Please tell me if I'm doing this right!?

[[pa...]]

I'm so mad she even suggested it!  . I would NEVER do that. They do it way to fast and I cannot do that. It was MY idea to come off of them and I should have control over how I do it and how slow it's done. I know the valium isnt nessecary, I just heard good things about it, some bad but alot good. I think I can do it without it but I was just feeling so weak that day that I wanted to do anything I could!

I will probably do tritaion if the cuts dont work well. I'm not in a huge rush but I do want to get off of them sometime this year. If I dont no biggie.

Amanda

[[si...]]

stay cool and mellow in the presence of you medical doctors - start hording your benzo's - stay on your taper - do not share your taper - just hoard hoard hoard - doctors are stupid.

[[Be...]]

(((Amanda)))

 

A few weeks ago I cried when my GP refused to consider prescribing valium and she wouldn't read the materials I brought her from Ashton.  I was so scared of trying to do this without it.  She suggested I just cut doses every 3-5 days and I would be fine.  I knew from my online reading that that was too fast to withdraw.  I felt the same way you do: she was willing to keep on prescribing the benzo indefinitely I guess but wouldn't let me get off of it my way.  Grrrr. 

 

I knew I would only feel worse if I stayed on the ativan/lorazepam, so I came back here and followed the advice I received.  On the really bad days I would post my fears and people who had been through it reassured me the symptoms would pass and would not kill me.  I took control of my taper, even made out an elaborate chart that worked out to me having a goal of being benzo free by July 12 which I will adjust if necessary.  No one can make me cut my dosage sooner than I decide is best for me. It is enormously empowering. (BTW, I just told that doc I wasn't ready to quit without valium support and she had no problem giving me my regular prescription.  Since I am actually taking .75 mg less/day now, I am saving pills to use later if necessary (hoarding)).

 

You sound like you could really be helped by some talk therapy that included changing your thoughts and learning some ways to control your anxiety and alleviate depression.  I hope you will consider checking around for a therapist/counselor who is experienced in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).  I've been seeing such a counselor for about a month now and I know it has helped me get this far.  I'm sure your library has many books on it and there's lots on the Internet about it if you can't find or go to a counselor:  Here's a link to a brief description:

http://www.med.umich.edu/depression/cbt.htm

 

Kathie

 

 

[[pa...]]

I'm going to see a therapist on the 4th. It's my sisters doctor so I get to go witrh her and see if I like her before spending any money on her, which is a really great thing for me right now.

Yesterday I went to see an outpatient program that my drug lady wanted me to see and hopefully go to. It was so depressing just walking in there. It was dirty and smelled and I was so upset that she even wanted me to check it out. I feel like she's just trying to push me off on someone else. I'm waiting on her to call me and talk about it.

Yesterday was ok otherwise but so far today I;m feeling pretty bad. Hoping this doesnt last long.

Oh and I am hoarding! lol. I had a prescription left over from my last doctor and didnt tell my current one so I'm pretty ok on them for the moment!

Amanda

[[pa...]]

Today was a rotten day. I had horrible dizzy spells that made me sit down really fast so I didnt fall. Anxiety through the roof,irratability, sleepy and cant sleep at the same time. Not to mention my daughter's first tooth is coming in, thats always fun.

Sorry just needed someone where talk about how crappy this is.

Amanda

[[si...]]

paxton can you please update your footer so i know what dose you are on now.

 

i noticed that my cuts where really hard for the first 3 days - some cuts where harder then other - some cuts gave me a relief.

 

if you are looking for how you felt before the taper - that may not happen for some time.  the whole withdrawal thing takes time and patience - it is easier for some then others - but most have difficult times.

 

fear amplies side effects - so it is good to familiarize yourself with the symptoms so you don't freak out - work on relaxation exercises and just get comfortable with the process.  you need to focus on your goal sometimes to keep you moving in a positive direction.

[[pa...]]

I hope the footer is better . I am scared and I know that's not helping anything, I'm trying to work on that but I havent been able to get there yet. Someday's have been ok and other's havent. I'm looking at my goal but it seems so far away and scary. I dont know how I'll be without this poision, I cant remember normal. I'll get there. I hope I'm not annoying anyone with my complaining.

Amanda

[[el...]]

I hope I'm not annoying anyone with my complaining.

Amanda

 

Amanda, have you read my blog lately??

 

Jeez, that's what we do here!

[[pa...]]

lol no i havent. now i will. I just dont want to complain too much. I tend to do that. 

[[si...]]

 

your not annoying anyone

[[pa...]]

That's good to hear! Should I start a blog instead of writing here? Is this the appropriate place?

Amanda

[[el...]]

Paxton,

it's fine to keep writing here.

But you can start a blog. It's kind of a nice place to keep all your thoughts together and log your progress.

 

And have some fun too.