I have caused 2 car crashes...

[[li...]]

Wow. Yea you need to go see a therapist immediately and tell them that you celebrated at seeing people get in a wreck that was caused by you. That is awful.

 

 

You need more mental help. Stay off of the roads until you are suitable for driving.

[[ca...]]

Clona, what`s going on Amiga? Drop into the kk club and say hi ~CD

[[Cl...]]

Exactly, I celebrated, I felt the mad driver got his punisment by driving that mad, that is why I want to heal and posted here, the guy was furious at the other who crashed him, not at me, never at me, nobody blamed me, I only stopped as required, drastically yes, he could hit me, yes, that is what I have been speaking about...no that I am guilty, but that I do not care of being crashed by people in a hurry and then I do what I need to do: to obbey the traffic laws...in spite of the high possibility of my car being hit...not harmed, I mean, he cannot reach that kind of high speed if we were in a severe traffic jam.

 

Thank you for your replies, do not worry much, after few days travelling I may not longer have this weird sx since it is new to me and it has not been long.

 

Other hug 

 

 

 

[[Cl...]]

Hi Can Do! Mi vida loca!  KK thread moves very quickly, I know you are struggling but winning your K battle!

A Big hug my Friend 

[[Ch...]]

Clona,

 

This thread worries me, as it does others who have posted.  This doesn't sound like you.  I am stunned with the lack of normal thought and decision-making you talk about in this thread. 

 

I think you're also asking why your thinking is off.  No one can say for sure why, but whatever is causing this lack of judgment, you need to stop driving until your judgment is along normal lines again.  Someone is going to get hurt, either in a car or as a result of road rage.  Not only that, there's a ton of property damage being racked up by being a 'stop sign' and causing people to rear-end your car.

 

Most intersections these days have video cameras installed.  You may also find yourself in trouble with the law doing this.

 

Please Clona, this is not rational thought.  It seems you can't see this right now, even though others in this thread are trying to help you see what you're doing.

 

Challis

[[Cl...]]

Thank you Challis  :smitten:

I am not driving at the moment and I will not for more than a week, I think that weird feeling is somehow decreasing by now  ...such a weird day yesterday.

[[be...]]

Clona my dear:

 

I recall you having anger in your taper about those other cars in your parent's driveways. allbymself: Clona is not on any drug. I have been with her since she first joined BB. I have been with her most days throughout her taper. She did a direct taper off kpin, with no other medication. And to say she is lying is disparaging to her. She does not lie. If she did, why would she make such a frightful post? I don't believe she has DP or DR, but rather a lack of GABA and the stress hormone. IMO, this is the hormone that Clona is looking for. And her anger has gotten the best of her, like it did before. She was pretty cavalier in her earlier situation, and now, this, the same attitude. But that earlier incident passed. I believe this will pass too. I think going away for a week might help her. She was working throughout her taper, and has a stressful job. We lose our ability to fight stress when the benzos are gone. So I am not going to be rude to you, like some others here, but rather agree with them. Clona, even tho you have been feeling pretty good post taper, you are still in w/d, and that makes people think irrationally. I truly believe it's your GABA and lack of your stress hormone. No pills can correct that. It has to be done with time.

 

So I would have to agree. Your earlier anger incident was pretty funny, because it did not hurt anyone. But these thoughts and actions can hurt/kill people. Or you could get really angry and irrational and end up killing kids who cross the street. If you lived in NYCity, nobody stops for a yellow light. A lot do not stop for a red light. But everybody knows this so they lay off, to avoid any incident with their cars. So in the end, I have to agree. This is not play time. It is serious business and you simply cannot drive while you are thinking this way. I know you have plenty of friends and co-workers who can give you a lift. I know earlier in my taper I felt I would be a hazard on the road, so I did not drive. I got a friend or family member to help me out. If not, I simply took a cab. I also did not drive before I began my taper. I think, in total, it was 5 years of no driving for me. I did not want to hurt or kill people, or myself. I also did not want to end up in jail. It is crucial, as many here have told you, to stay off the roads until you become more rational. Anger has no place behind the wheel. No way to fight stress, you become angry. That is your mind's way of coping with things. So let your body heal first until the anger goes away.

Bets

[[al...]]

i said she was lying because she said she told her doctor about trying to get into accidents and she said he told her its ok its just wd...i dont think any doctor in their right mind would tell someone to go ahead and drive in this condition and i never asked if she was on any meds. that was someone else...

[[be...]]

i said she was lying because she said she told her doctor about trying to get into accidents and she said he told her its ok its just wd...i dont think any doctor in their right mind would tell someone to go ahead and drive in this condition and i never asked if she was on any meds. that was someone else...

 

Sorry, but this thread moved fast so I thought it was you that asked about the meds. Mea Culpa. I don't know if Clona actually gave out too many details about telling her doctor. Maybe she told him in a more pleasant, non alarming way.

