fighting here

[[no...]]

At 7 months. Onset of really intense fear/thoughts of what if I can't stand it, have to leave work, cannot get myself to come back tomorrow....Its soo intense right now, and I am trying to work, but.

Having the is this me now thoughts. How can this be withdrawal if I have not been so freaked out before now about being here at work? This past two weeks have been soooo bad, and its really got me doubting whether this is w/d.

I am just sooo tired of fighting through fear.

[[...]]

I think for the first year or two off, it's safe to say it's all withdrawal   So sorry you're going through this...I have pretty bad fears myself to the point that I've only been out of the house a handful of times in the past 5 months...I'm trying to overcome them, but it's not easy...right now it's more a fear of myself losing control or having a panic attack in public what scares me the most

 

You are doing great--working through this.  You have my admiration...and again, it's NOT YOU, it's the w/d!

[[Ga...]]

I think for the first year or two off, it's safe to say it's all withdrawal   So sorry you're going through this...I have pretty bad fears myself to the point that I've only been out of the house a handful of times in the past 5 months...I'm trying to overcome them, but it's not easy...right now it's more a fear of myself losing control or having a panic attack in public what scares me the most

 

You are doing great--working through this.  You have my admiration...and again, it's NOT YOU, it's the w/d!

 

That is how I am. It hasnt happened but I have a fear of panicking in public:(

 

NorthofHere, you are amazing to be so brave to go to work!

[[re...]]

Susan

its wd. Plain and simple. I am 8.5 months out and still thinking about death 24/7. I did NOT have this pre benzos.

OUr brains are "wonky" as Whoopsie says. 

 

You are going to heal and be able to have more rational thoughts.

If you can tell yourself these are just the misfirings of a healing brain, perhaps you can cope with them better?

You are doing really well. I know its tough. Hang in there. It will lift one day.

 

[[no...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

[[ra...]]

I been going thru the same thing it fills like I'm going to loose it all the time, but I never do the thoughts hit me for a while then they leave it's exhausting  one day I will probly loose it. Maybe that's what we need.  I hope this is not the new me I think this is all withdrwal for us.

 

[[re...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

 

Yes. Bliss said that she was not an anxious person pre benzo. If you listen to her talk you get that feeling. But in wd she had very strange thoughts and paranoia. They lasted a while. As long as you are having body sx, why would you assume your brain is healed and your thoughts are normal?

 

I dont think we can assess who we are until we are healed. That takes time, and often it is longer than the 6-18 months we hear about.

 

You are doing great! I was a mess still at 6-7 months off. Still FAR from healed but the intensity of the fears has gone down some.

Yours will too. Accept that this is you in wd but KNOW in your heart you will be more functional and less fearful than this in time.

 

[[pr...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

 

Yes--actually it's not unusual for people to be hit with a bad wave at around 6 months out.

 

If you have new or additional stress in your life, or have made any changes to your diet or routine in any other way, that might be something you can adjust that might help smooth things out.

 

I agree that for the first couple of years, you can assume that anything like this is probably withdrawal.  You can get checked out with a doctor if you're concerned, but usually people find that it's withdrawal/recovery.  It does get better!!!

[[WT...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

 

Yes. Bliss said that she was not an anxious person pre benzo. If you listen to her talk you get that feeling. But in wd she had very strange thoughts and paranoia. They lasted a while. As long as you are having body sx, why would you assume your brain is healed and your thoughts are normal?

 

I dont think we can assess who we are until we are healed. That takes time, and often it is longer than the 6-18 months we hear about.

 

You are doing great! I was a mess still at 6-7 months off. Still FAR from healed but the intensity of the fears has gone down some.

Yours will too. Accept that this is you in wd but KNOW in your heart you will be more functional and less fearful than this in time.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, Recovering, but didn't Bliss have organic fear all the way up until 21 months?

[[...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

Definitely!  For most people they start with let's say 30 symptoms and the number of symptoms slowly go down in number.  But for others, new symptoms appear later on...strange, but I've heard it so many times   I'm soooo afraid about what may be waiting for me around the corner...I hope it's a door and not new symptoms...

[[WT...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

Definitely!  For most people they start with let's say 30 symptoms and the number of symptoms slowly go down in number.  But for others, new symptoms appear later on...strange, but I've heard it so many times   I'm soooo afraid about what may be waiting for me around the corner...I hope it's a door and not new symptoms...

 

I don't think it's even possible for me to get any more psychological symptoms, as I have them "all" already. lol  However, I do see new physical symptoms pop up here and there.

[[...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

Definitely!  For most people they start with let's say 30 symptoms and the number of symptoms slowly go down in number.  But for others, new symptoms appear later on...strange, but I've heard it so many times   I'm soooo afraid about what may be waiting for me around the corner...I hope it's a door and not new symptoms...

 

I don't think it's even possible for me to get any more psychological symptoms, as I have them "all" already. lol  However, I do see new physical symptoms pop up here and there.

 

Same here!  I've had all the psychological ones for sure...I too get physical ones pop up every now and then, but they are minor and/or short-lasting: seeing sparkles, floaters, grinding teeth, body jerks, headaches, zaps, feelings of bugs crawling through skin, etc.  I can deal with all of those I just listed on an infrequent basis, but the psychological stuff is the worst!!!!!!

[[cn...]]

Why wouldnt it be possible you are still having w/d issues? You see people on here all the time 8 and 9+ months out still having flare ups and trouble.

 

For instance WTBNA only took a benzo for 2 months, and she's far out and still suffering. You took a benzo for a couple years or so.

 

Hang in there. It'll get better. And if it doesnt, maybe seek a therapist. I thought I read something on the Ashton Manual saying if you are still having bad anxiety 6+ months out, you could have an anxiety disorder, and should consider therapy etc.... now I don't know if that's for people who had anxiety before benzos...

