Anyone relate to such a mess?

[[Bi...]]

I really do not know how to describe some of these symptoms accurately, but I will try.

I went to the doc today for a checkup on my stomach. I got in the office and I was a mess! Everything looked flat outside, and I assume this is d/r? I have had d/r since July, and it takes on different forms. I had it before any Benzos when my anxiety riled up. I felt like there was a hole or something in my stomach while sitting in the doc's office, my throat felt like a lump was in it. The ceiling looked low, Perceptual distortion? I am not sure.

It's hard to explain some of this.

Also, a s/x of feeling a disconnect from people and places at times. Thoughts looping in my mind, memory floods while on the Benzo days, not Pre-Benzo. It just keeps going, and usually about one particular person.

I also have this pain in my back, adrenaline I am guessing? It stems from the bottom of my back.

Amplified Emotions, fear, doom feelings, dread, catastrophic thinking? It's all very scary to me.

 

Thanks, as I need to know, will I feel like this forever? If anyone has any of these symptoms, please reply.

 

Billy.

 

PS- OCD s/x's, too??

 

[[WT...]]

Billy, I have had, or still have most of the strange DR symptoms you describe.  You are the only other person I can recall who seems to talk about changes in DR to the degree I experience -- I experience daily changes in my DR.  I have looping thoughts of benzo days as well, and the doom and read. 

[[...]]

Billy I am sorry you are going through this.  I stopped valium the end of Oct.  I am off for 5 months now.  I was having similar symptoms with DP/DR and agoraphobia and anxiety at two months off.

What I can say, is that the more time passes, the symptoms have decreased.  I honestly believe that these symptoms you are having will decrease over time.  Some may go away entirely very soon.  You will probably start having periods of time where you feel normal again.  That is what I have experienced so it gives me hope that this BS won't last forever.  Hang on Billy, It will get better!

XO Skyy

[[Bi...]]

I will add some of my Physical s/x's-

Teeth felt tight

Stomach feels raw, bloated, swirly feeling.

Back burns.

Headache feelings, but not a headache (Hard to put into words)

Eyes blurry

Feels like swaying while walking

feels like bed is swaying under me

Sea legs

Temperature fluctuations

There are more, as these are just a few.

 

When the mental and physical swing together, this throws me against a wall.

[[Bi...]]

Billy, I have had, or still have most of the strange DR symptoms you describe.  You are the only other person I can recall who seems to talk about changes in DR to the degree I experience -- I experience daily changes in my DR.  I have looping thoughts of benzo days as well, and the doom and read.

 

The d/r and d/p brings me to my knees, if it gets bad enough. I'm already at my mind's mercy at times, slipping down a tunnel.. it's greased! Paranoid thoughts and sit and stare, laughing at times for no particular reason. No reasoning to it, whatsoever............ If this isn't self discipline, I don't know what is! Complete burnout! I was doing better, but today slung me back to last year in this mess, during tapering days.

 

The looping thoughts are anything but rational. I'll be glad when this is so over! It gets old fast and quick. I would say more like complete tiring and wearing.

 

Let's hope it gets better! In a window, this stuff is gone, but then there it is again and all amplified.

 

 

[[Bi...]]

Billy I am sorry you are going through this.  I stopped valium the end of Oct.  I am off for 5 months now.  I was having similar symptoms with DP/DR and agoraphobia and anxiety at two months off.

What I can say, is that the more time passes, the symptoms have decreased.  I honestly believe that these symptoms you are having will decrease over time.  Some may go away entirely very soon.  You will probably start having periods of time where you feel normal again.  That is what I have experienced so it gives me hope that this BS won't last forever.  Hang on Billy, It will get better!

XO Skyy

 

I, too, have the agoraphobia. I can get out, but I get overheated. I just wish a few s/x's would go away. The fear and d/r has been going on forever it seems.

 

 

 

[[Bi...]]

Sorry to be so whiny and complain, but this is ridiculous! It goes on and on and on and it never seems to stop. I'm in a bubble sometimes here, and it's crazy!

