New Member

[[fe...]]

Hello to all, First, let me tell you all that I'm attempting to withdraw secondly from a prolonged prescription to Xanax 2mg, Klonopin 2mg and Ambien 10 mg, nightly-all initially prescribed for sleep since 2006.  My situation started for situational insomnia.  I am a certified registered nurse anesthetist and patients trust me each day to handle their lives with such astute and accurate care and bring them safely to unconsciousness and back in a timely manner for their surgical procedures.  The irony of it all is how I "sleep" people for a living yet am unable to get to sleep myself without the use of benzos and ambien. 

 

I have successfully weaned myself off of the Xanax for the past few months, probably mitigating some the withdrawal symptoms due to simultaneous Klonopin ingestion, and Ambien.  I have now started tapering my Klonopin-1 week out and Im at 1.5 mg.  I will ask my p-doc for a prescription to have my Klonopin compounded for easier titration.  My only concern is this.  Would you want your anesthesia provider putting you to sleep with lack of sleep?  I need to be rested in order to successfully perform a safe anesthetic.  This troubles me as I have to wean and work to support myself and my family.  Unmentionably, the innate strenuous and high-pressure job of working in anesthesia is enough.  Any thoughts, recommendations are surely welcomed.  Oh, and all the while I am completing my PhD this year.  Is this a great time to wean or what?   

 

Thanks to all,

 

Feelingsleepyyet  :yippee:

 

[[ma...]]

 

Hello Feelingsleepyyet

Welcome to benzobuddies Have a look around others will be along shortly to welcome you

You will get a lot of support here If you have any questions let us know

 

If you wish to add a signature: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=9432.0

 

Take care

Magrita

[[fe...]]

I have a question for many of you veterans  , did most of you continue to work while tapering. 

 

Regards,

 

TC

[[pi...]]

Hello Feelingsleepyyet,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies, we are so happy you have found us.

 

You sound like a remarakably intelligent and caring person who is very concerned about the patients you are working with.  You do indeed have a very important job and need to be mentally and physically at top form. It would seem that the best thing would be to do a very very slow taper.  I have had several surgeries in my lifetime and the person that I spent the most time interviewing was the anesthesiologist because I felt they had the most impact on the procedure.

 

I would not attempt to tell you what you should do, you sound like you are in the process of making this decision yourself. My job allows me time off when I feel like it and no one is at risk if I teach when I am not well. It is hard with the pressures of providing for your family as well. This process can be tough at times and everyone heals differently and at different paces.  Are you having any withdrawal symptoms at this time?

 

Try reading the Insomnia Boards, buddies there might have some ideas on sleep for you. Here is a link to that board: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=83.0

 

We're here for you anytime you need help or encouragement.

 

pianogirl

[[fe...]]

Thank you so much for you quick reply, Pianogirl.  Absolutely, my job is one that mandates astuteness and extreme vigilance-daily.  Working as a nurse anesthetist over the course of 9 years, I am chronically exposed to a plethora of wonderfully acting medications-versed, fentanyl, morphine, dilaudid, etc.  Statistically according to my professional associations studies, the addiction rate of anesthesia providers to these agents is roughly 20%.  I sit in silence, here.  I am an innocent addict to benzos prescribed to me nearly 6 years ago.  I have a complete and unequivocal aversion to needles so I am elated to describe that I've never been tempted in the lease to IV medications.  I will attempt a very slow and insidious taper incorporating the help of my p-doc and perhaps, requesting a compounded prescription of Clonazepam and Ambien.  But one at at time, I feel it would be most prudent to first wean off the Clonazepam then, thereafter, initiate my slow Ambien titration.  In terms of withdrawal symptoms, from 2 mg to 1.5 mg of Clonazepam in 2 weeks, I have some GI distress and seemingly getting sleep.  Thanks for your reply and I am so fortunate to have found this forum.  I look to learn a plenitude from all of you!!!

 

Warmest,

 

feelingsleepyyet

[[Mi...]]

