when does one call it quits??

[[Mb...]]

friends,

 

my story is so f'd up. i have been off benzos for 4 and 1/2 years. in that time frame i have healed and gotten sick literally 4 times. i am feeling great - then have surgery and get sick again - heal from that - have surgery again and get sick - etc. this had now happened 4 times, and this last flare comes after being free from all interruptions for 20 months.

 

i felt absolutely amazing. i felt the end. it was amazing.

 

on december 27 a huge flare started that has made me very sick again. i am no completely positive what caused the flare, but it is still extremely intense, and essentially feels like pressing restart on my recovery.

 

these drugs have literally destroyed my brain. ANYTHING i put into my body makes me as sick as a dog - and pretty much restarts my recovery.

 

when does one call it quits? i have put so much of my life into this, and am now very far away from the end again. i am literally contemplating my ability to do this process over again - my ability to endure the phases and suffering of this process.

 

i am without words and do not know what to do. it ended, and now i am very sick again - and am armed with the torture of knowing how things should be in the end. please help support.

 

m

[[fi...]]

I certainly hope things improve for you.  You've come so far I would hate to see you go back on the benzos now.  Perhaps some other buddies who have successfully weaned can give you some encouragement/advice.

 

Sincerely,

 

fg

[[th...]]

friends,

 

my story is so f'd up. i have been off benzos for 4 and 1/2 years. in that time frame i have healed and gotten sick literally 4 times. i am feeling great - then have surgery and get sick again - heal from that - have surgery again and get sick - etc. this had now happened 4 times, and this last flare comes after being free from all interruptions for 20 months.

 

i felt absolutely amazing. i felt the end. it was amazing.

 

on december 27 a huge flare started that has made me very sick again. i am no completely positive what caused the flare, but it is still extremely intense, and essentially feels like pressing restart on my recovery.

 

these drugs have literally destroyed my brain. ANYTHING i put into my body makes me as sick as a dog - and pretty much restarts my recovery.

 

when does one call it quits? i have put so much of my life into this, and am now very far away from the end again. i am literally contemplating my ability to do this process over again - my ability to endure the phases and suffering of this process.

 

i am without words and do not know what to do. it ended, and now i am very sick again - and am armed with the torture of knowing how things should be in the end. please help support.

 

m

 

I haven't stated this in any of my other posts, but I took clonazepam from 1998 until 2005.  I quit in 2005 c/t and was good until 2010.  My life changed drastically, and I put myself back on clonazepam.  It was a HUGE MISTAKE.  I thought I would feel like I did when I first took it in 1998, but I was WRONG.  I never felt good on it the 2nd time, and now I'm in the process of coming off them again.  It's taken a toll on me for the last 2 years.  You will end up in my situation if you go back on them.  Don't do it.   

[[...]]

I'm so sorry to hear about this roller coaster you're on. I'm wondering what your symptoms are, what set them off, and what professional support you have?

 

Someone has posted on this forum about an experimental flumazenil treatment program for benzo withdrawal. She had great success. Worth investigation.

 

The thing about benzos is it's like being on a one way dead-end street. I agree with being wary thinking that re-dosing will relieve your symptoms.