Please help me, please read my story and let me know what ya'll think :/

[[Iw...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I am nearly a month into my taper and have went from .5mg to .25. I had went to to quarter of .5mg but that was too much. Went into my dr. and told them I wanted off and she told me to go back up to .25 for a month and at my appt next month we will discuss my next taper.

 

Everyday seems like the twilight zone. The worst things I am going through with this is depression, depersonalization, and extreme fatigue.

 

I am not sure what to do. Do I just keep truckin and try to get off of this crap? I have been sick the last 5 years of my life, and was given klonopin about a year and a half into the bladder disease I suffer with (interstitial cystitis) to calm it down as it causes extreme pain in my bladder, and I was peeing about 40 times per day and thoughout the night. After I started on klonopin and pain meds my health has just continued to get worse and worse. I was diagnozed with fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, vulvadynia, and sjogrens syndrome. I live in constant pain, whether it be my private area, my bladder, my arms, knees, elbows, joints in general, neck, muscles, head, neck, burniing hands, right arm, lord and the list goes on but I think this tells a bit of what I have been going through. I am a mother and wife. I am 34 years old living now on SSDI.

 

So a few months ago I started going to a dr. here and started a new compounded thyroid med. Everything was going great. I was on the new thyroid med, the .5mg of klonopin to help with sleep and to calm bladder down, and pain meds for pain everywhere. Well a month into this I started progesterone cream and it was really helping my bladder and also with sleep that I thought I would just slowly taper off of the klonopin. Well I was never told it would be the biggest nightmare of my life. When I started noticing something was very wrong is when I started feeling like I was floating, like I was not really in my body, and I was also having panic attacks. Well, I quit taking the new thyroid med and went back on my olf one, I also quit the progesterone, and I continued the klonopin but at a much lower dose. I kept trying to researc and figure out what was going on. I thought for sure it was the progesteron...but I hadn't been on it in a few weeks so it wasn't making since...that is when I stumbled across this site and it dawned on me that oh my god I have been wd'ing from the klonopin.

 

I am now at .25 per doctors orders (originally started at the .5mg) and almost a month into this wd. I am crying pretty much everyday, laying on the couch, and feel very, extremely weird. I do wanna get off of this poison but not sure if I am cut out for this. I want to keep trucking but right now I feel hopeless and very, very sad.

 

I am wondering and not sure I would even go back up now knowing this is poison, however...if I went back up to the .5mg would I feel like my old self again? Well the self I had learned to be prior to this month?

 

Thank ya'll in advance. Sorry if this is not making sense. I feel I don't make any sense right now. I feel so lost and so alone. I feel like all of my surroudings are very off. I just don't know what to do and need relief.

 

Also, does magnesium help ya'll? I am taking it at night to help with sleep but not sure if it is adding to this or not. Lord help me please.

[[mr...]]

I'm really sorry you are going thru all of that.

Have u had a 25-hydroxy D test done, since u have an autoimmune disease?

I am not experienced with proper tapers, but from what i have researched, the slower the taper is usually better to manage and there is usually a cross over to valium.

Someone more knowlegable on this may jump in soon.

Hope things get better soon.

 

[[Ni...]]

I have no words really to say except I'm sorry you are going through such hell, you are in my prayers. I have ulcerative colitis, a stomach ulcer and gastritis as well as a medical mishap when a doctor pulled a urinary capther (can't spell) out the wrong way. Any benzo will make everything worse, just think of that and stay as full of hope as you can, hugs.

[[Ni...]]

I have no words really to say except I'm sorry you are going through such hell, you are in my prayers. I have ulcerative colitis, a stomach ulcer and gastritis as well as a medical mishap when a doctor pulled a urinary capther (can't spell) out the wrong way. Any benzo will make everything worse, just think of that and stay as full of hope as you can, hugs.

[[bl...]]

Double check your thyroid levels. I'm serious. They can easily mimic anxiety (or cause it). I've been on several thyroid meds. One is indistinguishable at too high a dose from a full on panic attack. It's just a blood test. Be sure they do NOT just test your TSH, but also a T3 and T4 to check the range. This is best done through an endocrinologist. You will want to rule that out because it's potentially serious but absolutely treatable. Family doctors have not been, in my experience, adept with this. Sometimes the gynecologist is a bit sharper about it; they deal with hormones more. At any rate, you can ask for the T3/T4 combo test (if you really want to make sure, ask them to "check the fractions." If they don't know what you mean, try another endocrinologist who specializes in the thyroid).

 

Best luck from someone who had her thyroid removed and takes thyroid medication ALONGSIDE panic disorder with extreme carefulness. I've had major problems in my day from my thyroid being "just on the line."

 

 

[[ka...]]

hi iwantoff you sound like me im on thyroid meds been on them for 4 years now never had a problem till i went on benzo found out it was not the thyriod meds but the benzo withdrawls couseing all the sys i all so use estrogen cream i had no problem with that too.im off the benzo i was on 0.5 and taper to 0.25 like you then i cut my .25 in 4 peaces an took one peace away every 2 weeks know im 7 months benzo free and doing very good im still on my thyriod meds with no problem but yes get checked like blue said TSH and T3 and T4 are important please remember these are things that worked for me every one is different love in JESUS,,,kate7

[[Iw...]]

Hi everyone...

 

Thank ya'll so much for the responses. Over the last few days I have slowly started feeling a little better. I went to Sea World yesterday with all of my family including extended and it was fun. I was able to hide behind my sunglasses all day, which for me is always helpful. I often wondered if they thought I seemed odd. Little did they know they all seemed "not there" to me...or that I was not there. I did begin to have a panic attack at one of the shows so took my dose at that time and it settled it down.

 

Anyhow I do believe all of this (in regards to my initial post) is due to the k wd's. I did go to my thyroid dr. this week and we did  blood work to recheck my thyroid. He does the full panel. He is an awesome thryoid guru here in Austin.

 

I started tracking all of this, all of the weird symptoms and it all goes back to when I started to wd. I remember calling the pharmacist, the thyroid dr, my best friend, and mom and trying so hard to explain to them that I was losing my mind. The main complaint I had was the depersonalization. The floating in a cloud feeling, nothing seeming real, and having a real hard time driving.

 

I can't wait to get off of this poison, however I do intend on tapering slowly with the last .25 I am on. The only problem not taking the k now is my sleep is horrid, and also my bladder (the reason I went on k 3.5 years go) is flaring all of the time (burning and I am peeing all of the time due to the interstitial cystitis). I still want to get off though because now that I realize how the k effects my mind so much, it explains the person I have become and do not like.

 

I miss me.

[[pa...]]

I am going to PM you.