Please some more advice

[[el...]]

Hello, every night is scarey and I end up here with my fears.  Had a hard session with the psychologist...doesn’t believe I am terrified of 1/4 cut... is that a psychiatrist strategy?

So stressful flamed up anxiety.  Couldn’t bring myself to taper so at 1 1/2 still.  Tired and weary ...not going well with mds...they wanted permission to talk to each other!?  I said I just want to taper off .  I look at some if the other posts and see I am in a really bad spot fior being on this short while...afternoon dosing issues, withdrawal, anxiety and afraid to taper.  The psychiatrist never called me back about the taper...so don’t have a plan.  Where do I go from here?  No support, no honesty, I believe abusive care. Woke up at one thirty in burning pain.., not sure withdrawal or a

Anxiety.  I am just venting... have a great life as the psychologist keeps pointing out...why?  Is that a problem ?  I can’t live it right now .  My instincts tell me this is not good but can’t get in a good spot.  I guess I should keep going down or I will be in trouble.  Maybe cut 1:8 tomorrow.  Should I just assume I will always feel bad until done? Is it possible to do this?  Understatement ,  Don’t know if I can do it.  Thanks Elise

 

[[el...]]

Question, is it ok to tell them I am in withdrawal in afternoons and nights....does that say addiction? I also think the afternoon symptoms are a serious prob.  I only take it at night.  I know ... need new md. Very hard .  E

[[di...]]

Your psychiatrist sounds like exactly the sort of person I wouldn't want anything to do with making decisions about my taper. That's why myself and others recommend doing everything possible to find somebody else to prescribe the medication. Even if you found someone who knows absolutely nothing about benzos but will go at your pace within reason, we will help you figure out a manageable tapering plan here and your doctor can write the necessary prescriptions. What you have at the moment is a psychiatrist who is denying your reality because it doesn't agree with what they have read in a textbook. It can't get much worse than this. If you can travel further afield to see a psychiatrist who will listen, please please please make the arrangement. This problem is not going away. I'm sorry to say it but it's going to be your battle for the next few months. It won't be very pleasant but it doesn't have to be as bad as this. Even if you had to make a daytrip a couple of times a month, it is better than living in agony every single day. It gets worse, not better, if your psychiatrist won't slow it down to a more reasonable pace.

 

If you want one last push with your current doc, I would suggest having a detailed list of all the horrific symptoms you have suffered during withdrawal and you make it clear that you never suffered anything like this without withdrawing from Xanax. Put it down in writing and read it out yourself. If your doctor interrupts you, make sure you go back to completing your list. Also show them the Ashton Manual. You can start by quoting this excerpt from the introduction:

 

The rate of tapering should never be rigid but should be flexible and controlled by the patient, not the doctor, according to the patient's individual needs which are different in every case.

 

If your psychiatrist is not prepared to listen to reason, you really need to find a replacement as a matter of urgency.

 

Can I ask exactly what is stopping you finding someone else? If it has anything to do with convenience, I would encourage you to forget about that. You need a doctor who isn't terrible.

[[el...]]

I know ... we are in a rural area...my internist would not recommend one.  I have an appointment Friday with her, it is so political not sure she will prescribe fior me. The two psych people are trying to tie things up and don’t want me talking to anyone about this.  They say important to keep it contained! Since I talked again to the internist the psychiatrist ? Coincidently changed the taper.. 

I don’t know why I can’t find someone.  Such small town., the ones I found are incompetent.  My husband also doesn’t get it .,,he thinks these people are fine.  He says just do it.  I guess this is all so out of my league... I will call some people tomorrow..., also find when I reach out people don’t understand Xanax and why I am having a hard times finding someone.  I find the 1 1/2 tablet is not working right now.. if I found a doctor out if state can they prescribe fir me?  I wonder if it is the drug.. too powerful For me it and my anxiety plus day to day the drug makes me forget!!!! Way to strong a prescription fir me. I so appreciate what you are saying and that you are here saying it. Elise

[[di...]]

I'm not in the USA. I don't know anything about writing prescriptions for someone out of state. I hope somebody else who understands the  landscape better than me can make some practical suggestions. Do you think that your husband would read the Ashton Manual that I linked? It's not a fringe opinion that dose reductions need to be small enough that symptoms are manageable and that some people are more sensitive than others. Anybody who knows anything about withdrawing from these medications knows it. For some ludicrous reason, psychiatrists who prescribe these medications aren't required to learn in any detail about how to withdraw safely. It's absolutely crazy but it is the reality that you are dealing with.

[Guest [ba...]]

These are addicting drugs and you seem to have become dependent/addicted to them.  That's what happened to just about everybody in this forum.

 

I understand that your options may be fewer in a rural location.  If this is the only person available to work with, then maybe you can figure out a way to work with him more effectively.

