Please - I need encouragement about the DR/fog

[[pa...]]

Hi Guys,

 

I'm 5 1/2 months off and SO much better. I want to say that first for the people who are still tapering or just jumped and feel really lousy.  I dont' want you to think it has gotten worse.  My worst time by far was months 3 and 4. 

 

But as I've improved, I'm less patient. Or maybe I'm just tired from doing this for so long. I need some reassurance.

 

The mild d/r and fog that I have has continued to improve and it did lift one time about 2 weeks ago. But living in this fog and getting closer and closer but not breaking through is making me feel so frustrated, sad, and discouraged.

 

I dont' know whether to think I"ve come so far in 2 months that it may be only a short time with this fog - OR -that it's going to be another year at this level.  Soemtimes I feel so close and yet I'm not there. And sometimes I feel confident it will only be a little longer whereas other times I feel like I have no idea. Right now is one of those times.

 

I am keenly now aware of hte things i want to be doing in my life and how I'm missing so many of them because of the fog.  It's got me so sad and I have nobody to really talk to about it but my mom, dad, and husband, but I've already talked them to death I feel.

 

Please - can anyone tell me it might pass soon?  I don't know what to think.

 

I love you all - thank you.

Parker

 

 

[[On...]]

Hi Parker,

 

It will pass, just think about how far you have come in the last few months. Like all things that improve, they do so over the long haul. If we were to put our withdrawals on a "graph" we would see the "sawtooth" up and down, peaks and drops, but always going upward and eventually back to full health when viewed over the months rather that the days. This will go on until we recover fully and the "drops" caused by these benzo's will no longer be on our personal health "graphs".

 

I hope my analogy will help some, it is the best way I can look at this for myself.

 

Just remember your going to improve and fully return to health regardless of how you feel right at the present time.

[[pa...]]

Thank you, OTM. I know you are so right. I think I am just in the mentally agitated zone. I am now TIRED of sitting at home. I am bored. I feel, in some ways, that this is all progress, but since I am still stuck in the mild fog, I don't trust myself to take a toddler and a kindergartner with me and try to manage somewhere.  And it makes me so discouraged.

 

You'd have to have known me before. I was a dynamic mom and person. I was an athlete. I ran a community organization.  I love to do things and have many hobbies. Right now, I'm just "on hold" until my brain function comes back. And now, I think I'm getting bored of this.  And that is frustrating me. 

 

I think the closer I get to having the fog really lift, the more ancy I am about having it GO.  It's probably all a part of healing, but this phase feels SO close, but not quite. And I am a mover and a shaker - and not very good at being patient.  So I just feel really ready.  And it's so hard to wait. I wish I could know when it was going to be over and I'd just relax knowing the end date. But not knowing and just being here at home and feeling not functional is hard.

 

I am sorry to complain. I am usually peppy. But I'm just so emotionally tired of it.

 

[[of...]]

Uggggggg!!!!!!!

 

It will pass sweets,  you have come so far.

 

Some days we just don't feel like it anymore.

 

YOu get to have a day like this, where you are just fed up,  i had plenty of them.  You are very strong and so courageous.

 

It will be okay.

 

love to you zoe xoxoxo

[[pa...]]

Thanks, guys. I'm just so tired of waiting.  Thank you for sharing your love and encouragement with me.