... It oxygenates the cells... It's the stuff that is in green plants..... along with reflexology and I always feel so much better.....day and a half later it will last..... It reverses my energy and the adrenaline surges will stop...  maybe I should just do the reflexology... My symptoms actually calm down.... Maybe the other stuff is hurting me...... The foot detox and chlorophyll...

 

I feel like I'm going crazy and I will never have a life again..... Or ill be dead from all the stress...

 

What other meds could I take to not have a seizure? I'm afraid of everything....and hypersensitive...

It doesn't look like I could taper from kolonopin.... I don't know.... I don't know whether to keep holding or not....can you just cold turkey and take an anti seizure med without consequences from the ct?  If the drug is hurting more then helping what is the point?

 

What would happen if I missed a full day of doses for one day? As an experiment... I feel so trapped... I know my doctor is not going to know what to do....

 

The dose of k is too high..... That's a big part of what is killing me too....

 

Whenever I take the drug i feel extremely disoriented... Bad nightmares.... Nothing in the dreams make sense...it takes hours for me to get out of the fog just to take the dose again.....torture

 

I did notice since holding my inner vibrations have been fluctuating along with the outside body tremors... But other stuff ramps up...

 

I feel despair and hopelessness.....

 

I'm so terrified.... I love you guys for being here.... I don't want to die from this and be incapacitated .... I feel such incredible despair and panic..

[[ly...]]

 

 

Please,

 

There are many effective anti-seizure meds. I take lamictal (as a mood stabilizer and antidepressant) but it is an anti-seizure med.  I don't know if something like that would be appropriate for you or if a c/t would help you ().  Hopefully your doctor can think of something - updose, added med, anything.  How do they treat TD?

[[Va...]]

Liza and free thank you my angels.......

 

I was wondering if I missed a dose if I would feel better.... An experiment.... I always feel better BEFORE my dose.... so much better...

 

The drug half way works... It keeps certain things at bay from the ativan  injury but seems 100 percent paradoxical in other ways ....so intolerable inhumane suffering... :'( I am afraid to ever use ativan again.... If I knew I could taper off of it and it would work I would do anything to get rid of these symptoms.....but severely terrified....

 

All the stuff in my face is so severe I look maimed....and severely painful... I'm convinced I have severe td.... Alot of the time when I try to talk I have to fight my mouth from moving in other directions.....sometimes my whole face will start moving on its own.. It's everywhere on my face.... I am in pure hell...

 

 

And yes... I've been getting foot detox baths just with salt and an electric current that runs thru the water with essential oils rubbed into the feet.... and drinking chlorophyll .. Once a week only for 3 weeks now.... It oxygenates the cells... It's the stuff that is in green plants..... along with reflexology and I always feel so much better.....day and a half later it will last..... It reverses my energy and the adrenaline surges will stop...  maybe I should just do the reflexology... My symptoms actually calm down.... Maybe the other stuff is hurting me...... The foot detox and chlorophyll...

 

I feel like I'm going crazy and I will never have a life again..... Or ill be dead from all the stress...

 

What other meds could I take to not have a seizure? I'm afraid of everything....and hypersensitive...

It doesn't look like I could taper from kolonopin.... I don't know.... I don't know whether to keep holding or not....can you just cold turkey and take an anti seizure med without consequences from the ct?  If the drug is hurting more then helping what is the point?

 

What would happen if I missed a full day of doses for one day? As an experiment... I feel so trapped... I know my doctor is not going to know what to do....

 

The dose of k is too high..... That's a big part of what is killing me too....

 

I'm so terrified.... I love you guys for being here....

I'm so sorry for your struggles Please. I would advise against a CT as the sxs may get much more severe and there is a higher chance of being protracted due to the CNS shock. I know it's scary right now. How long have you held?  Have you had any windows?  I'm with liza in that a partial Ativan dose combined with the K may be helpful but know many doctors won't prescribe 2 benzos. If sxs are intolerable you may want to try a dose correction by increasing your daily dose slightly (borrowed this term from another site  ). I believe you said you didn't want to cross to V? I know it's a depressing benzo but seems to be more forgiving if tapered correctly. Just food for thought. My thoughts and prayers are with you. --V

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Please,

 

There are many effective anti-seizure meds. I take lamictal (as a mood stabilizer and antidepressant) but it is an anti-seizure med.  I don't know if something like that would be appropriate for you or if a c/t would help you ().  Hopefully your doctor can think of something - updose, added med, anything.  How do they treat TD?

