ANHEDONIA POLL

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PLEASE DONT MOVE @ MODERATOR

 

IF YOU HAVE ANHEDONIA, PLEASE EXPLAIN YOUR SYMPTOMS, WHAT BENZO YOU USED, AND HOW LONG YOUVE HAD ANHEDONIA.

 

I WOULD SAY ON A SCALE OF 1-10 BUT ANHEDONIA IS ALWAYS A 10

 

THANKS

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My anhedonia started sometime during month four after my year long taper. I didnt have anhedonia before benzos, or during acute. It developed around the first year after benzo taper.

 

I used to feel very sensitive. Now I feel desensitized to everything. Kindof like a war vet. Nothing scares me anymore, but nothing moves me anymore. My affect is Blunted.

 

I have days where something gets through and I cry or feel really good but it always seems to go away.

 

Im around month 20 without benzos. Alcohol doesnt even affect me anymore. It makes me go back into acute withdrawal. Burning feet, cold chills, AGITATION. Its terrible

 

95% of my symptoms went away and honestly, anhedonia took there place. Anhedonia took the place of my early morning fear, my stomach problems, depression, anxiety, panic attacks.

 

Thanks before hand for the responses

 

I just dont want to feel alone in this

[Guest [On...]]

I had to look this up. I'm not experiencing this but I did want to say I'm so very sorry you are. You may feel alone in this particular symptom but you know you're not alone in your suffering. There are so many fine, caring people on this site who share a similar nightmare...

 

I sincerely hope this resolves for you. 

[[Wo...]]

Thanks for bringing this up. I consider this the worst psychological symptom. I had it straight through an entire year, until after I started to heal post jump. Now it comes and goes with waves. The better I feel, the more I enjoy life again just like I did before Klonopin. I don't think it's unusual for it to start later in the process either. What you described sounds a lot like what Lostdog wrote in his success story. I don't have it in front of me, but to paraphrase he says his last few months his symptoms calmed down but he didn't care about anything and just wanted to sleep all day. Then he got better. Could be your last stage. You never know.

[[Co...]]

I have pretty bad anhedonia as well, it started approx. 4 weeks after jumping. I'm emotionally empty,  i can't enjoy the things i like and nothing shocks me anymore.

One thing i couldn't ever watch without getting furious was seeing animal cruelty. As a test i went on liveleak.com, turned the safe mode off and watched a video where puppies were being killed by a group of muslims, i felt NOTHING!

 

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Hey CottonBrains.. Nice ID, HAHA.

 

Yes, You also have Anhedonia My friend.. I used to pray that my anxiety would go away and never come back. Well, god answered my prayers

 

Now i pray every day that my Anxiety WILL COME BACK. Because, without anxiety, i have nothing good in me to offer anyone. It's very lonely and scary. Every day is a grind.

 

I think i need to work on my negative attitude. But i'm pretty sure my chemicals are off .. Its hard to rise above something like that

[[ed...]]

My constant experience since a month after I ended my brief taper,

for 26 months now, has been as if burned recently in by noxious gas

(like CS in the army).  That's a baseline that that I can deal with.

 

But it's the constant detachment, irritation, stupor, insomnia, and dysfunction

that has make life "unbearable"; all routine activities are clouded by irritation

or pain, so I guess that's anhedonia.

(it's the drug damage; then maybe some mental fallout)

 

I have obligations that are not negotiable, so I do what I must, maybe not

on time. And anger helps me continue; hoping that I can be part of some change.

[[of...]]

Yes. Detachment. I believe anhedonics are just easily bored. That's not how it is with me. I feel very very detached. Unable to sleep, dream.. Feel intimate.. I can't smell? My range smell wise is 50percent. I just did the math BTW I'm almost 23 months post jump

 

When I drive I feel like , very tense. Its a lot better though. I for sure have had a lot of improvements. My mood is just, blah. Clouded

[[Ch...]]

It's winter.  Have you given a SAD light a go?

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NThis is the first I've heard of it

[[Ch...]]

