Support folks through this mess, and us loners

[[la...]]

sometimes when the ones with "loving husband" or wife and Loving children, and great medical care, with care givers maids, and more cry on here, when us loners no spouse, no childen , no caregiver, no great medical care, and can just bang head, scream at my door for 5 hrs no help,  well maybe they should thank there darn lucky stars and count the blessings cause many of us have no much of anything and no one really cares if we walk this earth or not........... SO COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS  thinking maybe aught to get off here cause to many have such support and still boo hoo,,,,,,,,,,and me nothing and read this and shake my head,,,,,,,,how did they get all this love in the 1st place,,,,,,,,,,, and it was not enought,,,,,,,,,,I would take a kernal

[[Fl...]]

No one is "lucky" in this, I can assure you.

 

We all should try to be thankful when and where we can but this is no picnic for anyone. Someone else might have it better in one way but I have it better in another way. And it works the same way for the opposite side of the coin. I feel bad for folks who have severe anxiety because that isn't something that has been an issue for me most of the way through. But at the same time I have debilitating cognitive issues that I know some other people can't really relate to.

 

 

[[me...]]

I'm a widow with no family nearby, and I went through withdrawal alone, too, except for this forum.  In many ways, I was glad I didn't have to explain myself or my symptoms or actions to anyone else. I did what I wanted, ate what i wanted, or not, as I chose.  Of course being alone is hard in some ways, but frankly, considering the stories I've heard of families disbelieving and even rejecting relatives who are in withdrawal, being alone during this process was alright with me.  But I can understand how you feel, feeling angry an resentful is often part of withdrawal for many, and as you heal, you'll probably feel less so.

 

[[la...]]

:'( sorry just in deep dispare,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, forgive me? and thank you for even replying

[[la...]]

  Hugs to all you

[[Fi...]]

Really sorry you feel so miserable and alone.  I've noticed that everybody in this feels purely miserable, no matter what their situation.  Like Megan says, there are actually some benefits to being alone.  I don't know--does it make you feel any better to hear that money can't buy any relief for this?  I'd have shelled out long ago if help were available!   Instead, I've hardly spent a nickel on docs, meds or tests.

[[mo...]]

I know exactly how you feel. I am pretty much alone as I have alienated almost everyone in my world because of my addiction to Xanax.  My husband has a job that requires him to travel constantly. My parents live in the town I do, but are very elderly. They don't understand my problems any way. My sister and I are no longer speaking to each other. We used to be best friends. My married children are disgusted with me and all live far away. I wish I had someone to be with me when I try to detox. Last year I ran out early. After the first 4 days or so I started having incredibly bad withdrawal symptoms. I wound up in the ER. My blood pressure was sky high as was my heart rate. I thought I was dying. I hardly ever go out except to walk my dogs and go to Doctors. I have no friends. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to contact me.

[[4G...]]

Of course you are forgiven! We all rant and vent. Let yourself off the hook and don't feel bad. Don't put another monkey on your back! Good luck with your tapering. Gilly x

[[la...]]

Hi guys and gals, another day, thank you, wow, I might always have that monkey on my back being  born in the year of the Monkey  hehe  just a chuckel  , I was doing a schedule of taper cutting my pills with old pill cutter and razor blade, on this chunk of glass I got from my old job for resin mixing, but when cutting and moving the power, I thought oh my gosh if someone see me though my window they will think wow she is a coke head, or something, weird feeling so stared at it a bit, and said ,, Hey ya got to do this, who cares what people think,,,, but still cutting pills on a glass with a razor  ahhhhhhh  where was I in the 80's.................ok chuckel  thank you all for being so kind,,,,,

[[4G...]]

I've thought the same when fiddling with medicine syringes. Anyone seeing me briefly might think I was shooting up with hypodermics! Anyway, I'm so used to it now that I'm past bothering!

Hope you are okay today. Gilly x

[[Li...]]

Venting can be good.  However, when you think you are the worst case scenario, look at my signature and you'll feel lucky that you aren't me. 

[[la...]]

wow needles  ikes,,, well Gilly guess that  am being watched feeling is normal,,, expect my neighbor in my duplex said " I watch you everyday"  over watering in Ca dought,  so guess my feeling is true I am being watched, by more then her, so what I did was load my bb gun and go in front and blast my fence gate she came out and asked what are you doing?  I said practice, I did get expert in pistol and rifle by the Marines so just keeping my accuracy up, you know like riding a bike....  my bb is a replica military gun I am sure if cops saw me well I be full of shots by now,,,,,,,,,hehe  but she not looking over my fence anymore!! Is part of our effects and taper ,, thoughts like what can I do mischievous today,,,,,,,,,,,, so far praying has not stop my get even feeling you know, let it go let it go,,,,,,,,,,,so is this normal ?

[[4G...]]

I can definitely understand the sheer frustration you feel. Maybe the gun is slightly worrying! I'm from the UK so that would scare me sh*tless! Maybe throw a few plates at the wall. I'm not one to advise as I feel sh*t and can't even help my bloody self, let alone anyone else....Gilly x

[[la...]]

One time I had my ear to the wall, and her daughter (40's) was saying "I bet she is listening right now and bang the wall at my ear,,,,,,,,,,,how funnny is that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Well my town no one pays much attention, I wanted to test this, so I had cut down a passion fruit and it dried into a giant ball of branches, so I got inside and walked around the blvd, and blocks slowly and nope not a clue,,,,,,,that is the scientist in me,,,,,,,,,,and laid out naked put oil on my head, prayed for Isreal,,,,,,,,well we are to get a blessing if we do,,,,,,,so I figure do it big time,,,,,,,,,,,,,yeah I was problably stone out on my benzos with left over effect of my sleeping pill