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Feeling pretty ill tonight.... =( Some reassurance AGAIN please. So sorry.


[cn...]

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Okay, so tonight after work, I came home to stay home with the kiddos while my wife went to visit her mom in the hospital.

 

At first it was fun, we played the wii, colored etc.

 

Then my left shoulder started feeling super achy again...  and it just got my mind a racing... and i can't explain this feeling... I've exlained it many many times in about 3 different posts. I'm sorry to keep talking about it.

 

My benzo brain is just trying to get me all anxious about it and wants me to catastrophize it.

 

It's telling me something is really wrong with my left back... and that it's THE WORST possible scenerio like CANCER.  WTF!!???

 

I know it has to either be benzo w/d... or just underlying tension that I'm not aware of whats causing it.

 

The reason I think it's all muscle related or nerve related is b/c after this sensation my lower back became stiff and sore... then my neck is so stiff...

 

and now my chest/sternum area has pains in it... like in the deep tissue. I know everything is connected...

 

This just sucks.

 

 

ANSWER ME THIS... PLEASE...

 

I used a massager on it tonight, and when I put friction on the skin of my left back... I get brief relief from it... then it returns.

 

So, to tell my stupid benzo worrying brain to shut up... If there was something like cancer or a tumor, a massager wouldn't make it temporarily feel better right?

 

Thanks guys! =)

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I can relate. It is just so hard being this sick. We are hyper alert, our brains are in overdrive. Any ache or pain can send our thoughts racing to the worst case scenario which in turn seems to break us down even more, instantly. At the first sign of the pain try to stop the thought process from snowballing...picture a big stop sign, or a color, or a yellow ball, a flower etc... tell yourself your are not going down that road. Try hard to relax those muscles and when you think they feel relaxed...take a deep breath and relax them even more, really concentrate.
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cnotr, I drink tension tamer tea, yogi bedtime tea and sleepytime extra tea. This is what helps me. I use sports creme ointment on my muscle pain. I take tylenol arthritis 625mg every 8 hours. I use a heating pad on my back.

Best,

Bear  :)

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cnotr,

 

I've had the same thing, pain in my left side of back between the shoulder blade and spine that emanates to the front left side and tickle-burns the left top of the traverse colon (from a sympathetic nerve). Along with left sided shoulder pain and chest pains, stings and general burning that dose not seem like acid re-flux(I've never had acid re-flux before). I went to the ER three times within a month and had , EKG's all three times, chest x-ray's, and MRI for clots and any other abnormalities. Also I had an overnight stay in my own room with a camera on me and remote monitored heart monitor.

 

Nothing, not a thing was wrong with me, they did say my blood pressure was up and that I had a mild heart palpitation(which I didn't have a week before). I think they let me spend the night because I think they thought I was a psych case. At the time I didn't know I was having withdrawals from quitting Valium, they didn't either.

 

It's these damn benzo's, they are insidiously sneaky and will trick even the best and strongest of souls into becoming a hypochondriac and make you believe your dying.

 

Try not to worry about it, you don't have cancer and your not having a heart attack. It's all your muscles contracting and the sympathetic nervous system that is temporarily dysfunctional during these withdrawals.

 

You'll be alright!  :thumbsup:

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Thank you ALL!!! Its confusing bc I have had more windows in this whole process. Vs waves.  Thank Jesus! So its confusing to be good for a whole month then this.  Im gonna keep reading your replies.  Im actually fixing to take a hot bath, I think your right about it possibly being a pinched nerve in my left shoulder blade.  Bc in the shower lastnight it felt almost numbish or tingling when water was hitting it. Hate it. Can't even explain it.  Lol. But im doing good now thanks to you guys!  :)
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Thank you ALL!!! Its confusing bc I have had more windows in this whole process. Vs waves.  Thank Jesus! So its confusing to be good for a whole month then this.  Im gonna keep reading your replies.  Im actually fixing to take a hot bath, I think your right about it possibly being a pinched nerve in my left shoulder blade.  Bc in the shower lastnight it felt almost numbish or tingling when water was hitting it. Hate it. Can't even explain it.  Lol. But im doing good now thanks to you guys!  :)

 

Oh Yeahhhh!!! I know exactly what your talking about, numb pain that has a core to it and about a 6 inch radius or so on the left side of the back next to and almost under the shoulder blade. It's a killer!

 

BTW, I love your avatar cause I really like Gene Wilder!

