Two years out after ct detox

[[Co...]]

Hi BenzoBuddies...I am just over two years out from detox...my poor brain and body...I came off 4 different drugs ct at once it has been pretty challenging and painful, all high doses of potent drugs that I was physically and psychologically dependent on. But Im here...and Im optimistic...this two year mark has been so different than the other milestones...I was so discouraged at 18 months off...pretty inconsolable and my buddies were worried. I am one who doesn't get windows...I just have sx sort of lessen and fall away...that's hard because we always hear windows are a sign of healing...am I celebratingyes yes, yes, Im so happy and grateful that Im alive and feeling positive. To anyone struggling and feeling hopeless, please hold on and believe in the process and your own courage and ability to persevere. Im so full of gratitude and love for all of you and especially my friends...Believe, Billy, Chris, Ginia, KcLee, Laura, Leena, Jenny, Pammy, Indigo, Mishi, Twell, Tracy, Whoopsie, Tamzo, Jennn, Cherry Blossum, Sally, Val, Lily, Imalso grateful to Tropical Soul who welcomed me as a new member, WonderWoman, Vertigo. Thankyou to Colin and all the mods who volunteer their time to help others. This community is about the best group of people there could ever be. Im so humbled by the kindness you have all shown me. Love you all, Thanks for listening, Colleen

[[Ga...]]

Congratulations Colleen I wish you continued healing. 

[[Ja...]]

Thanks for posting this. I can relate alot to your story. I was also on a number of meds and pulled off all of them in a detox faciliaty. I also have not had any windows during this whole process. Just like you symptoms slowly fade away.My first year off Benzo was a struggle to get through every minute of the day. It was so intense. At 18 months i was still in pretty severe WD. now at 21 months things seam to be changing a little. I really hope so. I read about alot of people that are in severe withdrawal. Turn a corner at 21 months & another corner at 2 years. I really hope this is the case for me. Could you explain a little more on what you mean when you say that your 2 year milestone is different. Do you feel like you finally are turning a corner? btw, congrats on the 2 years benzo free. That is a huge deal. A miracle in itself. take care                  -Jacob

[[li...]]

Congratulations Colleen on 2 years. Remarkably strong person you are.  Thanks!!!  Love Linder xo

[[...]]

http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/c/congratulations/graphics-congratulations-179047.gif

[[Ma...]]

Congratulations Colleen 

 

Marry 

[[Li...]]

 

 

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/Lilyagain/BB%20Animals/Peekingkitten-2.jpg

 

Oh Colleen,

 

I am thrilled that you can say you are Celebrating and that you are happy and feeling positive.  I hope that those feelings grow with everyday as the symptoms melt away for you! 

 

Thank you for writing a post for us!  Since you don't have a blog I so often wonder how you are doing and don't have a place to check.... although I have a blog and it is not a place to see how I am!  LOL!  So, this is just really great to hear that you are coming along and doing better! 

 

Wishing you to have great amounts of healing come to you soon this Spring. 

 

Blessings upon you!

 

Love,

Lily

[[Bi...]]

Congrats Colleen.

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Billy.

[[pa...]]

Congratulations to you!!!  Patty :yippee:

[[ja...]]

Colleen..

 

Yay .I am so happy for you! Wow you have the best attitude ever.You always have .Even in your suffering. Its only going to get better Colleen!!! Keep moving foward ..  I saw you mentioned me. Thats so nice.I was like Yay.. Thanks ...lol

 

~Jenny

[[gi...]]

Congratulations Dear Friend !!!!  Your a inspiration to many !

 

xoxxo    Gin

[[Bi...]]

<center><a href="http://www.commenthaven.com/glitter-text-generator/" title="glitter text generator"><img src="http://www.commenthaven.com/glitter-text-generator/vw/50/z4f6ad7090eac0.gif" alt="glitter text generator" width="214" height="67" border="0" /></a><br></center>

 

[Guest [...]]

hey Colleen

 

that is great news congratulations

 

all the best for your future

 

 

Lizzy

[[Co...]]