Hi FSY,

 

Welcome to the club none of us wanted to be members of.  I know that violates the rule of never ending a sentence with a preposition, but I am lucky to be able to compose a sentence right now!  I understand your dilemma of being in a highly responsible position with lives in your hands while trying to work your way off benzos.  It isn't exactly the same scenario but I am an RN with background in critical care so I understand your situation.  Fortunately I have not had to work whilst going through my own benzo withdrawal, but I do understand the necessity for your continued employment.  You seem to be ahead of the game as it sounds like you are benzo wise and know that a slow and steady taper is the way to go.  Congratulations on successfully getting off the Xanax which as you know is one of the harder benzos to taper.  You are doing well if GI distress and some insomnia are your only symptoms so far.  You have a good plan in place to come off the other two drugs.  I wish you good luck in your journey towards freedom.  You are not alone.  Keep us posted on your progress.

 

MiniMinnie

[[fe...]]

Thanks MiniMinnie,

 

Critical Care nursing is expertise in and of itself, alone.  I worked in CVICU before returning to CRNA school.  Ironically enough, my tantalization with benzos began in graduate school, pulling all-nighters and delving into the depths of advanced physiology and anesthesia pharmacology.  I allowed it to continue on well into my work career, until now, all the while, in my dissertation phase of my PhD in nursing.  I often question myself.  Is this a good time to start the final stretch of weaning myself off all benzos?  I still have a successful defense to compose this summer.  Argh!!  :pokey:   I have an appointment with my pDoc to have, possibly, me crossover to Valium as I feel I am stable at 1.5 mg Klonopin.  Time will tell.  I am additionally on Ambien 10 mg q hs but one poison at a time, right?  Thanks for all of your support and I will definitely keep you abreast at my progression.  Oh, and hey, you compose good sentences :) 

 

FSY  ;D ;D

 

[Guest [de...]]

FSY

 

I am a Pathologist going through a taper and I have a total understanding of your predicament. I have to use a microscope to evaluate whether or not a patient has a malignancy or other diseases. I understand this obligation.  Assunimg that you are an American, every two years you must reapply for you RN license vouching that you do not have any medical conditions that prevent you from safely discharging your duties. The place to get that answer is not on a message board full of lay people (sorry if that sounds elitist). You have to work exclusively with your pdoc or shrink to get proper advice on your your patient care responsibilities. If they feel you are OK then you have your butt covered and probably can trust you professional skills. Confine this info to your docs and no-one else. Take any opinions here with a grain of salt. You should know better that to ask a lay message board. Obviously you are feeling some guilt and insecurity. But this is not the place to disceuss it.

[[fe...]]

Deerslayer,

 

I know precisely where you're coming from.  You can sense the guilt and insecurity associated with my tapering.  And recertification has never been an issue.  I am fully disclosed to my pDoc and my psychiatrist.  Again, as I begin to taper on Clonazepam, such irony is so prevalent when I continually administer Midazolam IV preoperatively to patients each day which possesses an equipotency of almost 2x that of Xanax or Klonopin.  Thanks for you insight.  By the way, I'd like to email you, if that would be ok?

 

Thanks,

 

FSY

 

[Guest [de...]]

Of course you can PM me.

 

This board is a great resource for withdrawal support, ideas about tapering/substitutions, comparing notes on symptoms, and general " I feel your pain support ".

 

 

But this medical stuff you have to keep in the family. Nobody not in the medical field understands what its like being called in at 2:am for an emergent CABG when you haven't slept in 2 days and are experience other withdrawals. They also don't understand the fentanyl and Diprivan laying in the room ( I hope this is not even a temptation for you ). As far as your professional responsibilities, work with your psych and/or pdoc, preferably your psych if you trust him. This stuff is no one else's business. 

[Guest [...]]

I just typed the biggest response to this and lost it which is just as well.

 

I first of all want to welcome you to the board.  You should feel free to discuss whatever you want.  I dont in this instance agree with deerslayer which is ok.  I feel that this is a safe place and i pay a shrink 300 bucks an hour and he is useless however my support on here is priceless.  I understand you are in more of a pickle than a lot of us as in you have a very high stress job and you have to work.  There is no way i can work at the moment so good on you for still doing it.  Just want to welcome you and wish you the best of luck.

 

Lizzy

[[fe...]]

DS, fentanyl and propofol have never even winked an evil eye toward me.  I have seen, first hand, and recently, in the media, what evil tragedies these agents can surmount.  And definitely, keeping it in the family.  Sheesh....of note, I'm on call this weekend.  See you on the PM side...

 

FSY

[[Re...]]

Welcome to this journey!