 

When I get out and try to have a life and do the things I enjoy, the withdrawal puts me right back in bed! I get stimulated and paranoid, almost delusional at times!!! It just never stops!

 

I'll stop complaining.

 

 

[[...]]

What has helped me the most is to stay busy and distracted.

I get out when I can, but I always give myself permission to hide out at home when I need to.  No guilt, no shame because that is pointless.  I know it will get better, but when the days are bad, I hang out where I feel comfortable and safe and do things to treat myself well.  I come here a lot when I am having bad days.  This is the hardest thing to do, but all of us are very brave.  We all need a little help from our friends at BB, so don't worry about complaining!

Skyy

[[Bi...]]

What has helped me the most is to stay busy and distracted.

I get out when I can, but I always give myself permission to hide out at home when I need to.  No guilt, no shame because that is pointless.  I know it will get better, but when the days are bad, I hang out where I feel comfortable and safe and do things to treat myself well.  I come here a lot when I am having bad days.  This is the hardest thing to do, but all of us are very brave.  We all need a little help from our friends at BB, so don't worry about complaining!

Skyy

 

Skyy,

 

I keep myself distracted constantly, but then the withdrawal says, "I don't know why you do that for?" The OCD thoughts, and everything that goes with that.

I mean, that is just the withdrawal talking, correct?

 

I was on Klonopin 6 years and Valium 2 years.

 

Billy.

[[...]]

Withdrawal symptoms and OCD symptoms can be similar.  Did you have the OCD stuff before benzos?

I had some mild phobias before, but never the anxiety or agoraphobia before the benzos.  I had been off and on benzos for five years as well.

[[Bi...]]

Withdrawal symptoms and OCD symptoms can be similar.  Did you have the OCD stuff before benzos?

I had some mild phobias before, but never the anxiety or agoraphobia before the benzos.  I had been off and on benzos for five years as well.

 

I did obsess about things, yes, but - not to this degree. The w/d amplifies it or something 'cause this is not the way I use to think.

[[...]]

Yes it does amplify stuff, and from what I have seen posted, you should return to your previous state as you heal.

[[re...]]

What you are going through sounds very typical for benzo wd. Sorry to say.

Hope brighter days are head for you soon.

You did a great job getting off. Hang in there. Your brain will heal.

 

Keep us posted and reach out if it gets  bumpy.

 

 

[[jr...]]

Dear Billy,

 

I also saw a doctor today, for shoulder pain.  I really can't put into words how I felt, but I sat there for several minutes while waiting for the doctor, and I was reading a sign encouraging people to get flu shots over and over again.  It just seems to take so long for me to comprehend things when I am in a strange environment.  I then went to the grocery store and just kind of wandered around, not remembering what I needed, and bought things I didn't need.  I do things like that all the time.  I have shopped at that same store for years, but it seems so unfamiliar now.  It is all so strange.  We'll survive this and recover!

 

Love,

 

Jenn

[[Sc...]]

I will add some of my Physical s/x's-

Teeth felt tight

Stomach feels raw, bloated, swirly feeling.

Back burns.

Headache feelings, but not a headache (Hard to put into words)

Eyes blurry

Feels like swaying while walking

feels like bed is swaying under me

Sea legs

Temperature fluctuations

There are more, as these are just a few.

 

When the mental and physical swing together, this throws me against a wall.

 

Hi Billy,

 

These are ALL physical s/x experienced when I was at where you are now.  I still get a lump in my throat sensation most days and I have a load of stomach issues that I hope resolve sooner than later...but many of these feelings subsiding or gone.  Hang in there.  The obsessive thinking is still there for me as well, but I have been fortunate to not get it as strongly as others.  For me, it's fears of never healing (I don't think this all the time), or fear of getting sick (a fear I've had since being on benzos).  I know this is going to pass for you...it does get better and I know from my own experience, I had a difficult time the first few months off of benzos b/c I felt like I was getting hit with everything I ever had during taper, plus some new things.  But many have passed now.

