For those who've had benzo-flu?

[[Ti...]]

I had it really really bad last week with awful head sensations, malaise, chills, headaches, floating head, tight band feeling, muscle aches, NO fever.  While it's let up some, I've been feeling fatigued and sick all week, VERY exhausted, a lot of muscle weakness.  This sick feeling just isn't letting up all the way...What is going on?  Has anyone experienced this?  I also have insomnia and not sleeping more than a few hours a night which isn't helping the situation.

[[ha...]]

Yea I have, all of the above, I felr like I had a fever, but I took my tempature and I never did. I think it has to do with are muscles, mine get so tight for a few days and then the crushing fatigue fallows. I never had a hard time to sleep, I know I am lucky in that aspect, so I can't amagine how that would be. I spoke to a pharmasict yeaterday and he told me to take magnesium for soar muscles, he said it was very good for sleep also. It might be something you want to look into.

[[ha...]]

oops, just read it, sorry for the bad spelling...lol

[[ch...]]

I felt like this every day of my taper!    After two months off, it began to get better. It's hard, I know!

 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

[[Ti...]]

Chyranthemum-

 

You did!?!?  I haven't heard many that have had this.  So you had the benzo flu a lot, sore achy muscles, and insomnia?  And it got better?  I am concerned I am developing a chronic illness from all of this...ALL of these sx match CFS!

 

Thank you for the reassurance.

 

Harlotte--Thank you for responding!!!

[[ja...]]

tina...

 

You just discribed me in many months of w.d. I.swear I keep saying I feel like I

have the flu..Awful!! The fatigue was no joke either.It does lift Tina. Hang in there.

 

~Jenny

[[Ti...]]

Jaso--thank you thank you thank you!!  I really needed to hear that.

[[Ti...]]

Oh, and have any of you ever felt really out of breath when walking around and like you weighed 1000 lbs??

[[Re...]]

I can totally relate. When I talk to my friends and family, the closest I can describe coming off the meds is the flu without the fever. I feel so achy, especially in my joints, neck back and shoulders. I also feel hypersenstive to touch. The fatigue is unrelenting and I have a hard time staying awake but I can't nap. My affect beomes flat. It is just not me. Today I feel it but the last 3 days I felt almost normal and then it hits like a Mack truck and persists until a few days into my next cut. Lat cut it lasted about 10-14 days! Bummer!

 

Recover

[[Po...]]

HI Tina- My doc has been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me for some time. I feel like crap, crushing fatigue, malaise, queasy stomach some times...very much like the flu, except I dont have the flu(influenza). I have had every blood test know to man which has shown nothing. I do have a heart issue, but I am having no cardiac symptoms and when I have a stress echo I do great.

 

I am not tapering, I got off xanax via valium in 2008, but since then I have dabbled with taking valium 2-3x when I travel. The last time was in December. I thought I could do this and get away with it. Turns out I can't. Some people have to learn the hard way I guess. I think what I am experiencing is another round of WD and I think its become protracted at that. I dont know how much longer it will go on. I keep looking for other answers to my fatigue and malaise, but I am coming to believe there are none and I have benzo flu. I have times when I feel fine and then it comes roaring back and all I can do is lay down and rest. It sucks.  :-\

 

Pokey

[[br...]]

I had almost every symptom listed when in early

WD. I was a few weeks into benzo flu before I even knew it was from having tapered down too far. Didnt think I'd have any problems. Was I wrong.

 

It does go away with time. I still get twinges of those symptoms during waves.

[[...]]

I've been off Klonopin for a little over a month and when the roller coaster goes down, it does feel like flu.  And like a truck ran over me.  Reading about others with similar symptoms helps, makes me a little surer that this is benzo healing going on.

[[ch...]]

Chyranthemum-

 

You did!?!?  I haven't heard many that have had this.  So you had the benzo flu a lot, sore achy muscles, and insomnia?  And it got better?  I am concerned I am developing a chronic illness from all of this...ALL of these sx match CFS!

 

Thank you for the reassurance.

 

Harlotte--Thank you for responding!!!

I am writing to you on two different threads! I will respond to both on this one.

 

To answer your question, YES! I felt like I had the benzo flu every day of my taper-- some days worse than others. I described my worst days as a cross between the worst flu of my life coupled with the worst hangover from my college carefree party days. Even then, that would not describe how sick I felt. I also felt like I had a mild flu the entire time I was on Klonapin. I was diagnosed with CFS by a top specialist, but I now firmly believe it was because I had a severe sensitivity to this medication which I was prescribed in a roundabout way after I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis. I no longer have severe fatigue, but I still did when I was on even 1 mg of Valium.