Check out this thread: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=148343.0

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Very cool , thanks 

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I went through this for a long time during w/d. Had no interest in my surroundings and outside world. I used to be an avid knitter and was crazy about the SF Giants. Those dropped off the radar completely. Motivation completely downhill. I'm at the end of month 23 off tomorrow, the start of month 24, and I've improved a great deal in this area. It's definitely not the way I'd like it to be, but the lack of motivation and interest in my surroundings and the world no longer hit bottom the way they did. My baseline is a lot better. It just takes some of us a long time to get the complete gamut of emotions back again.

 

It's great that you're doing well otherwise, offeveything, from what I was reading this morning about you! I believe that at some point we'll all get full interest in life again. When, no one knows.

 

And if you try the SAD light, let us know how it goes!

 

 

 

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My emotions are flat __________________________________________________________

 

Some people have ups and downs ____----_____-----_______-------__--_-_----_

 

Not me______________________________________________

 

Every day. For the last year and a half

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My neighbor just died. Walked over , said sorry to the brother. He was crying. I didnt feel anything. This isnt me

[[os...]]

My neighbor just died. Walked over , said sorry to the brother. He was crying. I didnt feel anything. This isnt me

 

Jeez.

 

That's not good.

 

I'm sorry you have this that bad.

 

I recently lost interest in my photography, I was madly driven by it only a month ago, studied all the time, also I was into Jim Rohn stuff

 

as well and now................. nothing. I don't feel like I want to do anything at all but lie in bed and vent and post.

 

I have been unable to enjoy TV and music again lately, my mind is clearing but so sensitive now to stimuli...

 

This really isn't fun, it's actually really boring but in a funny sort of a way, I don't want to do anything but be peaceful.

 

 

[[Va...]]

PLEASE DONT MOVE @ MODERATOR

 

IF YOU HAVE ANHEDONIA, PLEASE EXPLAIN YOUR SYMPTOMS, WHAT BENZO YOU USED, AND HOW LONG YOUVE HAD ANHEDONIA.

 

I WOULD SAY ON A SCALE OF 1-10 BUT ANHEDONIA IS ALWAYS A 10

 

THANKS

I've used diazepam for four years. I notice the anhedonia after 2 years and couldn't figure it out until this December when I started researching benzo symptoms. It's one of the worst symptoms as I taper. I just don't care about anything, even making money. I have all kinds of opportunities and can barely work up the drive to do all the work that keeps coming.

[[He...]]

Well Offeverything, I know anhedonia very well from my days of alcoholism and early detox. And guess what, I'm still on 13 mg of V and I have anhedonia, oh I'd say an "8" generally. Tolerance w/d. I used the term with my psych nurse prac. who I finally found to help me start a taper, soon. I described it as looking through a dirty window out at a sunny world where people are living their lives, happy, energized, and I can't feel anything.

 

I'm not scared though. My spirit is strong. I used to be a "git 'er dun" person but also with a big focus on fun and sensual pleasures. I will have that connection again. A huge motivator for me has been that, since I decided with the nurse about a month ago to go ahead with the taper soon, I've had like a "background window". I just felt my energy change, an optimism. The knowing that I'll have my life back. And mind you, I fell and irritated my back Sx and am just getting over a 'flu since then. One of my supervisors told me yesterday, "you're looking good; I don't know what you're doing but something has changed and it's really good to see you laugh again". Validation. I hope you start to feel again soon. Some of the feeling is painful as well as good, though, like wanting to burst into tears. Which is OK except in certain situations.  Aloha to you and keep visualizing your Gaba receptors healing. Charlotte

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offeverything-

 

I just want to say that as a combat veteran we are not desensitized. It's quite the opposite. Our nervous systems were shocked too but in a different way. We are HYPERsensitive to the feelings of others, the movements of people, objects on the sides of roads. We see tiny things normal people never pay attention to because that kept us alive. This hypersensitivity is adaptive and keeps us alive and we don't know how to turn it off when we get home. Benzos turn it off a little but once you learn how to survive in a war zone, you can't ever turn it off.

 

Sorry, I am sensitive to things like that.