Klonopin taper?

[[...]]

The kind hearts come forth again...immediately..with reassurances. Thanks so much...this board is jsut incredible...such fine people. I will do the taper after I get the .5mgs in middle of March. How can I not at least try.

 

I'll get back in touch then. Don't want any more energy spent on me, when it could be spent in other places.

 

But when the taper starts. I'll be back. Don't even have a clue what to do with the .5 tablets. Colin to the rescue.

 

Take care, everyone. Never give up.

 

INB

[[el...]]

Feel free to stick around til then!

If not, we'll see you next month.

[[...]]

I was embarrassed to stay on line talking about my prblems, but Eljay has convinced me that I should not feel ashamed.

 

I am done and out depressed, and didn't want to share this fact with others...especially it being a broken record. I just don't want contact with anyone outside the house. This is a hard position to be in because I have kids of 15, 13, and 7 and a wife who can't drive. We live in a small town in western NY and the friends are not distance wise close to friends...so I am chauffeur for shopping, and taking kids to parites, over friends in general, and whatever. Can't relax. Everytime phone rings I jump and I am afraid I have to get up and take someone someplace...really jsut want to be left alone. So the hard thing I am facing now is ACTING LIKE I  A NORMAL FATHER AND HUSBAND. I have a wonderful wife, and she of course knows I am depressed, but the kids just think I have a "bad Back", and that is why I am in my room in bed so much.

 

I have tried all the antidepressants and nothing has worked. I have gained 50 lbs, and feel bad about this. I was always a guy in good shape. Now I feel like a zchlub...and actually look like one. I am ashamed of myself.

 

Son just came in and coughed and I jumped two feet...or that's how I felt inside. This hyper sensitivity to sound and to lying down (feeling of fear enters with shallow breathing) is a horror. I am only hoping that this is from benzos. Taking .75 of klonopin now..as recommedned by Colin instead of .5 (1/4 of 2 mg pills I have now, and then half of one of those)as I have stated many times. Regular doctor told me he would up the klonopin if sound sensiotivity continues. Shrink doctor got mad the last time I told him about this and said there is nothing for it. So he gave me Paxil to take. Haven't taken it yet. Yet another chemical to be added to poor nervous system. In short, neither doctor has any clue about coming off one medicaine from another, and especially about benzos. Regular doctor STILL doesn't know that ultram is highly addictive. This is one very strong revelation I ahve had about this whole thing...the doctors know so little about brain pills...even the shrinks. They just summarily hand out these things and tell you to get lost.

 

Am so mixed up, don't know what to do.

 

Wish I ahd never started with anything concerning these meds. This orginally started out as a chronic pain problem (ultram addiction was result) and has turned into a nightmare involving benzos and antidepressants. My brain is fried.

 

I try to occupy myself by writing a classical music course and site. It's called www.classicalmusicproject.com if anyone wants to be bored to death.

 

INB :'(

[[Je...]]

You have absolutely no reason to feel ashamed...banish that from your head right now!!  We are not weak because we "can't handle withdrawal" we are mighty warriors because we did it or are doing it and survived!!  What an absolutely awesome father and husband you are...because you are going through this horrible ordeal and yet you still are caring for your wife and children.  You are so much stronger than you think!

 

What you are feeling as far as jumping out of your skin at every little sound...is absolutely normal.  I was the exact same way.  Couldn't stand any stimulation whatsoever....no TV...no phone...no music...even conversation sent me over the edge.  Try being like that and spending 6 days in a mental hospital...whoooaaahhhh.  Did you know there are CRAZY people in there???  LOL

 

Don't beat yourself up so much.  I think you are awesome and the sooner you realize that...the better off you will be!!

 

Love,

 

Jen

[[...]]

Thank you dear Jen.

[[Co...]]

INB, all this self-doubt is common with benzo-withdrawal - there is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Most of expereinced similar feelings. It will all pass as you recover.

[[si...]]

