The Long Hold Support Group

[[es...]]

I am not sure if anyone has made a bigger initial cut than me. I started out by not knowing what to do and cut close to 1/3 of my dose right away. I tried to do the Ashton 10% after that, and as most everyone knows, I really got hurt. I know everyone discovered they were going too fast and that is the reason you did holds. I am wondering if my mistake is way too big to overcome. I think people have actually had to reinstate just to start a slow taper, if they cut 25%. You all know that I am not functional and am in the fifth month of holding. Going back to the beginning sounds horrifying. But am I going to set myself up for trouble if I have to taper without much stability? I looked at signatures from this group, going way back, and I can’t find anybody who messed up as bad as me. If anyone has an opinion please share. I love you for all you have done to help me already, Esperanza

[[Ma...]]

I am not sure if anyone has made a bigger initial cut than me. I started out by not knowing what to do and cut close to 1/3 of my dose right away. I tried to do the Ashton 10% after that, and as most everyone knows, I really got hurt. I know everyone discovered they were going too fast and that is the reason you did holds. I am wondering if my mistake is way too big to overcome. I think people have actually had to reinstate just to start a slow taper, if they cut 25%. You all know that I am not functional and am in the fifth month of holding. Going back to the beginning sounds horrifying. But am I going to set myself up for trouble if I have to taper without much stability? I looked at signatures from this group, going way back, and I can’t find anybody who messed up as bad as me. If anyone has an opinion please share. I love you for all you have done to help me already, Esperanza

 

I am not confident enough in myself to really answer that question.  But one thing I have read, which made a lot of sense to me, was not doing a complete updose but back into it, and hopefully you find a stable place without having to completely start over.    Like add back 5% and hold ( just throwing out numbers to describe what I mean, or maybe start with a 10% updose, but you have to hold again to see if it works, and it takes time, you may get some relief immediately, you may not. If that doesn't work, you updose again, hold.  And if you are lucky you find a point lower than where you started at.

Does that make sense?

[[In...]]

Have you ever had benzo flu Intend?  I just feel like crap, weak , muscles hurt worse, no energy at all and I need to exercise or my muscles get worse, splat, I think the word Can't uses

 

I hope you are feeling ok my friend, our poor little group is just pitiful the last few days.

 

I wasn't expecting not to hear from Stut today either, I know they were planning to move her sister to the ward, I hope she is just busy.

Love you,  Mary

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🐈🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾⚒🛠⚒🛠🔨⚙️🔩🔧

 

Mary,

 

I’ve had the flu before of course, but the term benzo flu is one I’ve always attributed to benzo withdrawals.

 

I’ll be cold when I go to bed, and have to bundle up, and then sometimes in the middle of the night, I wake up feeling too warm. I throwback my covers, and cool down and go back to sleep if I can. And then sometimes I get up in the morning feeling warm again, and go out to the kitchen and get my “chores”  done, and start to feel cold again.

 

It is seriously freezing cold here, and the furnace clicks on very early in the morning because the cold is supposedly at its lowest point of the day then. So I let the furnace run till it stops, and then I turn the heat up. But then I’m sitting here and I’m usually freezing cold anyway because we don’t have good heat circulation in this room.

 

I have read for a very long time that benzos cause people to not be able to regulate the body temperature very well. So Ive always attributed body temperature to that. I can have the heat turned up while taking my dose in the kitchen and feel too warm when starting out, and then have ny nose running slightly while I complete that. And I choke, cough, like I’m sick, and I’m not sick with any kind of cold of flu at all.

 

And I often feel like crap myself, and just plain tired. But if someone were to take my temperature, they’d probably find a normal one. Not a headache to be found either.

 

I used to do a lot of small weights exercising myself, and walk fast on my treadmill, but haven’t done that recently. Actually, I feel pretty good today, but I’m still cold. Just turned on the gas fireplace to warmup.

 

Benzo flu imitates flu type sx, but is usually not real flu. But we can surely feel like crap nevertheless. Benzos can make it difficult to control body temperature, gives us headaches, feel flushed in the face, make us feel tired, and every possible sx of whatever type sickness one can think of and they often interfere with bloodwork that is taken for some reason.

 

I pretty much recognize the flu when I get it or when I get a cold.

 

As far the group, I can only guess about that. It’s seems like a smaller group each time I read it. And there are a lot of times I don’t post myself. But I’m here reading.

 

Love you too Mary.

 

🌹 🌹 🌹 🔨 🔨 🔨 🐈 🐱 🐈 🐱 🐾 🐾 🐾 🐾

[[In...]]

