Where's The Humor In All This?

[[...]]

Freddie Krueger is Mother Goose compared to my looping thoughts.

 

please don't talk about Mother Goose.  That SCARES ME!   

 

 

[[so...]]

22.  I save money not downloading iTunes.  Everything sounds like nails on a chalkboard.  I never thought I'd be grateful to be deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other.

[[Be...]]

That's funny, Kian, about your suspense/thriller movies. . . . Everything scares me, too.  I'm glad Halloween is over.  It was terrifying. 

 

1.  My memory is shot now, so I can't remember all the bad, irresponsible stuff I've done in my life.

 

2.  I save money on gas and wear and tear on my car because I don't drive anymore.

 

3.  I save wear and tear on my washing machine because I don't do laundry much anymore. 

 

4.  Don't wearout any of my nice clothes now because I don't wear them anymore or have anywhere to go since I've been homebound now for almost 3 years.

 

5.  My oven looks brand new because I can't bake anymore. 

 

 

[[so...]]

My paranoia tells me Mother Goose is a pedophile.

[[so...]]

Hahaaaa, Becks! 

 

I spill stuff and turn the stove on so my family thinks I'm at least trying.

[[Be...]]

Thanks to my extreme hearing sensitivity, I'll never suffer from hearing loss.  I hear better than dogs do now. 

[[so...]]

My dog's deaf.  Either that or he's faking it.  Oops, there goes my paranoia again.

[[...]]

Thanks to my extreme hearing sensitivity, I'll never suffer from hearing loss.  I hear better than dogs do now.

 

good hyper acusis joke, becky. 

[[...]]

23.  i traded my driver's license for a photo id but when i run into someone in the hallway of the house, i feel like i was in a car accident.

[[Be...]]

Thanks to my loss of appetite, I'm now underweight instead of overweight.

I don't eat junkfood anymore since my body can't tolerate it.

I have nice long hair now--um, yea, right--since I can't get out to get a haircut.

My obsessing is so bad, that I need to clean spots and stains out of everything, so no more stains on clothes and bedspreads, etc. 

 

[[so...]]

Oh Lawd Kian.  I need to grab my Depends pull-ups.  Tired of running to the bathroom to pee.  Now I can just let it fly.

[[so...]]

I'm 5'3" and used to weigh 250 lbs.  I was a bowling ball.  I weigh 107 now and look like a skeleton draped with wet crepe paper.  I have to run around in the shower to get wet.

[[so...]]

Becky, if you lived close you could clean my house.  Trust me, it's so dirty it would cure your OCD.

[[...]]

24.  i tried to donate my body to medical science, but they wouldn't even give me fifty bucks for it.  they said it's all in my head.

 

 

 

[[so...]]

Ohhhh Kian.  I can't breathe.  Wait.  I couldn't breathe BEFORE you made me laugh.

[[so...]]

I used to love the smell of bacon.  Now I can't get the smell of bacon out of my nose hairs.

[[Be...]]

If someone paid me for all the obsessive cleaning I do, I'd be a millionaire.

[[...]]

25.  i had to start CBT therapy and counseling to learn how to cope with people who don't understand.

 

 

[[so...]]

I don't understand, Kian.  Haha.

[[Be...]]

Kian, I sure do understand what you said about needing counseling to deal with being misunderstood by the world.  I understand you and what you're going through.  It's not so humorous, but pathetic.  The anonymous malady.   

[[so...]]

Kian, I hope you know I was kidding.

[[lo...]]

This thread is so funny.  Well done, for all the humour in the midst of all the misery. 

 

Well I lied in my first post.  I haven't really saved a lot of money.  >

 

 

I needed a new tablet computer, a new mobile phone, a new printer, a new laptop ......

 

So that I can continue to live in this luxurious bubble and conduct my exciting cyber life.  In fact I have no need to live in the outside world ever again. 

 

Except to get my teeth pulled ... can't do that online .....  :'( :'(

 

 

 

 

[Guest [On...]]

Since my cat is nocturnal and I have insomnia, I really think we're starting to bond.

 

Is it possible to be a compulsive slob?  I've been obsessively cleaning the garage, kitchen, bathroom... but my front bedroom looks like my closet threw up - there is crap all over the place.  I've lost the cat in there more than once. (Maybe the cat was actually hiding and not really lost... but I couldn't find her.)

 

I always get the garbage out to the curb on time because I'm always awake.

 

Finally got my pillows arranged just right.

 

I have more pajamas than "real" clothes - saving a bunch on laundry!

 

 

[[be...]]

I no longer need face cream, as the lines are so deep that I can place dimes in many places, and they are very secure, what I am using now is cement to smooth the lines out   

[[Sh...]]

No need to ever visit the Magic Kingdom again.  The Mad Tea Party in my head is better than the real thing.

 

XX

She