 

Like me, I started ativan B/C of ANXIETY.

 

So I'm waiting 6 months and more... probably even a year. But after a year, if I'm still having anxiety issue flare ups, I'm gonna say I have anxiety and I'll deal with it with therapy... and if it ever get's life deliberating, I will consider medication for it, but not ever a benzo. Life is too short to suffer totally.

 

Bipolar is a real issue, and they take meds for it. Same with schizophrenia.

 

Just try to breath and relax. Try not to ruminate it. Your thoughts are your feelings. You think it's possible you are just caught up in an anxiety funk? Your feelings and sensations cause you to THINK you will be like this forever? Therefor causing more anxiety and sensations? It creates a cycle in itself. You can't stop obsessing about it.

 

Regardless if it's w/d or just anxiety, it will pass. But if you feel you need a little help from some talk therapy, I'd recommend it. Hang in there.

[[re...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

Definitely!  For most people they start with let's say 30 symptoms and the number of symptoms slowly go down in number.  But for others, new symptoms appear later on...strange, but I've heard it so many times   I'm soooo afraid about what may be waiting for me around the corner...I hope it's a door and not new symptoms...

 

I don't think it's even possible for me to get any more psychological symptoms, as I have them "all" already. lol  However, I do see new physical symptoms pop up here and there.

 

Same here!  I've had all the psychological ones for sure...I too get physical ones pop up every now and then, but they are minor and/or short-lasting: seeing sparkles, floaters, grinding teeth, body jerks, headaches, zaps, feelings of bugs crawling through skin, etc.  I can deal with all of those I just listed on an infrequent basis, but the psychological stuff is the worst!!!!!!

 

 

AMEN to that. I am struggling with it the past few days. I finally got over the dark depression only to be hit with very scary thoughts on top of my "normal" death obsession. Sigh. This is brutal. Just brutal.

[[Be...]]

Sorry to be dense....but---even if it comes on here at 7 months and not so much before it can still be w/d you think?

 

Hi, North.

 

I think we stay especially vulnerable to stressors for some time after we quit and it doesn't take a lot to bring back the skewed thinking and other symptoms. Can you think of any extra stressors from a few weeks back?  Sometimes just some missed sleep would do it for me, or being at a get together with friends that I tolerated fine the last time but not this time. I also got some weird physical symptoms out of the blue weeks after I thought I was done with all that.  It's easy to get sucked into fearful thinking and pretty soon, you've got a full-blown panic coming on.  Some of the most common fears is that you won't heal/are permanently damaged and/or are going to lose it.

 

Are there some particular symptoms (other than the obsessive fearful thoughts) that are giving you a lot of trouble?  Maybe some of us can help you with them and that, in turn, will help you lower your anxiety.  Or maybe just being reassured that you are still healing will help.  Hope so. 

 

[[re...]]

Why wouldnt it be possible you are still having w/d issues? You see people on here all the time 8 and 9+ months out still having flare ups and trouble.

 

For instance WTBNA only took a benzo for 2 months, and she's far out and still suffering. You took a benzo for a couple years or so.

 

Hang in there. It'll get better. And if it doesnt, maybe seek a therapist. I thought I read something on the Ashton Manual saying if you are still having bad anxiety 6+ months out, you could have an anxiety disorder, and should consider therapy etc.... now I don't know if that's for people who had anxiety before benzos...

 

Like me, I started ativan B/C of ANXIETY.

 

So I'm waiting 6 months and more... probably even a year. But after a year, if I'm still having anxiety issue flare ups, I'm gonna say I have anxiety and I'll deal with it with therapy... and if it ever get's life deliberating, I will consider medication for it, but not ever a benzo. Life is too short to suffer totally.

 

Bipolar is a real issue, and they take meds for it. Same with schizophrenia.

 

Just try to breath and relax. Try not to ruminate it. Your thoughts are your feelings. You think it's possible you are just caught up in an anxiety funk? Your feelings and sensations cause you to THINK you will be like this forever? Therefor causing more anxiety and sensations? It creates a cycle in itself. You can't stop obsessing about it.

 

Regardless if it's w/d or just anxiety, it will pass. But if you feel you need a little help from some talk therapy, I'd recommend it. Hang in there.

 

Reggie Peart was put on a benzo for vertigo, not anxiety. He said it took two years for the anxiety to get better. He had a horrific wd story.

If receptors take 18 months plus to heal, its hard to say at 6 months out you can know if you have an anxiety disorder or not. I am going to wait until my body has no more sx before I make any conclusions about my old anxiety or not. I am scared its creeping in, but... I also know I have had a horrific wd.

 

 

[[no...]]

YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!! I haven't said it enough.

Talk therapy- have been going for a long time.

Stressors-I always crater during breaks from work/school, maybe the wave now is due to transitioning from one routine to next.

Other issues- pretty much everything revolves around fearful thinking, which causes anxiety, more fear like Cnotr said.

recovering- You are right about thinking that if you have other symptoms, it only stands to reason that the whole package of what you are experiencing is w/d induced.

Perhaps your death thought is like my fear thought. I think I said that before. Pre-benzo I was still obsessive, but about other dumb things. not in an ocd ritual checking way, just alot of thinking about anxiety and fear related what if. Now it is ridiculous.

But being able to get it out here with people who get it helps.

Alot.

 

[[no...]]

Recovering- saw you just posted. Of course. That makes sense for both of us. Why would we be the exceptions to the rule? We have seen all the posts of others who have gone before, and stories like Bliss, and Reggie, and matt samet...why would we suppose we are the two who are different..i.e. will not heal, are forever doomed?

On the other hand...when its dark...sometimes its still hard to not be convinced there are monsters under the bed.

Exhausting is right