I Want To Get Off Tranxene After Nearly 30 Years

[[te...]]

 

I know I am physically dependent to this drug, and I know that as I age things will only get worse for me if I don't get off this stuff.  Doctors assured me many times that it is safe, and as recently as the mid 1990s as many as 7 psychiatrists performing an "Executive Diagnostic" for my insurance company, promised me that I could safely take this medication for the remainder of my life, to reduce the symptoms of my panic attacks due to Post Traumatic Stress, especially after we tried over 70 different anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, and anti-seizure drugs to manage my panic attacks, depression, and Bipolar Disorder.  Now doctors almost shun every drug in this class, yet my mental health clinic makes a point of always finding a psychiatrist who will prescribe it for me, because of my large documented medical history showing it to be one of the only medications I could tolerate with fewest adverse reactions.  I also take Topomax for Bipolar Disorder, because I cannot tolerate Lithium, Tegretol, Depakote, or Lamictal even in small doses.  They make me have slurred speech, stumbling, confusion, and extreme fatigue at sub-therapeutic doses, and mania is more present than the deep depressive cycle, but that's an entirely different monster.  I only mentioned that because it is one more complicating factor in how I manage this discontinuation.

 

For decades, doctors said that because of Tranxene's (clorazepate dipostassium) "unique long half-life," it was so revolutionary that it practically "detoxed" itself, in that it had such a long half-life, it took so long to clear the body, that withdrawal symptoms were practically non-existent.  I know this is not true.  In fact, I read an article in Pub Med explaining how Tranxene is metabolized into the exact same orphan drug as Valium within 30 - 40 minutes of oral administration.  Both Valium and Tranxene get their effect on the GABA center of the brain, after they are metabolized into the same orphan drug nordiazepam, they are for all intents and purposes the exact same drug, just with different names and differently packaged pills for distribution and administration.  Tranxene and Valium are Pro-drugs for the drug nordiazepam, the drug which exerts the effect of depressing the GABA center of the brain, according to PubMed, although Valium has a couple more metabolites than Tranxene, like temazepam and oxazepam, both of which are also used for insomnia and anxiety themselves.  While I don't have time at the moment to locate the original article I am referring to, I found another one here demonstrating serum concentrations of Nordiazepam in Valium, Tranxene, and Prazepam:  http://www.mayomedicallaboratories.com/test-catalog/print/8629

 

One of the reasons I have for coming here, is to seek advice on how to safely and humanely titrate my withdrawal.  Also, I want some advice on convincing my psychiatrist that stopping Tranxene should not be done in the stereotypical "6 weeks" they always tell you is "normal" for discontinuing these drugs.  Sorry, I will be too sick at that pace.  Many psychiatrists I had were not opposed to keeping me on, or stopping my therapy with Tranxene, but they seemed strongly opposed to a prolonged, drawn out withdrawal like the kind I am looking for.  I did some reading at the old BenzoYahoo Groups years ago, and tried to propose the idea of slowly tapering my Tranxene dose, but when I suggested doing it in a time frame lasting longer than 6 weeks, I was met with venomous rage, and one psychiatrist refused to treat me in 2009, and convinced all of her colleagues in one mental health clinic not to take me on as a client either.  I don't want this to happen again.  And I couldn't have been more tactful than a butterfly wing tapping on an elephant's ear, sharing my ideas.

 

Does Heather Ashton still sell her book about getting off benzos?  I want to share information without coming across as a "know it all," or telling my psychiatrist how to do his job.  He is a really nice guy, if any of them was the one I think I could persuade, I think it might be this one.  I am guessing, as many years as I have been on Tranxene, I may need to take as long as 2 years to withdraw safely and with the least amount of sickness, which I know I will encounter anyway.  I have read if it is done too quickly, the post-acute withdrawal can last as long as 5 - 10 years!  As a person already living with chronic disabling pain, I don't want to do this fast and sloppy.

