Love and Support for Bluebell

[[be...]]

Oh Blue I did not know it has only been 10 days since you lost your Mom, it is way too soon to be bucking up as your friend wants you to do, and I know it took me a long time, the thing that helped me the most, was the realization that she was safe and knew she was going to a good place, but trust me I would not have been able to wipe off in 10 days, heck Blue scream shout, whatever you need to do, this is your pain and you take the time you need, it will get better, in time. Best to you and to Lovely Fluter that has such a good kind heart. My Music bud. :smitten:

[[Bl...]]

PS: I am even thinking of having a manicure and having my eyebrows threaded today. I doubt this is the end of my grief, but I am grateful for the respite.

 

Blue

Good for you Blue...

I"m glad you let yourself enjoy the moment.

Go treat yourself to some pampering...it's ok.

Often people mean well; however, no one has any idea what you have dealt with over the years. Perhaps your friend just wants you to be happy and be able to get your life back.  A friendship for over 40 yrs...that is priceless.

If you get that pedicure...do something daring. Get a color that you wouldn't normally get. Spring is right around the corner...be daring

 

Have a great day....what ever you do

 

Hugs from me...Fluter 

X the manicure and eyebrows today. I received two sympathy cards and also spoke to the phone company about my Mom's passing. Well the tears and sadness are back. I will say again, I had no idea how hard this was going to be. I do have a friend you is going through the grief of his wife's death just before Christmas. We are going out for coffee today. We can just sit with each other and be miserable or we can talk about our losses or maybe even have a little fun. It does not matter to me. I just want to be able to relax and be myself, whatever that may be during the time we are together.

 

Love and hugs to you Fluter,

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

Oh Blue I did not know it has only been 10 days since you lost your Mom, it is way too soon to be bucking up as your friend wants you to do, and I know it took me a long time, the thing that helped me the most, was the realization that she was safe and knew she was going to a good place, but trust me I would not have been able to wipe off in 10 days, heck Blue scream shout, whatever you need to do, this is your pain and you take the time you need, it will get better, in time. Best to you and to Lovely Fluter that has such a good kind heart. My Music bud. :smitten:

I have not been doing too much shouting, but I sure have been crying enough tears to fill a lake. I am hanging on to the faith and knowledge that the intensity of the grief will lessen in time. And though I will always miss my Mom  just like I will always miss my Dad, I know from the past experience of the loss of my Father to cancer, that the pain lessens over time.

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

It has been 12 days now since my Mother's death. I wish I could say that the intense grieving is gone. But I it is not. Sometimes I do have periods of Respite, but then it come back. I have had a friend and now one of my brother's ask me if I am still staying at my Mother's house. When I say that I am, they strongly suggest that it is time to go back to my own home. I am not ready. Since my Mom required so much care the past few years, I have made her home, my home. I do not think I can bear both her loss and the loss of what has become my home at the same time. It is too much.  I feel things deeply and I need more time. I suppose my friend and my brother think it is causing me more pain staying here. But I do not think it is. I am strong enough to be confronted with my mother's memory on a daily basis until it is time for me to move on. I do not think I am experiencing pathological grief. I am grieving my way. It is too soon to ask me to move on. Thank goodness my work understands. I was going to go back next week. But I ask to move it to the last week of March and they understood.

 

Blue

[[be...]]

Bluebell, I am glad you have more time to be off and take your time, there is no time limit on grief, and just do what will make you comfortable now, it is too new and losing a loved one is really hard, and I took about 3 wks off and I needed it, and more, but it took time to deal with it, and like I said tearing down her bedroom was so hard, it took me a year even to think that I could, but sobbing the whole time I did, and I do think that time in her room packing things and looking at her things she had kept gave me some closure, and the tears helped also. Take your time, you decide what is best for you, everyone deals with grief differently, and when you are a caretaker, it seems to be harder, I do not know why. Just do what you can when you can.

 

http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/1//51/439/51439869_angel_u_voduy.gif

[[Bl...]]

Thank you begood. Your words of understanding what I am going through are very comforting to me. Being the caregiver for your parent until their death does complicate and intensify the feeling of loss. Like you, I do not know why. It just does. It is complicated and hard to put into words.

 

Take care beautiful friend. Love the angel

 

Blue

[[Fl...]]

Morning Blue,

 

I'm thinking about you!

 

Sending you Love and Friendship

 

[[Bl...]]