 

I know the damage of this drug. I know that some people have additional mental health issues and I believe firmly that they should be addressed holistically or by medication. I am very lucky in that I have had TONS of support from some in the medical professional as I have a great deal of credibility due to my education level and profession. (I also have had bad experiences with Dr's mostly when I spent years trying to figure out why I was so sick all the time... I cannot imagine why I did not suspect the Klonapin but 1.5 mg sounded like a tiny dose. Stupid, I know!   ) I do not have mental health issues and I was knocked on my a** with this drug. I DO however continue to have a bladder disease which is managed by diet and Elmiron.

 

My taper was different in that I never doubted myself. I never thought I was crazy, I never thought I had other illnesses, I never sought out diagnoses. I just knew that the only way OUT was THROUGH and I hunkered down and did what I had to do. It sucked, I hated every second of it. I do not have little ones like you but I am the single mom of three teenagers and that is a LOT to cope with. I also am a stay at home Mom for now so I didn't have to contend with going to work. I don't think I could have survived it.

 

My taper was compounded by the fact that I am also on pain meds from a very serious spinal injury and subsequent surgery. I am almost done tapering off of them. It was my pain Dr. who encouraged me to get off the Klonapin-- it had a synergistic effect with the pain meds and I was never so tired in my entire life. He is very well respected nationally and he called me at home and told me to get off the klonapin. He said it would be very hard to do and that the smallest doses were the worst. I believed him, accepted it and moved forward. It took me many months to taper off because I was simultaneously going off my pain meds in addition to Baclofen, and 2400 mg of daily Motrin. If you go to the progress boards to November 6 you will see where I posted my list of symptoms... many, many more than you describe.

 

What worked for me was to not get involved with weighing every symptom. I knew it would be hard and it was. I tried everything I could to cope. I did most of my taper before I even joined BB and often times found the forum overwhelming and did not post here much but I still read and silently cheered on my buddies.

 

When I saw the disregard some people had for your symptoms I felt like I had to come out behind the curtain and lend you some support. I WAS that sick on a small dose. Steadily tapering the last 5 mg of Valium was my plan and that is what I did. I was done in November and felt really sick throughout Dec. especially on Christmas but now I am feeling a LOT better. Not quite a success yet, but getting there.

 

And I guess while I am here I will also clearly state many foods and caffeine bothered me, as well as any vitamins and hormonal supplements. I quit caffeine and noticed a big improvement. I also adopted an organic diet and that helped as well. I did some research and found a list of neurotoxins and all of the things that made me feel sick were on that list. It revs up your CNS. I have recently added back in some caffeine and no longer have issues.

 

In regards to your other post, YES, I validate your symptoms. It made me very sad to see the tone of some people who have not successfully budged on their own dose. I believe that this is a very individual journey and that shared experiences can help. Judgement does not help. I BELIEVE YOU and I do believe it is very possible that your symptoms are all due to benzo withdrawal. If I were you I would focus on finishing your taper at a reasonable rate. I would accept that I am going to feel sick and I would stay the course. Trying to stabilize at a low dose may be counterproductive to your goal of feeling better.

 

Today I went for a 2 mile walk and also went to a family dinner where I had Chinese food. Three months ago I would not have felt well enough to walk down my driveway and Chinese food spices flared up my symptoms. Once you are through with your taper you will hopefully begin to heal. It may not feel like it but minutes turn into hours and then days and then months and soon you will feel more like yourself. Don't get hung up on protracted withdrawal or anything other than finishing your taper.

 

One day you will feel better and you will drop by and reassure a buddy and you will move forward with a lovely life with family and friends.

 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

[[Ti...]]

Crys-- thank you. You made me cry. In a good way. A good release. I just want me back. Did you also have cog fog and a weird feeling where you couldn't connect to others like you used to or enjoy things like you used to?  I feel my mind is so dulled and can't truly feel any emotions. This just started happenIng recently. I prefer to be alone these days which is not me. I tend to avoid people including my own family. I have had a lot if physical sx but these mental ones are devastating to me. Can you relate to his as well?  I am typically a chatterbox and very outgoing, creative and involved in life. I feel like I am on my own stuck in my own head and can't FEEL rhis beautiful life around me  just going through the motions for my family's sake. Thank you again for your kind words. That meant so much to me.

[[ch...]]

Crys-- thank you. You made me cry. In a good way. A good release. I just want me back. Did you also have cog fog and a weird feeling where you couldn't connect to others like you used to or enjoy things like you used to?  I feel my mind is so dulled and can't truly feel any emotions. This just started happenIng recently. I prefer to be alone these days which is not me. I tend to avoid people including my own family. I have had a lot if physical sx but these mental ones are devastating to me. Can you relate to his as well?  I am typically a chatterbox and very outgoing, creative and involved in life. I feel like I am on my own stuck in my own head and can't FEEL rhis beautiful life around me  just going through the motions for my family's sake. Thank you again for your kind words. That meant so much to me.

Yes, I had cog fog. I did connect to my kids and a few friends but I did not socialize while I was in active withdrawal, unless I had to and I kept it to a minimum. I was way too sick to do much of anything most days. I watched tons of TV with each one of my kids at different times, so that helped. I watched entire series on DVD's-- Everwood, Parenthood, How I Met Your Mother, and Friends. I tried very hard to cook a balanced meal everyday and just stumbled through my days. I, too, avoided people. Over the 21 months I tapered off the benzo and the pain meds, I did take the summers off so I could spend time with my kids but I still felt pretty sick when I wasn't actively tapering. If I hadn't experienced it I wouldn't have believed it. Before I had even begun my taper I had about 8 months of a recovery from 2 spine surgeries where I had two broken bones removed, a spondlylothesis (SP?) repaired, two discs removed and replaced and scar tissue removed from my spinal cord. I have literally been fighting for my health for the last 4 years so I do not have much patience for BS. You learn what is important in life when you have to relearn to walk.

 

I will tell you what may go a LONG way in helping you feel better: ACCEPTANCE AND FAITH. Accept that you will feel sick. Don't look up symptoms more than you have to, try and focus on encouraging others, and just accept that this day and many days thereafter may be difficult. And then here is where FAITH comes in: remember the woman you used to be and know that she will return and you will be stronger and more loving and compassionate because of what you went through. There were MANY, MANY dark hours for me in this. MANY! The more I heal though the less I remember. I thought my poor children would be scarred for life from these years but they too have recovered with me and it is like they don't even remember how bad it got.

 

You will recover, too. But, first my friend you have to taper. The only way out is through. I do not know much about conversions so I will be of no help to you there. Once I crossed over to Valium I lowered my dose by 1 mg a week except for one week where I did .5mg. Was it hard? YES, it was awful. Some people on this board suggested I go slower and I realize for some that is the only way to go. But, for me, I was already sick ALL THE TIME so I knew I had to get off. I did not begin to feel better until I was finished with the drug. That is the heart of the Ashton Manual. The truth is if you are at approximately 2 mg of Valium you could reasonably be done in 4 weeks by going .5 mg a week. You could lower it by 1 mg a week and be done in 2 weeks. Or you can do it really slowly. It is up to you.  What worked for me was getting off. You are on a pretty low dose in terms of tapering-- Ashton herself said don't prolong the agony. I know with all my heart that you can have bad symptoms on that low of a dose because I lived it, lived through it, and came out the other side

 

YOU are still YOU. You will be a chatterbox soon again and you will be creative and involved in life. But, now is your time to heal. You have to OWN it and believe it.

 

I believe it. You will heal. And it will be hard. But then, one day a few months out you will be shocked to discover that you feel pretty good  and you will help someone else, and so it goes....

 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

 

[[...]]

Wow!  This weekend I was slightly alarmed when (during a window), I went to my church for the first time in months and felt like I wanted to run back home and hide.  It was too much.  I feel so removed from the things that used to fire me up.  Scary.  Then I checked this thread and found your descriptions of cog fog.  Whew!  So this distance thing is part of the w/d!  It is a relief to read about other people withdrawn from the world.  I have a music library that has been a major drive in my life for some 40 years.  I've taken a break from it and right now I feel like I might not get back to it.  Which is very scary, given how invested I was.  But if this retreat from the world is part of the healing, then I can ride this out.  So glad I came back to this thread and saw your posts!!!

[[ch...]]

TinaCA,

I just am checking in on you. How are you feeling?

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

[[Ti...]]

Hi Chrys-

 

Doing OK--have not touched my dosing and have stabilized a bit to the point where my muscle tone is a bit better and I can walk a little better.  Also not waking up in sheer panic every morning and fatigue a bit better.  However, right now my most disturbing sx is the cog fog and apathy.  I try to turn on music I like, play a game with my little ones who I love more than anything and it is just going through the motions.  I feel like I am slightly drunk (although not drunk, if you know what I mean).  Just that feeling where I can't connect and I feel like I am living in my own little world.  In fact, I got a speeding ticket today (lol--2nd one in my life-and it was a cheap shot-50 in a 40 zone) and it barely phased me--usually I would be an emotional mess!  It is driving me crazy, but I am just trying to take deep breaths and realize that someday it will be gone.  I miss feeling emotions and having motivation and interest in life.  I don't know how you watched TV as right now I can't even concentrate on TV--it irritates me or something--I can't focus--just like a one year old couldn't focus on a TV show!  I saw my doctor today and he said that the cog fog and fogginess coupled the muscle weakness are in line with someone who has had a stroke.  I know I have not had a stroke and am in w/d, but it is frightening to know my brain is so screwed up right now (my poor brain).  I mean, we only have one brain and only go around once--so it's unnerving when your cognition and mental abilities are off-kilter.  I have always considered myself a bright, intelligent person--not to mention full of emotions and a zest for life--all of which are compromised right now.  I have not had cognitive issues until these last couple weeks and they are hard to deal with.  I miss me and want me back.  I try to take your advice that they are just s/x and will pass and am trying to leave it at that (easier said than done though!) At least a lot of the physical symptoms have let up, so I am thankful for that

 

Anyways, you are so sweet--thank you for thinking of me.  It means a lot

 

Take care,

Tina

[[Re...]]

I had it really really bad last week with awful head sensations, malaise, chills, headaches, floating head, tight band feeling, muscle aches, NO fever.  While it's let up some, I've been feeling fatigued and sick all week, VERY exhausted, a lot of muscle weakness.  This sick feeling just isn't letting up all the way...What is going on?  Has anyone experienced this?  I also have insomnia and not sleeping more than a few hours a night which isn't helping the situation.

 

Yes and I had a sore throat too with headache and chills.

[[ch...]]

Dear Friend!

Good for you. I can tell that you have made a little peace with this and I think that is a good start! Your zest for life will come back before you know it, I promise you.

 

Tapering sucks. It just does. But, I will tell you truthfully that I did not feel much better until I was done completely. At 4 months out, and still tapering off pain meds, I feel 80% better than any day I was ON Klonapin or any day of my taper.

 

YOU WILL HEAL! You have made a cognitive switch in how you perceive this and that shows great strength and fortitude. I am proud of you! 

 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

[[Ti...]]

Harlotte, recover, pokey, Bryan, luci, and redriding,

 

Just found this old post and realized I didn't thank you for your responses. I am still fighting many of these sx on a daily basis. It feels like post flu exhaustion-that icky feeling every day. I would love to hear updates on how you are all doing. There has to be an end in sight!

 

Hugs,

Tina

[[Ti...]]

Taking such small cuts but the flu feeling and fatigue is unrelenting. I hope the rest of you are doing better with these symptoms!!  It is tough feeling sick and exhausted day after day after day!!!!

[[ch...]]

Taking such small cuts but the flu feeling and fatigue is unrelenting. I hope the rest of you are doing better with these symptoms!!  It is tough feeling sick and exhausted day after day after day!!!!

 

You poor dear. It's so hard to feel like this, especially when you are trying to take care of children. It was my experience that the benzo flu and the fatigue was from the drug itself combined with the withdrawal. When you finish your taper, I hope you will feel better in terms of those symptoms.

I was reading some of my old posts and it was just very hard. I am being just slammed again but I am hopeful things will simmer down soon.

 

It's hard though. Hang in there, Tina. You are a strong and brave woman and you are modeling that for your children every day.

 

LOVE,

Chrysanthemum

[[Kl...]]

Taking such small cuts but the flu feeling and fatigue is unrelenting. I hope the rest of you are doing better with these symptoms!!  It is tough feeling sick and exhausted day after day after day!!!!

 

((((Tina))))  I feel your pain.  I was sick in bed with dreadful awful, crushing fatigue, benzo-flu symptoms yesterday.  My experience of benzo flu is that it makes me feel really, really ill, but without a fever. 

 

I pray that you feel better and very, very soon!  Hugs, Klonkers

[[Ti...]]

Hi Chrys-thank you. I just wrote on one of your posts too. Was thinking of you today.

 

Klonkers-so sorry you are feeling the same way. This has been going on for 6 weeks for me now!  Ugh. I hope we get our energy back soon!!

 

Tina