Choosing a therapist?

[[An...]]

I have been to a (large) handful of therapists over the last year. I have had very little success and I'm not sure why that is but im sure it is partially my fault. I either clash with their personality (eg my last therapist literally would talk to me like I was an 8 year old child and it drove me insane), or they are so set in their ways that they refuse to believe their method doesn't work for you ( another therapist would ONLY discuss desensitization with me, every time I would say it makes me uncomfortable he would go back to taking smaller steps). I just haven't found anyone I have really clicked with. I have tried two EMDR therapists, CBT, countless different LISWs and a few others.

 

I personally have noticed a huge difference in working with an actually paychologist vs a social worker or someone who just has a counseling degree. I have learned countless relaxation techniques, a meditation and even acupuncture. I really have no idea how to go about finding someone other than using Google and hoping for the best. Does anyone have any reccomended type of therapist that has worked for them when all else has failed? Or any tips about choosing a therapist to pursue?

 

Side note: I swear, the majority of these tberapists I have worked with I have given a fair chance. I went for 3 months with my last therapist and she never dropped the whole talking to me like a child, and it just always seems like we eventually run out of things to work on? It's like they use all of their resources and then they are like well, I've done what I can sorry. My last appojtment where I drew the line she told me that whatever the first thing that came to my mind would be how I wos be able to overcome all of this and that the brain has a tendency to be able to heal itself. So she basically told me that I have spent sll this time working with her to overcome this but it's actually "within me" ... I have a hard time with that type of mindset. If I could heal myself I wouldn't be seeking therapy in the first place.

 

Ok, sorry for the lengthy post. Please if anyone has advice or recommendations it wod be greatly appreciated!!

[Guest [ba...]]

I've stayed with one therapist for almost a year, and have had similar experiences.  At times, I've felt talked to like a child.  At times, I've felt like she didn't understand or fully appreciate my side of an issue.  I've occasionally felt 'beat up' after sessions - sometimes that feeling lasts for days after a session.  I've also felt slow growth as a result of my time with her.

 

All of these experiences mirror real-life experiences and attitudes for me.  But at least there has been a useful dialog (unlike when this stuff happens in real life).  It's helped me to better understand, and has allowed me to see that there is more choice in my life than I usually see at first (I often feel trapped by life's situations which can bring me anxiety and/or depression). 

 

Is she the perfect therapist for me?  I doubt it, but who has time to look.  I did feel like leaving her once or twice, but that's also one of my methods of dealing with life's problems (taking my ball and leaving).  So, I've stuck it out and it's been a decent learning experience for me.  At the outset, she told me that the goal was not to have a 180 degree reversal of (anything) in one day.  We'd try to improve things one degree at a time.  Like a proper taper, this approach will take time, but I feel that it's helping me, albeit slowly.  The progress speed rubs against me as I'm a sprinter by nature, but in this case, I don't see a fast way thru this (else, I'd most certainly take it).

 

I'm rambling a bit, but I guess I'm trying to say that the therapist experience has been a mirror for me as much as anything.  She helps me to see the turmoil within myself, and that the 'fix' is internal rather than external.  I may not always like it, but then I don't always like me (and therein lies the problem). 

 

As for advice in choosing a therapist - Mine was recommended by a friend.  She's a holistic therapist (PhD psychologist).