Is 5-6 months off the worse?

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I was wondering if it was the collective wisdom that things were the worse at 5-6 months off...I'm really closer to 5 1/2 months off than 3 1/2 months off (don't pay attention to my siggy--I tapered down from a 5% dose to 0 over 2 months and I don't think the 5% was doing much).

 

Things have gotten worse for me in the past few weeks (partly due to my period) and it feels worse than ever...I don't see the light at the end of this very long tunnel and I keep thinking about giving up...My last semi-window lasted just a few hours and it was on Feb 1st. Since then, things have gotten progressively worse (although a few symptoms have almost completely disappeared: DR, brain fog, long-term memory; fear is also going down, but my worst symptoms are worse than ever: agitation bordering on akathisia, rage, anhedonia, intrusive thoughts).  I feel so hopeless...Please tell me there's some healing behind this 5-6 month wave...

[[Sc...]]

It's so different for everyone, but based on my own experience, months 5-6 were the worst.  I felt like I was getting slammed w/ every s/x I'd ever had on rotation.  There was never a break.  I was able to function and get my daughter to/from school, groceries, clean, etc...but it was tough and many tears were shed.  Then 1 day after my "6 month free", things lifted.  Not entirely, but enough that it was far more tolerable...and it's been that way ever since.  A few things have continued to improve since then...whereas some things are lingering and get worse every once in awhile (mainly GI issues). 

 

Hang in there...when I was where you are now, I needed SO much support and reassurance, so I can tell you from experience that this DOES get better. I was losing hope close to 6 months free, but I'm so happy I stuck it out. 

 

All my best, hugs and healing,

Schatje

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mmir-

I am right where you are. 5.5 months off, check my siggy line.

 

I have noticed that things have worsened for me too in recent weeks. I have felt like everything was far worse than I realized and I have gone back to thinking that this will never get better, whereas I was noticing steady improvements in the months leading up to month 5. Now it all feels so hopeless.

 

I am curious to see what others say. But please know that you're not alone, and you described almost the exact same thing as I do. Physical s/x all but gone, but psychological ones are tormenting me. Intrusive thoughts being the worst. If this is any consolation, I don't think it's a coincidence that we are almost the exact same time off and bnoth struggling almost identically.

 

I hope that month 6 really provides that corner I hear about!!!

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Hi, mmir.  Remember that window I had recently, and how my baseline has improved significantly?  Well, that was after a wave that began around the beginning of month 6, and lasted over a month -- I felt I was getting worse, as it reminded me in many ways of the infamous "month 2" I hated so very badly.  I believe that these bad waves at the 5-6 month range in recovery can really bring about improvement.

[[Ho...]]

I have been pretty terrible the entire time.  However, around month 4-5 things took a major downturn and have been getting progressively worse until now (I am 6.5 months off).  I think it's pretty typical to have a peak in symptoms around the 3-6 month mark...even some of the literature states this.  I hope these awful waves bring about some real progression for all of us in the near future. Hang in there! 

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Thanks wylidas, WTBNA and Hope4444.

 

Hope4444, where did you read this about the 3-6 month period being the worse?  I truly hope that's the case since this agitation is driving me insane!  

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For me months 2-4 were the worst... but I had PLENTY of problems at 5-6 months.  That said, my baseline did improve somewhere around that time. The waves became more sporadic. Could still be bad, but I'd say 5-6 months was the beginning of a real change for me in a better direction.  Too bad this thing is so jerky. (Up and down.)

 

Hang in there. Better days are ahead.

[[ja...]]

mmir...

 

Hello! Wow you sound just how I was.. I didnt have benzo buddies at the time I was in my month 6. So when I started to deteriate I was so comfused and very concerned.. I was so upset.I was like there is noway I can be getting worse its not possible.. I read Time Heals. I have like Forever behind me . How am I getting worse? What happened for me was. After that 3 month straight wave. I got a window at month 7.I saw huge diff. I saw Healing was possible after that.

Please dont get to upset it can kinda roll this way..

Hang in there I pray you get a Huge Window...

 

~Jenny

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I have been pretty terrible the entire time.  However, around month 4-5 things took a major downturn and have been getting progressively worse until now (I am 6.5 months off).  I think it's pretty typical to have a peak in symptoms around the 3-6 month mark...even some of the literature states this.  I hope these awful waves bring about some real progression for all of us in the near future. Hang in there!

 

Hope4444, I found a reference that states that 3-6 months is the worse.  I truly hope that's the case and there's going to be a break to this Hell soon

 

I'm in a terrible wave right now and I think it's just because of my hormones (monthly visitor)

[[wi...]]

I think I am about at 5 1/2 months and all hell has broken loose.  I had been doing very well - thought w/d was going to be easy for me, but started to have intense sxs right at 5 months off.  It was getting worse everyday.  Also ended up going off of low dose of progesterone and estrogen.  Now, the intrusive thoughts, agitation, and brain PAIN!! are the worst!  The insomnia is better than at the beginning of w/d - mostly my sleep seems interrupted now due to the pain.  I wish I had an answer for us.  Thanks for posting.  I am hoping there is something to this 5-6 month time period and that we will be getting better soon. 

 

Onward and upward,

Wish

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I haven't been feeling right since the very end of my fourth month, with things peaking this past week. Any bit of worrying seems to make my symptoms worse. Lets hope this dissipates as I enter my sixth month. If not, I'll take it with stride.

 

Can't let 'ol withdrawal get the best of me all the time 

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I'm at 8.5 months now. For me, months 4.5 to 6 were the worst. That's not to say it won't get bad again, because it could, but I really hope it doesn't. I've heard quite a few people say the 4-6 month period is the worst.

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I cant say that period was worse, but it was different and challenging. What through me was the emergence of old memories and trauma PTSD that I needed to work through. My anxiety went through the roof as well. So I was better than I had been the first month hallucinating, but I was sure in the hurt locker.

 

The first year is a challenge. You have to learn how to cope with out a benzo and your brain is going through some amazing changes.

 

It gets better. Slowly.

Ride out the bad days as best you and and know that you will heal one day.

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^Heh, I feel like watching The Hurt Locker now. Haven't seen it in a while.

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I am beginning month four and I feel worse now then ever before. (much much worse) New, strange and terrible sx's.  I pray this lets up soon.

[[Ho...]]

MMIR- I'm glad you found the resource.  I have read so many various articles, I wouldn't have been able to recollect exactly where I had found that piece of info. (especially not with this benzo cog fog brain).

I too pray that we are all experiencing the worst of it and we find some relief soon!

[[pa...]]

mmir,

 

It's not just you. I'm at 5.5 months off and had to restart 3mg of remeron to sleep and keep intrusive thoughts away. All this and I did actually have 2-3 short windows in the past few weeks where the fog lifted. I think it is much worse for me aas ovulation approaches when estrogen is high and then after I ovulate and progesterone kicks in and estrogen plummets, I have a lot of relative relief. I too hope this is the turning point. We are still alive but it's really not fun, huh? I hear you. I'm glad you posted this. I only wish we could all get together in one room for a group hug. Man, how I could really use some close friends in person to weathere this storm.

Love you all- Hang in there Mmir.

;)Parker

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Oh-I forgot- I was going to ask if you could post the link to that resource. I would love to read it and show my husband! Thanks!!

 

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It is on the Digital Dharma website under PAWS.

[[WT...]]

Though it wasn't AS difficult, month 6 reminded me a lot of month 2.  Month 5 was was my best month until month 7 came along, which has been my best month without doubt. 

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I have fewer symptoms for sure, but the ones I am left with are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!---so that's why I think I'm doing worse

Rage/agitation/anhedonia/intrusives---I am the HULK all day long without reason whatsoever!!!!!!!!!!!!!  UUuuuuggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

[[pa...]]

Mmir - LOL- I hear you. I have SO been there in the past week.  You are not alone.  Keep going. We HAVE to make it through. Soon - no matter what, time will pass - and we will be looking BACK on 5-6 months - NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN!

 

:)Parker

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Thank you parker, I always love your posts and your positivity!!!

 

The old me was always a 'glass half-empty kind of person' and very impatient too, so this is not easy for me

[[wi...]]

At the end of month 4 I started tolerance withdrawal from Progesterone.  It is interesting for me to read that some of you noticed more problems associated with hormonal cycles.  The symptoms were getting worse and worse so I rapidly reduced and jumped off.  If anyone else here is having problems with progesterone, DON'T GO COLD TURKEY OFF OF PROGESTERONE.  Perseverance has a lot of info on her blog and on the page related to other medications.  Last night I had to reinstate progesterone to get the convulsions to stop.  Today is horrible - feeling back to the beginning of this whole horrible, long journey.  I will meet with my doctor today and try to convince him that I need to do a slow taper off of progesterone.  He didn't think it was a problem.

 

Onward and upward,

Wish

 

God says he won't give me anymore than I can handle.  Some days I wonder why He thinks I'm so strong!

[[...]]

At the end of month 4 I started tolerance withdrawal from Progesterone.  It is interesting for me to read that some of you noticed more problems associated with hormonal cycles.  The symptoms were getting worse and worse so I rapidly reduced and jumped off.  If anyone else here is having problems with progesterone, DON'T GO COLD TURKEY OFF OF PROGESTERONE.  Perseverance has a lot of info on her blog and on the page related to other medications.  Last night I had to reinstate progesterone to get the convulsions to stop.  Today is horrible - feeling back to the beginning of this whole horrible, long journey.  I will meet with my doctor today and try to convince him that I need to do a slow taper off of progesterone.  He didn't think it was a problem.

 

Onward and upward,

Wish

 

God says he won't give me anymore than I can handle.  Some days I wonder why He thinks I'm so strong!

 

Oh God, so sorry about your convulsions! I hope everything gets sorted out for you soon ((((((Hugs))))))