 

As far as I know there is no cure and it is progressive.... I don't know if that is what I have... But it really looks like it.... People on here say benzos can't cause td others say it can....I don't know what's true or if its just hyperexcitable nerves in my face ....pharmacist was adamant they give benzos to relax the muscles not that it causes td....... If you take the drug away too rapidly I guess the opposite would happen?  It is episodic but when it happens its hideous... And some days constant....

 

I took visteral for 5 days and its known to cause it too.....

 

Lynn. Thank you for helping and sharing with me.... You are another angel..... I was afraid to post because I don't want to be a burden when others are doing so much better I feel like an anomaly..... I keep having one panic attack after another and I know I am destroying my health even more along with the pill... I live in constant fear of my symptoms I shake in terror everyday in a corner.... Literally.... :'(

 

It's just that the symptoms are so terrifying and so bizarre I feel like I'm losing my sanity....

 

Please help me dear Lord....

 

 

[[li...]]

PLEASE YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DRINK CHLOROPHYLL AND DO DETOX FOOT BATHS!!! YOU ARE EFFECTIVELY COLD TURKEYING YOURSELF. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW. STOP ALL OF THAT. YOU DO NOT WANT TO DETOX. I HAVE THIS ON SEVERAL OEOPLE'S AUTHORITY AND EXPERIENCE.  THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SICK I'm so certain!!!

[[li...]]

Lynn--you take Lamictal?  I am trying to figure out why I'm not feeling like you are but you're on an additional drug. I need to start reading people's signatures better-Duh. I don't want to take anything else but I'm comparing apples to oranges.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Liza,

 

I think the lamictal has "cured" the anxiety and depression.  I don't believe it helps with wd but having a terrific mood makes anything tolerable.  I came off of decades-long horrific depression when I c/t'd prozac and cut the xanax drastically.  I do believe I am bipolar II (strong family history) and lamictal has been a magic bullet.

[[li...]]

Good for you Lynn!!!

[[Va...]]

 

 

Please,

 

There are many effective anti-seizure meds. I take lamictal (as a mood stabilizer and antidepressant) but it is an anti-seizure med.  I don't know if something like that would be appropriate for you or if a c/t would help you ().  Hopefully your doctor can think of something - updose, added med, anything.  How do they treat TD?

 

As far as I know there is no cure and it is progressive.... I don't know if that is what I have... But it really looks like it.... People on here say benzos can't cause td others say it can....I don't know what's true or if its just hyperexcitable nerves in my face ....pharmacist was adamant they give benzos to relax the muscles not that it causes td....... If you take the drug away too rapidly I guess the opposite would happen?  It is episodic but when it happens its hideous... And some days constant....

 

I took visteral for 5 days and its known to cause it too.....

 

Lynn. Thank you for helping and sharing with me.... You are another angel..... I was afraid to post because I don't want to be a burden when others are doing so much better I feel like an anomaly..... I keep having one panic attack after another and I know I am destroying my health even more along with the pill... I live in constant fear of my symptoms I shake in terror everyday in a corner.... Literally.... :'(

 

It's just that the symptoms are so terrifying and so bizarre I feel like I'm losing my sanity....

 

Please help me dear Lord....

Please, what are your main sxs that make you think it may be TD. I can give you my sxs throughout this nightmare. I've had conscious seizures (involuntary large muscle jerking) which sent me to the ER a couple of times not knowing what was happening. I currently have facial tics and twitches in my face especially when I try to smile. Are these the kinds of sxs you're having?  If so, I can tell you mine seem to be lessening in intensity. Getting stable helped a lot but I still have the tics and probably will until I'm off and healed. I'd try not to worry too much as I believe what you're experiencing is probably withdrawal. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor but many times they don't understand withdrawal sxs. Hope you find some answers! --V

[[fr...]]