Mary,

 

Without quoting you, I have read the same thing myself about finding that stable place which should be lower than where one started.

 

The problem is that esperanza has this “relative withdrawl” which I’ve never had myself.

 

I’ve read Colin’s explanation and he said it was rare to get this. And I’ve read it called just plain tolerance by the withdrawl project (Laura Delano’s site-the inner compass/withdrawl project), and I think it was called tolerance by the BIC also.

 

This problem apparently complicates what one should do, so since Stut has this also, I asked esperanza to send Stut a pm and ask more about this than we can tell her.

 

esperanza, sorry to talk about you like you’re not here, but I had to do this to explain to Mary.

 

So good old Dan has just taken one of his famous huge baths, and I need to get in that shower 🚿

and he has used up all that hot water for awhile. Time for me to fume and sizzle. That man is so spoiled I could scream.

 

But he is a good guy overall. He and Pepper 🐱 🐈 make a good team of spoiled brats.

 

We need more emojis for brats now.

[[Tr...]]

Hello lovely ladies!! It's FUN FRIDAY!! just for you D, because I know how much you are loving this, ya know riddles two for Tuesday and the like

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Intend,

I was reading back.. And you're right this group is dwindling, and it makes me sad. While I want everyone to get better, I don't want to lose the friendship and support I found here. I'm sad about not hearing from SS,  and all the other regulars that hung out here. Stut, is busy with her sister and we understand her family obligations and want her sister to get well but we miss her presence here all the time. What's happened..

 

I was all set to do FUN FRIDAY but now I'm in a FRIDAY FUNK 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Btw..I cut my dose today.. Same % as last time, nothing crazy..

[[Tr...]]

E, I'm bad at math but I think someone once told me my cuts were 30% or maybe more in the beginning.. Way too much. You probably remember bc we were the newbies and we were pm-ing each other all the time. We were in bad shape.

[[Tr...]]

Sweet D, how are you feeling? I hope you're feeling better than from what I just read about you earlier. What exactly is benzo flu? Is it wd?

[[Tr...]]

Hey English,

I hope you pop in, I got my custard creams from Amazon and they were seriously delicious!!

[[Ma...]]

Mary,

 

Without quoting you, I have read the same thing myself about finding that stable place which should be lower than where one started.

 

The problem is that esperanza has this “relative withdrawl” which I’ve never had myself.

 

I’ve read Colin’s explanation and he said it was rare to get this. And I’ve read it called just plain tolerance by the withdrawl project (Laura Delano’s site-the inner compass/withdrawl project), and I think it was called tolerance by the BIC also.

 

This problem apparently complicates what one should do, so since Stut has this also, I asked esperanza to send Stut a pm and ask more about this than we can tell her.

 

esperanza, sorry to talk about you like you’re not here, but I had to do this to explain to Mary.

 

So good old Dan has just taken one of his famous huge baths, and I need to get in that shower 🚿

and he has used up all that hot water for awhile. Time for me to fume and sizzle. That man is so spoiled I could scream.

 

But he is a good guy overall. He and Pepper 🐱 🐈 make a good team of spoiled brats.

 

We need more emojis for brats now.

 

No, I am glad you explained it, I looked all over trying to find where it was explained so Esperanza could read it too but couldn't think of what they really call it so I couldn't find it.

 

You and Dan and Pepper are the perfect family, you look after each other ,and love each other.  Anywhere to put a handle for you to hold getting out of that tub?  Can't have you falling!  Is Pepper in front of the fireplace?  I use to love my cat get warm and start stretching out til she was on her back

 

Love you all , Mary 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🐈🐈🐈🐈🐾🐾🐾⚒🔧🔩🔨⚙️🛠

 

[[Ma...]]

Sweet D, how are you feeling? I hope you're feeling better than from what I just read about you earlier. What exactly is benzo flu? Is it wd?

 

I think it's like a wave that feels  like the flu without a fever.  I am so tired, just exhausted and just feel like over all crap, and it's effecting my eyes 👀 too.  11 days til first procedure, holding now til a couple weeks after second procedure .  Hope that helps me feel better.  Sorry Freaking Friday didn't work out.  We are missing so many people.  Some are just really sick and not posting. But I really miss everyone too.  Maybe when they start tapering again, they move to another thread.  Love you, Mary ☮️💜🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[[Ma...]]

Btw..I cut my dose today.. Same % as last time, nothing crazy..

 

Good luck girlfriend, hope very light blips as begood says 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🇬🇧

[[Tr...]]