 

Maybe it will be more effective to talk about specific physical/mental symptoms and less about your fear of an upcoming cut.  Use the pain scale appropriately to describe your symptoms (9's and 10's are very rare).  Internal shaking will be difficult to demonstrate, but there's usually also some external tremor that he should be able to observe. 

[[ba...]]

I would highly suggest you force your husband to read the Ashton Manual, Elise.

 

I'm so sorry you are in the state you are in. I feel your pain. I would recommend calling any doctor's offices in your state that you can. With COVID and everything, you could see a doctor through a Zoom-Meeting link (video chat) who better understands benzos. AND IT CAN JUST BE A NORMAL DOCTOR. Just try to find SOMEONE who has prescription power and understands benzo withdrawal. My general-practitioner used to write my anti-depressant scripts until I sought out therapy sessions. It doesn't ALWAYS have to be a psychiatrist...as I know the wait list to see a new one is usually long.

 

Search online and call every doctor office you can...you will find an sympathic nurse somewhere who will refer you to the right person. and this can all be done ONLINE or over the PHONE! They may need your medical history files.

 

That's what I'd be doing in your situation.

 

Also, remember that FEAR is very NORMAL during withdrawal. When I get fearful and jumpy I remind myself to be aware this is NORMAL HEALING. It's comforting to remind yourself the fear you are feeling is normal. Hang in there. 

[Guest [pa...]]

I'm not in the USA. I don't know anything about writing prescriptions for someone out of state. I hope somebody else who understands the  landscape better than me can make some practical suggestions. Do you think that your husband would read the Ashton Manual that I linked? It's not a fringe opinion that dose reductions need to be small enough that symptoms are manageable and that some people are more sensitive than others. Anybody who knows anything about withdrawing from these medications knows it. For some ludicrous reason, psychiatrists who prescribe these medications aren't required to learn in any detail about how to withdraw safely. It's absolutely crazy but it is the reality that you are dealing with.

 

Also drug companies usually don't make pills small enough for taper. It's as if you're never meant to go off the drugs.

[[el...]]

Thank you fir the responses and suggestions.  I did get a prescription for two months.  I am holding at 1 and 1/2 Tablets but yesterday and last night felt strong withdrawal... nit sure why.  Morning was good. then it started.  I think the stress the doctors cause and pushing me from the start when I was poised to do well. They are stil  pushing want me to try a quarter cut if doesn’t work can do an 2/8 th.  This is psychological torture.  Took the bedtime dose andwokevuo with withdrawal and numB arms.  She says a lot of opposite things and the way this has consistently worked I wonder if she is a little off  Anyway..I also wonder if will have to go up and start all over?  Should i stay and hold even though pretty bad? I hunk I will.  Looking at doctors still.  Have some leads.  Thank you fir the support, it really is appreciated and makes things better.  I hope I keep moving in the right direction, Elise

 

[[el...]]

That was meant to say 1 1/8 taper.  I did use the symptom strategy as opposed to fear..  once dependence sets in and you have symptoms also symptoms from the dosing., only take at bedtime, dies that set one up for continued symptoms when / if  you get off?  Night stiff neck is terrible, she said it is stress. Thank you elise

[[el...]]

Thank you for the strategy suggestions, really helped and the support makes this easier.  The dependence has gotten worse.. in bed all day yesterday pretty much after 11 am.  Could dosing do that?  Woul be hard to split this dose up and wouldn’t know how.    I wonder if she waited on purpose to help me ...this has been going on for months if suffering... trying to figure out what was going on and I suspect she knew.  I wasn’t well enough to think clearly to take action.  Now same is true... I think a little clearer but hard.  Symptoms present longer and longer.  So do people taper in withdrawal?  I guess as tolerated.  The reality of this for me is Profound. I look at those one and a half pills each night and have a lot of ground with symptoms to cover.  Thank you, eluse

[[Pa...]]

I'm looking at your signature, are you still at .38 mgs of Xanax?

[[di...]]

hi again elise,

 

I would not take more if I was you. Isn't there the problem that if you do that, you will run out of pills? You don't want to run out of pills. Also, taking more doesn't help as much as you think and gives you more of a problem in the future. I would stay at the dose you are at. You won't magically feel all better but you should start to feel better than before. I'm sorry you've had difficulty thinking clearly and this has made some things worse. This has happened to me before. I got some terrible advice that made me ill and then I couldn't think clearly enough to help myself. I found a way through it and so will you.

[[el...]]

Yes, still at .375mg Xanax

[[or...]]

elise, just a thought. I live in a very rural area of OR and absolutely HAD to change drug prescribers. The psychiatrist I was seeing was a jerk, my doc did not want to prescribe "psych drugs" lol . . . so I started calling nurse practitioners. I found one who would work with me. She didn't know anything about benzo w/d (I didn't expect or need her to) but was willing to support my taper. I explained that all I really needed her for was to keep on prescribing valium for me -- I'd take care of my taper schedule. So maybe that would be a possibility?