  Please,  If you have been doing these detoxes maybe you need to do an updose right now.  IDK and am not telling you to do this.  I'm only throwing it out there since you are having such terrible s/x's your body might be CTing right now.  I had tics etc, before i even started benzos so I wouldn't worry about them at the moment but you are in a true crisis and need help. 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Maybe I'm wrong but I thought TD was a risk of SSRI's and/or other AD's (?).  I had a concern when on some of the different AD's and a high dose of prozac (80mg).

[[be...]]

Please I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish I had something to add to help you, but please know I am thinking of you and please take care, I wish I knew what to tell you to help, Sending you Prayers and I will be thinking of you. But I do think you need to some help, I know Doctors are not always good at this thing, but Please right now you may need some type of help, I do not know how to advise. The only thing I can say is that when I was at the end of my rope and a stroke was the next thing I followed the ER Doctors advise, to go back on dose, I just could not have a stroke and that was what I was facing twice.

[[Pl...]]

Liza and free thank you my angels.......

 

I was wondering if I missed a dose if I would feel better.... An experiment.... I always feel better BEFORE my dose.... so much better...

 

The drug half way works... It keeps certain things at bay from the ativan  injury but seems 100 percent paradoxical in other ways ....so intolerable inhumane suffering... :'( I am afraid to ever use ativan again.... If I knew I could taper off of it and it would work I would do anything to get rid of these symptoms.....but severely terrified....

 

All the stuff in my face is so severe I look maimed....and severely painful... I'm convinced I have severe td.... Alot of the time when I try to talk I have to fight my mouth from moving in other directions.....sometimes my whole face will start moving on its own.. It's everywhere on my face.... I am in pure hell...

 

 

And yes... I've been getting foot detox baths just with salt and an electric current that runs thru the water with essential oils rubbed into the feet.... and drinking chlorophyll .. Once a week only for 3 weeks now.... It oxygenates the cells... It's the stuff that is in green plants..... along with reflexology and I always feel so much better.....day and a half later it will last..... It reverses my energy and the adrenaline surges will stop...  maybe I should just do the reflexology... My symptoms actually calm down.... Maybe the other stuff is hurting me...... The foot detox and chlorophyll...

 

I feel like I'm going crazy and I will never have a life again..... Or ill be dead from all the stress...

 

What other meds could I take to not have a seizure? I'm afraid of everything....and hypersensitive...

It doesn't look like I could taper from kolonopin.... I don't know.... I don't know whether to keep holding or not....can you just cold turkey and take an anti seizure med without consequences from the ct?  If the drug is hurting more then helping what is the point?

 

What would happen if I missed a full day of doses for one day? As an experiment... I feel so trapped... I know my doctor is not going to know what to do....

 

The dose of k is too high..... That's a big part of what is killing me too....

 

I'm so terrified.... I love you guys for being here....

I'm so sorry for your struggles Please. I would advise against a CT as the sxs may get much more severe and there is a higher chance of being protracted due to the CNS shock. I know it's scary right now. How long have you held?  Have you had any windows?  I'm with liza in that a partial Ativan dose combined with the K may be helpful but know many doctors won't prescribe 2 benzos. If sxs are intolerable you may want to try a dose correction by increasing your daily dose slightly (borrowed this term from another site  ). I believe you said you didn't want to cross to V? I know it's a depressing benzo but seems to be more forgiving if tapered correctly. Just food for thought. My thoughts and prayers are with you. --V

 

V- thank you... You brought up some valid points...even if I did a ct with an anti seizure med it would still shock the Cns? doing a ct terrifies me I'm in such a bad way either way....I am so sedated and drugged now I feel like  doing a dose correction would not make it worse?

 

All I know is this.... I've held about 18 days or so now.....inner vibrating and tremors have been fluctuating in and out but still there along with the horrid akasthesia ( leg movement) ... Other old stuff has come back to revisit me although episodic too.....

 

I keep wondering if the switch to milk a few months back had anything to do with it... And also I felt better I believe in the beginning with the K BEFORE it built up in my system....

