Anyone else have HORRIBLE ocd during wd?

[[kl...]]

Hey buddies...

 

Mine actually started a few months before beginning my taper and was one of the reasons I chose to quit clon.  However as it was centered at the time mostly around objects and belongings, there was always an end to it where i would eventually let go and settle down.  I FINALLY had a doc acknowledge it could definitely be part of wd recently- but it's gotten SO bad over the last few weeks it feels like pure luck for me to let go at night.  The worst of it now centers on the obsession that I've never emptied my bladder enough so I keep getting up and night over and over and over...even when there's nothing there.  It's absolute agony.  I expect experienced people to chime in and say I've simply tapered too fast...but has anyone found any relief for this?  I FINALLY had a doc acknowledge that it's very likely benzo wd causing this but he was very firm in his belief that "K is an absolute BEAR" and I should focus first and foremost on quitting this poison.  I'm basically housebound at this point and don't believe I have the energy for CBT-  also as I'm already down to 3mg diazepam already I feel there's no hope of stabilizing in order to feel ok at this point.

[[Ja...]]

Are you taking any stimulants? This includes anything from ADD/ADHD medication, to work out supplements, thyroid meds, coffee or tea.

[[su...]]

Hello julian grant,

 

I did some research regarding the question of Fear/Obsessive Thoughts and what causes it when in benzo withdrawal and recovery.I put together some information that may be helpful.  As you can see, this is well documented and it is a part of the withdrawal and recovery process. As described in the book “Benzo-Wise” below, the last paragraph she shares her thoughts and suggestions on how to handle this symptom. I hope this is reassuring. I am the type of person who seeks to know what is happening and why, it brings comfort to me. I hope it does the same for you.

 

 

 

“The Ashton Manual” by Professor C. Heather Ashton, 2002

 

Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Symptoms:

 

Psychological Symptoms:

 

Obsessions: repetitive unwanted thoughts

 

“Obsessive traits may be temporarily increased during withdrawal and seem to reflect a mixture of anxiety and depression. These tend to settle spontaneously as anxiety levels decline.”

 

 

 

Mechanisms of withdrawal reactions.

 

“Drug withdrawal reactions in general tend to consist of mirror image of the drugs’ initial effects. In the case of benzodiazepines, sudden cessation after chronic use may result in tranquility being replaced by anxiety and panic. These reactions are caused by the abrupt exposure of adaptations that have occurred in the nervous system in response to the chronic presence of the drug. Rapid removal of the drug opens the floodgates, resulting in rebound over activity of all the systems which have been damped down by the benzodiazepine and are now no longer opposed. Nearly all the excitatory mechanisms in the nervous system go into overdrive and, until the new adaptations to the drug-free state develop, the brain and peripheral nervous system are in a hyper- excitable state, and extremely vulnerable to stress.”

 

 

 

 

Benzo-Wise, A Recovery Companion by V. Bliss Johns, 2010

 

Symptoms from A to Z

 

Obsessive thoughts: repetitive, unwanted thoughts

 

Repetitive/Obsessive thoughts: thoughts persist and interrupt cognition, can’t stop unwanted thoughts going over and over in mind

 

 

Obsessive, Unwanted Thoughts

 

Chapter 5 Managing Psychological Symptoms

 

“This can be the most distressing symptom for some, especially in cases where the thoughts are scary or repulsive. I am aware of individuals who were told they had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) only to later confirm that it was just a withdrawal symptom. The thoughts were withdrawal-induced, triggered by temporary neurological imbalances, and faded as recovery progressed.”

 

“Fighting the thoughts will not cause them to go away; attaching fear to the idea of having the thoughts or their content will intensify them. Accepting them as a symptom and acknowledging they are false is the first step.”

 

“If you are having obsessive thoughts, try not to give them too much energy. Don’t panic or even be surprised when they surface and don’t dwell on the content or the fact that it is happening. See if you are able to place them into the same category as you would a skin rash or any of the other physical symptoms.”

 

 

I hope this is helpful,

Summer

 

[[kl...]]

