:(

[[Le...]]

This is ridiculously abusive to your mind. I don't know how each of us can't feel like something else is wrong with us. Time is ticking away and everyday seems to present new challenges. What is even more awful is that no person's experience is the same which doesn't leave me comfortable that withdrawl is what I am experiencing. All I know is that I'm sick. I feel awful daily and I feel like I am just waiting for the day my heart stops from all the stress its under. My pulse stays pretty high and the dizzyness is getting worse. I am trying to hold on and tell myself its going to get better but I am running out of the will to believe it when it just doesn't seem to get better. Sure I have minutes and hours of no sypmtoms but like a HUGE WAVE it keeps coming back. When it isn't there I keep waiting for it to come back to where it causes me to feel like I have symptoms. This is maddening and I'm scared that I may have to quit my job because I feel like shit everytime I am there. I made an appointment with a psychologist on Friday but wish that I could find a doctor in Florida that works in benzo withdrawl.Today is sad

[[sh...]]

I feel you man- I have had some pretty good days but completely forget about them when a wave hits- I tell myself when Im good that I have to remember this is just temporary the bad feelings wont last forever but it just goes out the window and I feel like I cant go on! This really sucks! I try to distract myself but what works one day makes it worse the next- I hope someone can give you - us all- sage advice.. it is hard to take the advice- people telling you you will get over this in time- I have given advice in my good moments but I feel hypocritical when I can't take my own advice. I guess I have it i the back- way back-of my mind that I will get better, just gotta keep trying different things. It definatly helps to constantly reassure ourselves that this is not our doing its the w/d and it helps to be able to bitch about how we are feeling to people who dont say we are being selfish or crazy. I am praying for a miracle- to find someone who can repair us all and stop this suffering. hang in there

[[Le...]]

Thanks ShyHamlet

[[Ni...]]

I know the feeling. I have constant anxiety/adrenaline rushes and AM dizzy spells, where I would just sit up slowly and things would start to spin and tilt. I would lay down flat put one foot down flat on the bed and close my eyes. I also fell down the stairs and  up the stairs, hit my head and working on a green purple bruise on my hip from a dizzy spell while walking. They went away for awhile but I am just scared they will come back.

[[wy...]]

I TOTALLY feel ya, Leo. It really messes with the mind when we think there is something more wrong with us than benzo wd.

I have gotten to the point where I don't even call it WD anymore. It's RECOVERY. People seem to understand that a lot more at least. But, yeah, I don't talk about it with most people anymore because they just look at you with a face of confusion cause they clearly have no idea what this is like. For hundreds (if not thousands) of others to go through this and many (if not most) of them to say it gets better, it must truly get better. I don't see what anyone would gain out of lying about it. And on the really bad days where I feel like you do, I have to remind myself that healing DOES happen. It would be a physical impossibility almost for healing not to occur. We all have to really try to be gentle with ourselves, especially during this time.

[[Le...]]

Thanks for the reply's all. I am missing yet another day of work due to terrible headache and panic this morning. this is my fourth sick day out of five. I stress about what happens when I am  out of sick time. Will they fire me? Since this isn't recognized in the US will they be able to work with me? Frightening to say the least but hopefully things will get better soon

[[...]]

Hi Leo:

 

As you can see by previous replies, you are not alone.

It is difficult to cope with the way a lot of symptoms hit out of the blue after you had a few hours of relief.  It can be virtually impossible to stay positive at times.

 

I have been on sick leave since November 2011 and recently applied for long term disability.  I don't know if my application will be approved or not.  I'm sorry you're also having to deal with the added stress of worrying about missing work and finances.

 

I hope the appointment with the psychologist will help you.  Please keep us posted.

 

Message me anytime you need to talk.

 

Hang in there.

 

mmgc

 

http://www.picgifs.com/graphics/h/hugs/graphics-hugs-221278.gif

 

 

 

 

 

[[wy...]]

Leo- I am right there with you on the sick leave thing. I, too, had to call in sick today, my 4th day of the last 5 too.

 

I wanted to offer you some insight. Check into FMLA leave. Many companies offer it and it's FEDERAL LAW that if you have a legit medical issue, you get 12 weeks per rolling calendar year to take care of yourself or a family member. Start with that. It will not guarantee you will be paid while you're out (which I know is a whole other ball of wax) but it WILL guarantee your job will be there upon your return, and that is something at least.

 

As far as what your medical issues are, you may run into a lot of medical experts who will not understand benzo withdrawal or recovery, so you may have to go out on the anxiety or depression issues alone. I was approved for 8 weeks off back in November and I am not even sure if the medical claims examiner reviewing my case believed in benzo wd, but I didn't care as long as I got to go out on medical leave to recover. I am still pursuing other leave options to this day, but that's a whole separate story. The point is: You may be able to take the time off you need to recover, even if you have to convince a psychiatrist or medical doctor to be your advocate that you're legitimately dealing with major psychological issues. At least those are recognized by the medical community.

 

Let us know how the doc visit goes. Just know you have options. You just have to do your best to get the ball rolling.I can help you if you like.

[[Le...]]

I am going to see my psychologist Friday and then see what she is comfortable doing. Thanks for the feedback and I hope I can pay it forward to each of you who keep coming to my rescue. I am in a small window as of this evening and am hoping it will stay through tomorrow. Thanks for all your thoughts and words of wisdom.