5 1/2 months off. Windows every 4-5 or 2-3 days now.. good sign?

[[pa...]]

I just wrote another buddy who is way further than me, because ever since I hit 5 months off, I have been experiencing my first experiences with full-on windows of NO cog fog or DR every 4-5 or every 2-3 days. It's like my brain is stuttering off and on.  MOSTLY off LOL- but then, I've been following on the calendar and the fog lifted for the very first time at 5 months off -and then was gone - and then 5 days later it lifted agan - and then a few hours later, gone - and off and on like this. Mostly, I'm still in the fog -but occasionally now, and a lot more often, it's lifting almost completely or completely.

 

Did this happen for anyone else as a sign of healing?  When did it occur? Did good times follow?  So curious if this is a good sign. God - I hope so.

 

:)Parker

[[...]]

parker, for the past 2 months or so both my visual DR and my brain fog have been sputtering.  In fact, they're now gone 95% of the time...whenever I get DR now it's just for a few hours before going to bed maybe a couple of times a week...I had brain fog yesterday after not having it at all for about a month, but I'm sure it came back briefly because yesterday I had a visit from Aunt Flo.

 

I did notice however that once DR and brain fog started leaving me, anger/agitation/intrusives went up in magnitude...I am not sure if this is a different phase of withdrawal or simply that I have fewer symptoms now and my brain can concentrate more on the remaining ones...also, brain fog I think kind of protected me since it made me slow thinking and probably slowed down the intrusives...since it's gone, the intrusives are unrelenting 24/7 (even in my dreams )

 

I truly, truly hope this is a sign of healing!

[[so...]]

I hit 6 months off in 4 days and can say that I have experienced similar things that began about 2 weeks ago.  Instantly I would feel normal and ready to take on the world.  I was happy, hungry, no w/d symps at all...it was awesome.  Then as quickly as it came on that window would slam shut.  I might go a half day then feel like crud a few days, then feel great a few hours and so on.  The w/d symps would lift at different times of the day and I could never get a handle on what might be causing them. I always try to over-evaluate things thinking "I just ate an apple...maybe apples are the answer."  SO I would eat two apples and a few hours later feel like I was in the 7th circle of hell.

 

I can say that I am having the "sputtering" effect you describe on a regualy basis no.  Before the 5 month mark I just felt horrible all the time.  Best of luck to you and whishing you a speedy healing.

[[Ho...]]

I just hit 5 months a couple of days ago and I've noticed the same thing Parker. Like you say, it's still mostly sxs but out of nowhere comes this relief which I can never tell how long it will last. Sometimes it's a day or just a few hours.

 

Soonerdean...Man do you ever sound like me. I had to read your post to my wife so she could see that there are people out there that are going through the exact same things as me. On Thursday I felt completely normal and started doing a couple of tough projects just as if all of this crap had never happened, by Friday I was a basket case. And the apple thing, wow!!! You must be my clone.

[[pr...]]

This on and off "sputtering" thing (good word for it) seems to be a normal aspect of recovery and yes, it's a good sign of healing. 

 

Don't be discouraged if you have an intermittent longer spell of symptoms from time to time.  This kind of roller coaster thing is typical of benzo healing and recovery. 

 

The on and off will continue but over time the good times will get more frequent and long and the bad times will be less frequent and shorter until gradually you find you're feeling back to normal.

[[Ho...]]

I hope you're right prhiannon...

 

[[ma...]]

I am only 2 1/2 months off w/ very rare hr only windows, so am heartened to hear they increase!

Thanks for your posts, & yes, I am in the "apple" thing too, trying to figure what might have

helped bring a window on! The weirdest one for me was when I got window after eating some "nutritional yeast"

on popcorn! When window started fading i started eating the toasted yeast w/ a spoon! No go.

 

Hard not to want to try & find some logic/sense, cause & effect to this roller ride.

Good luck to all you 5 mo & overs & thanks for your posts

 

margaretisabel

[[Ho...]]

You're sure right there margaretisabel...I've given up on logic and sense with this thing. The only thing I watch for now are things that seem to rev up my symptoms, like B vitamins and caffeine.

 

Bill