 

Thinking of you...all the best and big hugs sent your way.

Schatje

[[Bi...]]

What you are going through sounds very typical for benzo wd. Sorry to say.

Hope brighter days are head for you soon.

You did a great job getting off. Hang in there. Your brain will heal.

 

Keep us posted and reach out if it gets  bumpy.

 

No, that brings me relief that it is just withdrawal. These s/x's are rotten.

 

Hang in there, and keep in touch.

 

Billy.

[[Bi...]]

Dear Billy,

 

I also saw a doctor today, for shoulder pain.  I really can't put into words how I felt, but I sat there for several minutes while waiting for the doctor, and I was reading a sign encouraging people to get flu shots over and over again.  It just seems to take so long for me to comprehend things when I am in a strange environment.  I then went to the grocery store and just kind of wandered around, not remembering what I needed, and bought things I didn't need.  I do things like that all the time.  I have shopped at that same store for years, but it seems so unfamiliar now.  It is all so strange.  We'll survive this and recover!

 

Love,

 

Jenn

 

Jenn,

 

Same here, places I have been seem unfamiliar sometimes to me, and I go to these places for years. I have bought many things in this process I didn't need. Well, at that time.

I think it's d/r, the feeling strange in places, it's as if you can't connect with ppl around? Is that what you're saying?

 

Billy.

[[Bi...]]

I will add some of my Physical s/x's-

Teeth felt tight

Stomach feels raw, bloated, swirly feeling.

Back burns.

Headache feelings, but not a headache (Hard to put into words)

Eyes blurry

Feels like swaying while walking

feels like bed is swaying under me

Sea legs

Temperature fluctuations

There are more, as these are just a few.

 

When the mental and physical swing together, this throws me against a wall.

 

Hi Billy,

 

These are ALL physical s/x experienced when I was at where you are now.  I still get a lump in my throat sensation most days and I have a load of stomach issues that I hope resolve sooner than later...but many of these feelings subsiding or gone.  Hang in there.  The obsessive thinking is still there for me as well, but I have been fortunate to not get it as strongly as others.  For me, it's fears of never healing (I don't think this all the time), or fear of getting sick (a fear I've had since being on benzos).  I know this is going to pass for you...it does get better and I know from my own experience, I had a difficult time the first few months off of benzos b/c I felt like I was getting hit with everything I ever had during taper, plus some new things.  But many have passed now.

 

Thinking of you...all the best and big hugs sent your way.

Schatje

 

Schatje,

 

I have the fear of never healing, too.

 

May I ask what kinds of things you eat that are better for you? I have been eating things I know amp my stomach up. The stomach pains are horrible, and I just lay in bed until they pass. I, too have the growling, and other sounds in my stomach.

 

It is good to know that some of these s/x's have left for you.

 

Billy.

[[Ga...]]

((((Billy)))

I went thru this too. One day it just went away.

I still have trouble walking I did make it quite far one night but had to come back home.

The first time I went for a walk it was like nothing looked right. And I have walked that road

for yrs!

If it went away for me, it will go away for you, it just takes times. But I know, sometimes it is

like a bad acid trip, I can only imagine Ive never done illegal drugs! (((hugs)))

 

[[Co...]]

Dear Billy, Im sorry you are experiencing so many sx at once...I did also...its frightening and overwhelming I know...I had lots of perceptual difficulties, lots of fears and irrational intrusive thoughts...these are wd sx and are not permanent...all of my mental stuff except for some anxiety has long since gone. I know your sx will leave too. Its hard to believe me now but you will heal. I think you are doing great...no you arent complaining...you have been helping on the forum a long time...its time for us to support you now. Im so proud of you. Love, Colleen

[[An...]]

Billy

 

I 100% promise you all this will go in time.  You are still very early off.

 

You've been so brave and patient all this time and so very kind to everyone else.  Hang in there .... the only way through this hell is through but I promise you everything will seem normal again in time .... it may take a few months longer though.

