SURVEY BB

[[be...]]

Still just two. Both newcomers.

[[...]]

I'm so sorry, Sweetie.  We're all here for you.  Keep letting it all out here.

 

You have only one thing to do now, and one thing only.  You are going to do everything in your power to get Esther's Mom back well and healthy again.  You are going to fight the fight of your life to get yourself healthy again for you and your beloved daughter.  Everything will fall into place after that.  You'll show everyone who they're dealing with, you have the strength of a tiger, and keep remembering that.

 

<a href="http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=113166.msg1498435;topicseen#msg1498435">Here, for you!</a>

 

[[...]]

Where are you going, and where will she be?

And is what he is doing legal? 

Or is it all emotional blackmail?

Do you feel physically threatened?

[[...]]

Sorry for all the questions.  And I truly understand how your head is spinning right now.

 

Where are they going when the year is up?  He's from Egypt, am I correct?

 

Have you spoken with a lawyer?

 

Is it possible for you to separate but stay in Manila somewhere close to your daughter?

 

In reality, can he really force you back into a psych ward?  Is it just emotional manipulation, or can it legitimately happen, for whatever reason?

[[...]]

Just looked at your past posts, Eva.  Why don't you direct everyone to this thread, your thread, and we can all chat it out together?

 

[[...]]

I just want to make sure we're tying up any loose ends with regard to Esther.  Knowing what legal rights you have.  How's it going to look in the future for you.  All those very important issues.

 

It's all very well and good that he's trying to control you and he has control of the purse strings, but if you choose to stay in Manila, that should be none of his business.  I'm trying to figure out what he legally has over you, not just the emotional crap, you know.

 

And better to think clearly now while you're still in the country.  Once you leave, it may look very bad in the courts later on.

 

Have you spoken to a lawyer?  Maybe there's one who will give you some free legal advice. 

 

Don't let him bully you!

[[Fl...]]

I'M HERE....TOO

 

LET'S KEEP YOU HERE EVA...SO, WE CAN ALL TALK TO YOU HERE!

 

THIS WAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUMP AROUND FROM THREAD TO THREAD.

 

FLUTER 

[[Te...]]

Hiya Eva, we're gathering around for ya...keep that strength you show so much of...deep breath...stretch...deep breath...when you catch a bit of calm, try to spell it all out in order so we can see what we're working with...and wiggle yer hips and smile like only you do...

[[Ch...]]

listen to his blah blah:

 

its an AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU,

to show to Esther how strong you are,,,

you came to switzerland, you learn french, you did 2 years of swiss law school,

so hard even for swiss, you can do anything you get your mind on!!!!

Prove to Esther how strong you are as a Mother,

became someone amazing , so she can be proud with you,

not a crying victim leaching on me!!!!!

 

profanity in lihuanian: ********** !!!!

 

Profanity is profanity, Eva, no matter what language it's in.  Google Translate refuses to tell me what this means so it must be pretty bad!

We'd really like you to start a blog but if you won't and you're going to hang out here, here's a reminder of the rules everyone agreed to when they registered:

 

 

Please do not post profanity - disguised or otherwise - at this forum. Members will have differing sensitivities to the use of swear words, so it is better to avoid their use altogether. The use of profanity can also contribute to a less calm atmosphere. If a swear word is mild and infrequent, or if the member is particularly upset at the time, we might choose to let the rule infraction go unchallenged. Do not take any such examples of such leniency as a green light to post more of the same.

 

Thanks for understanding... Challis 

[[...]]

yeah, he is pushing this stuff on me...

i have no rights, I'm fully dependant on him,,,

I'm here because of him,,,,

and I'm leaving or going to psych ward.....

 

also repeating me to go to lthuania,,,,

no way I'm going there,,,,

its so scary and depressing,,,,,

its shit there,,,,

people are so depressed there,,,,

 

 

I'm freaking when he leaves to make calls, I'm imagining psych ward coming,,,,

 

:'( :'( :'(

[[Fl...]]

yeah, he is pushing this stuff on me...

i have no rights, I'm fully dependant on him,,,

I'm here because of him,,,,

and I'm leaving or going to psych ward.....