 

Hope things work out for you. Jeez, Louise, all we need is someone to keep prescribing our benzo. We can take care of our taper speed.

 

Oh, I saw her once a month and kept her updated in between meetings by e-mail regarding my reductions. Things worked out very well.

 

Best to you,

 

Katz

[[el...]]

So I have been on .375 for 10 nights.  Night befire slept most of night.  Tonite awake at 2 with headache and burning.  Wish I had understood what would happen to me ...should have been tapering more before this.  So my question is I am thinking iof cutting the 1/8 Tomorrow.  I am sorry if repetitive about this.  Is this what one does .., taper with dependence?  I am so bummed waited so long.  I would think the tolerance will just get worse.  The 1/4 cut they want proabaly would not work well?  I will not keep asking this , but my mind seems clearer tonite...today for some reason not much physical symptoms,,,more anxiety.  Thank you for your patience and answers.  Can you get iff in tolerance.  Thank you so much. Eluse

[[di...]]

Usually I would suggest to hold the dose when someone has been having such horrible symptoms as you have. 10 days is not a lot of time between cuts and especially not if you have been having terrible symptoms. There isn't much we can be certain of in benzo withdrawal but if you make a cut now, you will almost certainly be plunged into severe withdrawals, which you have struggled to cope with.

 

The thing is, I know you're having difficulties with your prescribing physician and I don't want to make any suggestions that will lead to running out of pills, because that could land you in a terrible situation. Holding for a couple of weeks at the dose you are at, then making smaller reductions than you have been making, should make this process more manageable for you. If that is something you are in a position to do, I recommend doing it. If not, the only advice that makes sense for me to give is the same as I have already given... do everything to fix the problem of your doctor not allowing you to reduce slowly. If you can't get the pills for a slower taper, you're going to be very sick and nothing anybody here says can change that.

 

I can tell from your writing that you are thinking more clearly. At the same time, I can tell that your mind is still racing all over the place. I can't explain to you how much the size of your reductions are a big deal in this. Some things can be compromised on but not this.

[[el...]]

So awoke again. But 6 hours sleep so far ....nit bad.  My cuts of .o3 mg are 7 percent. Tiny, peices.  I think I can do that, when I taoer? 

I truly think the prescriber waited this to happen.  My internist I think wanted to rush me with 1/4 but already too late?  I listened to the wrong person and nothing was explained to me.  I need to push..

so what do you think of my 2/7 cuts?  My oresriber would work with this I think.  She also said if did ,06 mg I could take weeks in between.  I don’t mean to be difficult ..just trying to figure out.  I am also backing off seeing some of the doctors to decrease stress. Thank you so much.  Elise

 

 

[[el...]]

Skirt again meant 1/8 cuts?

[[el...]]

Geez, sorry for typos ..meant .03 mg, 1/8 th cuts. E

[[el...]]

Lastly, dies dependence just get worse... need to get moving?  Do people really do this and recover?  I have a relatively small dose to go...I guess but not really.

[[di...]]

That's good that you got them to slow it down. Take as long as they will let you just to feel better after going too fast and then reduce at the lower rate you agreed. You still have a journey ahead of you but it's not all gonna be as bad as it has been recently.

[[ki...]]

Hi I'm available if you need support. I went through quite a long horrific withdrawal that I thought would never end.

 

You are stronger than you think! There is an ending to this!

 

[edit: personal contact information removed]

[[el...]]

I am sad to say I have pressure after ten days to taper and so thought I would do the .03mg 7 percent 1/8 th cut.  My husband just has had it.  I thank you fir all your advice.  Afternoons over the months I have developed symptoms on the drug and before it was normal.  Over the months it has gotten worse .  Like a withdrawal....or just time of day.  I have been slow in the uptake with this tapering.  I hope I have not ruined myself.  I don’t think my md is going to go fir 3 weeks off.  My side effects from the drug o whatever it is have been hard.  I can’t tell if Ian in withdrawal or if it is side effects.  So if you go into severe withdrawal...what does one do? E

[[el...]]

Diez e bam ,  thank you fir your responses.  You were so right, I should have stayed in one and a half longer.  I had so much pressure from my

Husband and doctir... two nights I just did .03 mgb cut... bad headache sweating, etc,  I don’t know what to do? I am cutting the 1/4 and 1/8 of the pills with a knife and thought it was just from that.  I am taking 1 1/4  and 1/8 pill.    ADoes this mean I have failed.  I told my md I thought I was in kwithdrawal and she Never said snything.  It seems every step for past months has been bad.  I never can judge the right call.  Any suggestion appreciated, Elise