Btw..I cut my dose today.. Same % as last time, nothing crazy..

 

Good luck girlfriend, hope very light blips as begood says 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🇬🇧

 

That sucks girlfriend, sorry you're feeling so shitty, maybe after a good night's sleep you'll feel better tomorrow. Do you think it's benzo flu for sure? Could it be a little bug? It's that time of year everywhere for viruses and colds.

I'll send you some of my super powers  ,. There that should help a bit

Love you sweet D

Your other half of D..

PS.. trying not to over think this recent cut 

Love you your other half of D

 

[[Ma...]]

Good night🌛LHSG, I hate so many of us are feeling bad, maybe things will improve tomorrow.

 

Love you all very much, 🌖 Mary ☮️💜🙏☮️💜.  🐕🐾🐾🐾🐾

 

Stut, hope things went well moving your sister, and that she is doing okay.  We love and miss you, Lady Mary 🐕🐾🐾🐶🐾🐾 ☮️💜☮️💜.  🇬🇧🍀

 

SS! As always, miss and 😘  ☮️💜🙏☮️💜🙏

[[Tr...]]

Good night🌛LHSG, I hate so many of us are feeling bad, maybe things will improve tomorrow.

 

Love you all very much, 🌖 Mary ☮️💜🙏☮️💜.  🐕🐾🐾🐾🐾

 

Stut, hope things went well moving your sister, and that she is doing okay.  We love and miss you, Lady Mary 🐕🐾🐾🐶🐾🐾 ☮️💜☮️💜.  🇬🇧🍀

 

SS! As always, miss and 😘  ☮️💜🙏☮️💜🙏

Good night sweet D, feel better girlfriend.. Sweet dreams.

Talk in the morning..

Love ya,

Your other half of D :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Btw..I cut my dose today.. Same % as last time, nothing crazy..

 

Good luck girlfriend, hope very light blips as begood says 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🇬🇧

 

That sucks girlfriend, sorry you're feeling so shitty, maybe after a good night's sleep you'll feel better tomorrow. Do you think it's benzo flu for sure? Could it be a little bug? It's that time of year everywhere for viruses and colds.

I'll send you some of my super powers  ,. There that should help a bit

Love you sweet D

Your other half of D..

PS.. trying not to over think this recent cut 

Love you your other half of D

 

Thanks for the super powers.  Don't over think it, just ride with the flow.  You are a strong willed woman  . You got this D'r.  😘 Mary

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

  Lady Mary you need to hold for a while my love and get a bit of stability your withdrawal symptoms appear to be increasing so just hold and let everything settle down.l know you have this procedure coming up and you are probably worrying about that on top of everything else so hold tight.Take it one day at a time and rest.love you my lady Mary.

Esperanza l was thinking about this idea of an updose now that is so difficult as relative withdrawal changes everything.My opinion is this l know you want stability and improvement however in our situation l don't believe an increase in medication will work however l don't really know and that is the truth.l know you want relief and you want to get started on your taper however as you have said you tapered so quickly so it stands to reason you are going to take a long time to reach some kind of stability.l know you keep thinking it's now 5 months and the despair kicks in however your brain is not regulated by time it will go at it's own pace and all you can do is try to do what you can and accept that this will take as long as it takes.l know that isn't easy however it is the only way.Love to you my dear friend.

Trish hang tight twiny remember you will be ok and even if you have withdrawal symptoms they will pass.love you twiny.

Intend you have definitely got the knowledge which helps a lot of people who are struggling to understand what is happening.I hope today is another better day for you my love.Sending you a hug my lovely.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

[[St...]]

Well folks sis in on the ward so that is good and now thankfully the rehab can begin.l know a lot of the nurses on the ward so she's in very good hands.

I know everyone is worried about the quietness of the group but sometimes life gets in the way as it should.l definitely won't be on much but l need to focus on what is going on in my life however l will always try to drop in if and when l can.

Love you all.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Well folks sis in on the ward so that is good and now thankfully the rehab can begin.l know a lot of the nurses on the ward so she's in very good hands.

I know everyone is worried about the quietness of the group but sometimes life gets in the way as it should.l definitely won't be on much but l need to focus on what is going on in my life however l will always try to drop in if and when l can.

Love you all.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

So happy to hear your sister is on the ward, great news my twin. I hope this means you can get some relaxation time for yourself. You give a lot of yourself to your family, I do too, my mother raised us to always look after each other. I know I've said this before but it bares repeating, your sister is blessed to have you, with all the support and love you give her. Prayers and healing thoughts for her recovery.