 

I have seen old guys from the addiction programs, who were addicted to and abused benzos, guys who took them by the handful without regard for the dose, or getting them from a doctor.  Now they have clawed hands and walk with a dragging gait, making strange movements with their mouths, because they had such severe withdrawals when they were tied to beds to detox in hospitals, they had seizure after seizure, until transient ischemic attacks led to strokes, and they stroked out their brains detoxing too fast from Valium, Xanax, and Klonipin.  Poor homeless addicts like that didn't have money to hire personal injury lawyers, but the doctors who performed those detoxes to the point of stroke should not be allowed to practice medicine again, in my opinion.  I believe most doctors are not that inhumane, but there is a belief that homeless addicts do not deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and that sort of thinking is not just restricted to physicians.

 

At the most I was taking 15mg 3 - 4 times a day (45-60mg/day), but for the past 4 years, I have reduced that amount to 7.5mg 2 - 3 times a day (15-22.5mg/day).  During the last 6 months however, I found myself sticking to 3 times a day, because I took it so regularly that when I only took 2 7.5mg tabs a day, I got cramps, rage, insomnia, and psychosis. This is a seriously dangerous medication, now I know why doctors are leaning away from benzos, and the younger docs coming out of medical school nowadays won't even prescribe them longer than a few days or weeks anymore.  If I sleep a whole 6 - 8 hours, which is seldom anymore, since I can go for months without sleeping now, (which they blame on bipolar, which I believe is brain damage caused by a Paxil prescription - the psychs say the Paxil revealed an underlying Bipolar Illness, I think that's a croc, it was the illness du jour of the 1990s that just stuck with my medical records), if I sleep a whole 6-8 hours, I will wake up raging and insane, ready to hit people and yell over the phone, or yell at people who come to my home to give me home health care, until my Tranxene has had an hour or two to reach optimal levels in my system.  This is the true physical dependence at it's worst.  My body shakes and feels like it's almost dis-associative until my dose of Tranxene has reached it's level, and sometimes that doesn't even help, it can make it worse.  Then all I can do is breathe deeply, stay preoccupied, and wait.

 

I know this is going to be difficult, but if I wait until my doctor quits, retires, or gets a new job, I may find myself with a mean doctor who is not open to any sort of detox at all.  I never take more than my prescribed dose, but like most addicted people, I have hoarded a large amount of these pills, in case I ever find myself in a situation where I am left alone in charge of my detox, without the cooperation of a doctor to titrate the dose off.  Hoard, how you say?  One pill at a time, over a 14 year period, eventually you have a few saved up in case of an earthquake, or that mean doctor that wants to discontinue you in 6 weeks.  I am not condoning or promoting illegal behavior, I just don't trust doctors who don't have education about benzo withdrawal protocols. They all think a 6 week "detox" is appropriate, and that is just sooo under helpful.  Heck, in the late 1990s even when I was arrested once, and nobody posted bond for 4 days, I was transferred to County jail, where a 4 week discontinuation schedule was created on a calendar in the infirmary.  A nurse shook her head, commenting, "all that Neurontin your'e on, that's a heavy duty painkiller, you must really be high as a kite."  They are a judgmental bunch, those infirmary medical staff.

 

I had a friend who was having severe anxiety, and getting no relief from Xanax or Ativan back in 2000.  I told him to talk to his doctor about Tranxene, because the benzos with the short half-life sometimes caused rebound anxiety.  His doctor was from Africa, and much more experienced with benzo detox than American doctors.  My friend took Tranxene for only 6 months or less, prescribed by this doctor, but it made his anxiety worse than helped it.  His doctor spent 18 months tapering his dose, even though the Tranxene made my friend feel more anxious and panicky, than helped.  Isn't it strange an African doctor is better educated about detox times than an American doctor, who would have stopped a 6 month patient in under 2 days, if that, saying the typical, "Tranxene has such a long half life, it discontinues itself?"  (Literally dozens of doctors have told me that line.)  It just goes to show we are not the mightiest, the most educated, or the most medically accessible country in the developed, or third world.

 

I am just looking for discontinuation titration recommendations, and ideas for helping my doctor see the wisdom in doing a longer, slower, smaller dose step-down withdrawal than the typical "norm."  All this before he leaves his post in my mental health clinic, or before I suffer more signs of aging than I am already.  I am also on Neurontin, so just imagine my short term (and moderate term) memory retention!!  The Neurontin is for peripheral neuropathy in my legs, although they tried to sell it to me as a Bipolar treatment, which was totally illegal.  It never worked for my mania or moods, but when I quit taking it my leg nerves went berserk, and I realized that it was effective as a mild pain reliever for nerve pain of that particular type. 

 

I developed venous stasis between 2005-2007, and I developed a large full depth wound on the dorsum of my left foot that lasted for over three years.  Deep venous ultrasound revealed veins with non-functional directional valves, and weak walls, which allow back flow of blood and edema.  I have to wear heavy compression wraps or Circ-Aids, and keep my legs elevated above my heart when I sleep, if I don't they will swell up, get gigantic, and mis-shaped, along with bleeding ulcers seeping large drainage of lymphatic and other fluids.  I am not diabetic, and was anorexic and bulimic well into my 30s, before I became sedentary because of chronic back pain, and general malaise and widespread pain, which led to extreme weight gain.  Now my Primary Care Physician prescribes Neurontin to me instead of my psychiatrist.

 

Kind Regards

 

Tekk

[[pi...]]

Hello tekknokat,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies!! I'm sorry you have had such a rough go of things.  These benzos are strong drugs as you know and it is important to reduce under a doctors care.  I did take the Ashton Manual to my doctor when we were preparing my taper. Here is a link to the manual:

 

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

 

Others will be around shortly to welcome you. Please feel free to ask questions.

 

pianogirl

 

 

[[te...]]

 

Thank you for the link.  I knew this information existed somewhere, I just couldn't remember where, I'm so glad it's still there.

 

I really don't know how much I can offer to the Community yet as far as feedback or experience.  I think for now the best thing I can do is just read and learn, and then share how successful my withdrawal is as I progress.

 

I see my psychiatrist Wednesday, which our visits now vary between 30 days to 90 days, depending on what's going on with me, and his schedule, as our clinic serves people on fixed income, and the schedule can become heavy at times, so I only have a few minutes to make my presentation to him, make a positive representation of what the benzo withdrawal can do to improve my quality of life, and that I am able to cope with it considering I am a very emotionally reactive person to events in my life.  Otherwise the topic could go on hold for another few months again, if I don't present this properly.  Maybe once I am off the Tranxene I won't be so emotionally responsive to everything that is going on around me, these benzos can increase anxiety just as they take it away in the beginning, I've been on it for such a long time I can't remember what I felt like before.  I was also younger and healthier, but who's to say the benzo didn't contribute in some ways to my health problems as well, or at least create an environment where my health could be more susceptible.

 

Everytime I am hospitalized, they always order my Tranxene, because it's in my medical records that I am taking it from my psychiatrists orders.  It is ordered 3 times a day, not PRN.  Well, I have been hospitalized 6 times since last June, and I was hospitalized again March 11-13.  I keep getting severe cellulitis infections in my legs, it's not the painful infections that are difficult for me, it's the fever, chills, nausea, and eventual loss of my memory once my fever reaches 102-104F, I don't know my birthday, SSN, medications I am taking, and the Ambulance and ER treat me like the mentally handicapped were treated in the 1600s before modern medicine, they make me leave the house naked with no clothes on, keys, medical records or cellphone, they make fun of me and call me names, it's degrading to the point I avoid calling 9-1-1 to my detriment.  Last time, even though I have been treated at this hospital for over 15 years, they didn't order my Tranxene, and discharged me with instructions as taking it PRN, as needed, as if their records reflected that.  They told me they chose to do so because I appeared too sleepy.  They didn't care that I had gone from February 17 until March 11, and only slept two 6 hour intervals during all of those days, and after being in the bathroom vomiting out one end, and having diarrhea out the other end from Saturday afternoon, until Sunday noon, before I went to the Emergency Room.  After they gave me several injections of painkillers in the ER where I languished for 12+ hours (something that never happened to me before at this particular hospital, the long wait that is), it was only natural that exhaustion kicks in and you want to close your eyes and rest after such a grueling vomiting bowel movement marathon.  They did a drug screen and verified I was not on alcohol or street drugs, but behaved cautionary that I asked for my Tranxene prescription after closing my eyes and taking a nap in the morning.  And when I was discharged the time before there was the same confusion, my discharge instructions said to stop taking the Tranxene, and because I have a home health care agency taking care of me, I had to have them take it out of the computer and correct it, because the nurse is bound to make me follow those instructions, regardless of what my psychiatrist orders.  The doctor apologized and said she was not aware that my psychiatrist wrote the prescription that way, but what else can you expect from a hospital that allows all of it's doctors to be first year residents, with attendings who sit in offices and sign papers all day without actually seeing patients, or following up on residents actions by checking on the patient directly?  I have felt honored and cared for the 2 times an attending actually came and answered my questions, and addressed concerns I had with resident's decisions, in one case prescribing me a medication that I was told I could not take with the medications my doctor prescribed me, as they could cause a fatal interaction together.  I've only met my attending physician on my cases twice during 16 hospitalizations since December 2008, and I didn't have a single admission in 2009, so most of those in-patient visits lasting 3-5 days were in 2010, 2011-2012.

 

I am scared if I don't do this withdrawal soon, I could find myself in a nursing home or assisted living Long Term Care situation, where I have no discontinuation schedule available to me.  I have seen so many old people in nursing homes who go to our community mental health clinics, where I've gone for the past 14 years, taken from high doses of Klonipin and Valium, and dropped to complete abstinence without a single step-down dose, and then everybody acts surprised when they have seizures and drop flat on their face.  My medication hoard will be dragged off to the garbage dump with the rest of my furniture and belongings, with very little advanced notice in my health situation.  By the 3rd day, I would have been going through serious withdrawal during my March 11-13 stay in the hospital, if not for having a few Tranxene tablets tucked inside the pockets of the backpack my Personal Care Worker brought me the 2nd day, with my socks, underwear, keys, and cell phone.  It amazes (frightens) me how unfamiliar with medical history these hospital doctors are, when they go to the trouble to ask so many questions, they keep horribly incomplete, inadequate medical records.  I am not trying to justify taking medication in the hospital they don't give you, but am I supposed to sit there with my intestines grinding in my guts and nauseous, with ears ringing, because they don't know what they are doing?  Always listen to your doctor, even when when they are obstinately under educated and unknowledgable about their practices. 

[[Mi...]]

Hi Tekknokat,

 

Welcome to the forum.  You will find a lot of encouraging ans sympathetic people here.  All of us are in various stages of tapering, withdrawal and recovery from benzos, so we understand what you are going through.  I'm sorry you are suffering, you have really been through a lot. I understand your desire to get off tranxene.  This is a drug that I am not familiar with and probably not many on this forum know it.  That is probably why you have not received many responses and suggestions for tapering it.  I see that you are going to try and get your doctor on board to help you taper.  I would advise what pianogirl has already mentioned.  You can print out the Ashton manual and take it with you to your next appointment.  You are right to want a slow and controlled taper.  I am sending you positive energy for help and healing and strength for the journey.

 

MiniMinnie

[[te...]]

Thank you for the encouraging replies.

 

I think my health can only get better after I am off this drug.  I am scared, but nothing ever came from waiting around for a problem to solve itself.

 

I wish I could remember where I read that people taking benzos for many years can begin to experience flu-like symptoms.  I have had weeks on end where I had nausea, dizziness, sweats,  and fatigue, and never even considered it could be my benzo, I just assumed that I was suffering from some horrible disease my doctor kept missing.  He did every sort of test from neurological to blood work and urine specimens, looking for liver function, blood sugar, cholesterol, and infectious disease that could be in addition to the health issues we know I have.  It could have been the benzo all along, I never wanted to think that, I would defend any reason to have my anxiety medicine, but at what cost?  I am still anxious, so why keep going through this if I am not going to let them medicate me into a stupor with the stronger meds?  By stronger I mean the anti-psychotics and "mood stabilizers."  My psychiatrist is very kind and understanding, if anything I think he will be confused and wonder what more he can do for me, possibly feel like he's done all he can.  I am not asking him to take me off the Topomax, but we both know whatever they are labeling as my "Bipolar Disorder" is being under treated, because the meds they used to give me put me in a stupor where I can't function.  Granted I am on Disability income at this time, but I don't think that's a reason to turn my brain into a vegetable, people still have expectations of me I don't think I can meet if I am medicated to the point of utter unresponsiveness.  The biggest reason we stuck with the benzo for so long was just the acceptance that it had the fewest side effects and tolerability of everything else we tried to manage my mood disorder.  3 Decades worth of psychiatrists. 

 

Maybe it's a wrong expectation of our pill obsessed society that everything can be cured or even treated with a medication, especially mood issues.  At some point I think you just have to change the programming in your brain in order to change the mood, and pills aren't going to change those broken records we play for ourselves over and over that keep us stuck in bad mood issues, even if they do call them "Bipolar," or anything else.  I know most psychiatrists will argue to the death that nothing short of chemicals can correct a true "Bipolar" condition, but I'm just not sure if that is always the case, sometimes bad mental programming might just get us stuck in behaviors and mood cycles that might mimic a "brain disease," because we are anxious and can't sleep for many weeks, then maybe need a few days to catch up on our sleep in a cycle that looks like a Bipolar cycle.  Of course they say a true Bipolar will deny they have the illness when they want to experience that "high" of being manic again, but even some psychiatrists publish books saying that the disease of "Bipolar" doesn't really exist, so I don't know what to believe at this point.  I wouldn't really describe my sleepless cycles as being particularly pleasant, or that I have particular mental clarity or euphoria like the clinical Bipolar patient purportedly does.  Probably because they could be created by the benzo itself, the treatment causing the problem.  After my last benzo break in 1992-1996, I was particularly depressed and they put me on Paxil for the depression.  Now that was a full blown mania, where I felt euphoric, invincible, and smarter than everybody in the whole world, in other words happy and delusional.  It was when they took me off it in the Emergency Room after 2 months of no sleep, and I was cleaning the lint off the walls, they put me on Depakote and Ativan, and I cried for 3 days straight and then slept for a few days.  I won't go into the whole story, but I kind of think I know the difference between being manic, and just being unable to sleep for long periods either because I am anxious, or my benzo is screwing up my brainwaves that produce restful sleep, real good and crazy.

 

Tranxene is usually used these days for alcohol detox, it has a long half-life like diazepam, but comes in odd doses like 3.75mg, 7.5mg, and 15mg all scored, and they make 11.25mg-SD and 22.5mg-SD time released tablets as well.  It is very occasionally used for seizure disorders while waiting for a more permanent seizure drug to build up to a therapeutic dose in the body, as a temporary seizure management pending something more reliable which usually take gradual increase in dose to get to therapeutic dose levels, like Lamictal, you can't just start a person on a therapeutic dose immediately, so you put them on a benzo until they are on a therapeutic dose of Lamictal, usually just a few weeks or couple months at the most.  One of the reasons Tranxene is used less, is because even the generics (clorazepate dipotassium) cost tremendously more expense than Diazepam (Valium), Lorazepam (Ativan), and Clonazepam (Klonipin), a month's worth of clorazepate dipotassium can start at $85.00 - $120.00 for 3 x 7.5mg tablets a day, where a month's worth of diazepam can start at around $15.00 generic for 90 5mg tablets, or clonazepam around $27.00 for 90 1mg tablets, and if you get medicaid, they prefer cheaper alternatives, and Medicaid in my State (and most others) will pay for benzos where Federal Medicare no longer pays for them after the creation of the Part D Prescription Drug program in 2007.  (One must be EXTREMELY low income to qualify for Medicaid however, so if you earn a moderately small income it's a punishment to be denied any help at all to pay for your taper.  Imagine all the elderly adults who had no benzo taper when that federal law went into effect, a couple of advocacy groups tried to intervene on their/our behalfs at that time).  Because of those odd dosing numbers, I suspect that's why it's not used instead of Diazepam for slow benzo taper, it's easier to taper a medicine with 2mg tablets that come scored, or 1mg/1ml solution oral.  That's one reason why a lot of people might not have heard of it.  It is sometimes used for temporary epileptic relief, but since the advent of Klonipin not so much, but it stays in the body longer than Klonipin so I hear.  It is supposedly less re-enforcing to most people than Valium, I know people tell me that have taken it they wish they could have Valium or Klonipin instead.  The first time they gave it to me when I was 14 years old, and being treated for post traumatic stress, it kind of made me have that "Valium" feeling people recognize, relaxed and calm, but in later years when they gave it to me again, it didn't make me feel that way.  I was less anxious, but didn't have that alcohol "buzzed" feeling pill abusers are seeking.  It's pretty much used for the same things diazepam and librium are used for, but just in oddly numbered doses, and more expensive.  It was that Pro-drug then orphan drug long half-life of the nordiazepam that gave it such marketability in the 1980s as the benzo that "had such a long half-life, it tapered itself."  HA!  Mostly doctors now in their 60s and 70s still know about it, younger ones not as much.  Just while were on the topic of half-life, when the half-life metabolites of a drug are in your system, you may not feel the effects you took the drug for originally, but they can potentiate the effects of other interacting drugs you take.  For instance, you could take a Valium, and you don't feel the effects 3 days later, but if you had a glass of alcoholic beverage, you could experience much more intoxication, than if you had no Valium metabolites in your body at all.  Just something I picked up along the way, many people here probably already know that.

 

They knew in the 1960s and 1970s these benzos were addictive, but they used to characterize addiction as a flaw in character strength, they hadn't yet come to accept that with certain drugs, physical dependency had nothing to do with willpower, but with chemicals taking over the function of naturally occurring neuro-chemicals and neurotransmitters that then stopped functioning on their own, thus creating physical dependency and withdrawal.  Before you know it, your brain's own synapses atrophy and need time to restore after a drug is removed, before they eventually function like before the drug was taken.  Even in the mid 1980s, some doctors didn't want to prescribe me benzos, and opted to prescribe me anti-psychotics instead like Navane, Stelazine, Mellaril, very strong medications originally meant to treat schizophrenia.  I didn't have schizophrenia, or behavioral problems, but they wanted to treat my panic disorder and anxiety, without getting me addicted to a benzo they told me.  They told me it was because Tranxene was addictive, that was the only one I had heard of because that's what they gave me in the hospital after a trauma. 

 

I would ask my psychiatrists for Tranxene when I was a teen, after having panic attacks so bad I rode an ambulance to the ER several times, thinking I was having heart attacks.  It wasn't until years later that doctors tried Xanax, Ativan, and Valium on me, and Valium was the only one I could easily tolerate, the others made me agitated and restless, and much more severe rebound anxiety.  Once my doctor told me to take 4mg of Xanax or maybe even 6mg it was a lot.  I fell asleep and had shallow breathing, my roommates couldn't wake me and were scared.  After I woke up I was agitated and crazy, like when a person gets stupid drunk.  When my Mom divorced her abusive husband (he adopted me when I was 3), she was on Xanax for 1 month 1985 I think, and she behaved crazy on it, especially after chasing one with a wine cooler, and she NEVER touched alcohol the whole time I grew until High School, maybe at a friend's dinner she had 1 glass of wine every 5 years at most, so her behavior on Xanax shocked me. 

 

