What is worse? CT or tapering if wanting to be yourself again

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All  I found that there are Dr's wiling to try anything however what they were trying was base on the prescription sold by the drug rep, the manufatuer

and keeping the patients coming in at about 100 a piece for 5 minutes. I soon had to realize the Dr.had or has no idea what he/or she is giving out like candy can ruin your life. So the same people we turned to for relief perhaps after our panic disorg er has resolved, do not understand we we more or less addicted to the cure. I learned everyone i know and went through from others, not from Dr's. I know if I get off this merry go round of drugs and admit i am addicted to a Benz or more i can cure myself. all these other drugs given lighten the load of benzo addiction but in the end they have to be dealt with as well. I got this "addiction" because I got panic disorder and at the time, Xanax was sold as non addicting. Well i found out after wanting to get rid of it and get my life back it is one of the most addicting drugs around and a Dr. has no idea how long it takes to beat it. The rebound symptoms do not help. The substitutes to help you cope or sleep have their own unique withdrawals. The more I found out the more I found I should have tried anything but Xanax, but at the time is was 'safe'. After 30 years plus it is not at all safe, that it takes a certain person to deal with all the side effects. if you read the Kucher manual you will find how much you were fooled. so I have many people telling me to stay on the drug, however I am one of those who cannot sleep unless the drug is given beyond FDA rules. So i linger insomnia or nothing. Just to get it out of my system. I found how easy it is for ER staff, and others to just put you back on the drug to solve your problems, but to solve your problems you need no drug, you need a way to deal with everyday stress or negative thinking. Think how easy after practice to control your anxiety Just give me a chance I say lord. just a chance. all the Dr visits all the looseends and downright lies make you want to become an advocate for those of us who have no where to turn except here. I know I can be healed with help from the community, but of all things i have done in my life, this as everyone would agree is the worst thing to deal with because of so much non information, misinformation, to where if someone opened a clinic, had the money and specialized in Benzo withdrawal we would learn much more rather than Dr and healthcare providers and those 50,000 rehab joints that we have more understanding, experience, and will to start our own clinics. Sooner or later with help from each other we will concur this monster of an addiction. We went for help and yes the issue was resolved but now we want our lives back, to which we hear everything under the Sun. Patients or former addicts would be welcome and I believe these drugs sometime getting off will big business. Rightnow they ignore the addicted in order to make money not only off the drug but off the so called treatment and that is just not right. We have to make everyone aware this is the USA's biggest drug problem, or at least second. Big Pharma could pay for each of us to be rehabbbedover and over because of the profit they make off their victims. We need a hero.