Google Pizza

[[Ph...]]

Found this in my email and thought I'd share it.

 

CALLER:

Is this Gordon's Pizza?

 

GOOGLE:

No sir, it's Google Pizza.

 

CALLER:

I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.

 

GOOGLE:

No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

 

CALLER:

OK.  I would like to order a pizza.

 

GOOGLE:

Do you want your usual, sir?

 

CALLER:

My usual? You know me?

 

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

 

CALLER:

OK! That’s what I want.

 

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

 

CALLER:

What? I detest vegetable!.

 

GOOGLE:

Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

 

CALLER:

How the hell do you know!

 

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

 

CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.

 

GOOGLE:  Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

 

CALLER:

I bought more from another drugstore.

 

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

 

CALLER:

I paid in cash.

 

GOOGLE:

But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

 

CALLER:

I have other sources of cash.

 

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

 

CALLER:

WHAT THE HELL!!!

 

GOOGLE:

I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

 

CALLER:

Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without Internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

 

GOOGLE:

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago…

 

 

 

[[...]]

  :laugh:

 

Thanks for sharing! 

[Guest [Sk...]]

:laugh: :laugh:   

[[Fl...]]

This would be really funny if it weren't so accurate.

[[Fl...]]

:laugh:

 

I agree with FG...2 darn accurate!

 

In fact; it freaks me out just how much we can be traced.

I’m off FB, I’ve never been on Twitter, Instagram, or other Apps. Heck, I’ve only had my first iPhone for about 5 months.  My daughters wore me down 

 

The other day I went for a walk, and snapped a picture. When I got home I decided to look at it. This darn phone labeled exactly where I was when I took it! WTH!  It freaked me out!

I didn’t realize I had to turn off tracking.

 

Just creepy.

 

On the upside...this made me laugh at 4:08am Texas time 

 

Thanx FG...I needed that 

[[Ph...]]

:laugh:

 

I agree with FG...2 darn accurate!

 

In fact; it freaks me out just how much we can be traced.

I’m off FB, I’ve never been on Twitter, Instagram, or other Apps. Heck, I’ve only had my first iPhone for about 5 months.  My daughters wore me down 

 

The other day I went for a walk, and snapped a picture. When I got home I decided to look at it. This darn phone labeled exactly where I was when I took it! WTH!  It freaked me out!

I didn’t realize I had to turn off tracking.

 

Just creepy.

 

On the upside...this made me laugh at 4:08am Texas time 

 

Thanx FG...I needed that 

 

It's about to get much creepier.  In a few years the person you're ordering a pizza from might not even be human.  For those who aren't yet aware of this, here's a demonstration:

 

https://www.theverge.com/2018/5/8/17332070/google-assistant-makes-phone-call-demo-duplex-io-2018

[[Gw...]]

Too funny, too accurate...well done! 

[Guest [Sk...]]

:laugh:

 

I agree with FG...2 darn accurate!

 

In fact; it freaks me out just how much we can be traced.

I’m off FB, I’ve never been on Twitter, Instagram, or other Apps. Heck, I’ve only had my first iPhone for about 5 months.  My daughters wore me down 

 

The other day I went for a walk, and snapped a picture. When I got home I decided to look at it. This darn phone labeled exactly where I was when I took it! WTH!  It freaked me out!

I didn’t realize I had to turn off tracking.

 

Just creepy.

 

On the upside...this made me laugh at 4:08am Texas time 

 

Thanx FG...I needed that 

 

It's about to get much creepier.  In a few years the person you're ordering a pizza from might not even be human.  For those who aren't yet aware of this, here's a demonstration:

 

https://www.theverge.com/2018/5/8/17332070/google-assistant-makes-phone-call-demo-duplex-io-2018

 

:laugh:   and scary too