INB - if you read any of our blogs you will see we all had things to deal with at some point - it is easier to talk about i then to be quiet and pretend it isn't happening or think you are crazy.\

 

and as jeni said - we are warriors - i like that 

 

i might change my name to xena - she rocked - now she had problems - but she still rocked.

[[el...]]

Don't beat yourself up so much.  I think you are awesome and the sooner your realize that...the better off you will be!!

 

Love,

 

Jen

 

Boy, I sure do agree with Jen.  

Before I began my taper, my benzo did this too. Depression, hypersensitivity jumpiness, fear, anxiety, and insomnia. But about half way thru my taper these all disappeared. Things disappeared that I had even before the benzo. It's like the whole process has reset my brain.    Some sleep difficulty has returned but it's temporary.

 

Glad you posted your story INB.

[[...]]

Colin had told me that my cut from 1 mg to .5 of klonopin was too much and I took .75 for two days. Then I treid .5 last night, and today I felt very nerous. About two hours ago I took .25 and now feel better.

 

Could this be from the extra .25 so quickly?

 

If so, I think I could actually survive at the .75 level.

 

INB

[[Co...]]

Hi,

 

Stick at your new dose for at least a week or two. We could look at titartion for you. By making a liquid from your benzo pills you will be able to manage much smaller cuts to your dose. Quite a few of our members are doing this.

[[tr...]]

 

 

INB, everything seems magnified when you are trying to get off these drugs.  Just remember to go easy on yourself during this time.  I know your family needs you but you are doing a wonderful job of taking care of them.

 

You are not weak form coming here and getting some support.  What I have found is that my family and friends can't offer me the support I need because they have never been in this situtation and can not imagine what it's like.

 

Only the strong and determined make it to these boards and stay around.  It's not an easy road to travel but the reward is worth it.  Won't it be nice to never have to worry about taking a pill again? 

 

Sometime you just need to come here and "talk."  There are times I will come here and type up a HUGE post and then delete it all because by the time I'm finished I feel better.  Writing is good, it puts you in touch with yourself.

 

 

Ts

 

[[Ba...]]

INB listen my friend if your still on "ultram" I would personally try to get off them , Why it's because I was on them when I was trying to taper from benzos and boy do they magnify the withdrawals. It's a bad drug, doctors will tell you they're not addictive but thats garbage, I was actually surprised how much difference they made when I stopped them, I actually thought it was the benzos. I'm not saying that once you stop them benzos are a breeze to give up it's just that they clashed for me and made life unbearable. Even though they are a painkiller they are also an anti depressant and if your already taking an a/d your doubling up more. I'm still tapering benzos and have not given any advice to anyone here yet, your the first one I just had to tell you about ultram it was a devil to me. By the way I was also spooky, jumpy till they were out of my system. Hope this is a help.

 

Godbless you

 

Basil

[[si...]]

i threw away almost 100 ultram - they binded me up - drugged me and did nothing for pain.

 

these pharmaceutical companies invest drugs that will hook you - destroy your mind - destroy your body and keep coming back for more in search for what you lost prior to meeting the legalized drug pushers.

 

they are not our friends -  it is hard to believe that we pay so much for health care and the only thing they are really good at is hooking us on drugs, blaming us - and destroying our body in the process.

[[Be...]]

I try to occupy myself by writing a classical music course and site. It's called www.classicalmusicproject.com if anyone wants to be bored to death.

 

INB - I don't know how you manage to create such an intricate website with all the other things you do and challenges you are facing.  I spent 1/2 hour poking around and finally had to save it to my favorites. (Listened to several Paul Potts videos; his singing makes my heart swell.)  Thank you for sharing this great site with us. 

[[Ba...]]

I have to agree with Beeper, wow man you do a great site and I was'nt into stuff like that but I think I might explore more into it. Paul Potts is a tear jerker maybe I'm to emotional. You're great INB, love it, anyway after seeing your work I'm positive you'll be o.k. Goodluck get well.

 

Godbless     

[[...]]