 

It's true we miss you terribly around here, and the group is pretty silent or quieter than usual, but you're right life does get in the way and we all have lives aside from this tapering business. I hope you drop in often, bc you are our queen and my twin, the better twin and the sexier one of course! :laugh:

 

Miss and love you,

Your LST Trish :smitten:

 

Ps.. I'll look out for Mary, I'll keep her in riddles, she loves them! 

[[Tr...]]

Good morning all,

No one is here accept for you guessed it! ME and ME AGAIN! Sorry but they're hungry and they are not going to converse with one another this morning! ME has requested pancakes made out of bananas! ME AGAIN has taken a liking to them.. So they wish you all a great day with very little and hopefully no sxs weekend.. Might be wishful thinking,  but all three of us are hoping for that! :laugh:

 

Get the train running sweet D, but if you're feeling under the weather stay in bed a little longer and take care of you, the train will be waiting when you're up to it :smitten:

 

Be well my friends,

Trish xoxo

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

  Lady Mary you need to hold for a while my love and get a bit of stability your withdrawal symptoms appear to be increasing so just hold and let everything settle down.l know you have this procedure coming up and you are probably worrying about that on top of everything else so hold tight.Take it one day at a time and rest.love you my lady Mary.

Esperanza l was thinking about this idea of an updose now that is so difficult as relative withdrawal changes everything.My opinion is this l know you want stability and improvement however in our situation l don't believe an increase in medication will work however l don't really know and that is the truth.l know you want relief and you want to get started on your taper however as you have said you tapered so quickly so it stands to reason you are going to take a long time to reach some kind of stability.l know you keep thinking it's now 5 months and the despair kicks in however your brain is not regulated by time it will go at it's own pace and all you can do is try to do what you can and accept that this will take as long as it takes.l know that isn't easy however it is the only way.Love to you my dear friend.

Trish hang tight twiny remember you will be ok and even if you have withdrawal symptoms they will pass.love you twiny.

Intend you have definitely got the knowledge which helps a lot of people who are struggling to understand what is happening.I hope today is another better day for you my love.Sending you a hug my lovely.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

 

Awwwwww, it's our Stut.  We miss you so much, yes we know you are going to be very busy, so a round us up, tell us off post feels wonderful.  I am holding now til at least 2 weeks after 2nd procedure. So that's going to be at least 8 weeks I think.  I think I feel better this morning.  Our weather has gone between 35 to 80 this week, rain, drizzle.  No sun except maybe 30 minutes one day. 

I have not read posts on you sister yet, so I will go read those.  Please take care of yourself too.  If you don't you won't be able to take care of your sister.  Lady Mary. Give my babies kisses and pets for me.  I had to explain butt pops to Fiona this week

[[Ma...]]

Good morning all,

No one is here accept for you guessed it! ME and ME AGAIN! Sorry but they're hungry and they are not going to converse with one another this morning! ME has requested pancakes made out of bananas! ME AGAIN has taken a liking to them.. So they wish you all a great day with very little and hopefully no sxs weekend.. Might be wishful thinking,  but all three of us are hoping for that! :laugh:

 

Get the train running sweet D, but if you're feeling under the weather stay in bed a little longer and take care of you, the train will be waiting when you're up to it :smitten:

 

Be well my friends,

Trish xoxo

 

Morning Trishy, I want banana pancakes too please.  Love you girlfriend, need to get to begood's thread, I know Stut posted a lot over there, want to catch her if I can☮️💜🙏☮️💜🙏 be back!

[[St...]]

Lady Mary your feeling better because your old friend is here lol.Well love it won't do you a pin of harm to hold and catch your breath.

  I miss you and our friends here however life is biting at my ankles and as much as l would love to hide out in my house it ain't an option.l have written a long post at the village so there has been a lot going on in the last few days.

  I tell you lady Mary we need a YouTube video of Tim doing the butt pop that would save you a lot of time 😀.You give those boys a hug from me.

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Lady Mary your feeling better because your old friend is here lol.Well love it won't do you a pin of harm to hold and catch your breath.

  I miss you and our friends here however life is biting at my ankles and as much as l would love to hide out in my house it ain't an option.l have written a long post at the village so there has been a lot going on in the last few days.

  I tell you lady Mary we need a YouTube video of Tim doing the butt pop that would save you a lot of time 😀.You give those boys a hug from me.

  Love you my lady Mary.

  Love and hugs Stut X

 

:laugh: we do need a You tub video....now go to bed. :tickedoff: