For the moms...

[[pa...]]

Hi Guys,

 

I'll try and make this short.  I'm a mom. I have 2 young kids.  Part of my REAL anxiety is the guilt I feel for not being the kind of mom I want to be right now.  Too much d/r to go to the library or the zoo.  Nuff said.

 

Today, I dyed Easter eggs with them and I realized something!  I CANNOT generate creative ideas right now like I used to, but if I can do ONE thing special with them every day, that will relieve the internal, subconscious anxiety I feel when I go to lay down to sleep at night.

 

So I got a wild idea to ask my parents to go and buy small craft kits that I can do with the kids.  They are simple and cheap and you can get them at Target, Michael's, JoAnne's, Wal-Mart.  I dont' care what the kits are - put together a wooden car that comes with a paint kit and brush, etc.  Just buy a lot of them.  And that way, I dont' have to work hard to play with toys when my language just isnt' there right now! I can do things that are visual with my hands - but if i have to think of what to say when playing with toys, I feel like an actor who lost her script!

 

Anyhow - just give a friend, your husband, a neighbor - whoever - some money - and get some of these.  Who knows how long the hardest dog days of benzo w/d will go on, but this is part of what I am doing to cope. 

 

As a mom, my biggest joy are my kids. But I cannot always connect with my feelings or my mind right now in the way I used to. This kinda stuff will relieve the guilt -because deep down, I know I can paint and put together a truck -and the kids won't know the differnce.

 

That does my heart (and my anxiety) good.

 

:)Parker

[[Ti...]]

Yes, the kids guilt is bad.  Not only for them, but for the time that I am losing with them because I am feeling so sick.  Even if I push through things (and they think I am fine) it sucks that I cannot be 100% present and enjoying this special and fleeting time in their lives.  This is so not what I had imagined even 6 months ago.  I guess life just throws curve balls and gotta go with it.  Yes, I like doing crafty things--it does help--especially because the last month I have been so weak and fatigued that it's tough to walk around the zoo, etc.  I am hoping to feel better by summer b/c that's when there are all the fun outdoor activities like the beach, etc.  Always loved the summertime, but now I am sorta dreading it because of all the SUNLIGHT.  Good grief!

[[In...]]

Ladies,

 

I had 2 kids that are now adults. And I was young and depressed and felt alone. I was not using any benzo, but I was just too young and immature and I didn't always emotionally connect with them cause I couldn't.

 

I did the best I could and I know that now. But I look back and think I could have done better.

 

So this happens even w/o benzos and w/ds going on. You're just doing your best and you care. That's what matters.

 

Intend

[[ka...]]

i think you guys are the greatest moms in the world just for getting off these evil meds so you can have a better life with your kids love in JESUS....kate7

[[An...]]

Thank you Parker, great idea. I will get some crafts, this is my worst guilt too. It would be different if it was just me.

[[af...]]

Mom guilt! Ugh! I hardly slept last night I felt so horrible! I have four children. Two we adopted last May. Our youngest will be turning 6 in about a week and a half and it's her first b'day in America with us...I want to want to give her a big party with lots of creative stuff to do etc but I am frozen in fear and overwhelmed. I don't even have plans for Easter yet!!!!! Ugh!

I guess the positive on this is that we all know we will get through feeling like this right??

I am down to 1/4mg of Klonopin. I am tempted to be so angry but don't want to live in that place. The last two days have been filled with guilt for me. Anybody have any positive thoughts or good recovery stories to share with us mom's?

I think we could all use that.

Thanks. Oh and thanks Parker for posting your ideas!

 

[[He...]]

Parker, thank you so much!

 

I am a dad, (so this is not just for the moms!!!  ) I worry too about lack of interaction with the kids at a time they really need it.

 

I had the same idea as you - but I was thinking as something to keep ME distracted from the symptoms, what a great idea to incorporate the kids, I actually thought maybe not such a great idea, as the kids would be climbing all over me if I was doing something arty! Can't believe I was so narrow minded! I am going to do this too, thanks a million!!!!!

[[...]]

I've been doing this with my toddler.  Unfortunately, it's one of the few things I can offer her right now since I can't go to the park, the mall, etc. She actually loves doing arts and crafts, so that's how we're bonding right now. I've found soooo many neat and easy crafts to make on Pinterest. OMG!  I'm addicted to that website! It's amazing the things you can do out of rolls of toilet paper, food coloring, flour, etc. Very basic things that many of us already have at hand.

 

We usually do at least one art project a day.  Yesterday we did something different. We made ice cream out of just 3 ingredients (half and half, sugar--stevia for me, vanilla extract)...We did it in 5 minutes without an ice cream machine and she loved it! 

 

Now I just need to find things to do with my baby (other than eat and play with toys).  I'm thinking about home made, non toxic, safe to eat finger paints or something like that.

 

Honestly, Pinterest is helping me survive this ordeal. I've always loved arts and crafts. In fact, for years I did fine art (watercolors, oil, acrylics). Now I'm doing mostly crafts, much simpler things than before, but sometimes it brings joy out of me...Even when I don't feel like doing it, I force myself to do at least one craft a day and many times I end up feeling good about it.