 

Much love

Angel

[[jr...]]

Dear Billy,

 

I also saw a doctor today, for shoulder pain.  I really can't put into words how I felt, but I sat there for several minutes while waiting for the doctor, and I was reading a sign encouraging people to get flu shots over and over again.  It just seems to take so long for me to comprehend things when I am in a strange environment.  I then went to the grocery store and just kind of wandered around, not remembering what I needed, and bought things I didn't need.  I do things like that all the time.  I have shopped at that same store for years, but it seems so unfamiliar now.  It is all so strange.  We'll survive this and recover!

 

Love,

 

Jenn

 

Jenn,

 

Same here, places I have been seem unfamiliar sometimes to me, and I go to these places for years. I have bought many things in this process I didn't need. Well, at that time.

I think it's d/r, the feeling strange in places, it's as if you can't connect with ppl around? Is that what you're saying?

 

Billy.

 

Dear Billy,

 

Yes, it is as though I am going through the motions of connecting with people and places.  I feel like I have to think about acting normally.  It is so strange.  Even my own house seems unfamiliar.  I have to think out everything I do, like simply loading the dishwasher.  Sometimes I will stand there with a dirty dish in my hand and try to figure out what I was doing with it!  I think this is what Alzheimer's must feel like.  Losing your keys is normal, but not knowing what the keys are for is Alzheimer's!  I hope my brain comes back some day:)

 

LOve,

 

Jenn

[[Bi...]]

Thanks everyone. 

 

I'm sorry to ramble on and so on...

 

This pain is pretty bad tonight. Muscle burning and tightness. I had flashing lights earlier in my vision, this scares me. I will be glad when the acute hideous shit passes.

 

Billy.

[[Bi...]]

Dear Billy,

 

I also saw a doctor today, for shoulder pain.  I really can't put into words how I felt, but I sat there for several minutes while waiting for the doctor, and I was reading a sign encouraging people to get flu shots over and over again.  It just seems to take so long for me to comprehend things when I am in a strange environment.  I then went to the grocery store and just kind of wandered around, not remembering what I needed, and bought things I didn't need.  I do things like that all the time.  I have shopped at that same store for years, but it seems so unfamiliar now.  It is all so strange.  We'll survive this and recover!

 

Love,

 

Jenn

 

Jenn,

 

Same here, places I have been seem unfamiliar sometimes to me, and I go to these places for years. I have bought many things in this process I didn't need. Well, at that time.

I think it's d/r, the feeling strange in places, it's as if you can't connect with ppl around? Is that what you're saying?

 

Billy.

 

Dear Billy,

 

Yes, it is as though I am going through the motions of connecting with people and places.  I feel like I have to think about acting normally.  It is so strange.  Even my own house seems unfamiliar.  I have to think out everything I do, like simply loading the dishwasher.  Sometimes I will stand there with a dirty dish in my hand and try to figure out what I was doing with it!  I think this is what Alzheimer's must feel like.  Losing your keys is normal, but not knowing what the keys are for is Alzheimer's!  I hope my brain comes back some day:)

 

LOve,

 

Jenn

 

Yes, all very familiar.

 

I was standing outside one day, thinking, "Huh? Why am I out here?" I don't know, I think it's the d/r. You are having the d/r, too?

Do you ever get this, it's like in your vision, radiation coming off the road, or looking at things swaying? It scares me.

 

Billy.

[[Bi...]]

((((Billy)))

I went thru this too. One day it just went away.

I still have trouble walking I did make it quite far one night but had to come back home.

The first time I went for a walk it was like nothing looked right. And I have walked that road

for yrs!

If it went away for me, it will go away for you, it just takes times. But I know, sometimes it is

like a bad acid trip, I can only imagine Ive never done illegal drugs! (((hugs)))

 

Hi Gardenia,

 

Yes, it's like being in a trip or something. I have done my fair share of drugs, and this I would say is like being very very stoned, only it lasts days and days, not a few hours.

 

Billy.