 

My brother who I live with did notice that it seems like the K is working halfway... It softened some stuff but seems completely paradoxical in so many other ways...maybe that's the receptors ativan hits and not K...... Or I kindled.... Who knows... It could be anything... I don't know about Valium... I was seriously considering it.... I don't know if my dr. Would do it.... I just don't know what to do.....it seems to me that people have  a much harder time dropping Valium then K... It could be my skewed perception....

 

something is severely wrong with my hormone output.. Meaning my adrenals and cortisol and whatever else it could be...I really believe the adrenaline is spurring on a lot  of the intensity of everything...I feel manic in my body;not mind....

 

How do I stop the adrenaline? It's like so much unbelievable nervous energy keeps pouring thru my body and then the symptoms go haywire...is this adrenaline?

 

How long do you have to make a dose correction and how much time should you give it? ANd can you just drop right back down if it doesn't work?

 

don't know the solution... and terrified to make a move ....

 

Thank you for being an angel to me too V for you input.... Thank you all so much for your compassion

 

If anyone else has any other answers to this.... Please please chime in.....

 

 

[[be...]]

Please, there is an adrenal cocktail that buddies take before bed and it helps with the surges, I just do not know what it entails, but I think it is worth a try. I can tell you from my experience with going back on dose, it took a few days to fully kick in, it takes time and for everyone different times. Maybe V knows of this cocktail I am speaking of, from what I remember is that about 3am in the morning the cortisol levels go up, but this certain concoction helps, also I knew someone that had a glass of OJ and a peanut butter sandwich right before bed and it helped also. I wish I could help you more, I am so sorry. 

[[ly...]]

Please, this would be my only comment about updosing and any concern about dropping back down, successfully (if that's even a reasonable term in this case), if the updose didn't help.  Dropping back down right away or the concern about reverting to a higher dose would be off the radar for me.  You must do whatever is necessary to get stable.  Period.  No worries about later tapering from a higher dose.  Get stable and stay there for a long while.  Don't worry about anything else.  Just my two cents.

 

It's only been 18 days and you have the other (possibly causal) issues with supplements/treatments to throw into the mix.

[[Va...]]

Please, there is an adrenal cocktail that buddies take before bed and it helps with the surges, I just do not know what it entails, but I think it is worth a try. I can tell you from my experience with going back on dose, it took a few days to fully kick in, it takes time and for everyone different times. Maybe V knows of this cocktail I am speaking of, from what I remember is that about 3am in the morning the cortisol levels go up, but this certain concoction helps, also I knew someone that had a glass of OJ and a peanut butter sandwich right before bed and it helped also. I wish I could help you more, I am so sorry.

Vitamin C in orange juice and Seriphos are a couple of cortisol suppressants.  --V

[[Va...]]

it seems to me that people have  a much harder time dropping Valium then K... It could be my skewed perception....

 

Please, I think all benzos are hard to drop. It's just that V seems to help those that really struggle getting off the original benzo. Once I found the right cut rate, I am close to symptom free. It's best to taper off the original benzo if possible but I believe V can be a lifesaver to many. Just my two cents.  --V

[[Pl...]]

PLEASE YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DRINK CHLOROPHYLL AND DO DETOX FOOT BATHS!!! YOU ARE EFFECTIVELY COLD TURKEYING YOURSELF. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW. STOP ALL OF THAT. YOU DO NOT WANT TO DETOX. I HAVE THIS ON SEVERAL OEOPLE'S AUTHORITY AND EXPERIENCE.  THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SICK I'm so certain!!!

 

Liza..... Angel...thank you so much.... I'm not going to do it anymore.... just maybe the reflexology part.... I think that  part helps me....

 

I cut out the probiotic and the protein drinks....even though I only did it for a few days....I found out the protein drinks have a very high level of the amino acid aspartic acid ( no vitamins added) which I believe is a neuro exciter in the brain....

[[Pl...]]

it seems to me that people have  a much harder time dropping Valium then K... It could be my skewed perception....