Hi Buddies, Thankyou all so much for congratulating me and taking the time to write and help me celebrate. To be honest I was really nervous to post...lol still shy even after being on the forum for over a year. I never really have been all that adept at expressing my feelings...no disrespect to my mom but she often told me I was cold just like my dad...I thought well if you think Im cold Ill show you cold...so I shut down. You know in wd we have those thoughts and regrets and we rehash stuff and wish we had done things differently? I did that a lot and vowed I would try to trust more and be authentic...so Im trying to do that here so please bear with me if Im too sappy and sentimental. It just really means the world to me when people write...it seems small to some but wd has taught me to appreciate the little things...lol like nutella which I love and think everybody should eat it daily. The truth is being part of BenzoBuddies is a big thing because you make me feel like I matter. I never really have cried much over my wd but when a buddy writes and is kind Im truly overcome with emotion. I am not nor ever have been a cold person. I feel things so deeply. But my mom will probably never know how much I feel...there is still a wall there. Anyway...I hope I dont regret posting this...if I do Ill just have to work through it.

[[Co...]]

Hi Gardenia, Thankyou for writing...so nice of you...I see you are ct too. How r u doing? Do you have a blog? I will look. If you ever have a question or want to just vent I hope you will pm me. Ct can be rough so I would try to support you anyway I can. All my best Colleen

 

Hi Jacob, Thankyou for writing...it sounds like you have been thru a lot. What happened to us just should not happen it is inhumane and I wish it would stop. Congrats on 21 months off. This milestone is different because I did not feel let down like I did at 1 yr and 18 months. !8 months was difficult because its official protracted. I do feel like Im turning a corner...I have a sx that nearly has made me insane...its a false sense Of movement in my mouth involving my teeth and roof of my mouth...started in detox as twirling teeth and got worse after...its been constant 24/7 since detox. Its weird and made eating and speaking difficult..recently it has stopped several times a day for several minutes at a time...Im so happy about this...also till recently I vibrated from head to toe every day and thats letting up too. I hope this encourages you in some small way. Take care. 

[[Co...]]

Hi Linder, Oh my gosh...I forgot to put your name down. I have been so in awe of how you have managed to do so much in wd...from cooking to exercise. I think you are so strong and I really admire you. Thankyou for writing me and your kind comments. How r u doing? I heard you were out of town. I hope you and your hubby are enjoying being out of the cold. You take care. Love, Colleen

 

Hi mmgc, I so appreciate you congratulating me. I see you are tapering klon...How r u doing? Ive heard klon can be tough but Im hoping things are going smoothly for you. Take care.

 

Hi Marry, Thanks so much for writing me...I know things have been rough for you. You r about 6 months off right? I hope soon you will be feeling better. I miss you...wish chat was back. Take care. Love, Colleen

 

 

[[Co...]]

Hi Lily, Thankyou so much for your kind reply. Love the kitty pic...I love cats but my dogs do not lol. You probably dont know how much I care about you...You welcomed me my first night on BenzoBuddies, and Ive always appreciated it so much...you made me feel like I mattered...I was so lost and frightened. That night is when I finally felt like I belonged. You are so gentle and gracious. I know you dont like talking about yourself either...just want you to know Im here for you if you think I could help in some small way. Much, much love, Colleen

 

Billy...gosh what to say to you...it is the people I care about the most that I have difficulty posting to. From the time I read your blog I knew you were someone rare and extraordinary. I respect and love you so much. I know you are going to be fine and go on to an amazing life. Colleen

 

Hi Pattylu...thanks for writing...what an angel on earth you are. Supporting Ron thru his nightmare...supporting other carers...and supporting the buddies. Amazing...cant be easy and you must be worn out. Please take care of you and take time for yourself. Love, Colleen

 

Jenny...what a strong woman you are...you have a gift for inspiring. Your blog is a true legacy of love. Thankyou for being here. I appreciate you more than I can express. Love, Colleen

[[Co...]]

