His and Hers--Differences between the sexes

[[pi...]]

Women are attracted to creative men who have high social status. Rock stars are the epitome of that.

 

Men are primarily attracted to youth, beauty and femininity so female entertainers don't hold any special appeal. At least that aspect of them doesn't factor much into their attractiveness to men.

 

This is a generalization that I totally disagree with. I don't have time to spend on this discussion at this time, BBL.

 

PG

[[Ce...]]

Women are attracted to creative men who have high social status. Rock stars are the epitome of that.

 

Men are primarily attracted to youth, beauty and femininity so female entertainers don't hold any special appeal. At least that aspect of them doesn't factor much into their attractiveness to men.

 

This is a generalization that I totally disagree with. I don't have time to spend on this discussion at this time, BBL.

 

PG

 

Agreed PL! Later for me as well....

[[no...]]

Women are attracted to creative men who have high social status. Rock stars are the epitome of that.

 

Men are primarily attracted to youth, beauty and femininity so female entertainers don't hold any special appeal. At least that aspect of them doesn't factor much into their attractiveness to men.

 

This is a generalization that I totally disagree with. I don't have time to spend on this discussion at this time, BBL.

 

PG

 

Agreed PL! Later for me as well....

    :thumbsup:

[[pi...]]

Everyone is going to look for something else in a partner.  The generalization you made, FG,  might pertain to a certain subset of individuals, but hardly reflects the entire female population.  Making bold statements like this, IMO,  leads to some pretty horrible things that our society is experiencing right now, sexism, ageism, racism, body shaming.... the list goes on and on.

 

While we each might find something physical we like about a person, it's what is inside, in their heart, that truly matters.  It's their values, not their faces. It's their caring, not their physique. It's their compassion, not their hair.

 

PG

[[Ce...]]

Women are attracted to creative men who have high social status. Rock stars are the epitome of that.

 

Men are primarily attracted to youth, beauty and femininity so female entertainers don't hold any special appeal. At least that aspect of them doesn't factor much into their attractiveness to men.

 

This is a generalization that I totally disagree with. I don't have time to spend on this discussion at this time, BBL.

 

PG

 

It isn't worth arguing about this statement, because this is a statement by one person on behalf of many people - and therefore, simply not true. No one person can speak for the entire half of our society.

 

ALL people are attracted to other people based on personal values and details. Some of that is inborn in our humanity to a degree. But a lot of it is colored by our personality types, our upbringing, and our experiences in life including other relationships and learning about ourselves and what we prefer over time.  No one person can speak for others when it comes to these things.  By and large, there may be some general ideas about what is attractive, but even that has changed culturally with time.

 

When it comes to meeting and developing real relationships, there are many facets to what makes things work.  Looks and personality IS a part of that for everyone - but even what people find attractive in these two areas are unique to the individual. Therefore, there is no conclusion we can make as a generalized statement.  In the math equation that is attraction, it is multi-factorial.  And any one factor can play "larger" than another depending on the individual. 

 

In the end, if the goal is to wind up with one person you enjoy spending time with more than anyone else - a life partner - then the best advice is to take the best care of yourself so that you are genuine and happy on your own and not "in need" of others' approval to make you feel complete.  Being around a happy person typically trumps so many of the other values in the end.

 

Well said, parker!  I need not add to this...you said it all! Both you and PG...thanks you guys. We are all on the same page.

 

Someone once said; 'looks fade with time, but it is what is in your heart that is forever'. I agree on the importance of attraction to each other, but we can't put so much importance on it, that we lose sight of what is meaningful and lasting. Choosing a soul mate goes well beyond physical appearance.

[[Fl...]]

Everyone is going to look for something else in a partner.  The generalization you made, FG,  might pertain to a certain subset of individuals, but hardly reflects the entire female population.  Making bold statements like this, IMO,  leads to some pretty horrible things that our society is experiencing right now, .... the list goes on and on.

 

While we each might find something physical we like about a person, it's what is inside, in their heart, that truly matters.  It's their values, not their faces. It's their caring, not their physique. It's their compassion, not their hair.

 

PG

 

When did stating scientifically verifiable information become akin to promoting sexism, ageism, racism and body shaming? I don't appreciate that implication at all and it saddens me that some folks can't have realistic adult conversations about topics like this without getting offended and making accusations.

 

If you truly believe that these things do not play a primary role in attraction when there are scientific studies to back this up and all of the real life evidence around us points to the fact that it does (such as the fact that women don't spend BILLIONS of dollars every year trying to make themselves look less attractive), I don't know what to say. I would take the time to dig up some of these scientific studies that have been done that back this up but you aren't interested in that, your mind is already made up that I am a bad guy for pointing out anything that goes against this disingenuous narrative that has been promoted in society recently.

 

If it makes anyone happy to believe whatever you want to believe while disregarding evidence to the contrary, knock yourselves out. Just remember, it wasn't long ago that many of us believed the narrative that doctors can do no wrong, and had we opened our eyes a little more some of us might have been able to avoid getting sick.

 

I appreciate the fact that a few people here are willing to have an honest, open conversation about this but I can see that we are in the minority so if we can't have an adult conversation I am done with these topics from now on. Matter of fact this intolerance makes me question whether or not I even want to be a part of this board any more.

 

 

[[co...]]

Men are hard wired to prefer looks initially. Of course, the most beautiful woman on the outside will not attract us long if she is ugly on the inside. I've been married to the same woman for 31 years and, honestly, she's not as physically attractive as she used to be. But because she is the most beautiful woman I've ever met on the inside, I'm more attracted to her now than ever. But this is hard for me to do, ie. look past her fading looks. A lot of men never overcome this hard wired preference for physical beauty. I don't think it's inflammatory to discuss these issues though if everyone is being honest and looking for truth as I believe FG is. Generalizations are necessary because we are all individuals and we could never discuss all 7 billion of us individually. I know FG would acknowledge exceptions but can you acknowledge any truth in his generalizations?

