Is tapering harder for older people or for folks with preexisting conditions?

[[el...]]

Genie,

 

Today I had a WINDOW!!!!  I could see the old me with all the imperfections I used to dwell on.  And you know what?  I was HAPPY:yippee: to see them.  I certainly wasn't perfect but I was me. And I can live with that now without the drugs. I no longer expect myself to be perfect. I may have to go live in a cave with a bear, but so be it........ I don't want that window to close, but if it does I now know it will open again.

 

You will find yourself, too.  You are in there, you just have to get well enough to come to the surface.  It's like being in the ocean and getting hit by a big wave that takes you to the bottom and scrapes you across the sand. You surface battered, bruised and bleeding, but you do surface happy that you can breathe.  And then you think "Damn, that hurt!"

 

Wishing windows for you,

TS

 

Great post, TS.

[[si...]]

today i accept myself

 

but i have become much picker about what i will accept from others - just joking - when we accept ourselves it is easier to deal with other people to.

[[ge...]]

Rufus,

 

You are to be admired and you set a good example. I used to set a pretty good example myself the last time around, until I was hit with a second illness. Now, withdrawal is only one of my problems. I made an appointment with a CBT therapist whom I'll see in two weeks. She knows my regular doctor, and I also will need more blood work regarding the babesia. Like you, I have adverse reactions to many different drugs. That's the quandary I'm in. If I knew I could tolerate an antidepressant, I'd take one in a heartbeat, but, after having had adverse reactions to at least four of them, I am afraid depression is my middle name for now, at least.

 

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ENCOURAGMENT!

 

Love,

Genie

[[Pe...]]

Hi,

Are you the same Summer that has been posting on the medhelp site? I am the same Peaches

 

I never looked at this thread before. I am 64, guess that would be considered "older", was just a teenager yesterday

 

Being on xanax since 1991, tapering down from 3 mgs to 2 ms in 2005-2006 and recently in December beginning a new taper with more information, thats to this site and medhelp, ( benzo.org uk is a bit confusing), I di get the Ashton Manual, but am finding out here that many folks seem to taper and withdraw perfectly well without switching to another benzo ( valium is what Ashton uses).

 

When i tried a .5 mg step down in December I got very sick and disoriented. Incredible headaches, body aches, disorientation, nausea, felt really crazy.

 

On the .25 mg step down in January after returning to the 2 mg doses as recommended by my doctor, seems fine. Being older and have such a long time use of xanax, should i taper more slowly than a younger person who has been on benzos for a shorter period of time?

 

Also I am a cancer survivor (2001), have almost 7 years cancer free and DO NOT WISH TO MEDDLE WITH MY IMMUNE SYSTEM.

I know stress is a big factor in cancer and keeping my stress level managable may be more critical for a person in my situation.

 

Any help, suggestions, shared experience would be most welcome.

 

Thanks, peaches

 

 

[[ge...]]

TS,

 

I never thought for a moment you were advocating C/T. I am just so glad you had a window! Everyone is so different, when it comes to withdrawal. Because of my recent babesia diagnosis, and the recurrent sweating, I had to slow down my taper, and I am upset about this. But, I never intend to updose again -- unless I become terminally ill. I should not complain. Debbie, one of my closes friends, was recently diagnosed with Stage IV ovarian cancer. She had a hysterectomy, a colostomy (has to wear a bag now), chemo, which caused major hair loss, and now she just learned the cancer has spread to her lungs. She is younger than I - 53 -- and I would not want to trade places with her, although my life and future are quite uncertain right now. I wish I could just ACCEPT things more and focus on this taper and not worry about the future. This is why I am going to see a counselor in a few weeks. She is friends with my benzo doctor, and maybe she'll be able to give me some hope. I honestly don't know if the deep depression I'm experiencing has to do with taking the Valium, dealing with the unstable thyroid or knowing that babesia can become serious -- probably all of the above.  You mentioned bears, TS, and I recently wrote a poem "If I were a bear" -- meaning I wish I could just hibernate and come out of this well again. Don't we all wish that. You have a way with words, that's for sure. Maybe you should try writing benzo poems!

 

Love,

Genie

[[ru...]]

Thanks, Genie. I used to read your posts when I was first here since it was my thyroid problem that got me on benzos in the first place, and I found your posts to be such a help! Thank you.

 

My guess is your depression is a mix of valium and thyroid. I had that too, esp. when I went hypothyroid.  Oh the things I couldn't read because I'd start crying! Ugh. I'm glad that's over with. And aren't you getting off female hormones too? That can also make your depressed-- or at least more emotionally fragile.

 

rufus

[[Su...]]

Peaches,

Yes, it's me.  The same Summer. 

[[tr...]]

Hi Genie,

 

I know what you mean about the sweating.  I was so hot last summer I thought I would melt!!  I didn't know why I was sweating so bad but now I do.  I was in tolerance.  It was miserable.

 

Good luck with your dr. it is always good to find someone that will try to help and give you hope.  I hope she is all you need for her to be.

[[tr...]]

I hit post before I was ready.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  I will remember her in my prayers.  Regardless of how bad we have it, it could always be worse.  Sometime we don't think that until we hear about someone else.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I've never thought about writing poetry.  I don't think I'm that talented.  I don't think I have found my niche in life, it keeps evading me.  I keep looking though.  That is what makes me so angry about these drugs and w/d, it is/has taken so much from life. 