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Holy shnikes!  Yes! It sorta feels like that. But is giving the sensation if achy flu skin.  I love gene too.  Lol
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update: 3-21-12

 

had a hard time falling asleep lastnight. But finally did. Had to wake up early today for a video shoot at a Titanic museum. I felt very uneasy when I first woke up this morning...

 

but then it eased up... and I have noticed today that my left shoulder hasnt been as ACHY. =) AMEN!

 

It's still there a tad... but def. not as bad as yesterday!

 

My lower back is still stiffer than crap... stretching helps temporarily.

 

Is this really all benzo w/d? A lady at my work said "I think it's stress"... b/c I have to admit, sometimes I find it hard to believe that every symptom is benzo w/d.

 

But I showed her the link to the wickipedia benzo w/d page... and she started to say "hmmm yeah... months... even years... hmm."

 

Then she said "It could be a combo of both."

 

I understand stress can do these sorts of things to the body... but I don't feel like I was THAT stressed out last week. Why would it last this long ya know?

 

I have to just believe it's benzo w/d... or really... does it matter? I think the important thing is ... it will pass eventually. =)

 

Is it normal for you to be physically fine for a long while, then BAM muscle stiffness etc.?

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Hey Cnotr - What about a buncha long baths with Epsom salts?  I have no idea what the pain is like, so that may sound like a silly idea. But I am always surprised how much it can help muscle aches.  Cheap, too.  :)

 

 

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Holy shnikes!  Yes! It sorta feels like that. But is giving the sensation if achy flu skin.  I love gene too.  Lol

 

I also have the flu-like skin sensations of hot and dry skin on the back in other places like my face cheeks, forearms and ankles and thighs. I also get fever chills, it was worse earlier on, that seems to be one thing that is better less chills and malaise feelings.

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Hi cnotr,

I get a stiff shoulder sometimes. I always have. I think I get it from poor posture sitting at a desk. I can't say that it's benzowithdrawal for you, but that could be a contributing factor. Muscle tension is a fact of life though. Most people get it at some point. Have you tried yoga or physical therapy?

 

I've noticed you have a concern about cancer. Is cancer something that runs in your family? As someone who has seen many family members have various forms of cancer, from lymphoma to colon, to pancreatic, I can say that shoulder pain has never been a symptom. I would say it is VERY unlikely that this would be your first symptom of cancer. Cancer is one thing that doctors are very successful at diagnosing.

 

Prior to my benzo nightmare I'd never had health anxiety, but afterwards I had trouble shaking that feeling that something was wrong with me. One thing that helped me get through this was to see first hand how resilient the human body is. My mother in law passed away about a year ago. She was in her nineties and despite several serious health problems she held on for a long time. It takes A LOT for your body to give out on you. Life isn't nearly as risky as you might think, particularly while you're in the prime of your life, like you are now. You'll be ok. We all get those aches and pains but if we didn't, we wouldn't be human :).

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update: 3-21-12

 

had a hard time falling asleep lastnight. But finally did. Had to wake up early today for a video shoot at a Titanic museum. I felt very uneasy when I first woke up this morning...

 

but then it eased up... and I have noticed today that my left shoulder hasnt been as ACHY. =) AMEN!

 

It's still there a tad... but def. not as bad as yesterday!

 

My lower back is still stiffer than crap... stretching helps temporarily.

 

Is this really all benzo w/d? A lady at my work said "I think it's stress"... b/c I have to admit, sometimes I find it hard to believe that every symptom is benzo w/d.

 

But I showed her the link to the wickipedia benzo w/d page... and she started to say "hmmm yeah... months... even years... hmm."

 

Then she said "It could be a combo of both."

 

I understand stress can do these sorts of things to the body... but I don't feel like I was THAT stressed out last week. Why would it last this long ya know?

 

I have to just believe it's benzo w/d... or really... does it matter? I think the important thing is ... it will pass eventually. =)

 

Is it normal for you to be physically fine for a long while, then BAM muscle stiffness etc.?

 

cnotr,

 

Don't forget that benzodiazepines are "muscle relaxant", so while a person is taking them, they will benefit from the relaxant effect whether you felt you needed them for that reason or not. I use the term "what goes up must come down" and that's what's happening, we are getting some varied amounts of muscle stiffness and spasms that are also causing other associated symptoms as well.

 

I have recently decided "for now", that if I get a new symptom, then it's gotta be the benzo-rebound effect. :-)

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Funny you mention your left shoulder because I have been having the same problem! The ache is so terrible it has made it really hard to sit at a desk or even hold my Kindle. I feel your pain, really. You aren't alone.
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