Thanks so much about the insight about Ultram. I am not currently taking any, but instead the suboxone. All you said about ultram is true, Basil. I felt great using them. No depression, no pain, but then I began with the fear, so I thought it was the ultram, and went to a addiction doctor and he gave me the suboxone. Suboxone binds to the opiate receptors that ultram attaches to, and supplants the ultram....so you don't feel withdrawal. It's been two months without it, though and I am no better.

 

Problem is that I still ahve the fear and startle responce whenever there is a slight noise behind me...plus my body jumps when I a laying down..like the old frog's leg experiment of high school days.. I also seem to be out of breath. FRom reading this board I think it could beklonolin tolerance withdrawal...but am not sure because of stoppage of Ambien at same time.

 

Glad you guys like web site. I can barely work on it. It should have been done ages ago, and I haven't been able to do a thing on it for a couple of months now. Thanks for clicking all over the place because I frankly don't know if all the things on there work. Glad Paul Potts video works.

 

Wish someone would inspect the red box called the StageHouse and tell me if everything works. There is a whole course of study there....including PowerPoint presentations, and self tests etc. Only the Remedy for Rap CD is actually manufactured. I ahve the others ready to go to the publishing house but am paralyzed by this nightmare I am going through now.

 

I just got up and am having problems typing. Hands shake. I don't know why, I am not tapering anything.  Things seem to me to be getting worse.

 

Am being picked up by freind to go to church. Wish I hadn't agreed to this now. Don't know if I can make it. too shaky.

 

Bye for now

 

INB

[[el...]]

I just got up and am having problems typing. Hands shake. I don't know why, I am not tapering anything.  Things seem to me to be getting worse.

 

 

Morning INB,

This is quite probably tolerance wd. It means because you are building a tolerence to klono, you are actually going thru wd without even tapering. Your body wants more.

I developed this after only 3 months on klono. It was either increase the dose, which would have been a temporary fix, or begin my taper. I figured if I increased my dose at that time, I would only have further to taper off of. The ironic thing about tolerance wd is that it will usually get better as you start tapering. Not sure how that works, but it happens frequently. 

[[Be...]]

Glad you guys like web site... Wish someone would inspect the red box called the StageHouse and tell me if everything works. There is a whole course of study there....including PowerPoint presentations, and self tests etc. Bye for now

 

INB - I did click on StageHouse and poked around a little, including one of the power point presentations.  Everything seems to be working.  I didn't try to download any of the self-tests, though.  Don't worry; it will all be there waiting for you when you "get back". 

[[TP...]]

I was embarrassed to stay on line talking about my prblems, but Eljay has convinced me that I should not feel ashamed.

 

Certainly not here, bro. 

 

I am done and out depressed, and didn't want to share this fact with others...especially it being a broken record. I just don't want contact with anyone outside the house.

 

It's called isolating. I was so ashamed and so badly didn't want anyone to see me in this condition I literally couldn't go outside in case a neighbor saw me. I still experience depression but not to that degree. Sounds like there's some anxiety involved too. Certainly there was in my case.

 

This is a hard position to be in because I have kids of 15, 13, and 7 and a wife who can't drive. We live in a small town in western NY and the friends are not distance wise close to friends...so I am chauffeur for shopping, and taking kids to parites, over friends in general, and whatever. Can't relax. Everytime phone rings I jump and I am afraid I have to get up and take someone someplace...really jsut want to be left alone. So the hard thing I am facing now is ACTING LIKE I  A NORMAL FATHER AND HUSBAND. I have a wonderful wife, and she of course knows I am depressed, but the kids just think I have a "bad Back", and that is why I am in my room in bed so much.

 

It's a hard position to be in regardless. But we do understand here! Trust me, most of us are either going through it or have been there. I've been out of work 18 months because of it.

 

I have tried all the antidepressants and nothing has worked. I have gained 50 lbs, and feel bad about this. I was always a guy in good shape. Now I feel like a zchlub...and actually look like one. I am ashamed of myself.

 

Tell me about it. I've become a fat git too but I do take anti depressants and in my rare case (for a benzo head), I'm convinced they're helping me. Everyone is different.

