Taint a wish!

[[be...]]

Granted...but you are a slice of double chocolate cheesecake, and the fork is on its way...

 

IWIC

solve all my problems...

 

Granted. But then you would have nothing else to live for, except for that campfire, horse and shrubs of yours. :laugh:

fwiw~~ send that fork over ASAP. I need to lose weight.

 

IWIC

 

Be 25 again. And know better than to take benzos.

[[Ro...]]

Granted, but you're 25 in Hexadecimal years, now.

 

IWIC

 

Lose a hundred pounds.

[[be...]]

Granted. But now you have to spend thousands buying a whole new set of clothes. And the only food that remains in your house is chocolate.

 

IWIC:

 

figure out how to titrate.

[[Ro...]]

Granted- but then you discover that such is the only way you can take drugs again.

 

IWIC- Find Atlantis.

[[be...]]

Granted- but then you discover that such is the only way you can take drugs again.

 

IWIC- Find Atlantis.

 

Granted. But it is really one of the Canary Islands that sunk. I hope you have scuba equipment.

 

IWIC: Never get grey hair.

[[Te...]]

Granted- but then you discover that such is the only way you can take drugs again.

 

IWIC- Find Atlantis.

 

Granted. But it is really one of the Canary Islands that sunk. I hope you have scuba equipment.

 

IWIC: Never get grey hair.

 

Granted...'Baldy'...

 

IWIC

Live my life for me...

[[Ro...]]

Granted- but you soon discover that your expectations don't match reality: Serf.

 

IWIC- Know the next winning lottery numbers ahead of time.

[[Te...]]

Granted...they are in your hot little hands...when you run out of gas on the way to buying your ticket, with 5 minutes left and ten minutes to the nearest store...and someone else is serfing the internet...

 

IWIC

Hear what Beethoven did...

 

 

[[Ro...]]

Granted- alas...all you can hear are his inspirations for the next phase of instrumentals: Accordions.

 

IWIC- play the bagpipes.

[[Ra...]]

Granted, but you can't help hyperventilating when you play them.

 

IWIC have a full body scanner like in Star Trek.  That way I could know exactly what's going on with my body whenever I start to panic over something...

 

[[Ro...]]

Granted- but it slowly starts to work like the full body scanner from Alien instead...

 

IWIC

 

grow the kind of flowers that makes the bumblebees come back.

[[be...]]

Granted- but it slowly starts to work like the full body scanner from Alien instead...

 

IWIC

 

grow the kind of flowers that makes the bumblebees come back.

 

Granted. But they might sting you.

 

IWIC:

 

Be as funny as texasstar

[[Ro...]]

Granted- but now you've got an invisible horse to feed. Not to mention all of the invisible horse apples to clean up.

 

IWIC- Understand what folks are saying when they sing.

[[Te...]]

Granted, but you discover they ALL sing "neigh, neigh, neigh!!!"...hoarsely...

 

IWIC

Find my damn horse...

[[Ro...]]

Granted, your eyes are drawn to that bottle of Elmer's.

 

IWIC- know the history of any food I examine.

[[Te...]]

Granted, your eyes are drawn to that bottle of Elmer's.

 

IWIC- know the history of any food I examine.

 

Granted, but now you have to eat it...

 

IWIC

find the ultimate Hawaiian shirt...

[[Ro...]]

Granted- but it fits around Maui.

 

IWIC- get out of these doldrums.

[[Te...]]

Granted- but it fits around Maui.

 

IWIC- get out of these doldrums.

 

Yes sir, you can...follow me into Anxiety Alley...

 

IWIC

Attend a festival without feeling agoraphobia...

[[Cr...]]

Granted, but you get tipped over while using the porta potty resulting in being covered in thousands of peoples feces and urine.

 

IWIC Go out for a night of reckless fun like I used to.

[[Ro...]]

Granted.- but every time  you do you wake up wearing some one else's shoes.  And there's no one else around.

 

IWIC- go back in time to slap myself around and knock some sense into me before I was stupid enough to try a 'muscle relaxant'.

[[Te...]]

Granted, but that just makes you tense...and forgetful...

 

IWIC

Find that 'just right' position in my bed that allows me to drift off...

[[Ro...]]

Granted- and you'll find it, 5 minutes before you have to get up. Which seems to be my problem too.

 

IWIC

 

Know how my cats know when I'm about to meditate, so I can cut them off at the pass, so to speak.  (Read for an hour- no cat, start meditating- cats demanding attention within 50 microseconds).

[[be...]]

Granted. You can shut your door while you meditate. But the cats will be sitting right outside meowing their heads off.

 

IWIC:

 

Be a real blond.

[[Ro...]]

Granted.

 

But all of the unreal blondes in the world become lethally jealous.

 

IWIC- Make myself distasteful to mosquitoes.

[[Te...]]

Granted, but you have to take my place in reply # 293...on second thought, just send all them bugs to me...no sense in anyone else.  EEEEUUUWWWW!!!!!!  going thru that...

IWIC

Figure out why Crazypants dislikes me so much to drop me under a portapotty...