[[Fl...]]

Men are hard wired to prefer looks initially. Of course, the most beautiful woman on the outside will not attract us long if she is ugly on the inside. I've been married to the same woman for 31 years and, honestly, she's not as physically attractive as she used to be. But because she is the most beautiful woman I've ever met on the inside, I'm more attracted to her now than ever. But this is hard for me to do, ie. look past her fading looks. A lot of men never overcome this hard wired preference for physical beauty. I don't think it's inflammatory to discuss these issues though if everyone is being honest and looking for truth as I believe FG is. Generalizations are necessary because we are all individuals and we could never discuss all 7 billion of us individually. I know FG would acknowledge exceptions but can you acknowledge any truth in his generalizations?

 

When you are with someone for many years it creates a bond that transcends physical appearance. And yes, women's personality and temperament does play a role in who we are attracted to, especially for a long term commitment. None of that will ever change the fact that men tend to place higher value on certain traits in women and women have their own set of quantifiable traits that they place more value on in men. But god forbid we try to study these things and draw conclusions based on what we find. That would mean that some people are actually *GASP* more attractive to the opposite sex than others, and that can't be a good thing, even though it has propelled our species forward since the beginning of its existence.

[[Sh...]]

Men are hard wired to prefer looks initially. Of course, the most beautiful woman on the outside will not attract us long if she is ugly on the inside. I've been married to the same woman for 31 years and, honestly, she's not as physically attractive as she used to be. But because she is the most beautiful woman I've ever met on the inside, I'm more attracted to her now than ever. But this is hard for me to do, ie. look past her fading looks. A lot of men never overcome this hard wired preference for physical beauty. I don't think it's inflammatory to discuss these issues though if everyone is being honest and looking for truth as I believe FG is. Generalizations are necessary because we are all individuals and we could never discuss all 7 billion of us individually. I know FG would acknowledge exceptions but can you acknowledge any truth in his generalizations?

 

O.M.G. I am speechless.

[[co...]]

Men are hard wired to prefer looks initially. Of course, the most beautiful woman on the outside will not attract us long if she is ugly on the inside. I've been married to the same woman for 31 years and, honestly, she's not as physically attractive as she used to be. But because she is the most beautiful woman I've ever met on the inside, I'm more attracted to her now than ever. But this is hard for me to do, ie. look past her fading looks. A lot of men never overcome this hard wired preference for physical beauty. I don't think it's inflammatory to discuss these issues though if everyone is being honest and looking for truth as I believe FG is. Generalizations are necessary because we are all individuals and we could never discuss all 7 billion of us individually. I know FG would acknowledge exceptions but can you acknowledge any truth in his generalizations?

 

O.M.G. I am speechless.

But it is true and I'm just being frank. All men think this way no matter what they tell you. Does this make me a monster and are you discounting my 31 years of faithful marriage?

[[me...]]

Everyone is going to look for something else in a partner.  The generalization you made, FG,  might pertain to a certain subset of individuals, but hardly reflects the entire female population.  Making bold statements like this, IMO,  leads to some pretty horrible things that our society is experiencing right now, .... the list goes on and on.

 

While we each might find something physical we like about a person, it's what is inside, in their heart, that truly matters.  It's their values, not their faces. It's their caring, not their physique. It's their compassion, not their hair.

 

PG

 

When did stating scientifically verifiable information become akin to promoting sexism, ageism, racism and body shaming? I don't appreciate that implication at all and it saddens me that some folks can't have realistic adult conversations about topics like this without getting offended and making accusations.

 

If you truly believe that these things do not play a primary role in attraction when there are scientific studies to back this up and all of the real life evidence around us points to the fact that it does (such as the fact that women don't spend BILLIONS of dollars every year trying to make themselves look less attractive), I don't know what to say. I would take the time to dig up some of these scientific studies that have been done that back this up but you aren't interested in that, your mind is already made up that I am a bad guy for pointing out anything that goes against this disingenuous narrative that has been promoted in society recently.

 

If it makes anyone happy to believe whatever you want to believe while disregarding evidence to the contrary, knock yourselves out. Just remember, it wasn't long ago that many of us believed the narrative that doctors can do no wrong, and had we opened our eyes a little more some of us might have been able to avoid getting sick.

 

I appreciate the fact that a few people here are willing to have an honest, open conversation about this but I can see that we are in the minority so if we can't have an adult conversation I am done with these topics from now on. Matter of fact this intolerance makes me question whether or not I even want to be a part of this board any more.

 

Men are hard wired to prefer looks initially. Of course, the most beautiful woman on the outside will not attract us long if she is ugly on the inside. I've been married to the same woman for 31 years and, honestly, she's not as physically attractive as she used to be. But because she is the most beautiful woman I've ever met on the inside, I'm more attracted to her now than ever. But this is hard for me to do, ie. look past her fading looks. A lot of men never overcome this hard wired preference for physical beauty. I don't think it's inflammatory to discuss these issues though if everyone is being honest and looking for truth as I believe FG is. Generalizations are necessary because we are all individuals and we could never discuss all 7 billion of us individually. I know FG would acknowledge exceptions but can you acknowledge any truth in his generalizations?

 

O.M.G. I am speechless.

 

Alright, that's it.  We've had reports of this thread now and it's serving no purpose other than to disrupt the forum.  And, disrupting the forum is against the rules.  I'm locking this thread NOW.  The purpose of this forum is to help people get through withdrawal, not to disrupt the forum with this kind of thing.  It IS offensive to many of us, and it has no place on a benzo withdrawal forum.

 

megan918

Administrator