 

Thank you for your candidness in finding yourself in this predicament as a health care provider. I too am a RN and no longer do in patient hospital work. I work in an outpt setting and have been able to do alot of education in my clinic regarding benzos. Prescriptions are written like candy and while triaging, I have been able identify patients that are in acute withdrawal after asking questions exploring their supposed prn benzo med list. It is a travesty and I am tapering presently and very well read about benzo withdrawal ( maybe too much so  I have a tendency to overanalyze situations and wish i didn't know so much). Congrats on getiing off of one benzo. Now 2 to tackle and I hear that you want to do it as safely as possible without compromise to yourself , your family and the patients that you treat. I feel your compassion and dedication to your profession. You are a co-worker that I would like to have by my side.

 

That said , it might be easier to try to get off the ambien first  ( you could possibly crossover your dose to valium or the klonopin equivalent and either try a direct taper from Klonopin or crossover to valium). I tried initially dropping klonopin and it was a no go for me but on this site there are many people that have found success in doing so. I chose to crossover to valium as it has a much longer half life and I am tapering very slowly ( even slower than the ashton protocol).

 

You will need to find out what works out best for you but you have good intentions and I wish the very best to you. Keep me posted on your progress and I will likewise do the same.

 

Take good care!

 

Recover

 

 

[[fe...]]

Recover, thank you for the support. I'm amazed and at the same time silently embarrassed as I preop patients for surgery, the quantities of benzos they're prescribed. I am truly empathetic and educate them to eradicate albeit slowly from this poison, all the whiles, I am in my own innocent addiction.

 

I feel that a crossover to V might be a prudent medical necessity for me at this point. I've reduced my K from 2 mg to 1.5 mg and am still to work, sleep seemingly and manage to go to the gym. I've cutout that occasional glass of wine and as a vegan, I adhere already to a healthy diet. I have a supportive partner and a loving Airedale. I am loved. I look forward to continued support and progressive encouragement from people like you. This won't be easy but tolerable. And as an aside, how do you deal with pediatric ENT day in your work while tapering? This is where you heavily rely on the skills and techniques of a hallmark anesthetist in returning kiddos quiet and pain free.

 

Best,

 

FSY

[[Mi...]]

FSY,

 

Feel free to discuss anything you want  to on this board.  This is a place you can come and feel supported and encouraged.  It is not the place of other members to chide you or make you feel guilty or in any way question how you meet your professional responsibilities.  We "lay" people know that the comments and suggestions we make are just that - suggestions based on our own experiences and observations, which you are free to follow or not.  Heck, you can even discuss your medical stuff if it helps.  I will listen and I'm not a doctor but I'm no stun.  There is no rule that you have to keep anything "in the family" whatever that means.  So get comfortable, make yourself at home and let us know how we can help you.  You are among friends.

 

MiniMinnie

[[Re...]]

FSY

I work in an out patient clinical setting. I have worked in Pediatrics for years and mainly do triage and any procedures than require RN competency. I recently crosstraining to adults and mainly triage so I do alot of teaching. I work per diem so  mostly part time and some weeks mpore full time. All based on need. This is extremely helpful especially if symptoms are tough. Plus I have an active homelife so I stay busy. Even in my younger years I was never suited for 12 hours or rotating shifts. I learned that early that they were not compatible for me.

 

Take care!

 

Recover

[[Ho...]]

These members are absolutely right. This is a forum to discuss your taper as well as any concerns you have. I don't think anyone can answer some of the questions you pose regarding what you should do regarding your work but we can still support you through your taper.

 

Please feel free to post whatever you need to. We're here to support you and hopefully make this journey a little easier.

[[pi...]]

Hello again fsy,

 

I am glad you have been able to connect with others here on the forum. I know this place has been a lifeline for me.  Not everyone will have difficulty with withdrawal but for some of us unfortunately that is not the case. I have had the pleasure of meeting some of most intelligent, highly educated and successful people here who through no fault of their own find themselves in a difficult and painful place.

 

I have a really supportive and loving husband, I am glad you have a supportive partner as well. My husband is very sensitive and "feels" my pain so one of the great things about Benzo Buddies is that I can come here and talk about the minutiae of withdrawal to those that have the same symptoms. I never thought I would open up about so many issues, but it feels good.

 

I hope your taper and withdrawal go smoothly but know you can come here and get support and encouragement from us.

 

pianogirl