 

also repeating me to go to lthuania,,,,

no way I'm going there,,,,

its so scary and depressing,,,,,

its shit there,,,,

people are so depressed there,,,,

 

 

I'm freaking when he leaves to make calls, I'm imagining psych ward coming,,,,

 

EVA,

 

I IN NO WAY MEAN THIS TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS...OKAY!

 

THIS MAY SOUND BLUNT.....

 

HOW IS IT THAT HE CAN HAVE YOU PUT IN THE PSYCH HOSPITAL?  I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS.  ARE YOU IN THE SYSTEM IN MINILA?  ARE YOU BEING TREATED NOW...BY A DOCTOR?  OR IS THIS JUST A SCARE TACTIC HE IS USING TO CONTROL YOU.

 

AND NOW, EVA...I MUST ASK...WHY WERE YOU IN THE PSYC HOSPITAL 2 TIMES BEFORE?

 

I FEEL LIKE WE ARE ALL WANTING TO HELP YOU AND GIVE YOU HELPFUL ADVICE; HOWEVER, I FEEL THAT WE ARE MISSING A PART OF THE BIGGER PICTURE.

 

FIRST AND FOREMOST...IF IT WERE MY DAUGHTERS...I WOULD FIND OUT WHAT MY RIGHTS WERE.  THERE IS NO WAY ON "GOD'S GREEN EARTH" A MAN COULD GET ME TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND LEAVE MY GIRLS BEHIND.

 

YOU ARE STRONG, AND YOU SEEM INTELLEGENT...FIND OUT WHAT YOUR RIGHTS ARE....ESTHER HAS 2 PARENT'S, AND TRUST ME...YOU AREN'T NEEDED TO CONVINCE ESTHER THAT HER FATHER HAS A MEAN STREAK...SHE IS 6 AND SHE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT FOR HER SELF.

 

I PRAY THAT "EVERYTHING" WORKS OUT FOR YOU...I PRAY THAT "YOU GET THE RIGHT INFORMATION" TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER, BUT MOSTLY....I PRAY THAT "YOU" WILL GAIN CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE.

 

ABOVE ALL...ESTHER NEEDS TO BE THE FOCUS, AND SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SAFE!

 

GOD BLESS YOU AND ESTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

FLUTER :smitten:

[[...]]

Hang in there, Baby.  Here, for you ... http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=113166.msg1670749#new

 

[[...]]

Hang in, Sweetie, we're all here for you! 

That's so lovely you leaving Esther with your perfume and the dress she loves so much, I'm sure it'll bring her a lot of comfort. 

[[...]]

I'm here, Sweetie.

 

You *ARE* the best mother.  Even the best mothers get little boo-boos now and again.  You have a little boo-boo now and because you love her so much, you're taking the time to get yourself all healthy again for *her* and for *yourself*. 

 

I'm sure you're also leaving her a lovely, loving letter, where you'll tell her in no uncertain terms that you're absolutely not leaving her, that it's not your choice that all you're doing now is getting yourself well again for her.  And then you'll be together again. 

 

She has the strongest mother on the planet and I know this will be a driving force like no other for you.  Do you feel well enough to be able to hold down a job of sorts?

 

Who is this Isabelle (I think that was the name) that you mentioned?  Is she a good and loving influence in your daughter's life?

 

If he's still being responsible enough to pay for your necessities, e.g. boots, try not to be too proud, go ahead and buy everything you think you'll be needing to make your life comfortable.  e.g. work clothes, winter coat, etc.

 

I know it's scary, Sweetie, but you've done a lot of traveling already.  It's only England, nothing really out of the ordinary, you'll be just fine, it'll all fall into place.

 

Keep playing your strong songs and reaching out here.  Challis is right, I think you need to set up a blog when you're ready.

 

Love you, Kid, one step at a time! 

[[...]]

Just another thought, Eva.  There has to be patient advocacy groups in Lithuania or even in Manila.  Or a distress line who might be able to assist with on the ground support and with help in dealing with your parents. 

 

Just keep a very clear head and plan your strategy.  Find yourself some real life professional support.

 

And no doubt, you will win big time!!!

[[Fl...]]

