I need HELP! I'm so sick and discouraged.

[[sa...]]

I just started titrating last week, and I'm in hell now.  I can't believe this is happening to me again! :'(  Please share or encourage if you've been through what I'm going through:

 

Almost instantly addicted to 30mgs Temazapam prescribed in hospital, had no choice about it.

Hit tolerance within one week.

2 mg cut knocked me down. 

 

SX:

 

bad insomnia

nausea, no appetite, weight loss

thrush infection

tingling/burning in throat, mouth, face

mad depression

anxiety

weak, shaky muscles

extreme anguish and grief over what I've been through and how much more I will have to suffer

Anguish over my kids losing the mom they knew to this demon drug

Crazy bad food allergies, everything makes it worse

Thinking I'll either die or always be like this

 

Please send some help and encouragement my way, I feel so alone with my anguish.  :'(

 

 

[[ak...]]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time...hang in there it WILL get better...I am 6 months benzo free and have my life back finally...it's been a really hard road but life is so much better now than it ever was on the benzos and it was worth the hell I went through to get to this point...I was sure I would NEVER get better but I did...you will too.

[[sa...]]

thank you.  I've been through a CT before and it was total hell.  I thought this taper would be easier, but it's turning out to pretty hellish as well.  My body just hates these drugs.  I'm tempted to CT, but I have too many horrific memories about the first time I did it.

[[Mi...]]

Sagemom I am so sorry you are suffering.  You are not alone in your anguish!  All of us here understand what you are going through and we care.  I am in the midst of a bad wave too and so I can relate to all of your symptoms.  We will not always be like this.  YOU will not always be like this.  You will get off these demon drugs and your brain and nervous system will heal.  You will reclaim your self, your life and your health.  Visualize the end goal.  Maybe it is you, healthy, joyous and free walking on a beautiful beach with the warm sun on your face and your children scampering ahead.  You will get there!  WE will get there.

 

MiniMinnie

[[He...]]

I just started titrating last week, and I'm in hell now.  I can't believe this is happening to me again! :'(  Please share or encourage if you've been through what I'm going through:

 

Almost instantly addicted to 30mgs Temazapam prescribed in hospital, had no choice about it.

Hit tolerance within one week.

2 mg cut knocked me down. 

 

SX:

 

bad insomnia

nausea, no appetite, weight loss

thrush infection

tingling/burning in throat, mouth, face

mad depression

anxiety

weak, shaky muscles

extreme anguish and grief over what I've been through and how much more I will have to suffer

Anguish over my kids losing the mom they knew to this demon drug

Crazy bad food allergies, everything makes it worse

Thinking I'll either die or always be like this

 

Please send some help and encouragement my way, I feel so alone with my anguish.  :'(

 

Sagemom,

 

I have all the above (other than thrush infection) plus a few others.

 

It is completely NORMAL - you are not going to die and you are not going to always feel like this.

 

Don't think there is much you can do about most of it, other than the way you look at it, hard as it is, It is all normal. Read what others are going through, and you will read your own story over many many times. It is a tough road to tread, but when I get caught up in the "what ifs" I take the advice from Bliss in the Benzo-Wise book. Question yourself if it ultimately is going to be the way you think it is - of course the answer is no. Are there other possibilities? Of course there are.

 

It is a tough journey, but one you are DEFINITELY not alone with. Everyone else around here is either on it with you, or has completed it. The Temazepam is what has made you sick, part of that sickness is the anguish over your kids and thinking you wll always be this way or you may die. These are symptoms of withdrawal, alongside depression, nausea and insomnia. It helps to look at these thoughts like that, and indeed it is true.

 

Your chemistry is screwed up bad, and your brain and nervous system need time to come back into balance. Take a step back and let time heal.

 

My thoughts are with you, I know what it is like, as does everyone else here, we all have or have had seriously challenging days, weeks, months or even years to deal with. But at the end of it all you CAN heal, and you will.

 

I like reading the success stories, and thinking about what it would be like to feel okay again (not easy sometimes), but, with perseverence and strength that is where we are all headed.

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I'm so sorry for your pain Sagemom, we have all been there and it DOES get better! There is nothing different about you that will prevent you from getting better as well.

[[ak...]]

Yeah CT is HORRIBLE...I almost feel like I have PTSD from the experience...it's so hard to say what's the better thing to do...a taper or cold turkey...I have a friend who did CT and taper... she felt the taper was much easier to handle but she did it VERY slowly over months...I think it's different for everyone and you have to do what best fits you and your situation...I don't work and my kids are older so I if I couldn't get off the couch or out of bed for weeks it wasn't too much of an inconvenience...if I had to work or had little kids I don't think I could have done it CT...but that's me.

[[He...]]

Akmom, I hear you.

 

I think about jumping from my last 1.4mg Diazepam often, but I have two young kids, and could not bear to put them through it. It's hard enough for me on a slow taper.

[[ak...]]

Henry,

 

One of the hardest parts of w/d for me was feeling like my kids were suffering through it too but I am now so much more involved in their lives and there for them physically and best of all mentally...this is a tough road for everyone in our lives but so worth it...

[[Be...]]

Sagemom,

 

Whenever you switch from a pill to titration, there can be (and often is) the feeling of a cut - even when you keep the dosage constant. If you switched and also cut a dosage, you probably are feeling a double whammy. Things should stabilize and then be better. However, titration isn't always a bed of roses either. Things will catch up to you and hit you pretty hard unless, perhaps, you are going very very slowly. Even then, I have my doubts. Nonetheless, the idea is that it is less painful and easier to tolerate, allowing you to continue with other aspects of your life a bit better. I am currently at a wall at 0.56 mg K and waiting to stabilize until I can move forward. I thought I was there a couple of days ago, but not quite where I need to be.

[[He...]]

Henry,

 

One of the hardest parts of w/d for me was feeling like my kids were suffering through it too but I am now so much more involved in their lives and there for them physically and best of all mentally...this is a tough road for everyone in our lives but so worth it...

 

Nice to hear 

[[La...]]

You are going really fast , you are  cutting mg every night not ml which I am doing, maybe you feel you need to do it this way because of your short time on the drug, maybe you could cut some and then hold and see if you feel better,  I am sorry you are having such an awful time, I think maybe you should slow it dowm IMO , hope things improve for you whichever way you takcle it,  you can and will do this for your kids and yourself Ladygrace 

[[Sp...]]

Sagemom-so sorry for your suffering. Have you found a way to deal with the thrush? I am also trying to get rid of it but am having a hard time finding something to help. I hope you are doing better, I lost my phone and internet for days due to a lightning strike and it's been rough.