need Input at 18 months out

[[km...]]

Ok I am 18 months post benzo but only 3 months post anti depressant taper.  I seem to be getting worse instead of better could it be because of the anti-depressant taper and being free of all meds???

 

I know the AShton Manual says recovery comes 6 months to a year after ALL medications are stopped do you think this will be the case for me?  I feel more crazy now than I did after I tapered the benzo.

 

Just need lots of encouragement.....it's so bad I was tempted to pop a benzo after taking a round of antibiotics last week.  I was starting to feel better before the antibiotic now I'm back to crazy. 

 

Help!!!

Hugs

Kristin

[[el...]]

Hi Kristin -

 

I am a little over 19 months off the benzos. I took Remeron for two years while going through this w/d and discontinued it about three months ago. My sleep (and a few other things) have gotten worse, but I am certain that it is just temporary. In the last couple weeks, those things seem to be improving very slowly. I am confident that you will also improve. It just takes time for the nervous system to readjust. Hang in there. It will get better.

 

eli

[[km...]]

Eli,

I just feel like I'm losing this battle and it scares me because I've worked so hard to get off the junk.  I just feel like I"m sliding backwards and I'm not sure how to go forward again. My mind just keeps spinning with the "what ifs" and I can't get it to stop.  Is your's just sleep or do you have any mental symptoms???

Hugs

 

[[Ho...]]

Kristen - just wanted to agree with Eli - I think it is just temporary.  If you were on an antibiotic, I am sure that has effected you.....and caused your sx to flare.  Give your body/brain a chance to recuperate from the flare-up....you are healing and will continue to do so.  I am still having sx but we have to KNOW we will get better....don't give up and don't take a benzo just to get relief.  I have been there too - just get through it day by day.

Love Hoping

[[km...]]

Hi Hoping thanks for the support it has been a grueling 2 weeks.  I think I'm overdoing things in life as well and that's not helping.  My mom keeps telling me I'm pushing myself to hard especially after the antibiotic episode.  I also found out I have skin cancer (not terminal thank God) and I don't have the nerve enough to get it take off just yet.  I think it's a mixture of things and hopefully it will settle down soon. 

 

I haven't heard from you lately how are you doing???

Hugs

 

[[el...]]

You definitely are winning the battle. You are 18 months off - that’s huge. Since getting off the Remeron, I have had an increase in various s/x. Heart palpitations in the past few weeks have been off the charts, and there are a few other physical things. I just forge ahead in spite of those. Mentally, my mind kind of “runs to and fro” constantly and needs something to do at all times or else it will dwell on my current state and run through the “what ifs.“ (I’m sure you know the routine.)

 

The depression lifted about six months ago and did not return when I dropped the Remeron. That has made all the rest of this much more bearable - even the ramping up of the “running” thoughts.

 

I know that all these s/x will end - in time. You are continuing to heal even though right now it doesn’t feel like it and your brain is making you doubt it.

 

Hang on. It will get much better. You’ve come a very long way.

 

eli

[[of...]]

Hi Kristen,  amazing work,  congrats on being free of benzos and antidepressents. 

 

It will get better,  antidepressents are very powerful and it will take sometime for your brain to work out all the stuff it needs to.

 

It always amazes me when people are able to drop the benzos and forge ahead and get off A/D's, it cannot be easy.

 

Rest as much as you can and take good care of yourself.  YOu are healing, 

 

Again, take good care of yourself,  love to you zoe

[[ve...]]

Hi Kmarie.  First, congrats on making it to 18 months .  Also, winter can be a difficult time for blues.  It sounds like you finished tapering your a/d just before winter which is not the most adviseable thing if you've had a history of blues, particularly during winter when it's perhaps more common to get down a bit.  I have been off valium just over 2 years and this past winter presented some blues now and again, just as last winter.  Are you getting enough sunshine?  That can also help, ten to fifteen minutes a day without sunblock (not sure if it's a great idea based on the carcinoma but if you get a little bit of sun during non peak hours so not between 12-3, earlier or later might be ok if its not the hottest part of the day).

 

Some on my post benzo thread have been writing about the benefits of vitamin D and the importance of daily time outdoors.  Dr. Weil (holistic doc) in one of his books also writes about it.  Yes, you can take a supplement of vitamin D too, but some write that some sun is needed (preferably without sunblock).  If your skin cancer thing is on your face, you might wish to wait until you have that removed and wait some period of time before getting in the sun, check with your dermatologist.

 

As for the occasional blues and also some sleep issues,  I decided to try a supplemental amino acid, which is a precursor to serotonin.  It's called L-Tryptophan.  Got the idea from the book "The Mood Cure" which Mtmimi, a fellow buddy mentioned on my "post benzo freedom withdrawal support" thread last month.  Anyway, have a look at the book if you have a chance.  There are some amino acids that can replace some of the deficiencies that an a/d might have been filling for you, at least it's possible.  There is no need to go back on a benzo!  The author writes about replacing an a/d with some amino acids.  In my case, I had not been on an a/d, but felt like I might be deficient in one or two areas.  I tried Tyrosine but it didn't agree with me, but the L-Tryptophan seems to have helped.

 

Also, I had a basal carcinoma a few years back, might have been during my taper year, bit of a scare, but it turned out to not be painful to have removed at all.  Best to not wait too long!  I still try to get some sunshine despite this and have had no relapses.  Remember, it's not for all day, just 10-15 minutes without sunblock during the least hot time of day.

 

Also, have you tried melatonin?  What helps me with sleep lately is 500mg L-Tryptophan after dinner and 1 or 2mg melatonin before bed.  Some take the L-Tryptophan before bed rather than after dinner.  Check with your doctor.  All these things have been discussed lately on the "post benzo withdrawal support" thread so feel free to join in.

 

Hope you feel more chipper soon,

 

Vertigo

[[km...]]

Thanks everyone I appreciate the responses.  I just have to find some extra willpower to get thru this.  The antibiotic has set me back some.

Hugs

Kristin