please please please be nice to each other

[[Co...]]

babyangel, you are once again spreading untruths on the forum.  No one and I mean none of the team including Colin has access to reading a member's PM's under normal circumstances.  The only way we can read a member's personal message is if the Personal Message is Reported by the member who received the message using the Report Function at the bottom of the message.

 

And even if the message is reported, the reported message is only reported to the Administrative team and shared with the rest of the moderation team on a case-by-case basis.

 

As far as being "wronged" and what was "wrongfully done to you", in your opinion; in my personal opinion as far as in other forums I have moderated in the past, by the numerous problems you have caused us here on BenzoBuddies, most other forums would have banned you completely.  BenzoBuddies has been extremely generous to you in this respect.

 

Colin posted this link yesterday, reminding everyone in this thread of the proper channel for discussing moderation issues.  Here is the link again:  Policy for Disagreeing With A Moderator.

 

Let's drop discussing moderation issues in this thread please.

 

Juliea

 

Juliea:

 

I have to chime in here for a second about the PM issue, in general.  I HAVE seen people's messages reposted in the forums by moderators; I don't remember who was involved, but I have seen it a few times. I knew they were PMs because the moderator said they were, example "the reason we were angry at you, person x, its because you actually said "blah blah" and here is the private message that talks about it": repost.

 

That's happened more than once, and as a privacy advocate on matters where reasonable privacy should be expected (such as PM content) I don't condone that behavior, and also always found it tacky.

 

At any rate, I also think it's best for everyone here - mods and buddies alike - to leave past messages/threads alone and to move on. I'm glad to have a community like this for benzo support; it bugs me to see people being petty etc.

 

-tor

 

Hi torbjorn,

 

You will need to be specific. It would be an extremely unusual situation to post a PM to the forum. I did it a few months ago with a member who repeatedly caused us moderation issues. The situation was complicated and many members were in the dark about what was occurring. Since the PM just continued what was occurring on the boards, and clearly demonstrated the problems we were having with this member, I 'responded' to the PM in public.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=104773.msg1374111#msg1374111

 

There was an occasion about 18 months ago where Donna Payne (the secret partner of Scott Gaulke - the pathetic troll) - the one who ran a 'support forum', feeding Gaulke data - used some sock accounts here to create some problems. She then sent me an abusive e-mail - I published that too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=59748.msg819359#msg819359

 

(incidentally, Donna was lying (again) - she is the owner of the forum referenced in the above post/thread).

 

I agree with you in principle. Only if private communications are used as part of a pattern of deliberate disruption, and if pertinent to the discussion, would I consider publication. There might also be rare occasions where the use of a very short quote or paraphrasing might be appropriate (especially where someone seeks to misrepresent what has occurred). Yes, we need to be very careful and targeted when we do this.

 

If you would link to specific incidences, I will look at it. Though, I suspect that what you witnessed was the quoting of other forum posts (not PMs).

 

As for babyangel - she has (on several occasions) posted false accusations to this forum. For the record, we do not monitor PMs (no such function exists in the SMF software). There is, however, a function which allows members to report abusive or problematic PMs to the administrative team. If the report amounts to a moderation issue, then we might make the moderation team aware of the situation (so that they can properly monitor for related problems).

[[lo...]]

Hi Colin

 

I am sorry that you and your team have to put up with so much unpleasant behaviour. You do such a great job running this forum.

Hi BBs

 

Withdrawal is bad enough in itself. Adding to the misery by being unpleasant or otherwise indulging in negative behaviour just sucks. There is no excuse for it unless one is truly suffering from a psychiatric condition such as paranoia or psychosis which distorts one's view of reality.

 

I think we have now returned to the original purpose of this thread.

 

We are all suffering. Do not increase that suffering by behaving badly.

 

Good wishes for a speedy recovery to all.

 

 

LF

 

 

[[Co...]]

For clarification, I've edited a post of babyangel's, above. I left her original post intact at the top.

 

I am also approving a couple of her pre-moderated posts (you will find them above, too).

[[ba...]]

it shows some guilt colin if you wont drop this

[[Co...]]

it shows some guilt colin if you wont drop this

 

Babyangel,

 

My first post addressed torbjorn - not you. As for my second post: I have absolutely no idea what you mean. I have no idea why you would take issue with me tidying up the malformed quote boxes in your post, where your reply is buried within the quote of another member. I also commented that I had approved some of your posts and that they appear above. I did this so that other members would be made aware of your intervening new replies (delayed because they required approval). Otherwise they likely would miss them. I assumed you wished them to be read.