Bets

[[Cl...]]

Bets! I think you got the point! It may be due to anger! I was very upset at the Administrators at work! at my brother in law...For several days!  But I kind of contained my anger!...I did not feel it was anger before the crashes, but you are right, I need to be angry, I need to speak out at the Administrators for example in this case, and then I will get better before leaving work or home.

I am not driving in a while, better to ask my funny Friend who lives close by and forget about work and family issues that are bothering me.

 

I am very sorry for what my post has caused to most of you, but after I write in this forum I immediatelly feel better, I will not drive until I am sure I can control my weird situation...even I already feel much better and excited of changing my routinary days that lately are full of hard family times.

 

I promise I will decide the opposite at any other situation like this because it is a decision thing, not an impulsive thing...hard to explain, Bets did it much better than me: anger, contained anger, and that is simply not me, better to argue with the Administrators, than feeling like that 

 

To all of you, Thanks for your words...Both, the kind and the hard ones! I deserved them  ...back to my happy and positive baseline already...I hope it lasts 

Clona 

 

Bets, I am reading your post, I told my doctor in a serious way, he is also very upset at the horrible crashes in that particular cross lights and nobody respecting the yellow ones, a deadly accident occurred few months ago when somebody accelerated at the cross light; when you go in the other way, as there is a bridge, you cannot actually see if somebody crossed in yellow light til you have it very near, then horrible sounds of brakes. So he actually said this: "if we all in town do what you did (stopping drastically at the yellow lights) the terrible accidents that happens there are going to stop, I heard that transit people are going to make some changes in the near future, but you should not do it this way, small crashes earlier are not the solution to stop the deadly ones later... reacting at the extreme is wd, you have not lost your mind...it is an extreme reaction at a Big problem we have in town"

I do not say I was thinking of the others who could not see us crossing or not the yellow lights, what I thought only was "he is going to hit my car, so let us go" like if I wanted to punished him because due to drivers like him this is a very scary spot...I actually cannot avoid it, it is the only way for me and my neighbours to get home.

Thank you for your great thinking my Friend  , now I am sure you are right: anger, but contained. Better for me to speak out as I always do, but this week.

 

 

[[li...]]

Glad to hear that you are thinking differently about it now and I do genuinely hope it continues to get better from here. I apologize if I came across as harsh; I have just been in a number of bad accidents myself due to the irresponsible choices of others and am very passionate about people driving carefully and respectfully while on the road.

 

Sorry to hear you are going through some things. Hope you work through it. Posting here is always a good way to bounce your thoughts and situations off of other buddies and although responses can seem harsh, people just want the best for you and for others.

[[Cl...]]

Thank you Lila, I deserved the harsh words, could not explain myself better and was very close minded, anger contained or DP possibly.

I lost my brother in a car accident due to a drunk driver many years ago...his Friend died as well, the driver Friend survived. The most terrible experience in my life. My Parents, my Sisters and I changed completely since then. He was single, happy, never got nor a flu...he was 24 years old, Bets and many Friends in here know about it (friends in the Klonopin Klub tread)

So I normally drive very carefully, but yesterday...I do get nervous if somebody else is in my car, which usually do not happen because I normally let the others to drive if this is the case...but I like driving again on my own. I will never do what I did yesterday, not driving for a while.

I feel like giving you and to any of you who replied in here a long hug full of gratitude 

[[ra...]]

benzogirl with respect I don't think the intention here has been that anyone was deliberately or unnecessarily rude to your friend, but just plain HONEST speaking in the hope of getting though to her before tragedy strikes. I think your describing her attitude a cavalier is underplaying it somewhat, as most would call it downright irresponsible and dangerous. And as for hiding behind the excuse that she has difficulties with anger management - She sounds more like a toddler with temper tantrum problems - So pray to God these don't result in her killing some poor innocent bystander who gets in her way next time the anger takes over.

 

Since writing the above paragraph  I am glad to see from clona's  post above that perhaps AT LAST maybe some reason is coming to the fore and lessons being learn't. I am however surprised this has happened in the first place in view of the very sad family losses described, as surely such tragedies make us more aware of how NOT to behave.  Either way, here's hoping that what everyone has tried to say to clona to help prevent possible future tragedies, has been truly and genuinely  taken on board by the party concerned.

 

[[Cl...]]

Toddler with tantrum problems?  , yes, that was me on Easter...but not even then I wanted to kill anybody...but yes, I have anger problems that I need to sort out, obviously containing my anger does not work 

[[ra...]]

As for most of us in life we have to learn control if we are to mature into decent, responsible human beings.

 

Wishing you well on your journey 

[[be...]]

Clona:

 

I'm glad you got the whole stress/anger issue. I was hoping I was making myself clear. In the past you have talked about seeing a therapist. I think it's time. You have nothing to lose but an hour's worth of time. Many here have benefited from it, including myself. I wish you the only the best and I'm glad you plan to stay off the roads and give a licking to your bosses. Your BIL is yet another story.