I haven't completely eliminated coffee, but I've been working on it.  I realize that caffeine of any kind is a bad idea during this but I've reduced it to one small cup ONLY when I get up, NEVER in the afternoon.  Could even a small cup 12-15 hours before bed really aggravate bedtime anxiety this bad?  Like I said I've been weening off it and hope to be done soon,  I'm just afraid if i cut it out entirely im going to lose any motivation whatsoever to get up in the morning and get a little exercise.

[[kl...]]

Thanks for the detailed response summer.  I really try not to attach fear to them and accept it as a symptom, but everything is such a vicious cycle at this point- the less functional I get, the more time i have to fear bedtime.  I try my best to distract, and for many months this worked,  but i am so stressed from insomnia (which i've given up on at this point-  nothing for the last 7 months has put a dent in it).  I guess I will just keep doing my best to work on acceptance. 

[[Lu...]]

Wow! This is kind of creepy it's so similar to me. I have OCD and its even worse right now. I'm also on 3 mg of diazepam and was on clonazepam 1.5-2 mg a day for about 3 years. I tapered down to .125 of clon starting 12/29/11 and c/o to diazepam about 1 1/2 weeks ago. My doc wouldn't do Ashton, but agreed to give me some diazepam to help at the end of the taper. Well, it's not working so well, like I feared. I don't feel stabilized and likely went too fast. I don't know what to do now. Diazepam is not nearly as potent as clonazepam. I am going to get a second opinion from another doc to try to help me. I do the same thing at night with the bathroom. I go back like 5 times before I fall asleep to make sure my bladder's empty. It's such a dumb compulsion but I feel like I can't go to bed without trying to pee a few more times. It's so stupid and I can't believe someone else actually does that too. I tell myself that the worst that will happen is I will have to wake up at night and go again but I still obsess about it. A lot of my past obsessions are coming back too and it sucks!! I'm at my wits end with all of this! Nice to know I'm not alone.

Lucy

[[su...]]

Hello julian grant,

 

Your welcome. I wanted to let you know that I am having insomnia as well. It does make all of the symptoms more challenging. I was up last night 1 AM until 7 a.m. I was having obsessive thoughts that were making resting not possible. I finally was able to get sleepy enough to get a little more rest.

 

Acceptance is something that comes and goes for me. I continue to work on ways to acceptance this and continue on my journey. I am not very functional either. I have been doing playful things to help me get through some intense symptoms. I have been watching comedies on Netflix and coloring in a coloring book etc.

 

Love to you,

 

Summer

[[kl...]]

I tell myself that the worst that will happen is I will have to wake up at night and go again but I still obsess about it.

 

Yes, exactly same words in my head every night.  I'm terribly sorry you have this too, but I feel a little relief that it isn't just me.

 

I feel confident time will heal most of it at least, the question is can I survive it in the meantime.  :sick:

[[no...]]

Hi. Wish I could offer something other than.me too! I look back and see I was always a bit obsessive. But I took klonopin for anxiety. I am 7 months off, and for me the obsessive thinking has taken off this past few weeks. I am not a checker, but a thinker. I tell myself things..what if this happens, you are going to be able to do... its constant. And worse than before benzos or while tapering.

I am trying to float over it, not feed into it. Its irrational.

After reading your posts, doesn't it sound like what we are experiencing is more withdrawal related than an uncovering of some underlying thing?

HOPE SO!

...don't think it has anything to do with coffee

[[Ja...]]

I haven't completely eliminated coffee, but I've been working on it.  I realize that caffeine of any kind is a bad idea during this but I've reduced it to one small cup ONLY when I get up, NEVER in the afternoon.  Could even a small cup 12-15 hours before bed really aggravate bedtime anxiety this bad?  Like I said I've been weening off it and hope to be done soon,  I'm just afraid if i cut it out entirely im going to lose any motivation whatsoever to get up in the morning and get a little exercise.

 

It is really simple to find out, try without it one day and see if there is a difference. I know a cup of coffee can mess me up bad, mainly when it starts to wear off. Also, some people have an intense reaction to things like B vitamins, CoQ10, etc. So if you are taking supplements, you may want to do an elimination type of a test and see if that helps.