Any one else's grown kids live out of state?

[[ro...]]

My only offspring, my adult son..moved 2 months ago to Florida. For work..

I can't travel to see him and he can't come here .im in the Midwest..

Just miss him so much especially bc of the holidays. And I was really unwell this whole past year..

Feel I missed so much with him..now he's gone.

It's not a happy post, but I just didn't want to feel alone in this empty nest..

Do you also miss kids living away...how'd you bring peace to the situation. I just want to get better .

When he sees me next..

Thank you.

Rose

[[Sa...]]

rosegal,

 

My son did move out of state last year and i was thankful as i was experiencing the tolerance from K and almost went crazy trying to come off cold turkey. 

It was honestly harder to have him around as i wasn't feeling well enought to have him see me in my condition, pacing and you know the rest.  So i was thank full for that.

He is back this year and is living with me.  The withdrawal is so hard that either way life is hard.  Its tough not have them with you and also many challenges to have them be witness to this thing and you want to do more for them but can't.

Just try to focus on yourself getting well.  Be patient and try to keep as much good company around you, the more the better.

It will get much better,

Happy thanks giving

Saraa

[[ro...]]

Hi. Thanks for understanding.

Yes, mind wanted to move home, but said I wa too sick. He had girlfriend issues and job loss.

He then found work in Florida , near a relative...

I just miss him..

He's my only...

But I'd like to get down off the med before I see him.

 

Yes, you want to,so more with them , but can't .

Trying to focus on me.

 

Thanks. Terry

[[Sa...]]

Terry,

 

Mine is also one and only child and i so understand how you miss him.

1. Try to think that its better for him not to have the added stress of being in the middle of your withdrawal

2.  You have more space to force yourself to be with others and get out side of your minds' confines

3.  This is your last time being alone during the holidays as you are doing something that has to be done for yourself and him and will be so

    much better for both.

   

Keep plugging away at it.  Try to sign up for group community classes.  Meditation does wonders.  A routine of some sorts. 

    Eat a healthy diet.  And talk it out.  I am here if you should need to talk anytime.

    Hugs

    Saraa

[[ro...]]

Saraa,

Thank you for replies.

 

It helps to know I'm not alone in my feelings about my son..

This means a lot to me..

Very positive .

Yes, I have to get outside my self , even with the fogginess, tremors at times, ick feeling...

I get out. Now I must find a hobby or group , not just going to market or moms place..or doctors..

 

Eating pretty good. Have a therapist. But yes, need a group or club .....

It is kind of you to remind me that buddies. Like you are here..

Thank you for being available to talk,

 

Hugs to you.

 

Terry

[[ga...]]

My heart goes out to you. My kids are all I have, and I would be lost without them.

 

My 2 college kids are near me. In fact, my adult son with Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning autism) lives with me, at least for now. I love having him but he's also a huge emotional burden because I worry so about how he will make it without me. He needs so much guidance. I'm not much of a mother to him any more.

 

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all somehow get together for Thanksgiving? I keep telling my kids I need a transporter like on Star Trek! Then I wouldn't need them to drive me places. And then those of us benzo buddies with little or no family could all come together and eat turkey today!

 

http://emmastrend.com/wp-content/uploads/Thanksgiving-Turkey-Dinner-Plate-04.jpg

 

We'll just have to have cyber turkey together instead. And cyber hugs.  Will be thinking of you!

 

Gard

 

P.S. I echo the meditation recommendation. I have a guided meditation CD that is very gentle and does wonders for me. After a big conflict with my son last night, it helped me settle down and get some sleep. It came with a book called You Are Not Your Pain and has the most wonderful calming female voice. Very encouraging book, too, about how gentle meditation turns down pain signals.  I do have chronic pain (as do the authors of the book), but I find it turns down all kinds of anxiety signals, too. I recommend it to anyone.

[[Sa...]]

rosgal, gardner,

 

I hear you both, we are all in the same boat.  As mothers we have to pull through this for our kids.  It will take time but it will be done.

Wish you a both a Happy Thanks giving.

 

That turkey looks perfect, yummmy

Love

Saraa

[[ro...]]

Gardenia,

Yes, mothers feel pangs when kids are off on their own

 

Such a blessing that you have your sons nearby,

It must be a challange , but. Know your son is loving company . Not to feel so alone with this prices.

You're a good mom..

That turkey dinner has my mouth watering. Going to my sisters at 3.

Taking a sweet potatoe casserole.

 

I've tried breathing meditation.

I will look for at book..

A cd meditation ? I'll look for her cd. I'll google the book and see ..

 

Sara...you too,,

 

Both of you helped me this thanksgiving morning.

Hugs.

Happy thanksgiving.

 

Terry   Rose.

[[ga...]]

So glad to hear you have a sister near! Hope you're having a good time with her.

[[ro...]]

Gardener,

Sorry I said gardenia.

I'm in a fog.

 

Miss my son so much..

Talked thanksgiving on phone.

Miss grandson. He didn't answer phone.

 

I'm trying to be happy.

 

Hugs. Terry

Yes, talk to sis. A lot.

[[ga...]]

Gardener,

Sorry I said gardenia.

I'm in a fog.

 

Miss my son so much..

Talked thanksgiving on phone.

Miss grandson. He didn't answer phone.

 

I'm trying to be happy.

 

Hugs. Terry

Yes, talk to sis. A lot.

 

Oh, I didn't mind the Gardenia. I thought it was  pretty name!

 

Do grandsons answer the phone?? Isn't that the texting generation? Not the same. 

 

I'm so sorry about your son. My daughter is across town but not really speaking to me right now. She was here for Thanksgiving but it didn't go well. I was up and down with waves and she couldn't take it and left. She said I was just using the drugs as an excuse for behaving badly. Better that she left and says away for awhile, I think.

 

Trying to be happy…..I gave up on that. Trying to survive. Sometimes happiness comes but it also goes. Was in a very dark place all day yesterday and didn't see how I would survive. Today, not so bad.

 

I'm learning acceptance mindfulness to cope. I'm using some acceptance guided meditation CDs every day. They came with a book called You Are Not Your Pain (because I have chronic pain) but most of what they talk about can apply to emotional pain, too. In fact, it's mostly about relieving the emotional pain that comes with physical pain. I'm only on week two of the program because I'm slow, but I find it very helpful. I actually bought the audiobook and then paperback.

 

The narrator has such a nice, calming voice, female with a bit of a British accent. She make me feel less alone and the guided meditations are so gentle. I've never been able to do any guided meditations before this. I really recommend this program as a coping technique for any kind of pain or w/d symptoms. The book with the CD and the audiobook are both on amazon. (In the UK, the book has a different name.)

 

Here's a link to sign up to receive a free sample of a meditation to see if you like her voice and style.

http://www.breathworks-mindfulness.org.uk/free-meditations

 

I hope your fog lifts soon. I suggest distracting yourself with something you enjoy (or used to enjoy, do it anyway). And taking it easy. Be gentle on yourself if you can. Sending you a really long cyber hug. I could use one, too, so this is for both of us!

 

 

Gard