Hello Everyone :) Im new on here and am seeking advise and fellowship.

[[le...]]

Hi,  I am on the Ashton Method Taper.

My Doctor has me Tapering .1mg every other day. I am currently on 14 mg's of Diazepam a day.

5 mg in the morning

4 mg in the afternoon

5 mg at night

 

We have stopped the taper for now so i can balance out. i guess it was just a little to fast for me.

He also just recently (1 week ago) put me on 100mg's of Gabapentin 3 times a day as well to help with the effects of withdrawal.

 

Ive been taking Benzo's now for 3 1/2 years and 2 years in i started having inter-dose withdrawals. I decided to do some research on what i was taking and found out the truth about it. I guess I'm one of the suckers that always trusted the doctors opinion and followed it with out question. I have been struggling with this taper for about 1 1/2 years now. back and forth back and forth try this try that. I'm sure some of you have been down that road. It all started with Ativan then that didn't last long enough so my Doctor put me on Clonazepam 2 mg a day for the first 2 years. Then when i decided to get off my Doctor tried tapering me down .25 mg of Clonaz. for 8 months till i got to .5 then i started having really bad withdrawals. Visual and mental stuff. So i bumped back up to 1mg a day. I then thought i would take matters in to my own hands and called around and got ahold of a nurse from somewhere don't quite remember where but she told me i need to go to a hospital to detox from it. So i turned myself in to a local rehab and did the detox for 1 week where they detoxed me from Clonazepam to Librium wich i found out was just another form of benzos! they tried to get me to go to the 20 day rehab thing but my insurance wouldn't cover all the costs anyway. so i left that place free of Clonazepam but now on Librium! AHHHHHHHH! Finally found a specialist who deals with Benzo withdrawal and he was telling me there was no way to taper off Benzo's in 20 days because of the duration i had been on them. So he got me off the Librium and on to the Diazepam pill and liquid titration that i mentioned earlier. Now I'm stuck here at

5 mg morning

4 mg afternoon

5 mg evening of Diazepam

and i just feel like crap everyday and can't take it anymore. I am a Disabled Veteran and have to take care of my wife and 2 children and all the bills and this stupid Benzo BS!

I just wanna be myself again thats all. I wish i could turn back time cause i would have told that Doctor that started this whole thing  FU!!!

All he had to do was say hey i think you should see a therapist and learn some techniques on how to deal with anxiety! Instead of giving me some pill and brushing me along like i didn't even matter.

Is there anyone out there?

Sincerely,

Lexi65 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Lexi65:

 

I understand your anger and frustration.  I'm going to tell you something that I myself am still struggling with.  Try to let go of the anger, I'm not saying that you have to be able to forgive right now, but try to focus all your energy on getting through this, on getting your health back.  All the negative emotions of anger and frustration of being victimized by this is not good for us when we are trying to become free of benzos.

 

You may wish to check out the liquid valium thread.  Lots of information on how you can move forward by making very tiny cuts.

 

Hang in there.

 

mmgc

 

Hang in

[[AK...]]

Lexi65~

 

I am with MMGC~

 

Its not easy to let go but it is needed to get through this mess. we all feel your pain, I am so sorry, for what you are dealing with. Focus as much as you can on health, and follow your body as it directs you in your taper, I have found that is what works best for me....most  of the time I drop every week, but I held for a month this last time between tapers just because I had things going on that I really needed to be as stable as possible. When the taper is done right, it can possibly be less stressful, not that there is not some sort of 'crap' to deal with, but going too fast can cause you to fall backwards possibly. So be careful, and listen to you....

 

Take care~

Kristin

[[pr...]]

Sounds like you found a doc who knows his stuff.  Good for you! That's probably the hardest thing to find. 

 

With your chaotic history, slow and steady is going to be your best bet.  You have a lot of healing to do, and putting yourself into traumatic withdrawal again is the last thing you need.

 

Which is to say, welcome; hang in there, you're doing the right thing; and I'm sorry for everything you're going through.

[[le...]]

