Intrusive, Obsessive and Fearful Thoughts STILL at 14 months off??

[[Zu...]]

Hi Buddies,

I am now 14 months off of a 4-month period of taking Ativan .5 mg almost daily.  I tapered over a very short period of time (a few weeks).  At 14 months off now, I am still having pretty terrible intrusive, fearful thoughts.  They are not as bad as they were at the very beginning, but I still feel so much anxiety, fear, and irrational thinking.  OCD-like thinking, too.

 

The psychological symptoms have been the worst part of this for me, hands down.  Anyone else in this boat this far off?

 

Thanks!  Take care, everyone. 

[[...]]

So sorry Zugora! Intrusive thoughts + rage are my worst symptoms now at about 6 months off.  I am so afraid of myself I truly hope this goes away for both of us soon.  I can't bear to think about having it for 14 months...You're one brave person putting up with it for so long!

 

When you say they are not as bad as in the beginning?  Are they not as intense? Or less frequent? Sorry for the many questions but this is my worse symptom too

 

Are you completely off your antidepressant?  Is it possible that it may be preventing you from healing completely?

[[Zu...]]

Hi mmir,

Yes, I'm completely off the AD.  Have been completely off the AD since about October (after slowly weening off).  Yes, perhaps, the AD prevented the intrusive thoughts from healing more quickly.  Or perhaps the mental, intrusive thoughts have been especially bad for since I am currently dealing with thyroid issues (anxiety and depression also being a symptom of thyroid issues).  Who knows.

 

In the very beginning, my brain felt like it was all jumbled up.  Couldn't think straight.  Gosh, it felt like I could barely tie my shoes!  Slowly, over time it has gotten better.  Very slowly.  Some days are worse than others.  I find that any stressor, really sets off the intrusive thought process.  Distractions help.  I am finding that my brain wanders less into those dark, scary thoughts now.  But, I still am getting them along with feeling very foggy and spaced out.  But, who knows, brain-fog is also a symptom of thyroid disease.   

[[...]]

So sorry Zugora! It must be hard to distinguish thyroid issues from w/d, but I've read that some people on w/d develop thyroid issues due to the w/d itself...did you have it before meds?

 

My mind is kind of jumbled up too I'm slow at thinking but not as bad as a few months ago.  I also find that overstimulation or stress sets off the intrusive thoughts and other symptoms as well such as racing thoughts and even the brain fog. Are you working through this? I can't.  I mean just going to a store today for 5 minutes was WAY too overstimulating for me and I used to loooove to shop and would spend hours at the mall

[[Pe...]]

Zugora,

 

I am just coming out of a pretty bad wave and this was one of my biggest complaints...funny, we were both on Ativan and are both at about the same time frame.  I have to agree, the mental stuff is worse than the physical (and I have had my share of physical too...believe me).  I admit I was pretty shocked at how intense the fear response was this far out during this last wave.

 

The OCD thinking always seem to accompany it for me as well.  I stopped ADs a year before the benzos...so I am pretty positive mine is BW as I never had anything like this before detox.

 

Mine has improved as well over time, but intensified again during this last wave.  Now it is on the decline again.  I do not think any of these things will be permanent.  This one is extremely hard to describe to anyone outside of this forum- just letting you know you are not alone with this one.

[[Zu...]]

Thanks, Perserverance.  It's hard to tease out which sxs are still benzo-related and which sxs are from my thyroid disorder.  All I know is that I never felt this messed up in my head before the benzo. 

 

I agree, nobody knows what this feels like unless you have gone through it.  Hang in there.  Keep strong! 

[[...]]

Hi Zugora -

 

Former lorazepam user and dealing with similar issues, although these symptoms have lessened somewhat for me of late.  Like you, I tapered somewhat quickly; a while back, I read an article that mentioned something about the combination of Ativan/Lorazepam and a quick taper or c/t can cause these kinds of symptoms to be stronger and last longer for some people (maybe we are the lucky ones ).  If I can find that information, I'll post it. 

 

I hope things are better for you lately.

 

Rico

[[Zu...]]

Thanks, Rico.  I appreciate you chiming in.  I hate that others are going through this, but yet, it's comforting to hear from all of you.  I know we all feel less alone with this group.  Yes, I have heard that, too...that a fast taper *might* make the the sxs last longer.