I did a 6 week Valium taper when I was 21, that left me physically and mentally exhausted, I had only been taking 5mg x 3 a day for around 6 months to a year, it's been a while so I forget how long that doctor was treating me.  I opted to get off of it, because they tried to switch me to Klonipin when I moved to a whole new State, from the East Coast to a Western (non-coastal) State.  Klonipin was expensive in 1992 (and no generic yet then), it made me extremely agitated and restless, and I really couldn't afford out-of-pocket psychiatrist at the time without insurance, and nobody told me about the community mental health programs, despite my great need.  Maybe it was better that way, I got a break from meds for a few years.  I got so sick to my stomach, one day at work every muscle in my body stiffened up, and my toes curled down like they do when you are walking in a cold stream or swimming pool.  My boss at my new job had to send me home I was going through such severe withdrawal.  In fact, that happens to me somtimes when I have been awake for a month or so, and I fall asleep for something like 10-12 or so hours without taking my benzo, I will wake up with my toes curled under like they do when you are trying to walk in a cold swimming pool and don't have your calves extended far enough.  Once my calf muscle stiffened so hard I jumped out of bed and had to bounce on one leg to a wall where I could lean to slowly stretch out my calf and stretch it to a relaxed position, it hurt like something else.  I think my benzo might have been responsible for that, not 100%, as I have been found to have plaque in my brain, which led doctors to tell me I might have Multiple Sclerosis when I was 19, but when I was 38 they told me I didn't, so I don't know what to believe.  The plaque could have been left by the benzo, it's a result of demyelinization, I was the picture of physical health from age 21 until 32, then it was downhill from there again, but they gave me MRIs in 1990 and 1995 both showed presence of plaque that made them think I might develop MS, could have been from the benzo maybe?  (I was just taking a break from typing, and read on one of the Ashton Manual pages, sorry Google Chrome can have 60+  tabs open so  I lost which page it is, that benzos can mimic symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis of a certain type, but you wouldn't actually have MS, it only mimics the condition.)

 

I keep my browsing history by saving all the bookmarks I visit on any given day in dated folders in my browser bookmarks.  Somewhere I found articles where brains of long term benzo users were weighed after death, and they were smaller and weighed less than brains of people who did not use alcohol or drugs.  That's very disturbing to wonder what you lose when your brain shrinks that way.  Years ago I read that was true with alcoholics, but had been proven untrue with diazepam or benzos.  I guess since the book I originally read (that had to be in the 1990s I read that book, and written and published who knows when) somebody somewhere decided to look into the effects of benzos on post death brain weight a little deeper.  They didn't say what it means, but it can't be good while you are living.  We use some of that grey matter, if not can we be living life to the fullest?

 

Thanks again for the support.  I guess if people have responded to my original post, I shouldn't be posting in the Introductions section anymore?  Does that mean I have been given permission to browse the rest of the forum?  I figure otherwise other people wouldn't have been able to see my post?

[Guest [...]]

wow Tek

 

what a story i do feel for you.  You are free to post where ever you want perhaps go to the other threads and start a new one in regards to tapering.  i do not know the drug but it sounds dreadful like the rest of them.  So we are all here to help you and acknowledge your pain.  you can do this just do it the right way.

 

Lizzy

[[La...]]

Hi Tek, I have been reading through your interesting posts and I feel you are a very strong and intelligent person and your brain sure seems intact despite all the meds that have been shoved at it by your various Drs, your have been able to keep track of a medication inflicted  journey of your mind and body and are able to put it all down in a very concise manner. I just want you to know that I have been on benzos myself for over 20 yrs and I am in the process of tapering Temazepam, I have noticed my brain function improving dramatically since I started this withdrawal journey, I have my short term memory back, I am able to type without mixing up the letters , I had become dyslexic like, I am just able to function much better than during heavy prescribed use, now on the down side my sleep is bad although slowly improving, but I am still on the sleep med just tapering, 4-5 hrs is a good night for me up from maybe 2, I have some eye twitching and a tightness in my throat which brings wih it a feeling of not being able to take a deep satisfying breath, I say feeling as I know I am breathing well and this is a side effect, some other milder side effect  that are just  showing me that I am healing, you are a very strong person and I wish you all the best in life , you have suffered and are winning, we are the only ones who can do this for ourselves, listen to your Drs to keep them informed but I have found the folks on this site have far more knowledge than any Dr or pharmacist I have met so far. keep up the fight. Ladygrace

[[ma...]]

Hi Tek

Thanks again for the support.  I guess if people have responded to my original post, I shouldn't be posting in the Introductions section anymore?  Does that mean I have been given permission to browse the rest of the forum?  I figure otherwise other people wouldn't have been able to see my post?]

 

Your post is visible to everyone. wow!! what a story, you are very strong, thank you for sharing. I am sending you positive energy for help and healing

 

Feel free to browse and post in the forum 

 

((hugs))

 

Margarita