 

Son just came in and coughed and I jumped two feet...or that's how I felt inside. This hyper sensitivity to sound and to lying down (feeling of fear enters with shallow breathing) is a horror.

 

Yep. Knew it. Anxiety and agitation. It's so debilitating!

 

As  I am only hoping that this is from benzos. Taking .75 of klonopin now..as recommedned by Colin instead of .5 (1/4 of 2 mg pills I have now, and then half of one of those)as I have stated many times. Regular doctor told me he would up the klonopin if sound sensiotivity continues. Shrink doctor got mad the last time I told him about this and said there is nothing for it. So he gave me Paxil to take. Haven't taken it yet. Yet another chemical to be added to poor nervous system. In short, neither doctor has any clue about coming off one medicaine from another, and especially about benzos. Regular doctor STILL doesn't know that ultram is highly addictive. This is one very strong revelation I ahve had about this whole thing...the doctors know so little about brain pills...even the shrinks. They just summarily hand out these things and tell you to get lost.

 

I had a HUGE setback when I took Ultram ER. Horrible stuff it is.

 

Am so mixed up, don't know what to do.

 

I know. I fully understand and empathize. Been there and it has gotten better. Not GOOD, but well enough to give me hope.

 

Wish I ahd never started with anything concerning these meds.

 

Fully understand - so do I.

 

My brain is fried.

 

It's not actually. It just seems that way. It's the anxiety! And that's from the benzos. WHen you feel better the brain function will return. Trust me!

 

Good luck. 

 

Tony

 

[[tr...]]

 

 

 

My brain is fried.

 

 

They are serving up "fried brain" at my house too!   I can laugh about it now but it wasn't funny a month ago.

 

INB, I will get better.

 

Ts

[[TP...]]

They are serving up "fried brain" at my house too!   I can laugh about it now but it wasn't funny a month ago.

INB, I will get better.

Ts

 

I still have a ways to go but it's definitely improving. BTW: My avatar today expresses how I have felt this spectacular Sunday. Not my best day but not my worst. LOL.

[[...]]

Went to see Dead Sea Scrolls yesterday and was out for whole day with normal people. Almost didn't make the day.

 

Took 1mg of klonopin upon getting home and today I work up better...just ashamped of myself for going over my .75 level.

 

I really don't think a person can work and taper at same time...anyone who has done it, my hats off to you.

 

Today must go shopping with wife and to the gym. Don't want to do this. Just stay in house and do NOTHING...away from everyone. Pathetic...from being a teacher for 30 years to a basket case. And my taper hasn't even really started yet.

 

Feel like alcholic who fell off the wagon.

 

The thing that keeps worrying me, it that I am not sure it will ever be better without the klonopin.

 

What about the underlying depression?

 

INB

 

 

[[si...]]

you will feel better - you most likely have had some days that you felt ok - maybe not matching other peoples outsides - but better compared to have to felt on other days.

 

we are not looking for perfection here - we are not looking to be something no body can be - we are just trying to get off drugs and rebuild our lives.

 

it is much easier to rebuild your life drug free - at least you won't be a zombie anymore.

 

so track your days - any improvement is an improvement - make note of it - not the bad days to - note what lead to the good or the bad days - might be the only thing that separates a good from a bad has nothing to do with your taper -

[[...]]

Okay,

 

Signing off till I start taper in middle of March. I notice I am getting more attention than people who are really in the battle. Want attention to go to them.

 

Will get back around March 17th.

 

Until then, thanks so much everyone for your wisdom, concern, and just plain being there.

 

 

In mean time if anybody finds soemthing that doesn't work on my site...here it is again...classicalmusicproject.com... please let me know. It is what occupies me somewhat and keeps me going. I know now that I will never finish it, but it was fun while doing it. There's a place on the site to leave comments and tell me what is wrong, or unclear.

 

You are only as great as the people that you help.

 

INB

[[Je...]]

Hey INB...stick around.

 

There's enough people here helping to go around.  Sounds like you still need support and an ear to listen even before you start to taper. 

 

and you were a teacher for 30 years?  Wow...my hats off to you!

 

Love,

 

Jen