 

Please, I think all benzos are hard to drop. It's just that V seems to help those that really struggle getting off the original benzo. Once I found the right cut rate, I am close to symptom free. It's best to taper off the original benzo if possible but I believe V can be a lifesaver to many. Just my two cents.  --V

 

Okay V..... thank you for advice about the valium.....my brother likes the idea but im still terrified on what to do...what about vit c tablets?  I would think oj would be loaded with sugar? And I thought seriphos acts on gaba receptors? you know how you hear things but you do not know  what is what?  I would get the seriphos and I do have vit c tablets here...

 

Have you been on other benzos before the Valium, too?

[[Pl...]]

  Please,  If you have been doing these detoxes maybe you need to do an updose right now.  IDK and am not telling you to do this.  I'm only throwing it out there since you are having such terrible s/x's your body might be CTing right now.  I had tics etc, before i even started benzos so I wouldn't worry about them at the moment but you are in a true crisis and need help.

 

Thank you free so much for the advice....I appreciate it...

[[Pl...]]

Please, there is an adrenal cocktail that buddies take before bed and it helps with the surges, I just do not know what it entails, but I think it is worth a try. I can tell you from my experience with going back on dose, it took a few days to fully kick in, it takes time and for everyone different times. Maybe V knows of this cocktail I am speaking of, from what I remember is that about 3am in the morning the cortisol levels go up, but this certain concoction helps, also I knew someone that had a glass of OJ and a peanut butter sandwich right before bed and it helped also. I wish I could help you more, I am so sorry.

Begood and Lynn.....thank you both for your advice... It's so truly much appreciated..(((.      )))))

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Please,

 

There are many effective anti-seizure meds. I take lamictal (as a mood stabilizer and antidepressant) but it is an anti-seizure med.  I don't know if something like that would be appropriate for you or if a c/t would help you ().  Hopefully your doctor can think of something - updose, added med, anything.  How do they treat TD?

 

As far as I know there is no cure and it is progressive.... I don't know if that is what I have... But it really looks like it.... People on here say benzos can't cause td others say it can....I don't know what's true or if its just hyperexcitable nerves in my face ....pharmacist was adamant they give benzos to relax the muscles not that it causes td....... If you take the drug away too rapidly I guess the opposite would happen?  It is episodic but when it happens its hideous... And some days constant....

 

I took visteral for 5 days and its known to cause it too.....

 

Lynn. Thank you for helping and sharing with me.... You are another angel..... I was afraid to post because I don't want to be a burden when others are doing so much better I feel like an anomaly..... I keep having one panic attack after another and I know I am destroying my health even more along with the pill... I live in constant fear of my symptoms I shake in terror everyday in a corner.... Literally.... :'(

 

It's just that the symptoms are so terrifying and so bizarre I feel like I'm losing my sanity....

 

Please help me dear Lord....

Please, what are your main sxs that make you think it may be TD. I can give you my sxs throughout this nightmare. I've had conscious seizures (involuntary large muscle jerking) which sent me to the ER a couple of times not knowing what was happening. I currently have facial tics and twitches in my face especially when I try to smile. Are these the kinds of sxs you're having?  If so, I can tell you mine seem to be lessening in intensity. Getting stable helped a lot but I still have the tics and probably will until I'm off and healed. I'd try not to worry too much as I believe what you're experiencing is probably withdrawal. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor but many times they don't understand withdrawal sxs. Hope you find some answers! --V

 

V - I'm going to get back to you on this ASAP.... Because its lengthy and horrific but it will help me to get it all out what ive been thru and I really want to know what you 've experienced......

[[Pl...]]

Guys.... I am sooooooooo grateful for everyone's input....... But I wanted to say in case none of you were aware... Is that all of these symptoms that im experiencing now were left over from ativan withdrawal and 10 months later I went on k waited 4 months and started reducing (after switching to milk for 4 weeks) I was never stable to begin with and maybe there is a chance I may never be because of the way i did this...

 

I dont know of too many people that waited this long and the outcome....that's when they say your chance of becoming more paradoxical is greater...

 

Anyway I thought this was important to know in case none were aware or looked at my signature...

 

( rapid cold turkey kindling case)

 

I love all of you so much for helping......sooooooo much!!!!

 

I hope I didn't leave anyone out that was so gracious to respond to me.... You are all my lifeline....