How do you know you’re healed???

I’m quite far out now at 25 months off. I’m starting to have some very good windows, in which I start to feel like my old self, which is a huge relief after suffering for so long. I know it would be premature to call myself healed when I’m just in a window, but how do you know that you’ve healed and that another wave isn’t just around the corner? My windows are getting longer and better but I still keep falling back into a predictable wave. How do you know when it’s finished?

Good question.  I have come to the conclusion that I won't know that I am healed until a few years AFTER I am healed.  I am not as far out as you but I have had weeks when I thought I was healed only to have another wave.  I guess I let go of being able to say that I am "healed" for being able to say I am "healthy".  But of course, this makes staying healthy even more of a priority. 

When people get far out enough to say they have Windows followed by a wave, are the usually able to function at this point? I.e. Work, lead a normal life

 

Congrats on getting so far out from benzos. That is victory in it itself!

Do you remember life before benzos? I do in some ways. So healthy people have windows that last a long time they call them "feeling normal" and they have waves that last a few days to maybe even a week or two, they call it "a little run down." Their lives are an ebb and flow of these cycles with far less time spent feeling a little run down.

 

We cannot wait till we feel perfect, that day never comes....

 

Well done, you are probably through, still take care!

One thing that I have noticed over the last several month’s is that even when I get hit with large amounts of stress or things that rev up my symptoms, the intensity & severity of my symptoms has diminished significantly. I’m basically feeling exactly as I did before I ever introduced benzo’s back into my life. Every so often maybe once every couple weeks now I’ll get a mini wave where some old symptoms will resurface for a very short period of time but nowhere near the level that they used to. I consider myself 98% healed at 11 month’s. Things have progressively gotten better for me & only continue to. I myself have wondered the same thing about knowing when ur healed. And now it seems to me that things seem to just fade away & life begins to resume as it did before this mess. And personally, I feel like I have a much greater appreciation for the little things & am much more health conscious than I ever was. I love life again & am actually grateful that I was shown the dangers of this medication at a younger age. I know for a fact that I will never consume another benzo again as long as I have control over what goes into my body. I rarely think about how I’m feeling in relation to benzo’s. Everyone has good & bad days. So on days where I don’t feel great, I understand that that is completely normal for everyone, those that have taken benzo’s as well as those that haven’t. So the fact that I can get a great nights sleep, wake up, & have an incredibly productive day? Makes me feel healed even if I am not completely.

That is so good to hear Easy!  You have arrived.  Does my brain a great service to read about healing.  It's good to see ya around the board encouraging others.  Maybe I set my bar I little low but my c/t was so horrendous that I feel lucky to get days and even weeks where I can function pretty well.  Sure I get the waves of crappy sxs that slow my living down...but it passes.  I don't have periods of time where I don't have sxs at all.  But this is ok as long as I can function and live again.  I took the poison for so long that it's tough to recall feeling really great in the past 10 years or so.  I believe my baseline is near.  Can only go up from there if I keep up the work.  The best to all.

That is so good to hear Easy!  You have arrived.  Does my brain a great service to read about healing.  It's good to see ya around the board encouraging others.  Maybe I set my bar I little low but my c/t was so horrendous that I feel lucky to get days and even weeks where I can function pretty well.  Sure I get the waves of crappy sxs that slow my living down...but it passes.  I don't have periods of time where I don't have sxs at all.  But this is ok as long as I can function and live again.  I took the poison for so long that it's tough to recall feeling really great in the past 10 years or so.  I believe my baseline is near.  Can only go up from there if I keep up the work.  The best to all.

 

Thanks Dove, u will get better too. I understand that it is difficult to see this while in the midst of such a horrible state but it does happen. I spent over 2 year’s in tolerance withdrawal progressively getting worse & worse over time not understanding why. I was also severely kindled due to starting & stopping this medication more times than I can count. On top of that, in Nov 2017’ I stopped taking my xanax several days before a medical procedure & was thrown into a medication induced psychosis bc of it. Didn’t sleep for over a week & was finally 51/50’d on a 72 hr hold due to hallucinations. I took opioids for several year’s before & during my benzo usage, drank alcohol whenever I pleased, as well as used & abused other drugs all concurrently. After my CT, I had a period of about 2.5 month’s where I would run to the ER close to 5 times a week. I was bedridden, lost over 30 lbs, couldn’t tolerate any medications, caffeine, or sugar. Yet here I am, 11 month’s from a CT of 4 mg’s of xanax after close to 4 year’s of use & abuse & feel better than I have in the last 9-10 year’s of my life. By no means did this happen overnight or come without struggle. I’ve worked & pushed harder than I ever have everyday for several month’s now. But regardless, my point is that we do heal. And it isn’t always going to take year’s to get your life back. I know how difficult this can be, & continues to be, but I’m not going to let it dictate how I live the rest of my life. So for those that r discouraged, or feel like everyone heals is bs? It’s not true, every organ in our body including the brain is designed to self heal. All in due time. Positivity makes a HUGE difference during this process. Believing that things get better & will continue to get better plays a paramount roll imo. For me? Setting daily goals for myself has been one of the biggest helps. No matter how little they r, as long as ur able to accomplish something everyday, that puts u one step ahead of where u were. All in due time. Take care & all the best

LOVE this EasyDoes it! Thank you!

I’m quite far out now at 25 months off. I’m starting to have some very good windows, in which I start to feel like my old self, which is a huge relief after suffering for so long. I know it would be premature to call myself healed when I’m just in a window, but how do you know that you’ve healed and that another wave isn’t just around the corner? My windows are getting longer and better but I still keep falling back into a predictable wave. How do you know when it’s finished?

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see in your signature that you suffered hallucinations. Can you share with me the specifics of your hallucinations? There are many different kinds and many different degrees of intensity. Thanks in advance.

 

As to when you are healed.... I was a good 5 years out before I thought I was healed.

That went out the window when I started to drink. It launched some sort of kindling effect that has had me in alcohol withdrawal for two years now.

 

So, after 5 years I was not healed. perminant damage had been done.

 

Be aware, I had one of the worst withdrawals. Not many here go through it. You guys that did know who you are. 

 

I am sure minor benzo withdrawal (which most are) does not mean you can't ever drink again.