Good morning Fluter

 

http://www.allgraphics123.com/ag/01/14880/14880.gif

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

Another sucky day in this grief process. I cry at the drop of a hat. I also lose my temper very easily. I am told by my grief counselor that this is all normal. But I feel like a koo koo bird. I pray that this phase will pass soon and my emotions will even out.

 

Blue

[[Fl...]]

Another sucky day in this grief process. I cry at the drop of a hat. I also lose my temper very easily. I am told by my grief counselor that this is all normal. But I feel like a koo koo bird. I pray that this phase will pass soon and my emotions will even out.

 

Blue

Blue,

 

It's okay to cry at the drop of a hat...

It's okay to lose your temper...

 

Just let yourself feel every feeling that comes along.

 

Your therapist is right...YOU my friend are normal.

 

I want to share this with you...it is very true. I experienced them all, and multiple times.

 

https://www.reference.com/health/seven-stages-grief-60be67d64da0e030?qo=cdpArticles

 

Love you Blue 

 

http://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/35/87/1860349391-wake-of-loss-affirmation.jpg

 

[[be...]]

Blue thinking of you, do not be hard on yourself, you are going through a very painful time, once you get back to work in late March it will be a bit better, but time is going to be your Friend. Love what Fluter has given such good advice. Thinking of you. :smitten:

[[Fl...]]

Mornin to you BlueSki

 

I truly wish I could wave a magic wand and all of your hurting would be over, and than I gave this some thought...We/You should be hurting/feeling.  How can you spend a lifetime with someone and not expect to hurt? That would mean you were uncaring/unfeeling, and we both know this just isn't true.

 

So, IMO...you are right where you are supposed to be on any given day.

 

The hurt and grief will come and go! It will be stronger and more pronounced on certain days, and than...than that day will come when you don't feel quiet so awful, and you know what...you will feel guilty for not feeling quite so awful.

 

It's true and all in the process.

 

Blue...do not feel guilt, do not beat yourself up over and over again.

 

Just take this one day at a time.

 

Wrapping my arms around you, and telling you...I'm sorry you are hurting, and you will get through this.

 

Love and Flutership to you my Dear Blue :smitten:

 

[[Fl...]]

Good morning Begood,

 

I hope you have a lovely day

 

http://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/68/90/1743012642-0cb9ed3e83e57a8e2ad318d4a2019ed9.jpg

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Thanks Fluter back at you" :smitten: [/glow]

[[Bl...]]

Thanks both Fluter and begood. I am grieving, but right now it is less intense. I love you both for your ongoing support and uplifting pictures with quotes. They do help.

 

Love you and big hugs to you

 

Blue

[[be...]]

Thanks both Fluter and begood. I am grieving, but right now it is less intense. I love you both for your ongoing support and uplifting pictures with quotes. They do help.

 

Love you and big hugs to you

 

Blue

[[Fl...]]

Mornin Bluetiful  :smitten:

 

It's a breezy windy Thursday here in my neck of Texas.

 

I've been doing Spring Cleaning...uggh, what a job. It's amazing to me how much stuff one can accumulate. I've never been a pack rat...I do not like clutter, and every since my taper...I've become even more OCD about it. Maybe, it's because it's the one thing I have control over?? What do you think?

 

I'm fixing to drop some things off at Goodwill.

 

I got the stairwell closet all cleaned and organized, my bedrm closet, all the drawers. I've purned all the back yard hedges, and the 2 Lilac trees. Next, I will need to conquer my shed, and that will be a weekend job! I have no doubt my oldest daughter will help me.

 

Did you ever go get that manicure? If not, perhaps this weekend would be a great time to put some sparkle on those nails

 

Well, my friendie...I'm off like a dirty shirt...got some rat killin to take care of.

 

Sending Love and Flutership your way...I hope you have a peaceful day 

 

[[Fl...]]

Hiya Begood,

 

How goes it?

 

I'm doing chores...I"m sure you know how that is...they never seem to end, and if you allow them to get away from you...it seems so hard to catch up.

 

I hope you have a lovely day.

 

Sprinkling some healthy begood dust all over you...keep up the good work and taper on, taper on!

 

One day soon...this will all seem like a dream...A VERY BAD DREAM, however, a dream nonetheless and for me a dream and journey that has taught me some very valuable life lessons!

 

Fluter 

 

For me it's nature...how about you?

 

[[Ch...]]