Hi Gin...Thankyou so much...I love you and feel grateful to have you as friend. You even shared Kelly with me and I appreciate that...lol youve even shared super secret beauty tips and amazing diets...now thats a true friend. I love that you tell it like it is and you never judge anyone. Thats rare. You are always encouraging and just seem to always go

with the flow.

 

Hi Lizzy, Thanks so much for celebrating with me. I know that you have a lot of worry that what you r suffering is permanent and caused by other meds you were on. Please try not to worry about that...that is itself a wd sx. Please give your brain time to heal. The brain is miraculous. I bet you see lots of improvements in the near future. 

[[Re...]]

Colleeny,

 

I am so proud of you for posting this. I know what it took you to do this. I wanted to put up one of those fun

pictures but I just can't seem to get it right.

 

Just like Lily said I feel like I have a place to find you.

 

What a true inspiration you are. I hope people reading this will read all of your posts and learn how amazing

you are and what you have been thru. You know I am so inspired by you.

 

You take much more time helping others than I think you do for yourself.

 

You know how much I love you. And unicorns and rainbows and ponies

 

Love you,

Pammy

[[Wh...]]

Colleeny,

 

I am so proud of you for posting this. I know what it took you to do this. I wanted to put up one of those fun

pictures but I just can't seem to get it right.

 

Just like Lily said I feel like I have a place to find you.

 

What a true inspiration you are. I hope people reading this will read all of your posts and learn how amazing

you are and what you have been thru. You know I am so inspired by you.

 

You take much more time helping others than I think you do for yourself.

 

You know how much I love you. And unicorns and rainbows and ponies

 

Love you,

Pammy

 

Ya, what Pammy said.  I'm sorry I've got the flu bug from hell and can't talk but wanted to let you know my good wishes and congrats on your progress.

[[he...]]

Congrats sis on 2 years off and for starting a blog , I am proud of you and I know personally of your struggles you endure day after day ,I know you are gng to be a great success story that is gng to keep encourging alot of us especially the ones after us that if you can do it then anyone can. Keep gng sweetie , I am right behind you .

 

Love always

Laura :smitten:

[[St...]]

Hi Colleen,

 

I'm so happy for you "yeah" 2 years free!!! Wow that is wonderful.  But to have written about it, now for those of us that love and know you - we all realize that took a lot for you to do.  I'm so proud of you opening up as you did.  You are in a safe accepting place for your words. This can be a new beginning to you, I hope it continues and you find healing.

 

I am so thankful for you reaching out to me Jan 15th 2012.  You made a difference to me, I didn't know how important that post would be to me. It grew to my hearing your voice on the other end of the phone. That land line has been a call of friendship, support, laughter, tears, bs passing the time, sos getting a handle on w/d, to so many other things.  Thank you for being there, and remember the phone rings both ways.

 

You are a sweet heart Colleen. You are there for so many people, just remember seek out for yourself also, we are here for you too.  You don't always have to be strong.  You deserve hugs and words of encouragement too. So here's some 

 

I hope this 2 year mark is a true turning point for you. I hope you find relief soon Colleen, I so want that for you.

 

love 

Sally

[[Kl...]]

Dear Colleen,

 

Your story is one of courage and perseverance.  I honor you on this second year of your recovery.  Many Hugs, Klonkers

[Guest [...]]

Thanks Colleen for your kind and much needed words.

 

Hey do you have a link for your blog im sure i read you had one.  If its possible that would be great would love to read it.

 

 

Lizzy

[[KR...]]

Way to go Colleen.  Going to a Detox Center is a hard thing to overcome. You have beat the odds.  Not many people can walk your walk and see it through as far as you have. You have endured more than most people I've seen. You are in the top 1% of people that can come off the amount of drugs that you did, the way that you did, and make it. Most people would breakdown and give up early on with the amount of pain and suffering that you endured.  That speaks volume when it comes to your character and conviction to see this through till the end. So happy  to see your 2 years out from the day your life got turned upside down.  You and your story have always inspired me with your inner strength and will to survive. Your one tuff girl that's for dam sure. 

 

Rock