Thanks everyone I am trying but as you all know this is a tuffy. I have been steady on 14mg of valium a day along with 300mg of Gabapentin. Its been a month that i have been steady on this dose but i have had the ups and downs staying at this dose. is this normal? my doctor wanted me to stay at this dose until i got some therapy to assists with how i deal with my underlaying anxiety i guess. I feel i need to keep going. I'm afraid I'm am getting used to this dose and don't want to dose up on the Valium. Has anyone tried Gabapentin with the withdrawals? It seems to help but i just don't want to have another pill to tapper from. I am so frusterated! and scared of course. God its funny i am 6'4" 185lbs and feel like such a baby. Why me? I sure you all have asked yourself that one huh? Also I'm not to comp. literate. is this where i keep posting or is there somewhere else i should be posting? Thanks Everyone for helping me not feel so alone.

Lexi65

[[...]]

Hi Lexi65:

 

It may be a good idea to try some therapy and learn coping methods to help you deal with the anxiety.  Withdrawal tends to increase anxiety so it is important to be prepared with as many coping tools as possible.

 

You may wish to start your own blog on The Nexus board in Buddie Blogs.  It's a good way for you to document what you're experiencing and get support and feedback from others.

[[He...]]

Hi Lexi65:

 

I understand your anger and frustration.  I'm going to tell you something that I myself am still struggling with.  Try to let go of the anger, I'm not saying that you have to be able to forgive right now, but try to focus all your energy on getting through this, on getting your health back.  All the negative emotions of anger and frustration of being victimized by this is not good for us when we are trying to become free of benzos.

 

You may wish to check out the liquid valium thread.  Lots of information on how you can move forward by making very tiny cuts.

 

Hang in there.

 

mmgc

 

Hang in

 

That is great advice! 

 

I would like to add that the Ashton taper speed would have been FAR to fast for me, so listen to your body when tapering and adjust as required. I recently cut out 2% every week over 32 weeks, then slammed into a wall and am still dealing with extreme symptoms 5 or 6 weeks later, having held for that length of time. I am only on 1.4mg V now, and hopeful I can resume tapering again soon, but I am going to go even slower than before.

[[ve...]]

Hi Lexi. This section of forum is fine to have a thread for initial withdrawal support. You can also start your own blog in the buddy blog section of forum for longer term support.

 

It sounds like you have made it through a few benzo battles and have been lucky to find a doctor who is more knowledgeable. My father takes gabapentin and a low dose of ativan but it's mostly for spinal pain and to help a little with sleep. Do you have some injuries for which the Gabapentin might be useful? You mentioned you were a disabled veteren. Perhaps, the neurontin will be helpful for that. I have also heard of neurontin being prescribed for those tapering a benzo rapidly as in detox, to help prevent a seizure.

 

You also sound like you might be slighlty depressed, which is not uncommon with valium. I wonder if you doctor might wish to talk with you about an antidepressant. Another option for pain and mood might be something like elavil.  Others seem to make it fine without an a/d.  I avoided them despite some periods of blues during my taper and afterward.

 

Anyway, regarding your taper. Four weeks is more than enough time to stabilize on a dose, many find 2-3 weeks is about right. You can start getting into tolerance if you wait much longer than 4 weeks between cuts. No matter how much you stabilize, lowering the dose of valium will likely bring on temporary periods of increased anxiety and possibly other side effects. It is not pleasant but tolerable.  If you are titrating every other day, the cuts may still catch up with you every few weeks and require holding to stabilize for a period.

 

I agree with the others that it can be helpful to pursue those coping skills that you wish your first doctors had recommended for you. Do you have any PTSD from your years in the service? Two approaches have been found to be helpful, MBCT (Mindfulness based cognitive therapy and ACT therapy). Both emphasize learning some basic mindfulness skills to help defuse anxious feeling and thoughts and tyr to bring a calmer perspective to your experiences. You can also try to find a therapist who has some background with mindfulness, if possible. Or there are some good books available on the subject.

 

I also agree with the others that the best thing is to go slow and steady, rather than rushing off. Many have a tendency to want to rapidly taper off and then deal with a greater shock to the nervous system that sometimes leads to a longer recovery period. So listen to your body between cuts and hold for up to about three weeks.

 

Best wishes and thank you for your service ,

 

Vertigo