Bets

[[be...]]

benzogirl with respect I don't think the intention here has been that anyone was deliberately or unnecessarily rude to your friend, but just plain HONEST speaking in the hope of getting though to her before tragedy strikes. I think your describing her attitude a cavalier is underplaying it somewhat, as most would call it downright irresponsible and dangerous. And as for hiding behind the excuse that she has difficulties with anger management - She sounds more like a toddler with temper tantrum problems - So pray to God these don't result in her killing some poor innocent bystander who gets in her way next time the anger takes over.

 

 

 

Since writing the above paragraph  I am glad to see from clona's  post above that perhaps AT LAST maybe some reason is coming to the fore and lessons being learn't. I am however surprised this has happened in the first place in view of the family losses described, as surely such tragedies make us more aware of how not to behave.  Either way, here's hoping that what everyone has tried to say to clona to help prevent possible future tragedies, has been truly and genuinely  taken on board by the party concerned.

 

Do you not think this is rude?

[[li...]]

Hey all I think we can stop arguing over who was rude vs who wasn't and so on... The issue is resolved so no need for anymore ill feelings about any of it.  just trying to help

[[ra...]]

Nope benzogirl, I  don't - but do think it's true. - I do however think this is disgracefully rude:

 

'If people crash because of me stopping at the yellow light, is their fault, not mine'

 

 

 

Now, as adults and fellow buddies,  I suggest we do as lila says and discontinue this discussion here and now. - End of.

[[be...]]

Nope benzogirl, I  don't - but I  do think it's true. - I do however think this is disgracefully rude:

 

'If people crash because of me stopping at the yellow light, is their fault, not mine'

 

I understand. Not rude, but rather crazy.

[[ra...]]

Amen Bets - we almost agree on something - but as said, think this subject has run its' course, so let's put it to bed, because as also said, we are adults,  and the aim of being a bb is surely to be supportive where possible, and if that means that there are times when things need to be said for the sake of others, (in this case innocent members of the public, be they pedestrians or drivers) then so be it. And I think it's fair to say that the big response to clona's thread has hopefully achieved this, and got the point home so that she comprehends and does the right thing in NOT driving until she is well and mentally capable - Am sure that's all any of us wanted to achieve by way of our replies

 

 

[[Cl...]]

Wow! So much bitterness in here!  , I prefer to be a toddler with temper tantrum and rude as I am instead of a mature but bitter person. Thus, This is a compliment Bets 

I do need to stop driving til I get my hormone back...but as I was not impulsive when happened, I am hopeful I will be driving very soon again 

Bets, I am seeing a therapist by the end of the month, I made the appointment a while ago for other issue, but I will ask her about this anger thing which was at the most last April, I shoutted like crazy at those guys but caused them no harm, I saw them again on July and we laughed and talked about my previous shoutting  ...toddlers temper do not last long and have a silly, but a nice way, to say sorry 

 

Peace,

Clona 

 

 

[[ra...]]

Very sadly, clona,  your last post confirms your inability to comprehend. But we all tried and can but hope that  one day in the future you will understand BEFORE it's too late !

 

I conclude by wishing you well.- Hoping you get all the help obviously needed soon. Meanwhile, try to curb the anger and enjoy your 'peace'.

[[be...]]

Amen Bets - we almost agree on something - but as said, think this subject has run its' course, so let's put it to bed, because as also said, we are adults,  and the aim of being a bb is surely to be supportive where possible, and if that means that there are times when things need to be said for the sake of others, (in this case innocent members of the public, be they pedestrians or drivers) then so be it. And I think it's fair to say that the big response to clona's thread has hopefully achieved this, and got the point home so that she comprehends and does the right thing in NOT driving until she is well and mentally capable - Am sure that's all any of us wanted to achieve by way of our replies

 

 

 

Amen too!  I guess I got my back up because Clona is such a good friend. I'm biased. Sorry. Now either she gets it or she doesn't. The ball on her side of the court now. :smitten: :smitten: :smitten: Thanks to all who have stepped in and tried to tell her what she was doing was just plain wrong.

Bets

[[be...]]

Wow! So much bitterness in here!  , I prefer to be a toddler with temper tantrum and rude as I am instead of a mature but bitter person. Thus, This is a compliment Bets 

I do need to stop driving til I get my hormone back...but as I was not impulsive when happened, I am hopeful I will be driving very soon again 

Bets, I am seeing a therapist by the end of the month, I made the appointment a while ago for other issue, but I will ask her about this anger thing which was at the most last April, I shoutted like crazy at those guys but caused them no harm, I saw them again on July and we laughed and talked about my previous shoutting  ...toddlers temper do not last long and have a silly, but a nice way, to say sorry 

 

Peace,

Clona 

 

That's the best news I have heard in months. You go gal. I really think you need it.