 

As for the general points and problems caused by some of your posts to this thread: you, yet again, asserted some untruths. We have been down this road with you many times before now. Some members of our team have moderated and/or adminned at other forums. Whilst they understand the reasons for our different, more lenient approach, they have commented that our members are afforded far more chances and opportunities than would occur at most other forums for similar behaviour.

 

 

Edit: I see that I did make mention of you in my post (I had forgotten). But, you instigated this by posting false claims to this thread. My comments about past (related) moderation issues regarding your membership are public record. You cannot expect to cause problems, publish lies, and then complain about my response addressing you and those lies.

[[sn...]]

It doesn't matter what we think. I think of the forum as going to visit someone at their home. You cant argue with their policies. If you do, you have to leave if you are told to. No hard feelings. That's just the way it is when you visit someone else's home. Actually, I think its fair. It may not sound fair, but when you think of it that way...it is. 

[[be...]]

It doesn't matter what we think. I think of the forum as going to visit someone at their home. You cant argue with their policies. If you do, you have to leave if you are told to. No hard feelings. That's just the way it is when you visit someone else's home. Actually, I think its fair. It may not sound fair, but when you think of it that way...it is. 

 

i hear what you're saying Sno. but my parents/ self always went/go out of our way to make our guests feel 'welcomed' while in our home and accommodate them as much as possible. yes rules are rules but sometimes that 'fine line' should be kept in check rather than crossed over......sorry you missed out on the fat jokes......yo mama is so fat her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.....

[[Be...]]

I have just read part of the thread "what porn does to your brain etc..."

 

What started off as an attempt to discuss a serious topic degenerated into sarcasm, hilarity etc and was eventually locked.

 

We all deserve respect and our posts should be treated seriously, not made fun of.

 

I had 3 months of being sexually over aroused and just HAD TO watch porn to alleviate it. I had no sexual partner. It was far from being funny and I am so glad it passed. The sexual over arousal subsided.

 

If you have nothing positive to say, say nothing.

 

 

----------------

 

I started this thread and to be fair the point of the thread was about responding appropriately to each others posts rather than the subject of porn.

 

Hope you are having a good day. 

-----------------

 

Hi Colin

 

I am sorry that you and your team have to put up with so much unpleasant behaviour. You do such a great job running this forum.

Hi BBs

 

Withdrawal is bad enough in itself. Adding to the misery by being unpleasant or otherwise indulging in negative behaviour just sucks. There is no excuse for it unless one is truly suffering from a psychiatric condition such as paranoia or psychosis which distorts one's view of reality.

 

I think we have now returned to the original purpose of this thread.

 

We are all suffering. Do not increase that suffering by behaving badly.

 

Good wishes for a speedy recovery to all.

 

 

LF

 

 

Hey LF,

 

I don't think it's too much to ask that your thread - which is clearly about showing each other respect, as indicated by its title and the context of the comments in your OP - be kept on topic.

 

I see a certain irony to this thread's origins & the way it's developed, but I'm re-quoting your OP and subseqent comments as a reminder of why this thread was created. 

 

My views, just as me with all my wd's & character flaws, is that there's a big difference - and I believe a very clear line - between having strongly differing opinions and attacking others.  Threads like this will always get a thumbsup from me because I support the idea of being able to strongly disagree in a debate without resorting to trolling.  As much as I'm capable of attacking others, I occasionally have to apply serious self-restraint on this particular forum, mostly due to a poly-withdrawal that isn't exactly easy to escape from!  I could do without the added stress of trolling just as much as anyone here. 

 

So, now that I've had time to process developments, I'd like to reinforce the focus of this thread, which is about showing others basic respect! 

 

Yeah, good idea!

 

 

B

[[lo...]]

Hi Benzoid

 

Thank you so much for that.

 

Yes, the irony was not lost on me either.

 

Here's to less suffering and more healing for all BBs. 

 

LF

 

 

[[Be...]]

^^ Amen to that!!

 

 

B

 

What the worlds needs now is love.

[[sn...]]

It doesn't matter what we think. I think of the forum as going to visit someone at their home. You cant argue with their policies. If you do, you have to leave if you are told to. No hard feelings. That's just the way it is when you visit someone else's home. Actually, I think its fair. It may not sound fair, but when you think of it that way...it is. 

 

i hear what you're saying Sno. but my parents/ self always went/go out of our way to make our guests feel 'welcomed' while in our home and accommodate them as much as possible. yes rules are rules but sometimes that 'fine line' should be kept in check rather than crossed over......sorry you missed out on the fat jokes......yo mama is so fat her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.....

Hey there BJ.  I definitely see where you are coming from. I cant believe you used the F word. I look like White Goodman from the movie Dodgeball. The before...and after.