HI EVA,

 

I'M JUST READING EVERYTHING THAT HAS GONE ON SINCE YESTERDAY.

 

SWEETIE, I KNOW YOU MUST BE...FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.  TRY TO STAY CALM.

 

EVA, PLEASE DO NOT THREATEN TO HARM YOURSLEF...AS THIS WILL ONLY GIVE THEM (YOUR PARENT'S/HUSBAND) SOMETHING TO USE AGAINST YOU.

 

RIGHT NOW...LOOK TO YOUR FAITH EVA.  I KNOW YOU HAVE IT...BECASUE I HAVE SEEN YOU TALK ABOUT IT.  IT MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.  PLESASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOURSELF...AS THIS WILL HURT ESTHER FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

 

DOES YOUR SISTER LIVE IN LITHUANIA?  CAN YOU STAY WITH HER?  DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER ALTERNATIVE?  DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS IN LITHUANIA THAT YOU COULD STAY WITH.  I KNOW WE ARE ASKING LOTS OF QUESTIONS...WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP.

 

FLUTER

 

 

[[be...]]

Jesus, I was late in this thread and just read the last seven pages. At first my goal was to say there were two moderators on board. What the heck is going on Eva? Where are you now? Do you have a way of communicating with us? What the F***K is wrong with that horrible person you married? The best decision I ever made was divorcing my husband. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I don't know what the laws are where you live, but a person in the US cannot be involuntary committed to a psych ward unless they say they are going to kill themselves or somebody else. Or if you are out of control, then your doc can ask for an involuntary hold, called 5150. Your family just can't commit you. How are you going to live long term with just $2,000? Like abcd said:

 

BE SMART ABOUT THIS AND DON'T EVER TELL ANYONE YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF!

 

You need to find legal representation ASAP. Even if you are in a psych ward, you can do this. The best thing to do is remain calm, get out of a psych ward (if you are in one), and find some place to live. If you are able, then find yourself a job. I don't know if you are a lawyer or not yet, but surely you can work as a legal aid. This whole thing has really upset me, because I like you so much and your posts are so funny. Plus, you dearly love your daughter, to the point of putting her name in your online name. I think the worst thing that can happen to a mom is being separated from her children. Please, start a new thread or a blog, so we can focus solely on this horrible matter. Tell us when you do, please. My heart and soul go out to you. I believe this is the very saddest thread that I have ever read. And I still don't know the whole story. I will watch out for this thread every single day, several times a day, to learn more about your situation. Have hope and keep the faith. You are stronger than you know. And as for that horrible man, I can't say what I want to because Challis warned us not to do so. The best advice I can give: BE PROACTIVE! Just know that I am thinking and praying for you, my dear Eva. Many long distance hugs, Bets

[[Ki...]]

Hi Eva,

 

I've been very worried about you since reading your thread. This must be so overwhelming for you. I can only imagine how scared and vulnerable you feel right now.

 

How is old is yor daughter? Does she understand what's happening?

 

Is there absolutely anyone you trust that you can depend on right now?

 

I did some reading on involuntary psychiatric admissions in Lithuania in the hopes that something can be done. From everything I've be able to research it does not appear that you can be placed in the psychiatric ward against your will....UNLESS you are in danger of harming yourself or others.

 

Here is a very informative link that will detail you basic human rights.

 

http://fra.europa.eu/sites/default/files/involuntary-placement-and-involuntary-treatment-of-persons-with-mental-health-problems_en.pdf

[[Ki...]]

What makes you think you might not be safe here, Eva? Has something happened?

[[...]]

yeah, monsters know my flight details....

im so SCARED,,,,,,

[[Ki...]]

I'm sorry, Eva....I don't understand. What monsters?

[[...]]

my parents, that dragged me twice to psych ward,,,,,

[[...]]

It's perfectly normal to feel scared right now, anyone in your shoes would. 

 

Just remember your goal, Sweetie.  Please! 

[[Ki...]]

Did you read the link I sent you? You cannot be involuntarily held unless you have "mental illness" AND are threatening to harm yourself or others. I hope that gives you some comfort....

[[...]]

Will update more when will be safe....

Thanks guys for support and links....I red it....