Looking for old buddies who quit 2016/17 or 2018?

[[Me...]]

I feel like I’ve lost so much, my youth, my beauty, maybe my ability to ever have children or be independent again, my brain is broken my body isn’t strong like it should be for 28, I just want to give up today, I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m too tired and too sad and I just feel broken

 

 

Beans don’t give up. You haven’t lost!!! You’re ONLY 28. That’s so young! I have grieved over my 20’s....but realized omg 28? I’m not even old.

[[di...]]

I had thoughts like that Beans. I know you've been waiting longer and that's not good or fair, but it doesn't mean you're not going to get there. You will. When you do, you'll see that you're still young with your life ahead of you. The way you perceive the world now will not stay with you when you're looking back on this. Life will be good again and you'll have a fresh appreciation for it.

 

As for lost time... I think you will eventually not see this experience as lost time. It's a huge learning experience for anybody that gets through it. I believe that looking back we will view this period of our life as a key part of developing who we are, for the better. For now, we just have to get through it, just focusing on survival if that's all that you have.

 

I know you can keep going and I know you're going to improve.

[[Me...]]

Bam this made me tear up.

Now that I’m feeling healed....(which happened SO FAST BTW).....

I’m asking myself who am I? And realizing I’m one bad a$$ chick for going through this. Holy moly

 

And I’ll find myself. I will.

[[di...]]

I don't think many are sure who they are at 28, to be honest. If you figure it out soon, you're probably ahead of the average person. I think it's right to take a lot of confidence from the fact that you could do this. You might never know how you managed but you'll always know that you did it. I think that we have both (as many others too) learned the valuable lesson that we are stronger than we previously thought. We are capable of overcoming a lot. You don't have to worry too much about exactly how things are going to happen if you're confident in your ability to adapt.

 

[[Me...]]

Agree. Wow wish we could hug this over with everyone and cry about it together. This is such a relief.

 

I realized today that I’m more grateful for this healing than anything ever in my life. Like 28 christmases all wrapped into one. Or like the birth of all your children at one time. It’s incredible

[[Li...]]

Hey Lex, I cold turkeyed around May of 2017.

[[...]]

Hey Gang!

 

29th of May 2017... I am headed towards 44 months off in a week's time. That will amount to 3 years and 7 months! And I keep telling myself I am glad I didn't know back then how I'd be this far out... I was hoping to start being a bit more like myself within the months after not being on this poly-med cocktail 

 

Well, anyhow. We are healing and have been now for quite a while. That DOES amount to SOMETHING! 

 

If you are around Lexxant, I hope you are doing much better, Buddy, and I wanted to say thank you for initiating this thread too. It was a great idea, because most people from those days are (thankfully!) off in the world living their lives. Sure, there might still be some symptoms to deal with now and then, for some, but so much more manageable that they can comfortably forget a little about logging into BBs. That's my wish for everyone on this forum! 

 

Regarding the matter of therapists, Neely, you are SO LUCKY to have found doctors who validate you! Oh my Goodness, how I envy you! I've stopped wishing for any of that to happen to me. I tell myself that my energy is much better put into other things rather than trying to convince anyone that what I am going through is real, and yes, caused by the meds, and yes, still withdrawal this far out, and yes yes yes, that we do get better and heal!!! And F* NO, don't tell me that I am not trying hard enough!!! (I still hear that from some family members and it angers me so much... and hurts even more...  :'() - BUT what matters is that WE KNOW. WE BELIEVE.

 

And having Buddies by your side... all I can say is THANK YOU, my Friends. To all of those who have ever crossed my path and with whom we have shared some words of support and comfort: THANK YOU  :smitten: I feel so grateful... 

 

Warm healing hugs to all 

 

Julz xx

 

JULZ! Oh, my stars...I seriously feel like I am meeting a CELEBRITY! LOL. I am SO honored to finally make your esteemed acquaintance.  I have been reading and devouring and deconstructing and taking notes on your posts since the very first day I signed onto these boards. You and your words have helped me SO MUCH. So, THANK YOU FOR THAT!

 

I am sorry to hear that you are back in the bastard weeds this far out...but it does sound overall like you are at least moving in the right direction — as are we all. Though, of course, not NEARLY fast enough. I am 27 months out and I STILL wake up everyday in UTTER DISBELIEF that I am still enduring this madness. It is just INCOMPREHENSIBLE that 60ish pills could do this to a human — and yet, here I am. Weak, shaky, dizzy, queasy, foggy, spasmy, TEMPESTY. STILL. But, it is ALL OF YOU who are so generous with your words and experiences, who many days keep me going. Yes, my family, my friends, and my doctors actually BELIEVE ME...but, no matter how hard they might try...they can NEVER EVER EVER fully understand the HORROR and TORMENT of this beast in the same way that someone who has experienced it can. It is just impossible. I know that if I had never gone through this myself, I NEVER COULD HAVE BELIEVED IT TO BE POSSIBLE...because it just simply is NOT POSSIBLE TO SUFFER THIS LONG and THIS HORRIFICALLY FROM AN INJURY THAT WILL NOT ACTUALLY KILL YOU.

 

And yet...here we all are. Relentlessly on these boards...trying to save ourselves and each other from one of the worst experiences many of us will EVER endure and survive. But, we WILL survive. I say it to myself EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY:

 

This B**** WILL NOT BEAT ME.

 

HA!

 

And she WON’T.

 

xoxo

Neely

 

Oh Neely, me? A celebrity?!  You're a Sweetheart! 

 

Arg, Buddie, I am so very sorry to read all your struggles...  :'( ...yeah, this hurts bad, doesn't it... but you know you are healing every second of it. I know you do! This B WILL NOT beat you 

 

I'm just glad if my words have helped in any way they could... that's what we do here on BBs, right, we are here to join hands and get through this together.

 

What is most important, is to know that if someone else's words seem to ignite something within you - it is just and exactly that... you have the light within, you've had it all along.. and you will always have it 

 

But yes, let's join hands, let's walk this road together. Our lights will shine brighter! 

[[...]]

Cant, LiveAboveIt, Meganz, Diaz, Beans... warm healing hugs to all of you! 

 

(in the depths of the midday wave... hence can't write much more...  )

[[di...]]

Looks like this thread turned into a love festival... I'm all for that!

 

Hugs all round from me, too. It's really heart-warming that people who still have enormous struggles can be so grateful for the lives they have. Nice to feel a part of it too. I really feel that way but this time last year it was a very different story.

 

Happy healing holidays to all in this thread.

[[Me...]]

Happy holidays all!! Sadly went back into a wave of brain fog and back pain today. Feeling out of it. Hope it passes in time for Christmas Eve!

[[...]]

Happy Holidays, my Friends 

 

May Christmas bring magical healing light... some peace and joy to our hearts and souls.

 

 

Julz