Why tempers?

[[Be...]]

Why do some people have tempers and some don't?  Why do some people abuse others and some don't?  I know a few people in my life who never ever abuse others and are always kind.  Every place I've worked there has been at least one person who was always been kind to me and never got angry, but the majority were not so nice.  My one sister is one who never ever abused me or raised her voice to anyone although she picked on me a bit when we were kids.  I've had a few bf's who were always kind, but quite a few who were very abusive.  I only think about the nice people in my past now for a comforting memory.  I seem to get abused by alot of people when I haven't done anything to purposely try to hurt them. 

[[Be...]]

I sure would like to hear thoughts about why some people are mean and have tempers and abuse others and some people don't.  Is it hereditary and are people born this way or is it acquired from bad experiences in life?

[Guest [sc...]]

I think people who were abused as children have a tendency to be abusive as adults.

[[Bl...]]

I sure would like to hear thoughts about why some people are mean and have tempers and abuse others and some people don't.  Is it hereditary and are people born this way or is it acquired from bad experiences in life?

 

It’s both.

 

People can change if  they choose to. It takes work and effort, but the results of better relationships are worth any effort it takes to change from being hurtful to being kind.

 

Our environment…what we read and watch and listen to, as examples, can greatly influence/mold our thinking and behavior.

 

Marketers are fully aware of the power behind advertising. People in politics and news media learn to use words, mannerisms, tone of voice, just about anything and everything to mold the masses to think and act a certain way.

 

Propaganda is a powerful tool. History only need be studied to see how malleable the masses can become….over night.

[[cl...]]

I can relate Becks. I have a problem letting go of the negative things people have said and done to me. I seem to want to fix myself. Following...

[Guest [Sk...]]

I think people who were abused as children have a tendency to be abusive as adults.

 

  :(

 

It can go one of two ways the abused turn to controlling others by abuse

or

the abused are constant victims of abusers later in life.

 

https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/effects-child-abuse-and-neglect-adult-survivors

 

Research suggests that adults, particularly women, who were victimised as children are at risk of re-victimisation in later life  Findings from the Australian component of the International Violence Against Women Survey (IVAWS) indicated that 72% of women who experienced either physical or sexual abuse as a child also experienced violence in adulthood, compared to 43% of women who did not experience childhood abuse. Further to this, a review of approximately 90 sexual victimisation studies found that over 30 studies had reported a link between child sexual assault and sexual re-victimisation in adulthood (Classen, Gronskaya Palesh, & Aggarwal, 2005).

 

https://www.nytimes.com/1989/01/24/science/sad-legacy-of-abuse-the-search-for-remedies.html

 

Studies also now indicate that about one-third of people who are abused in childhood will become abusers themselves.

[[Be...]]

There are 3 girls in my family, myself and 2 siblings all raised by the same father and mother.  My one sister can be mean and abusive and critical and yell, and myself and my other sister don't yell at people ever.  How did that happen.  I never lay into anyone verbally if they haven't done anything mean to me, only if I need to defend myself from their abuse.  There are plenty of people in this world who just lay into other people who haven't hurt them for no good reason.  It's evil.