a grand total of 20 months, my life as a whole is a better thing

[[sw...]]

Today is 10 months benzo free following 10 months of tapering.  I can't even begin to form an opinion on that.  My life is so different than what I was picturing for myself 20 months ago, but with the exception of having to endure some a severe illness, my life is so much better than it would have been if this had never happened to me.  I've made maximum use of my down time, even on the many days where I was largely too sick to get out of bed.

 

In a round about way, it kind of reminds me of an experience I had at a concert where a girl who apparently wanted my fairly prime spot close to the stage with a good view attacked me full on without any provocation punching me and grabbing me by my neck.  The crowd was too tight for her to really have enough room to do any real damage, but my only real option was to leave the area since she was very violent and wasn't going to stop.  I slunk off to the side, very displeased that this girl had cowed me out of my spot, no less during the song I was especially there to see that night.

 

As I stood there very dejected, all of a sudden an acquaintance spotted me and ran up pleased to see me and it turned out that he was in charge of some aspect of running the show that night and slapped a backstage pass on me and I went on to have a fabulous night because of it- a night that I never would have had had I been in the thick of the crowd where he couldn't have seen me.

 

The comparison here is that in both cases I feel like something so deeply uncool that I don't even have the words to describe it was done to me, but that in both cases other people's best efforts to do something terrible to me ultimately panned out into extremely positive experiences.  I have made new friends, connected deeply with old friends, become quite good at the piano which I had not played since I was a teenager, read good books and caught up on good movies.  That doesn't mean that the people who did this to me are off the hook, but it does mean that despite their best efforts my life is a better thing that it was before withdrawal. 

 

I am happy and confident and loved, and I wish the same for everyone else, here.  And, to answer the question everyone wants to know of those further along than they are, yes, it does get better.

 

Much love.

 

[[Mi...]]

Sweet G,

 

Thank you for your encouraging story.  I loved your analogy between your two experiences.  You are really a "glass is 3/4 full" kind of person to list all the positives of going through benzo withdrawal!  It makes me want to look at my own experience a little differently too.  Its true that this thing has slowed me down considerably.  Perhaps instead of whinging about not being able to do X I will start being grateful I have the time to now do Y.  Your post really picked me up today.  Thank you.

 

MiniMinnie

[[sw...]]

[[pa...]]

What a nice story, Sweet G.  Congratulations.

[[An...]]

Very encouraging, thank you 

[[Sa...]]

I don't think I would have gone back to school if It wasn't for Benzo-withdrawal. And not only that, I don't think I would be getting a 4.0 right now if it weren't for benzo withdrawal. I've been so secluded from the world that school work has become a hobby almost, and I've been getting everything done that I've needed to, plus some. In addition, I don't think I would have stopped smoking cigarettes if I hadn't entered the dark realm of benzo withdrawal. The nicotine would inflame my nervous system causing unwanted anxiety/paranoia. The moral of the story is that even great things can come from the most unhappiest of places.

 

Good story sweet G. It gave me strength!

-Sam

[[sp...]]

I'm still on benzos, but my issue with them was the thing that finally kicked me in the head and forced me to take a hard look at my life, and my life for the past couple months has been better in a lot of ways than for the several years before that, with pretty limited exception. Glad to hear you feel even better, I can hardly wait to be 10-12-18 months off.

[[Re...]]

Sweet g,

 

You know I'm a huge fan of your other post and I was very happy to read this today.

 

You are fantastic.

 

Xox

Pam

[[sw...]]

Sweet g,

 

You know I'm a huge fan of your other post and I was very happy to read this today.

 

You are fantastic.

 

Xox

Pam

 

[[sw...]]

I don't think I would have gone back to school if It wasn't for Benzo-withdrawal. And not only that, I don't think I would be getting a 4.0 right now if it weren't for benzo withdrawal. I've been so secluded from the world that school work has become a hobby almost, and I've been getting everything done that I've needed to, plus some. In addition, I don't think I would have stopped smoking cigarettes if I hadn't entered the dark realm of benzo withdrawal. The nicotine would inflame my nervous system causing unwanted anxiety/paranoia. The moral of the story is that even great things can come from the most unhappiest of places.

 

Good story sweet G. It gave me strength!

-Sam

 

[[sw...]]

I'm still on benzos, but my issue with them was the thing that finally kicked me in the head and forced me to take a hard look at my life, and my life for the past couple months has been better in a lot of ways than for the several years before that, with pretty limited exception. Glad to hear you feel even better, I can hardly wait to be 10-12-18 months off.