My friend Blue…just now saw this thread and am warmed to see the love and support for you…and you know I am always here for you as well. I'm so sorry for your pain, but happy for the love you have for your mother, and she for you.

C 

[[be...]]

Thanks Fluter, I am really doing well this time with my taper, no worries I just gave it to the Universe and it is working well. I am just about ready to Hoover and make bed completely, yes chores must be done. Oh by the way, my Music thread is on Accentuate the Postive now, drop in when you have a bit of time. I visit yours and love it. Have the best day and please know that taking care of our Parents has to be the very best job we will ever have, who will love and take care of them as much as we will, I am so thankful I was able to take care of My Mother. :smitten:

 

Morning Blue, we are never far from you and let the grieving process move on at your pace, you are doing just what everyone that has a great loss is doing, making each moment a day one step at time. I will tell you for sure that the day will come when only good memories will be in your heart, but it takes times. Be kind to you and know that we are going to be here for you. :smitten:

[[Fl...]]

Thanks Fluter, I am really doing well this time with my taper, no worries I just gave it to the Universe and it is working well. I am just about ready to Hoover and make bed completely, yes chores must be done. Oh by the way, my Music thread is on Accentuate the Postive now, drop in when you have a bit of time. I visit yours and love it. Have the best day and please know that taking care of our Parents has to be the very best job we will ever have, who will love and take care of them as much as we will, I am so thankful I was able to take care of My Mother. :smitten:

 

BG,

I like your attitude!! That's a fact!

Often turning things over to the universe is very hard...well, for me anyway. It's a control thing. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

I agree with you on the care taking of our parent's. For what ever the reason I can remember at the age of 12 saying I will NEVER put my parent's in a facility, and I think I said this after visiting my dad's aunt. The facility was terrible, and very sad.

My mom is 81 and has Alzheimer's. When I made my vow at age 12...I had NO idea just how hard this would be. We just take it one day at time...yesterday was rough. I'm hoping today will be better.

I enjoy music so much...it is my saving grace.

Thank you for the invitation...

I hope you have a great day!

Fluter 

[[be...]]

Thanks Fluter, I am really doing well this time with my taper, no worries I just gave it to the Universe and it is working well. I am just about ready to Hoover and make bed completely, yes chores must be done. Oh by the way, my Music thread is on Accentuate the Postive now, drop in when you have a bit of time. I visit yours and love it. Have the best day and please know that taking care of our Parents has to be the very best job we will ever have, who will love and take care of them as much as we will, I am so thankful I was able to take care of My Mother. :smitten:

 

BG,

I like your attitude!! That's a fact!

Often turning things over to the universe is very hard...well, for me anyway. It's a control thing. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

I agree with you on the care taking of our parent's. For what ever the reason I can remember at the age of 12 saying I will NEVER put my parent's in a facility, and I think I said this after visiting my dad's aunt. The facility was terrible, and very sad.

My mom is 81 and has Alzheimer's. When I made my vow at age 12...I had NO idea just how hard this would be. We just take it one day at time...yesterday was rough. I'm hoping today will be better.

I enjoy music so much...it is my saving grace.

Thank you for the invitation...

I hope you have a great day!

Fluter 

[[Bl...]]

My friend Blue…just now saw this thread and am warmed to see the love and support for you…and you know I am always here for you as well. I'm so sorry for your pain, but happy for the love you have for your mother, and she for you.

C 

Thank you Challis. The initial grief has lessening the past day or so and I can think more clearly now. I do not feel as lost in a haze of continuous pain. The support and love I have received here is helping me to heal and not feel so all alone with all these mixed up thoughts and emotions.

I did and do love my Mother. I am honored that the universe chose me to take care of her. There was a cost to that though, but it was one I knew  going in. I knew that by giving of myself to her, I would experience profound grief when it was her time to go. But so be it. I have proven to myself that I am strong. I may stumble and fall, but I will pick myself up and keep moving forward.

 

Love you Challis

 

Blue

[[Bl...]]

To Fluter and begood

 

http://www.allgraphics123.com/ag/01/8751/8751.jpg

 

Thank you for being all of the above

 

Blue

 

[[Bl...]]

I just now had the desire to invite anyone else in this community who is experiencing a loss or losses, not matter what or who it is, to come here and express it. I feel like this is a safe place to share and find support. This is not just all about me. There must be others who also need what this thread has to offer.

 

Blue