 

I'm having a bad day today, yesterday wasn't wonderful but today is worse.  I've been reading others post and just hanging out.  I haven't been on my walks for 2 days now. 

 

I have started  Tropicalsoul's blog.  I would like to invite everyone to visit me there.  I appreciate everyone and what they do here.  It is very important to share info. and emotions.  It lets each of know that we are not alone in this mess and we have people who understand what we are going through.  Even if we don't understand it ourselves.

 

:smitten:

 

[[ge...]]

Rufus,

 

I am glad my posts used to help you. Now I'm the one who needs all the help I can get. I really think that it's more a problem with babesia which is making my life Hellish. The thyroid last time around was better, but now I was diagnosed with this stupid babesia, and two docs said the cure is worse than the illness. The cure involves antiprotozoals which resemble fluoroquinolone antibiotics. Neither doc wants me to take the meds -- yet, but eventually, if things get worse, I will have no choice. I did C/T off hormones, but this has not bothered me in months. So, I have to think it's the babesia. What next? Life just isn't fair!

 

Love,

Genie

[[ge...]]

TS,

 

The sweating is the pits, but I really think it's a combo of withdrawal and babesia. My friend is in a sorry state, and I doubt she will recover. What I have is also serious, but it isn't Stage IV cancer!!! I have to be grateful for small favors, even though I can't sleep tonight because of abdominal spasms. I saw your blog and posted to it. I think you have writing ability... perhaps not poetry, but certainly prose. It's hard to know what we can or can't do when we're in withdrawal. Strange that I had a window four days ago and send in an entire poetry anthology to my publisher. Today, I couldn't even submit one poem.. sigh. Ah, the joys of withdrawal, and babesia stinks!

 

Love,

Genie

[[si...]]

genie some people do have a much harder time then others - there are some on this forum that are having a very hard time.

 

and i know what you mean about not wanting to trade places - our lives may be difficult but few would actually trade places with others if they really knew what challenges that face and we all face challenges.

[[on...]]

hi genie - i was told i was mentally ill after caring for my dying father, raising a 13 yr, working full time and getting fibromyalgia - so i had that nut sign over my head - total exhaustion, depression, autoimmune disease - and got fired three times in a yr and a half because i developed bursitis and couldn't move my fingers to type.  then my significant other freaked and told me to move out - that he didn't buy a house so he could take care of me - well that just was the straw that broke the camels back - as he got into his car to lay rubber on the way to work - i opened the door and yelled - HEY DOES THIS MEAN YOU ARNE"T GONNA MARRY ME" - and then i just doubled over in laughter - cause ya know - who would of thought after all of that things could get worse.

 

so i had some serious issues accompanying my benzo use - i think most of us had pre existing outside strains that led us to benzo's - they may have only been situational - but then we got a labels of being emotionally disturbed - there is no room for tragedy/life events in our culture - there is only room for an automatic robotic response to everything - deviate from the norm and you will be labeled and the only treatment is "here take these for the rest of your life and don't call me."

 

so i am glad you doctor is being proactive going thru withdrawals is really hard on your body and the sooner you get off the sooner you can begin to heal.  i am not saying it will be easy - but after it is done the real healing can begin.

 

i am in cognitive therapy right now to help me deal with fear, anger and disassociation from drugs - the disassociation pretty much stopped a week or two off drugs.

 

so yes there are real issues to deal with - many of us have them - but working thru them instead of covering them up is more effective.  and trying to work through issues when drugged is like fighting in the dark with one hand tied behind you back.

 

 

WOW!!! I'm sorry to hear, what you've all gone though, while tapering and all. Thats rough!

 

Hope Your doing better!

Becky

[[on...]]

When I was tapering and titrating, I was 51 years old, perimenopausal, diagnosed with Graves' Disease and dealing with my thyroid dying off due to radioactive iodine treatment, and asthmatic. As I titrated that last bit of diazepam, I also had to taper off my methimazole.  I can't take betablockers because of the asthma so whatever tachycardia I had, I had to deal with using calcium channel blockers instead.

 

But now, almost 11 months off, I lead a normal life. I only take levythyroxine (thyroid replacement) in the mornings but other than that, everything is back to normal.

 

I made it through. And you can too.

 

rufus

 

 

 

WOW! you got the radioactive iodine treatment, for your hyperthyroid, if my thyroid is messed up, I would probably rather take beta blockers, than something that distroys some of my thyroid.

 

Sorry to hear that.

[[on...]]

Genie, you WILL get off this stuff and you WILL get back to being yourself. As you say, anything can kill us but I don't think we die until it's time for us to go.

 

I've had allergies all my life, big honking profound allergies, esp. to meds. As a kid I learned what antibiotics I could take and routinely spouted them off whenever I had a new doctor. Most docs hate that. LOL! So I guess you could say that was a pre-existing condition as well, esp. since I can't take any beta blockers.

 

But hey, here I am, still kicking. And you're here too, and you're gonna make it!!!!

 

rufus

 

You couldn't take beta blockers,  than thats probley why you had to use the iodine.